Adult Children, Inherited Financial Anxiety
Adult children are grappling with financial anxieties stemming from their parents' inconsistent income and lack of financial literacy. This often leads to a cycle of paycheck-to-paycheck living and a feeling of insecurity about money, even when the child achieves financial stability. The parents' financial background significantly impacts the child's relationship with money.
SOURCES (60)
“Do your parents have any deductions? What kind of self employment? Any rental properties? Investment losses? Do they have a personal residence? Any other homes?”
“As the title suggests, my dad put our family in debt. He got laid off from his job a few months ago, and since he's 50, he isn't able to get a new one. We have no way of paying off the debt, my mom is a housewife and I'm just a college student. Working isn't exactly possible for me rn as my college curriculum is very hard to keep up with. I'm trying to side hustle but I'm scared about how we're gonna manage our day to day expenses. Once, my side hustle works then mayb”
“You need to budget about 2% a year for unkeep of house. Is that number for Federal Taxes enough? Do you go out and eat? Do you ever give any gifts? Do you donate money to any charities or causes?”
“I am committing to “retiring” as I call it, from big law after bonuses come in at the beginning of the year. Ideally, I’d like to take 6-12 months to help and spend quality time with aging parents and other aging family members and do some occasional contract work/mediation/ consulting under my own business before returning to a full-time gig. (I’m also actively applying to in-house gigs). What action items would you suggest for me to have started now so that when the transition time comes, all”
“My mom retired Feb 2026, so her gross earned income this year is $11,000, all from her W-2 job which she worked about a month this year. Her MAGI will probably be about $40,000, definitely <$153,000, from other sources like investment, annuities, etc. Filing status: single. She is not taking a distribution from her traditional IRA or Roth IRA. She wants to contribute $8,600 into her Roth IRA. Is this possible this year? In other words, can you contribute to a Roth IRA the year you retire, as”
“This week I helped move my elder mother into assisted care. She was livid and this has been a difficult time. At the same time I just received a message some folks want to schedule an interview. I’m trying to work everything around and it’s challenging. Should I tell them why I’m unavailable for a certain date (I’m going to visit to see how she’s doing) or just say “personal business“ and leave it at that? I don’t want to come across as secretive or difficult. I also realize by saying I have an”
“My FIL did the same thing when he retired. Did mechanical work for folks he knew, stuck to the basics. Made a pretty good living for quite a number of years. He did mobile work and did work at his home (rural so no neighbor/code enforcement issues). For a while he even worked part time for a local used car lot doing their pre sales inspections and repairs. This left their mechanics to do the more ins with stuff.”
“So true, whether it's regarding personal finances or something else... A few months ago I was told "she's still the mom and doesn't like being treated like a kid." Meanwhile, she lives in my house, rent-free, because she can't be independent due to finances and health status.”
“Do not cosign. Your parents are adults and they need to figure this out for themselves. Further, your focus must be on the life you are building with your fiance. I also had a parent who was financially irresponsible. No matter how much money you give or send, it will always just be a temporary bandaid that never ever solves the real problem of chronic financial mismanagement. There was one rule in life for me and my sister: NO financial dealings with mom. No credit cards, no co-signing, no purc”
“So my grandpa offered to gift my mother a downpayment for a house, because she has been hard stuck pay check to pay check our whole lives, and when he looked at the logistics of doing that, he decided just buying the whole house (50k forgiven), and having her pay him back would be easier since he’s from out of province. They don’t have any kind of lease, just word of mouth, but she hasn’t paid him for the last two years, and absolutely trashed the place. Now the city of after him, and threatenin”
“Recently widowed Mother is retiring at nearly 70 and I found out she has no financial plan for retirement, just a (very large) 401K in TDFs. She very liable to being scammed (recently told me about an annuity plan she was pitched at the library...), so before sending her to a fee-only fiduciary, I wanted to take a crack at it myself using a broadly Bogle-style approach. Obviously more to consider (LTC concerns, inheritance packages, etc). Using my own Monte Carlo approach based on prior market p”
“Hi all--appreciate any guidance. I contribute about 70-80% of my parent's financial support, which I am of course happy to be able to do. They draw SS, and have only trivial other income (less than $5200). They file MFJ. Everything I've read says I cannot claim them as dependent if they MJF, with the caveat that: Y our parent, if married, doesn't file a joint return or files a joint return only to claim a refund of income tax withheld or estimated tax paid . Is the exception to the M”
“Hello, I am 29 and preparing to physically separate from my spouse of five years. We are both high-earning tech professionals in California. Throughout our marriage, my spouse handled all household financial logistics—utility bills, rent, joint accounts, credit cards, and investments—while I simply deposited my paychecks and focused on work. Because of this, I have never managed household finances completely solo, and I need a practical checklist to ensure I protect myself legally and financiall”
“My dad told us all the time that he had us covered if he died. For some reason he took out his life insurance 2 weeks before he had surgery that killed him. He literally had almost nothing after that just a bunch of debt and lots of worthless Iraqi dinars.”
“My parents live off less than that combined on social security. But house is paid off.”
“They could do something simple like withdraw 4 percent a year, invest 50/50 in s&p and Barclays agg, and be fine. It may not be perfectly optimal but it might be perfect for their level of sophistication and expenses”
“Hello friends. I need financial planning help. Brief background: I am 55 years old and I have an 11-year-old daughter on the spectrum. I have no retirement to speak of. Just a few life insurance policies with my daughter as beneficiary. I'm looking for help in terms of planning for my daughter's future. I have already accepted that it is too late for me. It is not too late for my daughter however. I have a 401K with not a lot of money in it as well as a 529 start savings plan for my daug”
“Right now I believe my mom will be gifting all the funds to me, so it doesn't impact future Medicaid eligibility That will impact medicaid eligibility. Are they on social security due to disability (SSI or SSDI) or due to age? Are they collecting under their own work records? Talk to an elder law attorney.”
“You can't regain your independence until you move out. I'd have her call her mortgage company and get a forbearance and start bankrupcy proceedings. That will at least buy her some time. I'm not well off at all, not even a little bit. I at one point was working three jobs to keep everyone afloat. What eventually happened was, after a few years of this, my father died and my mom sold the house at a loss, and we family members co-signed on a lease for an apartment for her. It is what i”
“Hi all, I am hoping I can get some advice on how to improve my financial situation. My family is not very financially responsible and I feel very disadvantaged when talking to peers/coworkers about my situation. I don't know the ins and outs of financial planning, and when they ask questions i basically just waffle or change the subject. A little bit on my background, I am 23 and a recent college grad. I am working in finance in NYC, my salary is 110k and with bonus shld be around 145k pre t”
“I'll try to make this short. My mom and step dad are both on SS and do not work. They are also terrible with money. They need a monthly supplement of 500-700 on top of their SS to get by. They have about 70k inheritance coming there way. They honestly will likely (not to be morbid) need money for 10 years would be my guess based on current health. I am having a tough time deciding for them on no risk 4% ish CD or MM, or index funds. I'm aware of the difference in the two, but have strugg”
“Your mom made a decision to live above her means. She made the decision to live off of credit cards and risk her home. She made the decision not to save for retirement. You need to become financially literate real quick before she drowns you. Save yourself. The Millionaire Next Door”
“Time for mom to sell house, I think. Assuming there is equity, use it to pay off/down her debts and then find housing that will fit her income level - that may even mean having her rent a room somewhere safe if you decide to move on. Tough decisions to make, but definitely a way to clear her debt.”
“My mother who is in her 80's has about about a million in a traditional IRA. She owns a house outright, Her only her assets or income are Social Security and small pension she receives monthly. Is there a good reason for her to do Roth conversions at this point? Are there any drawbacks to doing Roth? Thanks submitted by /u/bwsct [link] [comments]”
“My fiduciary also tells me to spend more and enjoy my life, but I grew up poor and the mentality of fearing the unknown and not having enough is very hard to break.”
“Make a will & Donate some of your assets to good family members in need. Plus to good Causes Organizations. That will do it.”
“Hi all, my 80 yr old father is getting frustrated and confused with his day to day finances. He is frequently scammed and his bank is threatening to drop him. He has zero savings, no assets, and plenty of debt. He is asking for assistance, which is great! But also... Those who have taken over the day to day finances of an elderly relative - how did you keep track of their accounts, bills, etc? What did the hand off process look like? I don't want to control his daily small spending (it is wh”
“My (M58) and my wife’s (F57) parents are in their 80s. My parents have sacrificed throughout their lives and have built a very substantial nest egg with my father’s financial expertise and planning. My wife’s parents have saved very little and rely primarily on social security. In their working years, my wife’s parents took vacations/ trips, ate out often, and maxxed out credit cards. My parents took only the occasional vacation, cooked mostly at home, and have pinched pennies and invested very”
“From the numbers you shared, the question may not be whether your father understands your business. It may be whether your parents should continue to be your business advisers. Those are different questions. You can keep loving them without continuing to discuss cash flow, hiring, and growth with them. Mencius has a sharp line: “Between father and son, one should not press the other to be good. Doing so drives them apart, and nothing is more unfortunate.” When a close relationship turns into a c”
“My older sibling, who went through a divorce a couple of years ago, recently confided in me she is not in a great place financially. For context, I just want to figure out which professionals she should consult to help her make a plan. She is in her late 40's, and went through a divorce a couple of years ago. Per their agreement, she got to live in the house they purchased together for a few years after the split, while he relocated, however that time is up and they will soon be selling the”
“I’m 22 and honestly just looking for advice/options I may not have thought of yet. My mom passed away last month on July 15th. She was the main person financially helping me get through college, and since she passed I’ve been trying to get everything back together and get myself back into school. I’m not trying to make this a pity post at all, just explaining how I ended up here. I have a past-due balance from a previous semester. I was able to take care of another smaller payment that was due (”
“See the above post as a perfect example of what to ignore for financial advice. Your mom needs to sit down with a fiduciary, fee-based financial advisor and get some advice on how to proceed forward.”
“There is no equity and no actual estate. She was 33 and had nothing planned.”
“Disclaimer: I'm very uneducated in finances, my explanations and terminology might be wrong, so bear with me if I say something that doesn't make sense. I can clarify if need be, just let me know. I tried looking up similar situations but I couldn't really follow. So here's the situation. My mom has been working for 27 years to date, she's now 65 years old and she's looking to retire soon and claim her pension. Her pension is about 300K. We've never thought about open”
“I recently moved about 300 km away from my parents for work. They’re both in their 70s, and being that far away has made me think a lot more about what happens when something goes wrong and I can't get there quickly. The biggest worry has been extreme weather. During the last hurricane related outage, I couldn't get through to them for hours. I eventually drove back just to make sure they were okay. Thankfully everything was fine, but I realized how little I could actually do from anothe”
“I am 15. I worked a summer job this year. My parents, who have sort of a gambling problem, ask me for money for bills and gas (things like that), but then they use the money for gambling. Sure, some of the money goes towards bills, but most of it goes straight to the casino. They sometimes spend all day there. Do they think I'm stupid and cannot tell what they are doing? I have no problem helping out with financial stuff. My family really only has one provider, which is my dad. He works a fu”
“Some ppl have budgeting problems and not an earning problem. It’s not pretty but it’s not the end of the world. They can still retire with 500k-1mill plus social security.”
“My mom is currently in another city 5 hours away and has been for the past couple months waiting for a liver transplant. I’ve tried tackling the house but it’s just so overwhelming I make progress but overexert myself. There’s dog urine lingering on the curtains, the couch, cabinets, etc. it’s like it doesn’t matter how much I clean i can’t get it to be clean. It’s like it’s seeped into the foundation. I’ve started all the steps to break my male dog out of the habit and do everything I can to ge”
“I am currently in a healthy situation when it comes to how much I am investing towards my retirement. However, my parents did not have the luxury in doing so while they were young. They both just turned fifty and only have a 401k setup from their employer. At this point, what is their best option in terms of investing. I'm sure not much would change when it comes to basic investing tips other than to steer away from high risk allocations. What type of portfolio should they aim to start? Any”
“Hi everyone, I'm seeking advice from people experienced in international relocation, personal finance, or long-term medical treatment moves to the US. My father has stage 4 metastatic cancer, and we may move to Boston in 3 to 4 months. He'll likely be in a clinical trial, but we will still have major expenses. Our current assets are mostly in land (around5 crore), plus50–60 lakh in liquid investments and 10–20 lakh in cash. We may need to sell some land to fund this journey. I'm not”
“My husband is 52 and I'm 56. We've always only had retirement accounts (mostly Roth 403b accounts but also some traditional IRAs - around 1.5 million). In the last 18 months, both of my parents passed away and left me a little under a million in taxable assets. I wanted to put it all in Vanguard in low-cost funds but my husband felt strongly that we needed someone to manage everything (both taxable and retirement). We signed up with a firm that's getting 1% of all our assets (includi”
“I am a 37 F and married (husband 43), with two children. Our oldest (9) has autism and will require lifelong support from us. So I am trying to overly plan for our retirement, adding in the cost of his living decades after we are gone. We can budget in about 250/month more of monthly expenses and have the following options: invest that monthly into a brokerage accound in S&P etf like VTI and let it grow for decades. of course a little riskier since market is not a sure thing. pay 250/monthly”
“I don’t think anyone really prepares you for the moment when you realise that your parents may eventually need you financially. One day, you are still thinking of them as the people who will always have things handled. Then suddenly you start thinking about their retirement, savings, medical expenses, insurance… and you realise you might be part of their financial plan now. I am genuinely curious when did that reality hit you? Was it always expected in your family, or did something happen that m”
“Aging parents live on first floor we live on second of a duplex. Their only income is social security and won’t get approved for a heloc or home loan on the paid off home. Duplex needs new deck ( main entrance to second floor apartment) and a new septic. Long term we want to take over half their first floor so we have space for our 4 kids. Big renovation moving second floor kitchen and living room to first floor adding stairs going upstairs and redoing the entire second floor. Leaving essentiall”
“If you want to help your parents maybe build a retirement fund since they probably don’t have decades to do so anymore, you could pay half the mortgage, half the utilities, your food including lunch and dinner and all your costs. The least you should do is pay a third of everything, all your food and all your costs like phone, insurance, etc. You are not really helping them. You are paying for living somewhere. Your parents don’t have to pay for you past 18.”
“Yes that’s pretty much it. Take whatever you have saved to that point and buy an annuity. Did this to compare with what waiting provided, and it was more.”
“TLDR: I'm really anxious about sharing this 😭. My Parent's are within the next few weeks going to be go to centrelink to discuss their pension options and today my father told me that they will be making some inquiries about me in relation to my "depression". Here's the thing though I suspect they won't tell them why I'm "depressed" and they'll more than likely mention my mental health. I'll give you a bit of my background: my parent's (inpart”
“I recently took over handling my parents finances and noticed their homeowners insurance is $6.6k a year, their house is on the eastern shore of maryland 2700 sqft on 7.5 acres. For comparison my policy is $1.5k a year for a similarly sized house about an hour away. Is there something I’m not considering that would make their policy 4x as much or are they being ripped off? They’ve been with the same broker for 30+ years, wondering if I should start shopping quotes. submitted by /u/ch”
“In what world do you have a net income of 4k with ‘minimal’ expenses but only manage to invest 500 a month? I hope you are using some of your money to pay off your real estate investments? Just put it all in ETF’s. Based on the limited monthly investment amount I wouldn’t advice you to spend 180k on a ‘summer’ house.”
“Your Dad doesn’t technically “pay your mortgage”. He pays you rent that happens to be equal to your mortgage. There are technically tax implications to that, but nothing the IRS is ever going to care about since it’d mostly be a wash.”
“So is this situation up your alley? or is this the wrong place? If it is up your alley or if you structure these types of deals, I’d like to talk. My parents are in a difficult situation, and I’m trying to help them stabilize without losing the land they’ve worked their whole lives to keep. The investment opportunity is 18.7 acres in Navajo County, Arizona , with a two‑year repurchase option so they can regain ownership once their financial situation improves. My father was recently diagnosed wi”