Adult Children, Inherited Financial Anxiety

“the bit about one parent having no clue how to pay the bills when the other went into the ER hits close to home. saw that exact panic with my own folks a few years back and it's such a preventable disaster. estate planning is the least exciting topic until it's suddenly the only thing that matters. also cracking up at using rover to get the dog paid socialization, that's a level of optimization i can only aspire to [re: 2+ years in]”

“Thats... actually not a bad idea! My parents have a trust, but if they didn't and they came to my sister and I and said "we want to form a trust to make your lives easier after we die but money is tight or illiquid right now..." I know I (and I bet my sister too) would be happy to split the cost to get that done. [re: Trusts, worth it or not?]”

“So your dad has multiple properties and no insurance on any of his investments (aka his money) because insurance is a scam? And your plan is to follow his example? 1) I hope none of those properties are in your names so no tenant ever goes after either of you personally. 2) I'm assuming by equity loan, you mean if a tenant burns 1 property to the ground, or if nature destroys 1 property, you'll take the equity out of a 2nd property to rebuild the 1st b/c you're not getting equity out”

“Both you and your parents and siblings had to have lived Quite the extravagant lifestyle to rack up that much debt. Seriously.......where did That Much money come from? [re: learned my parents are in debt for 40 million]”

Thank you! [re: Mom's IRA and other accounts... TL/DR at end...]

“My dad is in his early 60s and unexpectedly lost his job yesterday. He has six months of severance, but I'm really worried about my family's financial future. He recently invested six figures in cash into starting a new business that hasn't opened yet. The opening is planned for November, but there's been little marketing and it serves a niche market in rural America. Who knows how long it will take to become profitable and cover his living expenses. I told him either go all in o”

“My parents are getting older (as humans do) and having some health issues, and we're having conversations about selling our house, them selling their house, and buying a larger property together. Does anyone else live with this kind of arrangement? submitted by /u/Tylerdg33 [link] [comments]”

“Hello! I am an only child who has been looking after my very elderly mother's finances, as she lost the ability to handle anything financial, a few years back. I have very little experience with money; I know how to pay the bills and keep her expenses covered, but I want to be a good steward of her resources, as they are funding her end-of-life care. I have full DPOA authority, and live in the same city, seeing her almost every day. Her situation: Retired Federal employee, receiving monthly”

“He’s in his late 50s now. his plan is to just leave most of it as cash and withdraw a lump sum every year. I asked him why he doesn’t wanna buy dividend stocks and pull a “salary” from that while his principal remains. he said he worked it out for 35 years and what’s the point of dying with all his principal still there (thanks dad). what Do you guys think about that? submitted by /u/AmItheonlySaneperson [link] [comments]”

“Can someone give me some advice? I’m a 21-year-old woman and already an orphan. My dad passed away last year, and my mom passed away five years ago. I’m planning to get insurance because I’m not sure where I should put my money. I want to build a source of passive income and secure my financial future. I want to make wise financial decisions while I’m still young so I can become financially stable in the long run. What would you recommend I do? Should I get insurance, start investing, or focus o”

“Hi everyone! I’m trying to help my mom get her retirement savings on the right track, and I’d really appreciate some advice from people who have experience with retirement accounts. My mom is 52 years old, and she currently has a SEP IRA with Primerica that has approximately $7,000 in it. I’m looking into moving her money to Fidelity because I’d like to help her invest for the long term. I’m interested in the S&P 500 ETF VOO, but I’m still learning how retirement accounts and transfers work.”

“Mom is 81 and has a lifelong pension, dad is mid 80s, has no retirement but has rental income. They have social security income. We live in a HCOL area. I supplement their income by paying a good part of the rent. With that, they have enough to break even but I suspect most months they come out a little behind (a few hundred at most) because they like to travel (modestly) and they use their means to support my intellectually disabled brother who lives across the country, taking out the grandkids”

“Hi guys! First off- I myself (30's) am a through and through Boglehead and embrace it fully in my retirement planning. My father, 59, is hoping to retire around 65 years old. Located in midwest, if that matters. He has around 178k saved in his 401k due to historic low contributions and poor investment choices (gambles) that resulted in major losses. In the last year or so, I have convinced him to take losses on his risky positions and move them into broad market funds. Here's the current”

“You are a teenager. The money you are sending your parents is enabling your parents to not change their lives for the better. They feel they can blow their money frivolously and then get you to pay their bills. Your mom has a job!: why on earth does she "need" money from you to pay for food for herself? Do you see how wrong this is? Both your parents are working adults in the prime of their lives. It's time they grew up and started adulting. [re: Advice needed]”

submitted by /u/Plastic-Meringue7180 [link] [comments]

“4% is recommended for people at age 65 to last 30 years. They are 51. It's not very far off but it's a pretty high draw for someone single with a part time job (i know location matters). [re: Guaranteed annuities for retirement. Good or bad?]”

“Definitely get them using Quicken or similar. You have to pound into them to check and watch their finances every paycheck. It should be part of their routine that when they get their paycheck they go to their finance software and make sure it's there - then look at their expenses/spending to see that they are sticking to their budget. [re: 20s coworkers asking for advice on handling finances]”

“Will they go bankrupt? I don’t really get the reasoning for this limit. submitted by /u/CommunicationNice437 [link] [comments]”

“I was with the same company for 11 years, but this year has been difficult personally and professionally. I had to put both of my parents in assisted living in January. In March my best friend passed away from cancer. The company I worked for has been struggling for a few years and the prospect of closing their doors seemed always looming. I finally decided to take a job offer in Florida. I was in Texas at the time. After a couple weeks there I discovered that they were doing some things that I”

“Heeyyy!!! I just found out today I am in a similar situation! My retired parents haven't paid anything or filed anything since (they think) 2016. Their checking account was just levied with a crazy amount due (50k). There's definitely neurodivergence in there, probably autism, and OCD, but as if we could get them diagnosed.... Also in Oregon! I will be piggybacking off of a lot of the advice you got here. But I would love to know, one month in, how's it going? What questions do you w”

“Re: budgeting, one strategy is to make sure that the parent is getting all of the benefits available - given their age, medical history, and financial position. [re: How do you budget for a fixed income senior parent who refuses to spend on safety]”

“The fixed income senior budgeting challenge is real because every monthly expense gets scrutinized and safety often loses to groceries, medications, and utilities in the priority list The parent refuses to spend money on themselves, the adult child wants to help but has their own financial pressure, and the result is that safety just gets deferred month after month until something forces the issue The math is brutal too because assisted living costs $4000 to $7000 per month while basic emergency”

“My mom was battling cancer and sadly passed away last month. The medical bills has affected them financially. He only has about $20,000 saved in cash and $40,000 in his 401k ( he stopped contributing to it years ago ). Their last mortgage payment is this month. He has 3 children whom are all grown and 2 grandchildren from me. My dad wants to start putting money towards life insurance so that his kids and grandkids can get something from him after he dies. He told us to find a good life insurance”

“My dad is in the process of moving back out there. He says it's not as bad as you would think.... He's an (well was, he's 65) accountant so not as bad as you would think is probably at least somewhat accurate if you make three digits. [re: That time of year again :(]”

“Yes, but then people complain as to why their parents didn’t save for retirement. They can’t support able bodied adults and also save for retirement. [re: How is anyone surviving financially?]”

“Sounds like deloitte [re: I think my mom might be fired soon and its breaking my heart]”

“Purely a hypothetical question, knock on wood something I'm hopefully like 30 years away from worrying about, but thinking about my late grandma's retirement situation keeps me up at night... she inherited a multimillion dollar estate after my grandpa died unexpectedly, and ultimately died penniless after blowing through all the money on scams and bad investments. It turned out that she'd developed Alzheimer's and no one knew until it was too late, between my family living on the”

“Here’s a question for OP and everyone else. You retire today. You are single, 65 years old, no kids, living in the USA. Your family has been relatively healthy and usually lives to their mid 80s. You are relatively healthy and reasonably expect a similar outcome. Your monthly expenses are $4,000 per month ($48,000 per year) You receive a Social Security check every month for $1,500. Your house and cars are paid off. You have a Roth IRA, as your only source of retirement income other than SS, val”

“Retire. Spend time with your mom and family while they’re still here. That’d be a great way to say thank you [re: Inheritance bombshell and options]”

“As I become a bit more financially literate and stable, I've started taken an interest in my parents retirement and would like to help them be well setup for it. They are not the most financially literate people and they generally shy away from talking about money, but they're asking for my help with it. Their current situation is not too: They have about $710k net at a Swiss bank that manages their money for them (roughly $860k in assets but offset by a $150k loan at 4.86%). I have a fe”

“That is amazing 👏👏👏 Your mom is an OG!! My Dad was in same industry.. although much earlier. [re: For the 60+ that retired in their 40s... tell me about it]”

“Potential 50/30/20 Rule Complete overview all expenses Wants: 0% of Income - Weekly expenses -To be Determined Fixed Monthly Expenses \-None Needs: 100% of Income - $1,241.40 every 2 weeks - $2,482.80 a month Weekly Expenses -Groceries - $100 a week - ($400 a month) Fixed Monthly Expenses \-Rent - $1850 \-Gas - $150 -Xfinity - $50 -Geico - $238.48 -Visible - $30 -Accellus Academy - $79 -Public Storage - $59.71 - Utilities - $100 -Amazon Prime - $15.98 -Gym - $10.65 Total Expenses a Month = $2,98”

“So, there are no offspring of your grandfather to take the obligation of caring for him? Tough situation, all of us on here would handle it differently. [re: I need a job to take care of me and my grandpa]”

“[Sorry for another "how am I doing?" post] We live in Bay Area CA. We are a family of 3 (35F, 35M & 1M) trying for a new baby to be born late next year. This is where we are: Net monthly income: 17k. This is after fully funding 401k, IRAs, and health insurance. 25k annual bonus. 50k RSUs. Savings: 230k (HYSA), IRA (510k), 401k (40k, we switched jobs this year, and moved old ones to IRA), investments (438k), baby's 529 (50k), baby's investment account (125k), baby's HYSA”

“Don’t become a joint holder if she has a substantial amount of $$. Half her money will be counted as your income. [re: Mom in hospital. Questions.]”

“But [re: Annuity question - parents are now thinking they got scammed, what's next?]”

“You can give them $19,000/year/parent with no reporting requirements. Above that, you have to file a form with the IRS. [re: Giving my parents ~$1,000/month via Cash App, any tax forms or structuring risk?]”

“No on both points, send away [re: Giving my parents ~$1,000/month via Cash App, any tax forms or structuring risk?]”

“Your mom may need LTC down the road. It probably will cost 100K to 1 million. This is difficult to plan for. My parents set aside 2 million for LTC at home. Its a good idea to plan for this. As for inheritance, I would treat it as if you dont have the money. Once you get the money, put it in short term treasuries. Then figure out what you want to do and dont make any life altering discussions for at least six months. [re: Inheritance bombshell and options]”

“So I’m turning 65 in a couple of months. I’ve worked for 50 years. I have enough to retire on. My health is good but not great. When I told my family I was as thinking of retirement they were not supportive. I’ve always been the main breadwinner so I think that is the issue. I’m so disappointed in their reaction. My question is how did you decide to retire and how did your family take it? submitted by /u/Unfair-Photograph78 [link] [comments]”

submitted by /u/UnionFriendly7242 [link] [comments]

“A bit of context: Mum has a brain injury, and I receive Carer Payment while providing support for her. I’ve been cooking her dinner, buying groceries and cigarettes, helping with medication, giving her money when I can and trying to help her find better housing. The payment doesn’t cover everything I spend supporting her. Yesterday, Mum messaged me asking why I’d transferred $100 into her account. I’d sent her the money to help with essentials and had also organised a basic grocery shop. The con”

“Honest take: "a couple years" isn't realistic, but "reduce their load" is. Retiring two people in their 50s means funding 30+ years of living costs, and they can't touch their super until 60 anyway, so you'd be covering everything out of pocket. Your degree is the best investment you can make, because a graduate salary a few years from now will do more for them than any side hustle you start today. [re: I want to retire my parents early]”

“Me too ( I am 21 right now but hopefully when I have kids and when I am 50 they will be thinking of retiring me ) [re: I want to retire my parents early]”

“Hi guys I'm 19. My parents have migrated to Australia. And I want to retire them. I have just completed my highschool and have been working for the past year (gap year) I want to get a uni degree at all costs aswell. My parents are starting to hit their early 50's and are getting physically tired. Their jobs (they work in security) are also very mentally and physically demanding. I know I'm young and not making enough by far to be thinking of such a thing but I feel like if I start n”

“Quick facts: My Dad is 80 years old; my mom is 76. They have always used financial advisors. Their current advisor is retiring and they are now "shopping" for a new advisor. I've been a Bogelehead for years. I don't personally use a financial advisor, and frankly don't trust them. That said, for someone like my Dad I can see why an advisor probably makes sense. My Dad doesn't understand how to invest, and he needs help. I don't personally want to give him advice - I”

“That's what my dad did in 2006. Even today, his investments never covered the losses of that time. [re: What do banks do with my money, and can I do that instead?]”

“Pretend the money doesn’t exist. Your mom could develop health issues and medical costs could wipe out her fortune. She could meet a new man and get swindled. She could have a change of heart and leave it all to charity. The fact she had this kind of money and you had zero clue means you don’t really know her at all. And that means you can’t count on that money. [re: Inheritance bombshell and options]”

“Not too personal, I wrote a bit about this elsewhere in the thread. My mom had a good career (nothing crazy), but mainly she is a savvy investor who made some aggressive bets over 40+ years. She put a bunch of money into Apple in the 90s and bought into Amazon after the dot-com crash (and kept buying as it took off). Those were her biggest wins, but there were others, and she was also smart about holding through downturns and diversifying. I still have a lot of questions and she was always (inte”

“I’m 20 years old and live in Michigan, and I’m trying to figure out the smartest career/education path for the next few years first to start my grandfather is a 45 year cpa. I already have an associate degree in Cybersecurity with about a 3.2 GPA. My long-term goal is to become a CBP Officer, preferably working at an airport. I have a clean background, no criminal history, and as far as I know I will meet the basic requirements for CBP. I’m considering getting my CDL Class A when I turn 21 and w”

“Forgive my ignorance, my blue collar parents did not graduate HS so I am doing my best as a first gen white collar woman. I have saved since my 20's into a Vanguard Tax Sheltered Annuity plan, which I think is a 403B, through my healthcare employer, until I retired 2 years ago. It is all pre-tax $ in there. (I was under age 55 at retirement.) My son will start college next year and I need to pull money out of my retirement funds to pay for this. ( I can afford it.) I understand I cannot take”

“First focus on what your mom really needs. Many adult children don't understand the a portfolio for a retired person needs to focus on meeting their needs and their appetite for risk and not just beating the S&P500. De-accumulation is very different from accumulation. Before you change anything, work with your mom to understand her needs and wants. How much does she need for her budget? Is she planning any large expenses? Any big trips? What would help her sleep better at night? Once you”

“I’m looking for recommendations for a (specific type ?) financial advisor for my mother. She is in her late 60’s and not responsible with her money. She needs someone to check in very regularly to monitor her spending and accounts. Investment help would be a bonus but not the immediate concern. She is going to run out of money for her future. Anyone have experience or recommendations? She is not open about this with me or the family so there is no way that I can get through to her. I’ve tried fo”

“I’m looking for recommendations for a (specific type ?) financial advisor for my mother, south of Boston to the Cape preferably. She is in her late 60’s and not responsible with her money. She needs someone to check in very regularly to monitor her spending and accounts. Investment help would be a bonus but not the immediate concern. She is going to run out of money for her future. Anyone have experience or recommendations? She is not open about this with me or the family so there is no way that”

“My elderly mom has $10M+ so not quite in same ballpark, but close enough as I am an only child. Drives a 10+ year old Prius which she bought after angrily selling her problem prone mercedes. Gets her hair cut in someone’s garage for $10. Shops only at macys if she has a coupon. We try to take two vacations with her a year - she treats and I have slowly increased the quality of the hotels, flights, and restaurants but fortunately her networth keeps increasing. I also wonder what I should be doing”

“Know of a person in a similar situation, person’s mother passed and didn’t realize what she had. After estate closed they still work despite inheriting north of $10 million. Think they’re now trying to build a legacy for the next generation and get it to 50. However this person wishes their mother would have spent more of their money on themselves while they were still alive. They really acted like they had nothing near this amount. IMO plan trips and lasting memories while they’re still alive.”

“My father (60+) signed up for this course and put in a few thousand dollars and looks like he lost it. My father is not technically illiterate or mentally hindered despite his age so I’m inquiring to see if this is a real school or just a scam. It would have to be a pretty good scam to trick him so I’ve looked up whatever information I can on them but there aren’t many reviews or conversations happening on them online just some self published articles which isn’t enough for me. Looks like their”

“I'm almost 40 and my son just turned 2. Today I got news that my father is blind from glaucoma his last good eye finally gave out. I'm completely gutted. I tried calling my mom the other day and she put my dad on the video call and my son had the phone and he was like I can barely see him and had a dejected face. My heart shattered. I really can't believe the last time we visted my parents was probably the last time my dad could see my son. And I took that time for granted, I wouldn&”

“I’m 31F and feeling pretty stuck about what to do next with my life. I’d really appreciate some outside perspectives because I feel like I’m too close to the situation to see my options clearly. Here are the main variables I’m working with: Career: Psychology degree, originally pursued medicine, eventually moved into a school district and then promoted internally to HR. I’ve been with the district for 5 years, 2 in HR. The job is stable, but I don’t find it meaningful and I don’t see a strong pa”