Dads Dealing with Kid Chaos

“My daughter is 7 months now and she farts so much and it's hilarious. She even sleeps with her butt in the air and farts in her sleep. Is there such thing as too much farts? She poops 1-4 times a day and has started solid foods about 2,5 months ago and now that mom's back studying and I'm on paternal leave she drinks more formula than breastmilk. submitted by /u/usernameistaken274 [link] [comments]”

“Curious if other dads have dealt with this around kindergarten age. Our daughter has always been a huge rule follower. Like, the kid who points out when someone litters or isn’t following a rule that the rest of us probably wouldn’t even notice. She’s rarely ever in trouble and generally takes rules pretty seriously. But since starting kindergarten, we’ve noticed she’s making stuff up a lot more. Not really huge elaborate lies, but she’ll tell us something happened or that someone said something”

“Mine was a $4 bag of frozen dumplings. Like objectively bad dumplings, the kind that are mostly cabbage. But when the baby was screaming at 3am and my wife was crying in the rocking chair, I would microwave six of those things and eat them standing at the counter and somehow that was the one part of the day that felt like mine. A garbage snack and two minutes of standing in the dark. Not trying to be cute about it, the first months were genuinely awful and no snack fixes sleep deprivation. But I”

“am i the only one who thinks everything my husband does while the baby is sleeping is the loudest thing?? and seems purposeful?? i know logically that this is not actually the case but i cringe at everything he does cause it just sounds soooo loud after i spent an hour putting the baby to bed lol tell me im not the only one submitted by /u/dumb-baby- [link] [comments]”

“She said she was “all full” after barely eating her lunch. I said, she wasn’t awful, that she was great, but she just needed to finish her lunch. What are some other classics that feel like major accomplishments when you check them off the list? submitted by /u/joshstrummer [link] [comments]”

“Just put the kids to be after an eventful evening. My wife was feeding our 5 month old when she yelled to me frantically. Our 2 year old was eating dinner and shoved a piece of corn up her nose. I looked up there and could see the kernel all the way up there. Shit just got real. Wife is freaking, kid is now freaking because wife is freaking. I summoned all the dad-chill-emergency energy I can. I told her this will feel funny but everything will be okay. I first tried closing her mouth with my ha”

“Hi, I'm a second time single trans dad by choice having a nervous breakdown. Both my children were EBF but my now 16yo had pasty poops and she ever only had like 2 blowouts. Well, this new baby clearly has a different gut microbiome. 3 or 4 times a day when I'm going to change her diaper she explosively fires ropes of liquid poop on me, the changing mat, the table, the floor... I've tried the wet wipe thing but it doesn't work. What triggers her is me wiping her buttcrack specifi”

“Hey Dads, TLDR: 9months old kid probably a happy wheezer, but because I had asthma as a kid, I'm scared to the bones. Please say some advice or something comforting, if your kid had the same. I really need some advice/support. We have an almost 9 months old kiddo, happy as a clam. Of course we have the usual issues teething, gassing, etc. However Friday the kid turned it up a notch and after an afternoon walk with my wife, he developed some wheezing and scared the hell out of us. Went to the”

“My 3yo daughter just ripped her water bottle out of my hand and said “yoink!” I’ve never been so proud. submitted by /u/Witty_Username_28 [link] [comments]”

“My child can’t stop saying “mahna mahna”, and it’s driving my wife crazy. submitted by /u/joshstrummer [link] [comments]”

“Got upgraded to Dad status four days ago! What I was unprepared for: • Amount of time spent burping • The SMELL of the constant toots • Constant judgement/side-eye from the dog every time there’s a whimper • Loss of all ability to tell time (other than time for baby to eat) • Time spent researching “newborn is doing/not doing xyz” This little man is easily the best thing I’ve ever done in my life (in case my wife sees this: you’re also the best 😅) Excited to be on this journey nevertheless!! &#”

“My 2 year old daughter continues to amaze and disgust me Last week she was sick and threw up. She looked at me and sadly said “I burp and I spill it” Today she had diarrhea, just before her stomach growled. She said “I burp and I splash” She’s so creative and so gross. submitted by /u/aggierogue3 [link] [comments]”

“Title basically, currently trying to convince the little guy to allow a cold compress against his bonk. submitted by /u/yolef [link] [comments]”

“For the past month my daughter has been calling me by my name, it threw me off when I first heard it haha It’s pretty cute but I wouldn’t mind being called dada again lol, is there a reason behind this ? submitted by /u/PapaJakey5060 [link] [comments]”

“Does anyone else call out “Dad Tax!” And take bites of food? Like when you open cheese string and take a dad tax for opening it submitted by /u/moelszy [link] [comments]”

“If your kiddo constantly squeezes the juice box as you're handing it off to them and spraying themselves, try this Pinch the straw closed, that's it.. catastrophe and shirt change avoided submitted by /u/lookslikesheldon [link] [comments]”

“My plate for reference.... They specifically asked for Mario Mac and cheese.... submitted by /u/horrus70 [link] [comments]”

“Head you eat your meatballs, tails you eat your veggies ! Sometimes you gotta love being a dad ! submitted by /u/Nidhal_S [link] [comments]”

“(And do you feel guilty about it?) I'm so tired of the endless rotation of beige carbs and the battle to consume vegetables. What are your hacks, horror stories and sources of inspo? submitted by /u/sanbikinoraion [link] [comments]”

“What's the correct strategy here? I knew this day would come but it kind of snuck up on me. Like I mentioned, the guy didn't say a single word until 2 and a half but now he's picking up on new things every day and this was, unfortunately, today's phrase of the day. He understands the concept of no, but I don't think he'd fully understand the idea of a bad word that we don't say. Any advice is appreciated! submitted by /u/webrender [link] [comments]”

“Happy Dad of three (6yoB, 4yoB, 2yoG, and one on the way (pray for me)). Today it was daddy daughter time cause boys are at school and mom is at ultrasound. Daughter has created a new form of passive protest. At least for my experience, she has her plate full of her favorite food. But just not eating, she knows she gets a popsicle after she eats (and she wants it). But every time I remind her to eat she just responds with “okay daddy” and does anything but eat. Not fussy, not sick not anything o”

“Alright fellow dads/parents, I’m enlisting your help, advice, ideas, anything…on nipping potty talk in the rear (pun intended). I can appreciate potty humor, and in fact, I do find it hilarious, but even I’m at my wits end with it. Context: our middle kiddo (4b) is constantly saying inappropriate potty talk in pretty much all settings, and of course, he gets a reaction from his older brother (7), and then the youngest (2g) sees the reactions and chimes in. It is constant. We’ve tried redirecting”

“First time dad here. My almost 2 year old son has officially discovered his boy parts. We can’t keep his hands off them. It’s starting to become a problem at daycare and home. Any advice to keep him from messing with them all day ? submitted by /u/MaterialTraditional3 [link] [comments]”

“My wife and I are at a restaurant with our two and a half year old, and as we're trying to leave somebody with their toddler starts to converse with us. Right off the bat it's questions like how extensive is his vocabulary, oh does he know his birthday well she knows her birthday the day and the month. Etc etc. I can sit there and have my kid memorize things and parrot them back, but that's not learning, I digress. How do you all navigate situations like this? I live in an area where”

“Genuinely this is my favorite little human feature. She’s 3 months and her farts are so loud I can’t help but to laugh or be caught off guard every time 😭 submitted by /u/princessp0ots [link] [comments]”

“This morning my daughter climbed up on the couch and announced the the room, "This smells like Daddy's farts, what the heck?!" submitted by /u/Mister_Crust [link] [comments]”

“Hi dads, I and my spouse are heading to the hospital to undergo induced labor. As a soon-to-be dad, what advice can I heed from y'all? Thank you. Responses might be delayed, but please know I thank y'all from the bottom of my heart. submitted by /u/rhett21 [link] [comments]”

“Hi all, just looking for opinions. My son started daycare yesterday at the same school he’s been in for the past year. His dad picked him up and when they came home, he mentioned to me that our son needed to be cleaned. He was wearing some light cargo shorts and I guess he had some watery poop and it was showing through. However, the poop had dried and crusted in his underwear. My son told me that it happened during nap time and he hadn’t peed since then because he didn’t want the poop to fall o”

“Genuine question, because my kid is eating the same as me, but utterly outclassing me in the toilet. That kid does high-quality shits, and forgets to flush EVERY time. This post almost started out as a joke, but then i started to think about it... ...and the more i think about it, the more i realize that my poos arent remotely as good, even compared to my own past experience. Hell, if i compare my own current state to myself 5 years ago, i'd say its gone downhill. I've been chalking it u”

“I posted on Reddit last night about my stepdaughter (12) growing up to be very entitled. (Over orders food, not in my previous post but she would ask for something and say, “It’s only $100,” made a comment when we were talking about Italy that we should’ve taken her there while making faces (we do take on her international trips but I just didn’t like that she feels entitled to it), her dad got her a VR when she was 9, made a comment that it’s weird that most of the items that were bought when w”

“Need some help Dads. Son just started wearing underwear. Pees in the potty great. Pooping on the potty seems to be the current hurdle. Advice? Suggestions? We have a timer to ask him if he needs to go poop and then if he wants to sit on the toilet, but he seems to be avoiding the poop during those times. submitted by /u/SAL10000 [link] [comments]”

“Edit: Long time lurker, first time poster. Please be kind. This happened when I was maybe 6-9 months into being a dad. My wife, kid, and I were at a mall playspace. I’m trying to be present with my kiddo instead of on my phone. Here’s the situation: I’m down on the ground, on my back, with my kid raised up in the air tossing them. Both of my hands are occupied with my kid. A little girl that had been trying to play with my kid earlier comes over and hops on top of me and starts bouncing up and d”

“I made a string of corny Dad jokes, and my 8 year old said "Daddy stop making me laugh, I'm gonna poop my pants." submitted by /u/campingcritters [link] [comments]”

“…and that I’ll be sad when he stops. Chotlick - chocolate Rabiolbi- ravioli Bonen arrow - bow and arrow Lompster - lobster submitted by /u/_SpiceWeasel_BAM [link] [comments]”

“Just curious if anyone else what anyone else's experience has been who's had a kid transition young. My preschool aged AFAB has basically completely committed to being a boy. A couple months ago they asked to cut their hair cut short (like Dada's) and for the next few days they were constantly admiring it in the mirror, and wanting to show it off to feiends. Then a month later asked to cut it even shorter and they're rocking it. They've asked for a completely new wardrobe and”

“Just curious how you mess with your kids? If my oldest asks me "what's for dinner?" After I already told him. I usually reply with the following. Dogs, cats, rocks, soap, etc. If he asks "where are we going" after I already told him. I usually reply with "the moon", "your mom's house", "nowhere, I just like sitting in the car" etc. submitted by /u/horrus70 [link] [comments]”

“My 5 year old is picky sometimes. Tonight I made meatball subs for dinner and she said “this is the most disgusting dinner ever”. How would you handle that? submitted by /u/No_Try1999 [link] [comments]”

“My 3yo is a good eater! She and her brother have always had big appetites and they aren’t SUPER picky (pretty good for being young kids IMO) **New thing my daughter has been doing and we’re trying to put an end to it bc I’m going to be going back to school & her grandparents are going to start watching her. If anyone has advice I’d love recommendations She’s taking AGES to eat her food. I’ve started putting a timer in front of her that counts down (iPhone timer that shows orange circle) so s”

“On today's episode of "today's tantrum", my toddler wants the toaster to pop out toast the whole day. Thanks for turning in. PS: help. submitted by /u/AgitatorAnimator [link] [comments]”

“My husband and I are religious and we pray before every meal. We used to do this silently/individually but now that we have a kid, have been taking turns praying aloud as we want to set the example. This came about pretty naturally (for us) since our daughter started solids while we were staying with my grandmother for a few months and shes always said a prayer (outloud) before dinner. But our daughter (10.5mo) screams the whole time during the prayer. Shes been doing this since 5mo. At first we”

“Good day fellow dads. I’m the dad of a wonderful 4-year-old boy. My lovely wife has brought to my attention that when I speak with intensity about something (this can range from humorous to irritation), even if it’s not directed at my son or at my wife, it causes my kid to react negatively. It doesn’t seem to work the same way when my wife reacts but it doesn’t matter, I set out to do what I have to do. I’ve lately been working on tempering all my reactions and regulating my emotions as much as”

“If there are any dads still wondering “My kid isn’t a baby anymore, do I still need to bring a bag everywhere we go?” My 4yo has regressed and peed their pants 3 times and spilled apple sauce on their clothes this week out in public. And there I was with no extra clothes or a way to wipe up their mess. Keep the bag. The bag is good. submitted by /u/alexadr936 [link] [comments]”

“Bros, Anyone else here completely PUMPED to be going to the family friendly restaurants again? Took our daughter out to Red Robin (BC, Canada here). I hadn’t been for 20 years. Crushing a beer and whiskey river bbq burger while my daughter smashed her way through steamed broccoli and chicken fingers made my entire week. Who else is hitting the kid friendly spots? What’s your fave? submitted by /u/vagmaster420 [link] [comments]”

“I just begged and cried as my daughter’s banana, pleading not to be eaten and chewed up. I even muffled the voice/screams as she chomped down on it. After a few bites, it wept for a merciful death, which she granted. It had a family once, who are probably looking for their missing member. So what voices are you lending to stuff around the house for your children amusement? submitted by /u/bruzdnconfuzd [link] [comments]”

“My 6 yo daughter said, matter-of-factly excusing herself from dinner. It was followed by "IT WAS A POOP!" a few minutes later. I'm so proud! submitted by /u/jongscx [link] [comments]”

“My daughter refused to eat her chicken breast or wing at dinner, but demanded more of the risotto. At bed time, she was whining about wanting pudding. Cue up my dad-humor immediately: “HOW CAN YOU HAVE YOUR PUDDING IF YOU DON’T EAT YOUR MEAT!?” After a couple repetitions, my wife’s only comment was “I know you’re referring to something, but I don’t know what.” submitted by /u/Stu5011 [link] [comments]”

“Hi all, I'm now encountering a problem many of you have faced many times - kids faking sickness. I would appreciate any life philosophy or tricks you might have surrounding this whole issue. I'll admit that as a child I sometimes faked illness to avoid school. I was bored and particularly hated geography class, so I tried to avoid it as much as possible. So I get why and how kids do it. My current problem is that my daughter is 3.5 years old, and also on summer vacation. I'm pretty s”

submitted by /u/Illustrious-Bunch535 [link] [comments]

“My kids were asking for snacks and I said no because it was lunch time. My daughter came in with a, "But Daaaaad!" and I responded, "HEY! My name's not Butt Dad." So, now I'm known as Butt Dad for the foreseeable future. submitted by /u/OwlfaceFrank [link] [comments]”

“Just trying to see if there’s a baseline. We have two boys, 8 and 6. They get along alright but inevitably multiple times a day you’ll hear a shriek and sure enough they’re going at it. I have 3 brothers and I remember fighting with them as kids but I can’t quite remember how frequent it was. submitted by /u/spokomptonjdub [link] [comments]”

“Fellow Dads, I come to you all with a pang of shame. My house looks as though someone has detonated miniature bombs. The floor is a minefield of food, the laundry baskets fill the second they are emptied, workstations are buried, our kitchen - a war zone of clutter and mess. Baby items needed to be donated or returned piling, our bedroom - now nearly unsalvageable and in constant disarray. Is this normal? How do you all manage to keep such clean homes? EDIT: Wow! The responses have been unreal.”

“Someone else shitting is the best thing that's happened to you all year A 4 year old's constipation is not to be taken lightly. submitted by /u/spastichabits [link] [comments]”

“Dads, how would you have reacted here and could you have paused yourself between stimulus and reaction? I’m on a ferry today with my three kids, 10/8/5. They all want cup of noodles. I get them each one. We sit down at a table. Then 10 decides to get up and move to a completely different spot on the ferry even though I told her not to. I said the same thing to 8, told her that the cup of noodles would spill and she needed to stay at the table. She immediately got up to follow 10 and spilled all”

“I was at the hibachi restaurant with my 11 yo daughter. The server asks me if I’d like the soup or salad with my teriyaki steak and I looked her back dead in the eye and asked “what’s a super salad?” Server got confused, daughter groaned out loud, and I had a special ‘dad embarrassing his daughter moment’ Been riding that high since yesterday. submitted by /u/MisterPhip [link] [comments]”

“I have never been much of a burper and definitely not a belcher, so I don't know how much one can control the volume of a burp. Obviously, if there's excess air in there it needs to come out, but does he have to do it so loudly? I get it, belching is funny, but not at the table and definitely not in a restaurant. submitted by /u/ThanklessThagomizer [link] [comments]”

“First off want to thank you all so much for your thoughts and words of wisdom; really awesome community. As we approach our due date with possible induction any day now, I’m torn between some moments of “Ok lets do this and get going” and many others of “Woah this is way too real now” panic. My fear is that I’ll be taken off guard when it happens and be overwhelmed physically by anxiety; so I have times where I’m doing other normal life stuff now and have a moment of freaking out like “What if i”

“Hello friends. So I have a pretty full beard. I keep the sides short but I let the chin grow. My boy is 7 months old. He likes to play with the chin part. Grabs it almost as if it’s a stress ball at times lol. Other times just grabs it and pulls. He likes it. So I feel guilty even doing this, but I work in a steel mill. It’s incredibly hot these days as is, but especially so while working. Every bit of relief helps. So I was thinking about shaving my beard and just keeping a stache. Have any of”