Bartenders Dealing with Stress & Entitlement

“I've been in debate with the owner's brother's wife where I bartend at a restaurant somewhere between fine dining and high end casual. Used to be exclusively gone dining but toned down a bit about fifteen years ago. Anyway, the "head bartender" creates a number of drinks that are build in glass rather than shaken when they probably should be for seasonal menus and just works all around like it is a dive bar to make things easy over quality. We hired another bartender that u”

That’s what a commissary is for.

“..I was told I couldn't straw test my cocktail last night. Looked it up when I landed home. Yes, my (very lovely and amazing manager said it to me and I went "hahaha...yeah yeah..." but no, they made it "ilegal". Any of ya'll dealt with this? I have the next hearing date in my calendar so, let's get together becaue it's insane. They ALLOW tastes of beer, wine, and ciders....to which we all know know give or take what those things are gone taste like to explain”

“I hope I flaired it right! Basically I work part-time as a bartender at a restaurant.I work with this other bartender and she’s very….challenging to deal with. I believe she’s in her early 20s while im in my late 20s. She’s very condescending and comes off as very passive aggressive. Other people have noticed this and have commented on it. Other coworkers don’t like her but because she’s amazing at what she does, management is very reluctant to address it with her. When I work with her, she’s co”

“Hey what's up. Very recently noticed that bartenders seem happy when I stumble to the bar and politely ask for water. Is it a rare occurance? I'm not sure why, but I'm happy they're happy - maybe it is comedic I worked as a barista before and didn't mind serving tap water for free (despite manager saying to charge for it - ew, it was a heatwave too). But bartenders seem a little happier serving water than beer submitted by /u/Smooth-Ad801 [link] [comments]”

“So our venue doesn't include a bar tender etc im trying to decide between hiring a full service bartender (they provide the drinks, the glassware etc) the cost for this is $2500 + the alcohol used. Or supplying all my own ice and mixes and glassware, and just hiring a bartender - which would probably be closer to $1000 for the bartender fee Or doing a fully DIY options where it's just cans for drinks, and drink dispensers set up, so its all pretty much self serve Want to hear other peopl”

“Woke up to a group text the other day from one of our owners that we’re going dry staff now. I figured something happened while I was off. Yup, one of our bartenders got drunk, then disappeared for 2 hours cuz they saw a stray puppy. Eventually they did come back but with the puppy. submitted by /u/LetsSacrificeGrandma [link] [comments]”

“The other day there was someone in here talking about how a guest was complaining that their Long Island was “weak” because they refused to give the guest extra alcohol for free, but the only spec I’ve ever known does give the guest more than 2oz alcohol, so what is your spec? Similarly I see different bartenders and different bars go way different on martinis. I typically go 3.5oz of gin or vodka and don’t really use vermouth unless it’s specifically requested. What’s y’all’s standard? su”

“I just need to get this whole situation off my chest because it literally just happened and I’m still processing it lol. I’m 24F and I’ve worked at the same small local restaurant for about 6 years, bartending consistently for around 3 years. I’m really close with my coworkers and our restaurant has always had a very relaxed, family/friend-group type atmosphere. Over the last couple years, taking an occasional shot behind the bar became pretty normalized among the 21+ employees. Bartenders, serv”

“Like I’m sorry you’ve been conditioned by wrongly made LITs and used to drinking straight gasoline. My bad for actually making a proper/balanced cocktail. These people think they’re being slick by paying more for really just a double thinking they’re getting extra alcohol. And then they’ll get pissy when I’m following the bar rules and have to charge them even more for more liquor. submitted by /u/tacosandsushi16 [link] [comments]”

“I work at a dive bar where we only ever have one bartender scheduled per shift, so I’m always working alone. I recently put a small pepper spray on my front door key since I’m usually the one opening the bar in the mornings. The bar can attract some pretty rough crowds, especially early in the morning because we’re the only bar in town that opens that early. I keep my keys in my apron while I work, and the other day I was digging around for a pen and pulled a few things out of my apron. A regula”

“I'm taking my 9 min or whatever it takes to eat some food. My other bartender came out from the bar, crossed the dining room, through the kitchen. Down the hallway into the break room to ask me "why did you tell a lady we can make a piña colada?" Because we can "It makes me look like an idiot" Just make it "I hate making them." Don't work where we have them then submitted by /u/MakeSomeDrinks [link] [comments]”

“Had a long time customer yell at me in front of a full bar and restaurant. I work at a small dive bar we don’t make fancy drinks it’s mostly beers and simple mixed drinks. We have this one customer who complains about absolutely everything. He comes in multiple times a day sometimes just to get water and complain about the food to the prices and everything in between. Today he wanted a martini I said we don’t have dry vermouth. No he wanted vodka chilled and strained with lime twist. Ok sure but”

“I've been both and have had some salty bartenders make remarks about one or the other, what do you think? submitted by /u/FunPeriaqueductal [link] [comments]”

“I’m a semi regular at this bar, and have a good relationship with one of the bar staff. He is honestly really kind to me, and over extends does far more for me then you would the average customer. I also tip him really well. I was kind of a drunk ahole last night. Got in an argument with another customer and when he tried to deescalate argued with him/accused him of not defending me. I feel really bad because honestly he’s so nice to me, he’s gotten me Ubers covered my tab when I forgot me card”

“So long story short I’m a bar lead, i got into it with my bartender because management was gonna let me go home early because it was slow. He started having a hissy fit because he thought he deserved it more although he went home early twice last week and I haven’t gone home early in a month. He kept complaining that he’s worked three days in a row and has to work tomorrow as well, so that’s not fair to him that he can’t go home early one day. Meanwhile, I have the same schedule as him except I’”

“So I work at a restaurant that has a bar in it. We are more of a restaurant than a bar, but obviously people are allowed to come in and just have drinks if they would like. So I’ve had a regular customer for the past 2 years (well just call her Anne) and Anne likes to come in, usually hang out and drink and maybe get food. She can be a little much, she really likes to trauma dump on whoever happens to be behind the bar (I don’t really mind) and can be a little needy when she actually does get fo”

“I've worked at a bar in Brooklyn for 4 years under a very petty, passive aggressive owner who will be chummy with you one day and will then send emails in corporate-lawyers speaking threatening to fire you over insignificant things (and we all know he takes out his unhappy relationship and failed music career on us when he's mad). Last week I had enough and sent him a scathing email telling him everything that we're all thinking about him (while also not implicating any of my other c”

“Well, title kind of explains why I am here unfortunately, lol. Our bartender backed out on us. Not even for a valid reason, but a petty one. We found her through a friend and since then… we fell out with said friend. Due to the fallout, she claims that she’d feel “uncomfortable” at our event without her pal. So, she kindly said she’d be declining and wished well in our now crunched find. We’re marrying on October 3rd of this year. I’ve reached out to several vendors and they’ve been booked so fa”

“Need advice! I’ve been a bar back for about a year and my friend’s bartender bailed last minute for her wedding. She asked me to step in as bartender. They asked me to make 3 drinks for her guests so easy enough. I’ve never done event bartending (or regular for that matter) so any advice? Am I in way over my head lol. Should be about 75 guests. Are there any questions I should be asking the bride/groom for me to get ready for this? Or any other thoughts on how to prep. submitted by /”

“Personally, I'm all for the FoH charging those folks for their cheapskate ways. 9 times out of 10 they making their own lemonade with the sugar packs or they pull out their own tea bags. submitted by /u/WaveTableSaw [link] [comments]”

“I’ve run into only a few problem customers as a bartender. 2 happened to be men with prosthetic legs, and last night was so bad that I had to call the cops for the first time ever. He came in agitated. This is a hotel lounge and he came from work, so being stressed isn’t abnormal. He asked for a shot of Jameson and a ginger ale. Then he started active neurotic, like possibly on drugs. A lot happened, tried to start a fight with other patrons, and wouldn’t leave. The thing that finally made me go”

“Only been bartending a month and I'm about to crash out from the disgusting things I hear every day. This is a short list, others include making jokes about gen1tals constantly or just overtly seggsual remarks out of nowhere. So far my solution has just been ignoring the comments, Grey rocking them, or telling them that what they said is disgusting. How do I navigate this? submitted by /u/luc-ii [link] [comments]”

“i'm sure ya'll are sick of these posts, but need someone to set me straight lol. starting to touch you whenever they asks if you want another drink when they didn't before, mentioning their ex in conversation, and teaching me dance lessons... at that bar means nothing, and it was just a slow shift right? someone feel to get me right and bring me back down to earth lol. submitted by /u/SweetWolf9769 [link] [comments]”

The drink was $8 and I tipped $2 .

“Had this response to a question on ChatGPT about ordering a drink near closing time: "As someone who has worked behind a bar, I'd have much preferred someone who came in at 10:50 for one pint, drank it and left on time, than a customer who'd been there since 7pm and was trying to squeeze in "just one more" after last orders." submitted by /u/eventuallyarrive [link] [comments]”

“I work in a hard dive bar right now. I had a man who had been moody the whole night try to trip a girl on her way to the bathroom. Our floors are unleveled stone, no idea how this hasn’t been flagged by HI but fuckin whatever. He tries to trip her on the way to the bathroom. She stumbles, goes “I’m sorry?” In a very incredulous theatrical fashion and I hear him go “it’s no problem watch your step”. Made the decision, he’s done. Cant get a word out before she went “no IM sorry” and whips her glas”

“Hello all, I'm a bartender in a small town in the smallest locals only bar. I have this regular he is a guy that's brilliant but has known problems with his drinking and gambling, he has filled out a voluntary ban from gambling with me however Tonight he said a few things that bothered me. Now a bit of background this guy bob (not his real name) is a problem drinker he will drink until cut off then continue to either another bar or go home and drink. Tonight he was the last one in while”

“For context it was the typical drunk customer who is is not served because he was cut off earlier. But last night he came around into the bar and attacked my bartender. I essentially got between the two of them and intimidated him to back off, at one point he tried to go again and so I pushed him out of the bar physically, meaning yes I did put a hand on him. We called security before that point since they didn’t arrive right away, but when they did we were essentially in the clear, he had alrea”

“Have anyone experienced an insane amount of disrespect recently from guests in your bar or even restaurant? Mainly this younger generation of fresh 21 year olds? The entitlement of these children is getting insane and i don’t know if it’s just our location or all around but I’ve seen a very big increase in people talking back and just out right disrespectful. I’ve experienced douche customers before. But it’s been bad now with these younger kids. submitted by /u/Cheddykrueger11 [link”

“So to all the Beverage Managers that are also a bartender: what's your experience in what you do as a beverage Manager and if you also bartend, how does that work out for you? Is there typically a salary involved when you also make tips? I'm also a beverage manger and sole bartender at a full service higher end cocktail type of place and I was just curious if anyone was in a similar position to me and also wondering what your wages and tips were like compared to each other. I make roughl”

“I've been a bartender at a chain cocktail bar in the UK for almost 2 years now, and its a very casual cocktail bar. Theres no flair, the drinks aren't anything special, there's nothing crazy impressive going on. So why do I get filmed ALL the time. Maybe I'm just a miserable bastard, but I wouldn't go into anyone else's place of work and film them doing their job, it just makes me extremely uncomfortable. I'd understand if I worked somewhere high end doing crazy trick”

submitted by /u/WordWordLarryBird [link] [comments]

“Any Topgolf Bartenders here, if so how is it? I understand it would mostly be service but how is the pay/management etc submitted by /u/Spacely420 [link] [comments]”

“One of the weirder, dumb guest interactions I’ve had in a long time. Sent out a Ranch Water for a table in a collins glass, as is our standard, and had the server come back saying the guest requested his drink in a “cocktail glass.” Felt so bad for this poor server cause he is brand new to serving and I think my reaction of “wtf” scared him a bit. A collins glass is a cocktail glass!! The glasses have names!!! All of the glasses behind my bar are cocktail glasses if I put a cocktail in it. Sent”

“I'm kind of besides myself and feel so hurt and betrayed. Are all bars on bullshit like this? I don't even know what to do. I've been trying to leave this bar for months now because it's abundantly clear they have no clue how to run the place. The job market is so bad. I'm so worried about paying my bills if I leave. I found out the other day that they started messing with our tips and giving them to people not in the tip pool. They didn't mention it to any one of us. No”

“the bar lead constantly complains about NEEDING a barback but in reality they just want someone to clean up after their horrible messes that they always refuse to acknowledge or clean. im a very relaxed and organized bartender but seeing the well that overcrowded actually got my skin crawling. how would you address this situation to a lead bartender???? submitted by /u/meeks2geek [link] [comments]”

“I bartend at a new location of a tenured seafood restaurant at the beach. I’ve been bartending for 10 years. I’ve seen lots of different ways to pay out the bartender, they’ve all made sense… except for here. We start with $250 in the drawer supplied by the restaurant. Tonight I had one cash sale of $13 and a couple grand in cc sales. My cc tips were $383 and I owed the food runner and barback $49 total. We are told to pull out cc tips from whatever the drawer is at at the end of the night. So I”

“I’m newer to bartending and we had a busy night where all bartenders were to pool tips recently. A client I was taking care of all night pulled me aside asking for her bill, and ended up paying another bartender. She sought me out after specifically and said “I already left a tip on the bill, but I want to give you something if only you can keep it.” I said okay, and she handed me $10. BARTENDERS In a situation like this, what do you do? Pocket it? Split it? Ask your colleagues for their input?”

“I work at an upscale/finerish restaurant inside a resort. Our lowest priced alcohol is $14 so not a cheap place. Anyways so I was serving these two ladies who split one meal and one small salad together and over a total of 3.5hours had a total of 6 drinks, five of them being 3oz martinis. At the 5th one I talked to a co bartender and basically said they seemed to be getting drunk and maybe I should slow them down. They were obviously slurring words and whatnot. Tried to offer some fries or chips”

“I manage an LGBTQ+ neighborhood dive bar in a major city, and we’ve recently had a lot of negative social media attention from a couple who came in last week. This couple claims we overcharged them for drinks and that similar drinks at comparable spots would be much cheaper. Looking back at the tab in the backend, they were here for four hours, ordered 4 Double Teremana Reposado Margaritas, 2 double Tito’s, an Absolut citron and a couple $5 seltzers. Now they are mad that their check was over $7”

“🤦🏼‍♀️ I’ve stopped asking questions that make sense at this place a long time ago”

“Oh no, I mean i am barely on the schedule right now. I am only on if there's any call offs. I wish I had more shifts. :( I am a "per diem" bartender”

“That's pretty low then. But it might be a slow weekend or a cheap crowd. I worked at a jazz club for about two years. We would have our $50 nights and our $300+ nights. A lot depended on who was playing that night. The longer you worked there, the more you learned whose fans were cheap or poor, and whose liked to throw money around. Long-term employees would even look at the calendar and plan their time off requests around it.”

“If im working the wine bar I dont pool but if its like in a bigger room/bar I am pooling with 1 other bartender.”

“Hey I didn't make much in alcohol sales, but I am working tonight and its like a comedy event so I will let you know how that goes. It was a quiet night, like maybe 2 tables that ordered food and like 4 guys that ordered like one or two drinks tops. But we just have the one bar back for like 3 bars so I didnt think much of that.”

“I wouldn't consider a somm a bartender. He's working fine dining. He might never have had to cover a bar shift. I had a lot of somm experience before I moved and got hired on as a bartender”

“It’s more of a rant, but like I said, I’m not new the the industry, just new to bartending. I always provide the best service I can. I have a few regulars who aren’t great tippers, but they are older, and they still do better than 10%. A well coiffed guy my age who rides a Harley in full leathers tipping that poorly is numerous standard deviations away from normal.”

“Hey guys so last week was my first week back into bartending. I was unemployed for two months, and was really struggling to find gigs (I used to bartend 2 years ago for like 7 years in another state) and honestly the only reason why i landed this gig was bc someone I know put a good word for me. Its a live music joint with 3 bars, and I worked a Saturday and Sunday night at the wine bar and only made 50 bucks each shift after tipping out the barback. I was really surprised tbh bc I thought I wou”

“What’s wrong with a tip pool? I’ve never worked at bar with multiple bartenders that there wasn’t a pool, and club split based on hours. I don’t want to work with people incentivized to be cutthroat about poaching guests”

“*holds up modelo* *i bring modelo* “i don’t want a modelo, i want a vodka cran” SIR? tell me that😂 i haven’t served you & didnt know you were even drinking a vodka cran submitted by /u/burritogoblinn [link] [comments]”

“Lol I had a gentleman ask where the blonde went. Told him she was no longer with the company. Never saw him again.”

“I’ll be honest it’s gonna be hard to win them over. I work in a sports bar and our clientele are mostly middle aged divorced or single guys. I asked them what they thought about us hiring a male bartender and every single one said they’d find somewhere else to go if a guy was behind the bar.”

“Learn their drinks. Be quick with the re-up. Offer the occasional freebie. Do it without much fanfare. Just knock the bar or something. Eventually they’ll chat.”

“if this is the kind of bar where you can over pour for regulars then do that if not just be patient edit: also if this is the kind of bar where you have multiple bartenders working in one shift next time you work with her have her vouch for you”

“Don’t get me started on a menu change. They would complain a terrible selling item was no longer on the menu and I would explain that at no point had they ever ordered said item. Their argument was, “Well, I’ve thought about it a few times””

“Ive only bartended a couple weddings but my rate was $50 an hour + tips or $100 an hour with no tip jar. I look at it as usually im taking off from my regular job most of the time to do an event and I would expect to make at least what i would have at my regular job and an average shift would be at least $300. Also, I would have to factor in what kind of set up im dealing with, do I have to bring my own tools ect... am I mostly dealing with wine, beer or are you”

“L-theanine is really great for anxiety. I take it every night and it curbs that shit so I can focus, not overthink everything, and multitask like the job requires without getting too far into my own head.”

“Hey all, recently got hired as barback at a local bar that is probably one of the busiest in the area and having a load of anxiety about the transition from my barista job so I’m looking for any tips! I’ve been managing/barista at a coffee shop for about two years now. I also work at a wine bar (we serve beer and a small selection of “cocktails”) at night that has its busy moments but for the most part is fairly slow. As with any new job (especially high volume”