Adult Children, Inherited Financial Anxiety

“Hi some background information: me: late 30s single ~13M NW, parents: 75 & 80 years old NW a lot more than me My father recently started having some serious heart issues, which has left him stable and feeling relatively healthy, but we (then entire family) worry about his health. His larger concern is long term care for my mother, who had a stroke and does not function very well, if/when he dies long before her. They currently have full time care that stays with them 5-6 days a week. I'v”

“Friend in late 60s and making the most they ever have, I’d estimate mid 80k. Wants to work at least a few more years because of this. Between pension and SS they estimate about 4k per month in retirement. Would like to live comfortably for next 20 or so years, to get a new jeep, and maybe some land and a small house but is realistic about things and knows it may not all be possible. They have no 401k and no IRA and would like to know how best to make use of the next few years on income. Knowing”

This is a fantastic answer.

“Very well put. OP focus on your own self-image, values, and regret minimizing, not so much on whether your dad deserves help. That doesn’t mean you need to help your parents equally, but if you can help your dad some without sacrificing other important priorities that is probably where I’d try to land here in terms of resource allocation.”

“My husband’s job provides us housing and a large chunk of our food expenses. I’m struggling to know how to make the most of our unique situation to set us set up for early retirement and/or for me to go part time when we have our second child. For reference we are 30yo and have a young daughter. Our total income between both of us is about $180k ($60k him $120k me). We were considering buying an Airbnb but decided against it and now have $100k that we were planning on using for a down payment to”

“My parents died young. I wish I could do for them to repay them in some small way for everything they did for me.”

“Yes and no. Long term care policies exist (and the family member has one) but they typically have a max payout amount. Long term care isn't like health insurance where you can just pay some fee every month and get full coverage year after year; it's more like life insurance where you paid a monthly premium until you need the payout but the payout is capped. Most LTC policies have a max cap of $250k-500k lifetime. Helpful for if you are at end-stages of life and so your life expectancy is”

“We are budgeting for the worst case scenario - disabled from an injury or medical event and requiring 24/7 assistance, but the cause of the disability/medical issue isn't going to shorten your life span. This is currently the case with one family member. Because the family member requires the equivalent of skilled nursing care, family member is not eligible for assisted living homes (and SNFs are honestly terrible). We opted for in-home care which runs $600/day for live-in care which is requ”

“I have multiple disabilities. I happened to marry a man who makes decent money. Our income is about 6k a month. However, about half of that is going to my medical expenses alone. I've looked into marketplace insurances but most of them want $1,000 a month for the kind of treatment I need, not including the copays and they also don't cover my $200 a month shot that controls my diabetes either. And they also don't cover certain appointments and medical interventions of mine. While it w”

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“While she is working, maybe convert some of her reg IRA into Roth. When she is no longer working the free interest may help put her mind at ease a little. I switched all mine to Roth back in the 90’s when it first was possible. Game changer.”

“My mom works a 35$ job coding for the past 25 years for the same hospital... im not being left anything because she has nothing. Shes doing her own business as of last year, she made 15k last year. Thats why shes able to help more than she does. But think about it 25 years with nothing to leave your kids... im left on my own when my moms making $35 her self. When she start in the 90' she was making $40 her adictions ruined that life. But now that she quit drinking 3-4 years ago shes still br”

“My mom is just now thinking of retirement. She got a divorced and sold the house. She’s has about 100k cash that’s she’s willing to invest. She’s been asking me what to invest in so that she can head in the right direction for retiring or at least having extra money build interest while still working a part time job or something. I’m only 28 and I’ve only ever invest in Roth IRA as my only investment. I’m not sure a Roth IRA would be worth it for her tho since she’s a lot older. What should I re”

“My parents are going to have a good chunk of money coming in soon, and they'd like to use it to purchase properties to use as a retirement vehicle. They have done a few SFR development projects, and are the landlords for 2 homes near them, so this is not necessarily new for them. The part that makes this unique for myself is that they'd like to invest this money in homes near where I live, and they live about 8 hours away. We have a lower cost of living here, so the money would go a lot”

“So my(25f) and my siblings (26m,24m,19f, and 17f) dad just passed away and we've all been notified that we're all beneficiaries on his life insurance policy with a company called primerica. We went to an appointment tonight to submit the claim paperwork and we were given 3 options on how to receive the payout. 1) a check 2) a settlement 3) put all the money into a Primerica estate account where the representative said it would accrue interest and not be taxed. She also said that we'd”

“6 months of rent ($1600/month) is $9600. Student loans would only be $5K for the same time frame, probably at a lower APR than both your credit card and car payment. Stay at your parents’ house to pay down your debt. Even if you had to pay for her housing outright instead of adding it to the student loan tab, it would be a better choice than spending $9600 on rent for the same time frame.”

“Bad influences would be my guess. I mean if you have to ask reddit if you can afford to move out but have crazy debt they clearly were never taught anything about finances growing up.”

“You could try showing her a compound interest chart. I was like your mother, terrified to spend a single cent after some very tough years while the divorce was grinding along. Once I entered my investments, calculated a reasonable rate of return, corrected for inflation and hit enter …. Boom. I realized I would be fine. This is a good one: https://www.thecalculatorsite.com/finance/calculators/compoundinterestcalculator.php”

“did he have a joint bank account with your mom? If so, get all the statements and you could see if he was getting distributions from the 401k.”

“My parents are getting ready to retire and after looking at their numbers, they can kind of retire 3x. they are thinking to start to gift some to me and my sisters while living but looking for feedback so I said I’ll ask reddit. My parents have 3 million to invest in a brokerage for me and my 2 sisters. they plan to invest it 30% in vti, 20% in voo, 20% in schd, 15% in vxus and 15% in bnd. this will via dividends earn 50k that they plan to give each kid 10k/year and each family 5k for grandkids”

“Hi all! For some background, I am 32 years old and come from a very poor family in a HCOL city (Austin, TX). My parents are are divorced and have both had multiple bankruptcies, both work food service jobs, never owned a house, and never finished high school. I was the first person in my family to go to college and get a professinal career, and I make $64k before tax (which is twice as much as either of my parents have ever made). My #1 goal in life is to be able to retire comfortably, unlike my”

“I live with my parents and we "rent" a house in South Florida (dad works for neighbor, we live in their second house) My parents are in their early 60s and planning to retire within 5-7 years, but its not looking for financially for them. They have about ~$110K in their 401(k) and ~$70K in savings. They only make about $75K annually. They didn't really have much education about personal finances as they are immigrants and weren't really taught a lot of these things... They have”

“I have been reading posts in this thread a while now, never posted. I am 38F, married to 37M with two children, one of which (9 yrs) has complex medical issues and disabilities that will require full care the rest of her life. The other is 6 years old, so we are in the trenches of young caregiving. We have a complex situation obviously, but nonetheless we do have help to allow both of us to work, which is the only way to afford more than survival in 2026. We live in a crappy city in Michigan, so”

“I’ve got sort of a strange situation. My mother-in-law (70) is convinced that she’s nearing the end of her life, we see no evidence of this, but that’s besides the point. My father-in-law has a memory issues and so she has decided to go ahead and give my wife $320K roughly to eventually be split between my wife and her two siblings on her death. The money is in our account and I’m planning to move it to Fidelity money market for now. I want to be a good steward of the money for my wife siblings”

“Yes. Does she enjoy working? Is she someone who needs to be doing things to be happy? What would she do if she didn’t work?”

OP salivating at that juicy inheritance

“Some people have irrational fears. Not a lot of ways around it. I doubt you could turn her into a spender, but maybe talk to her about some activities or trips she might enjoy and encourage her by activity more than money. If you think there are activities or trips you two would enjoy together, maybe start trying to encourage some of those, so she sees that enjoying life is good for her.”

“I work with a lot of clients like her. She should consider sitting down with a financial planner/wealth advisor and putting the numbers on paper where she can see “You can spend $65k a year for the rest of your life and never run out of money.” I see a lot of people with millions that fret over the smallest thing and think they can’t do what they want to do because of a small repair in the grand scheme. When I do goals planning with clients like her, I map out the needs/wants and wishes and then”

“Being recently retired, the thing that surprised me was that we have more money now than two years ago when we retired. There is the mentality about savings and spending that does t easily translate to living off investments. It’s not how we have been trained to think. In my mind I saw a $100k burn rate as just a decrease in our savings. It has been a big mental switch for me. Maybe getting her to see this would be helpful.”

“Outside math, the older you are, less anxious about money. 10m for 60 years old only needs to last 10-20 years but for 40 years old, much longer. That’s why age matters a lot here.”

“Yeah don’t dissolve for mom. As long as she is taken care of through the will there is no reason to change up the trust, and personally I would do all I could to honor the wishes of the deceased. Sounds like he really worked hard to set you all up!”

“Your dad could maybe apply for short term disability or FMLA so he can be paid during his time off.”

“My father doesn't speak English, and doesn't have an education past the 7th grade. My mom is completely disabled, and not very present with us. We have ebt (we don't worry about food, and I'm grateful), and my mother also received $900/month disability income. We've tried reaching out to many resources around here, but they say unless we have an eviction notice or shutoff notices, they can't do anything. I just got off the phone with 2-1-1.”

“Hi everyone. I'm 17 years old (f) and live in Dearborn, Michigan. I've never really made a post like this before, but I'm at a point where I don't know what to do anymore. My mom is severely disabled and can't walk. I've been helping take care of her since I was 11 years old. My dad and I do everything we can for her, but it's exhausting. We've tried getting caregivers multiple times, but they either only come for a short period before the services end or they&#39”

“Recently experienced similar. Sounds like dad thought it out very thoroughly and everything is that way for a reason. With limited knowledge of your situation- you might lose your rights if you dissolve the current trust? Also your sister is not well versed in the legality or taxes on this (I am assuming). It could create a huge taxable event! Your mom is fine and taken care of, your bro will be an issue no matter what and your sister needs to simmer down and trust your dad’s decisions that seem”

“Any help is appreciated submitted by /u/Upper_Shoulder2913 [link] [comments]”

“So my family condition is very bad my father passed away last year my mom is very stressed about the financial condition, We don't even have any place to live we currently reside in relative's which is getting harder as they are getting quite annoyed of us,i scored decently in 10th 74%,I can try more in 12th but I want to know what kind of career whould get me out of this hell of a life Please anyone help out,today my sister and my mother argued with the subject being the 'tane'”

“I have almost all the info I need to do this for/with my mom except my dad's 401K paperwork (1099?) She doesn't know when he last filed taxes for them. He has forgotten (dementia? we don't know) several times and for her own safety reason she can't confront him about it. Neither can I. She gave me their SS and her pension paperwork finally last week. She doesn't think he filed last year either but she doesn't know. I don't know where to start. It's a very straight”

“Our family has never made over 200k, but we are close to the limit. Last year we came the closest, making 198k. But this is still under 200k. The only assets we have are retirement accounts and equity on our primary and only home, which we bought in 2012. Supposedly neither of those are factored into aid considerations. Yet I have run the NPCs on every school claiming "free for families making under 200k" and NOT ONE has offered zero tuition. These colleges and universities are straigh”

“Maybe I'm just being messed up, but if your sister has a lot of control over your mother she might be able to get her to change her will to take advantage of her in preference to all of the other children. Something she can't do with the fathers trust.”

“This is why I suggested the OP give it a year and re-evaluate the question. Make money for one more year, she said her parents are 60 and in good health. Normally 1 more year is a trap, but in this case I think she isn't ready to go, 1 more year for her is probably minimum 2 mill more in investments (compounding plus contributions) and I honestly think she has time. It's not like she's 55 and parents on their deathbeds, everyone here is still relatively young.”

“I'm using round figures here. Rather than try to nail down specifics, I want to get more general insight into this situation. My FIL and MIL are in their late 70s. They are hoping to retire. They started claiming SS on my MIL already. They used to give us cash when we saw them somewhat regularly. I told my wife that we do not need it. I had her open a brokerage and put it in an S&P 500 fund. Right now we have 40k in that fund. My FIL also has another 40k in a savings account. My FIL is n”

“My dad is in his late 70s and was just diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Tomorrow is the family meeting to centralize all our info: doctors, meds, finances, POA, elder law, home safety, all that fun stuff. My son is in his late teens, big and brawny, but not so much that he can stop himself from crying when his "friends" ditch him and leave him out of things, as they have done repeatedly for a few weeks now. I feel totally crushed and useless. Like I am losing my dad and unable to help m”

“My parents both worked since they moved to the US, my father found a job quick and has been working constantly for the majority of his living here. My mother has been job hopping but with little brakes in between since her youngest grew up enough to not need constant supervision. Both parents saved up a livable sum of money for their retirement pension. Then my mother had to leave her job to go take care of her mother-in-law in Ukraine after my uncle died. She made 3, three month long trips befo”

“There are all these guidelines for assets as a function of age such as this one: https://www.thrivent.com/insights/retirement-planning/how-much-money-does-a-couple-need-to-retire-comfortably Is it the experience of folks whose assets:income ratio is growing with time (I.e., as you get closer to FI) , that you progressively become more confident in your job. Mine is a case like this: our HHI is around $400k, our investment portfolio (stocks, bonds, cash) is now $4.15M, and home equity is around $”

“Add in any retirement funding that was needed until you reach FRA. Not many families plan on retiring on only SS (FRA).”

“I want to retire at 62 (~4 years out), buy a used Porsche (~$100k), and tour the country (U.S.) while my spouse works until her own retirement at 62 (that's her choice, she'll probably work longer because she thinks we'll never have enough). She is not a spender, likely will retire and watch TV. Please give your assessments on my situation and the feasibility of my plan. Income: Me: ~$190k salary (I work at a startup and further funding is questionable right now) Spouse: ~$45k Combin”

“Recent events have reminded me of the old adage: "when it rains, it pours." Car died, landscaping bills due, dishwasher died, chair died. On and on, actually, in the space of a couple of months. My retirement income is covered by guaranteed sources and modest tsp/401k withdrawals, but still: extra cash in money market or HYSA is necessary from time to time. I'm still working out the most comfortable amount, but it's looking like anywhere from $35k to $50k, which allows me to pu”

“I work part time as a graphic designer because I am primary caregiver for my elderly mom who requires about 20 hours a week of my time helping her. In the last 9 years I've averaged about $9,000 a year. I haven't paid my taxes in this time and am catching up on this now. I have about $10,000 in cash and $40,000 in stocks/crypto. I'm wondering if I sound like a candidate for an Offer in Compromise? I believe I have to file first before I find out if I qualify, but I see different thin”

“but she had enough medical costs to take her taxes down to owing $0 How? (if you don't mind saying)”

“Hey! I was reaching out to see if anyone had recommendations for my situation. My father is sick with what most assumed is cancer or a terminal illness (he refuses to go to the doctor and appears to be in declining health, the last time I saw him). When he was working, he was injured (and to save some sentences) was awarded a large personal injury settlement. His situation: never married, no debt, and I’m the only child, he has no will. He’s recently reached out to me, to give me 150 thousand fo”

“This is not something that I should think about just yet (I'm 28, no kids), but the thought of my future children or grandchildren mishandling their inheritance is haunting me. I grew up in a family that had very poor money management skills. Pretty much all my family members are living paycheck to paycheck, with no savings whatsoever. I am probably the first one in my family to have any financial literacy, having built up a safety net, not having to worry about any unexpected expenses at al”

“Picking up a gambling addiction after retiring is the perfect way to stay poor. Tell him he either gives you access to all of his financials via power of attorney or you walk away. Its that simple. He cant be trusted. Sorry youre going through this.”

“so recently my dad has been fussing consistently about faceless content to make passive income i told him its not some quick way to success but he doesnt believe mw and that im 17 i shouldnt question him so now im on reddit asking for help, is it possible or not? or is it completely luck based and how much time would i need to put into it while employed submitted by /u/mepilexs [link] [comments]”

“A treasury ladder hits both their goals. Build the rungs out over several months with maturities staggered so you have something rolling monthly. You get steady income, capital preservation, and long-term you stop trying to time anything. Straightforward and right for their stage.”

“Can't reason a person out of a position they didn't reason themselves into in the first place.”

“Hi sorry if this sounds dumb but what do you mean by like needed family support for it?”

“At some point, speak to an estate attorney. Most will talk to you free. If you have brothers or sisters, you’re gonna need their support now. Anticipatory grief is a real thing, make sure you concentrate on self care Spend time with your dad.”

“My dad technically has no assets outside of a few materialistic items in the place he rents. He’s currently in the ICU and unconscious and I was never able to convince him to make a will. Not sure if he will be waking up. No car, no home, no retirement, very low numbers in the checking account. Is there something else I should be thinking about? He has credit card debt.. thats about it. I actually found out he submitted multiple debt payments today and it made me feel kind of bummed out. Why cou”