Dog Owners Navigate Life Transitions

“hi everyone, i have been really hesitant to make this post so please be kind. i have already been beating myself up for my choices and naivety and i wish things were different. i am a first time dog owner and adopted my dog (3 y/o, just under 20lbs, mixed breed - possibly terrier, doodle mix?) over a month ago now. since then i have been feeling very conflicted on whether or not this is sustainable long term. the shelter i adopted him from does require that i return him there if things don’t wor”

“hey everyone! a few months ago, i made a post about how scared i was of working on my adopted dog’s reactivity. i was going through some pretty intense puppy blues, imagining every possible worst-case scenario, and honestly, i think i needed a behaviorist just as much as my dog did. back then, i was afraid i wouldn’t be able to handle it all mentally. i was scared that no matter how hard we tried, things might never get better, and that i’d eventually find myself unable to cope with a situation”

“Hi everyone. I'm writing this with tears in my eyes after my sheltie puppy had another really bad reaction to a dog today. Having a dog again has always been a dream of mine, something I've worked towards for years. And now it's making me miserable. I got my puppy at 3 months old, and just two days after bringing her home, she was already showing reactivity towards other dogs. She's 5 months old now. We've been working on it since a week after she arrived, both in puppy class”

“We've had our 7-year-old pup for 6 years now. It took probably 3 of those years to get our lives settled. We originally lived in a high traffic city neighborhood that made walks impossible. She is now able to deal with passing people usually, but dogs remain an immediate explosion trigger. It made us absolutely miserable, so we moved to a quiet area with a small yard for her. Everything improved. We had a great, understanding vet and boarding place. We climbed the mountain. Well last month w”

“On Tuesday we sadly had to say goodbye to our beautiful 12-year-old Collie x Lab, Prim. I'd had her since she was one and she was honestly my best mate and shadow. She came everywhere with us, work, kayaking, camping, hiking, you name it. She was incredibly loyal, affectionate, intelligent and adventurous, but equally the most chilled-out dog at home. We called her our soul pup. Everything happened so quickly. She'd been gradually struggling with her back legs, but on Tuesday morning she”

“I feel awful even saying this because I do love my dog, but sometimes I wish I had a different kind of dog. A calmer dog. The kind of dog that seems to naturally fit into family life without everything having to be so complicated. Like the dogs I had growing up. I have a five-month-old baby, and one of the things I’ve found surprisingly hard about becoming a parent is realizing that the relationship I hoped my baby would have with our dog is most likely not going to look the way I imagined. I se”

“This is a long one. I’m UK based and got my Romanian rescue with my partner in May 2025, when he was around 6 months old. He’s a beautiful black mix with a white chest patch, around 23kg. He kinda looks like a mix between a lab, and german shepherd. I suspect he may have been over-socialised in the Romanian kennels, as he absolutely LOVES other dogs and struggles with frustration when he can’t get to them. For the past year and a half, we’ve worked on his training every single day, sharing the l”

“My husband just started a new job as a therapist for a prison and now we’re having to leave our two dogs home alone. One is older and is used to being home alone but our younger one (2 year old Great Pyrenees german shepherd mix) is used to going into the office with him as she’s done that 3 days a week since we got her at 3 months old. 1 day a week she would go to doggy daycare and Fridays he was working from home. She is very attached to my husband. Thankfully my work is close to home so I’ve”

“I’m honestly at a loss, and I’m hoping someone here has been through something similar and can offer some advice. I got my dog about four years ago. She’s a mixed breed, part Whippet and part Husky, and unfortunately, she was taken away from her mother at only 6 weeks old instead of the recommended 8 weeks. This wasn’t my decision; the breeder was giving the puppies away early, seemingly just to make money. She is genuinely one of the most loving dogs I’ve ever met. She’s incredibly sweet and mo”

“tldr: dog has morning routine that doesn’t include baby and i leave baby in bedroom until dog is all settled my husband and i got a puppy when i was around 4 months pregnant after we just bought a new house. everyone advised us against it, but we have never gone without a dog or pets in the house, and we both decided that it would help our mental health. however… this dog has been the death of us and is a lot higher needs than we thought he would be and has been a complete menace ever since. now”

“Roo has been with me since my first husband and I tragically lost our papillon at 1 year old in a freak accident in 2011. When we got Roo from the shelter he was the light of our lives. Everyone who has ever met Roo has adored him. He’s a King Charles Cavalier/Chihuahua mix who started experiencing heart failure about a year and a half ago. After talking to our vet about the side effects of prescription medications, we opted to try a holistic medication instead that seemed to be gentler on the k”

“I adopted my now almost 6 month old terrier mix when he was 8 weeks old. We're in the midst of teething right now, so behavior is extra exhausting. I don't regret getting a dog, I wanted one because I switched from an in-office job to remote work and I needed motivation to get out of the house. BUT. My husband and I have two cats, one I've had for 6.5 years, the other for 3.5 years. And I feel like I almost never see them anymore. They only come out when the puppy is in his crate, an”

“Pup turned 1 year old today (yay!)…. But honestly we’re not really getting on at the moment. I’ve spent literally thousands on this dog. Paid money to three in person trainers. Purchased an online training program. I’ve tried every enrichment under the sun. We’ve crate trained, done the relaxation protocol, engage disengage, shaping, capturing, luring… I’ve learnt more about dog training in the last 10 months than I ever thought possible. About operant vs classical conditioning. About the four q”

“I’ve been lurking here for a while, and these stories have provided me with so much support over the years. Since my reactive dog story has come to an end, I’m ready to share mine. It’s a long read if you’re in the mood. This is a difficult topic. Some people see reactivity as a training failure and view BE as inhumanely giving up. But these stories are so much more complex and nuanced. Thank you to everyone who has shared and made me feel less alone. I adopted my dog 8 years ago with my now hus”

“I had to put my dog 15 year old dog down in July and I knew I wanted another dog because I have so much love to give and am a single 40 something year old that knew i wanted another companion. Fast forward to 3 days in with my 9 week old mini bernedoodle and I am feeling all the feels. Puppy blues, happy, sad, exhausted, did I do the right thing? I constantly question myself and my decision. I am by no means comparing, but I forgot how difficult a puppy can be and I can’t step away for 2 minutes”

“Please be kind, I am struggling with this, and apologies for lengthy post. 16 months ago I adopted a rescue Shih Tzu. She was blind and had been dumped, and I have experience with blind pets. Discovered she was additionally almost completely deaf (very loud high pitched sounds only) and had a very bad case of seborrhea. Weekly baths got the seborrhea eventually under control until recently. She was never really affectionate - she would accept cuddles but didn’t seek to be close to me or my other”

“I had to say goodbye to my beloved senior rescue dog last week. After loving him and loving him for 4.5 years, I had to accept that my love was not enough to protect him from his increasing pain and fears, despite his good days and good mornings. I wanted to share the note that I sent to one of his vet techs after his very peaceful and compassionate final visit. I know how hard it was for me to process my feelings into words, and wanted to provide some language for others who may feel the same.”

“We put her down 8 months ago now. At the time my son was 2, I told her she went to a farm 😬 He didn’t say anything about her for months, didn’t ask about her at all. I was surprised, thought he forgot about her. Recently he’s been talking about her, saying his dogs name is Bailey and that she went to a farm. He even asked my husband if he likes Bailey. I want to cry every time it happens. I feel like maybe I should’ve explained death even though I didn’t think he’d understand. Do I tell him now”

“I'm currently pregnant, and I've seen several TikToks about "pet regression" and people suddenly feeling annoyed by or even starting to resent their pets after having a baby. This is something I'm genuinely scared of. My dog is my everything, animals are one of my biggest interests and I can't imagine suddenly feeling differently about her just because I have a baby. One of the things I'm most looking forward to is my child growing up with my dog and hopefu”

“I'm currently pregnant, and I've seen several TikToks about "pet regression" and people suddenly feeling annoyed by or even starting to resent their pets after having a baby. This is something I'm genuinely scared of. My dog is my everything, animals are one of my biggest interests and I can't imagine suddenly feeling differently about her just because I have a baby. One of the things I'm most looking forward to is my child growing up with my dog and hopefu”

“While I would not call this a success story, it is a small win and I'm so so so happy and needed to celebrate it with people I knew would understand! I rescued my dog five months ago. We've worked through dog-reactivity quite successfully but have struggled more with visitor's reactivity in the house. He does great with people outside, but barks and lunges at anyone coming into the house, even if it's someone he's met before many times. He's a big dog, so it's scary.”

“My ex husband and I got our first dog 8 years ago and he was very attached to him so when he left abruptly to never return it did get him down. That was a year ago and it feels like he’s gotten worse behavior wise. He never learned how to walk on a leash or recall ( I paid over 3,500$ for multiple trainers and even got a refund at one point bc he just doesn’t listen) he’s a mutt from the shelter so it’s not like we knew it would be this bad and I’ve tried it all. I’ve tried to get him used to kn”

“TLDR: Boyfriends daughter has been with the mom for almost the entirety of our 5 month relationship. My dog (5.5 pitty black lab, adopted when he was \~2) and I have spent 50% of our time at my boyfriend's house, who has a dog (1 year old callaloun leopard/husky/gs mix). His dog loves my dog and my dog likes his dog 75% until he gets tired and needs to tell the puppy that its break time. My dog is fearful of new people particularly in his territory, but has been on fluxetine and training cla”

“I’ve recently started thinking of BE. My shepherd is turning 7 this year. It’s been the hardest 7 years but also so many great times. He is sometimes the best dog and sometimes the worst, at the end of the day is part of our family and everyone that knows him well loves him he’s just special dog. But. He is troubled with anxiety has a long history of bites. One so severe I could never consider rehoming him it would be irresponsible. He’s lucky we haven’t gotten in more trouble or forced to put h”

“So around 2 months ago, I moved in with my partner and their 3yo dog. To preface this vent, he is a very good boy 90% of the time and awesome in the house/untriggered. I feel it’s also important to mention that all my previous dogs I got as puppies, and thanks to my father who has quite a bit of dog training experience which he’s passed onto me, they’ve all been very solid citizens with no/very limited reactivity. Now moving in together I knew that the dog was going to have some issues (terrible”

“We lost our dog at 9 years old to cancer and my husband and I thought we wouldn't want another dog at the minimum a year. But I felt such a hole. I tried distracting myself with home improvement projects and my kids and I were really bonding. But I still felt like something was missing. So eventually I managed to convince my husband that we needed to get a puppy, especially for our kids (my 2 1/2 year old really struggled with our dog's death). We adopted a Cattle dog mix puppy (I wanted”

“Working with a balanced trainer and its been incredible, our dog is now off leash trained.. Most of the issues we had seem behind us and I really can credit it to the e collar but... Just feel like crap using it, I am freshly postpartum so maybe that doesn't help. Today he almost knocked me over running to an open gate so I used the e collar (perhaps too high) and it caused him to stop, whimper and run back to me (I was yelling " come! " ) so on paper It did work. He seemed scared.”

“I'm so so grateful for her otherwise I wouldn't of been able to go away for the week. He's so relaxed ! She's taken so much time and effort into gaining a relationship and his trust so she can enter our house submitted by /u/DesignerImpact2000 [link] [comments]”

“Honestly I’ve had puppy blues almost every day since getting our puppy and we only got her last Saturday. 😂I guess I overestimated how hard it would be, it makes me miss my soul dog who passed last year that was the easiest boy ever to raise. Anyways she’s a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and I know it’ll be worth it in the end with her. We have a VERY long ways to go BUT have to celebrate a win! It is our first day accident free! submitted by /u/Impossible_Hat_9648 [link] [com”

“I love my dog, I feel after all the things I've been through in my life a little ball of joy is healing my heart. My buddy is seriously helping me heal. I really enjoy letting him sleep on the bed at my feet it makes me feel secure because I know if anything would happen he would let me know so I can rest my mind and find true peace with him at my side. I love caring for my dog and play time with him is a joy. I feel lucky that he chooses me as his favorite person in the house. Always at my”

“So my partner of over 10 years decided to break up with me. Yeah. We got a puppy a few months ago, she's 6 months now. Border collie. She's barky and starting her teenage fuck you phase. She hates walking on leash which was not really a problem until now, because we had a property next to a big field and she could run around just with a long line dragging behind her. I've never lived in a flat and the idea of having her barking constantly terrifies me. She reacts to all the sounds. I”

“Just got a call from my vet updating me that my families 10 year old chihuahua has stage 3 moderate kidney disease. I’m shocked and blaming myself. Our dog lives with my mom and my mom has been feeding her home made food for 3-4 years, I recently found out that there are many vitamins and minerals that are missing in homemade dog food and we started adding egg shell powder and senior vitamins to her diet, but it’s making me think if the home made food caused it. I guess I’m especially sad about”

“We’ve had our beagle mix since he was a puppy, he is 7 now. We never properly trained him when we first got him. We lived with other people who didn’t abide by what we’d say, or would have multiple people trying to “teach or act like a master” which all in all made it very difficult to do so, and so we never did. He was always a good boy but a little crazy, nothing bad though. I always cut his nails at home, and one time I accidentally cut too far and he bled and ever since that nail trim he beg”

“Idk how to word the title. I rescued my dog 2 years ago. Her personality pretty much settled after 8-12 months, great dog. She overheats, so she doesn’t cuddle ever really. She nudges for extra treats/pets and begs for walks. For the last month, I have had more stress- a little withdrawn. It’s manageable and will ease with time, I have a strong sense of community and outlets. However, it’s changed the dynamic between me and my dog. Her appetite is great, but she doesn’t beg for treats/pets or wa”

“I adopted a very large half GSD/half St Bernard just over a year ago. She’s an absolutely delight at home but incredibly dysregulated outside of the house. Everything from biting car windows to nil leash experience and reactivity with other dogs and things like motorcycles. We’ve worked with her every day, we’ve worked with trainers, she’s on meds. She’s made progress in very specific managed scenarios (doing leash work in fences areas like a basketball court, or playing off lead with one specif”

“I have a 2.5 year old very active mutt pup. I am a teacher and was home with her all day all summer. I have recently gone back to work and she has been SOOO sad. She doesn’t want to eat her breakfast when she realizes it’s a school day. She pouts and gives me the saddest puppy eyes. I have a walker come midday, but we recently moved and my dog doesn’t really trust her yet (she’s a nervous dog). She’ll go outside and go potty and maybe play a little fetch, but won’t let the walker leash her up fo”

“Hello all, this is my first post here. Please I hope people can be kind. I am feeling like I am failing my dog and feel incredibly guilty for even *considering* BE in the future (not even right now) and wondering what other experiences people have had? I tried to join the losing lulu group but you can only join if you have had to go through BE, not before. We got our dog a year ago from another family in another country. He had been found as a stray at approx 4 months old, covered in mange and n”

“Seriously, wtf????? These are my main thoughts daily with my 15 month old dog. Do they go through some sort of regression at this age because the past week or so it’s like he’s gone backwards in so many ways. Pulling on walks, doesn’t want to settle, crying in the pen/crate, not listening. It’s taking all of my will power right now to worry that he will be this way forever. Staying consistent with training but I don’t even know what’s paying off any more!! Drained 😩😩😩 submitted by”

“I’m really upset as I write this so I’m sorry if some of this doesn’t make sense, the summary is that I was on vacation for about two weeks and after I returned I discovered my 10 year old Chihuahua mix jumped from 10.5 pounds to 14.6 I’m so angry and upset, I entrusted my parents to look after her and they think it’s so funny that she got fat but she’s visibly uncomfortable and her breathing is different now. They have absolutely over fed her and made no effort to take her on walks. I’m current”

“I know puppies mature at different ages, but our puppy is over a year old and I dread spending time with him. I think there's some caretaker fatigue as I work from home and my wife does not, but I'm just... not a fan still. How common is this? Will I bond with him eventually? He's got a few legitimate behavioral problems we're working with a professional on: he resource guards us and food, loves our cats but like 1% of the time he aggressively chases them away if we're pettin”

“I am feeling so lost. I have a lab boxer pitbull mix i have had since 9 weeks old, she is 6 years old now. I got her right before Covid so not having her socialized was difficult on her. She is usually fine with women and some men, but lunges, barks and growls at other dogs of any size. Shes fine with my friends she’s met multiple times and my parent’s dog she loves. I recently moved into a new apartment which is challenging. I am on the third floor and very close to the elevator but that can be”

“I made a post in here about 6 months ago telling everyone I couldn’t do it anymore. Update - I’m doing it. I stuck with it. I have the best dog in the world now. She’s crazy, but it’s all worth it in the end. She’s a year and a couple months now and has calmed down to an extent and has such a fun personality! The puppy stage legit almost broke me and made me rethink my ability to do anything ever, but I’m glad I took everyone’s advice just to be patient. Thanks all! submitted by /u/N”

“Hi all, I want to preface this by saying that I completely understand it is our fault for A) not training our dog properly, and B) failing to prepare in time. I was naive enough to think it would all just be ok. We have a very reactive dog (excitable) and we have just brought home a new baby. Our dog typically shows excitement through the usual ways such as jumping up at people and licking. We’ve tried introducing him to our 4 day old baby and he cannot contain himself at all. He is jumping up l”

“We just went through letting our dog go. We knew it was coming but damn it is hard.”

“This is very much still fresh for me. I’m a LVT and my parents have always taken our pets growing up to a Banfield. Today was the unfortunate day for our dog Hennessy as she had all of a sudden a decline in QOL. She started sleeping in places that were very strange vomiting bile and diarrhea, and my dad took her in to get then transferred to an emergency hospital. With blood tests being done there they learned she had kidney failure, a nasal tumor and after she had passed I learned she was septi”

“on monday night, my dogs got into another fight after 2.5 years of peace. my reactive dog, who we have since learned so much about and have put so many rules and barriers in place to keep safe (muzzles, training, boarding, etcetera), attacked my other dog when my mom and i brought groceries home. the first time this happenedi was home alone and making their dinner. we did not have them separated because we were still learning about his bejavior, since we had only had him for a few months at that”

Owning a dog

“Please don’t judge me, i swear I take care of my dog with all the love i have. Husband and I relapsed a couple years ago, and used in the home. While we were always careful to do it in a separate room, used the exhaust, made her leave, washed our hands after in case of any residue, rolled down the windows between hits if we were in the car, etc. I’m sure there was some exposure here and there in the home, but the car is obviously in closer quarters. My husband left, and me and the dog are living”

“I got a dog so I’d feel obligated to give her walks. It’s worked somewhat and really gotten me off the couch, you know, for her sake.”

“I love my baby. He is 11. German shepherd. He saved my life and I am obsessed with him. Idk submitted by /u/Spiritual-Candle-863 [link] [comments]”

“12 months ago he was this tiny little thing. His head would flop around if I didn’t support it, I had to burp him after every feed, and half the time I was scared I was holding him wrong. Now he runs around the house, laughs at stupid things, understands what I’m saying, has his own little personality and somehow seems bigger every single week. And I love watching him grow. Obviously I want to see who he becomes. But at the same time, man, I just want him to stay small for a little longer. It fe”

“okay…this is going to be a long one, so buckle up. and please feel free to judge me because maybe there are things here that i genuinely need to hear. i’m 24f and i’ve had my dog lulah since i was 19. she’s now 5 and has always been my little best friend. we’ve genuinely done everything together and i’ve definitely spoiled her over the years. because i live in a flat, i’ve always taken her outside roughly every two hours for toilet breaks. i even took a pay cut so that i could work from home and”

“We had to put down our Oakley boy in February. I happened to be 28 weeks pregnant and all of the sudden (after a long history of being very reactive, but never towards us) he attacked me. I’m still grieving the loss, nearly 8 months later. I miss him daily, although I don’t regret our choice. He was so so loved and he felt that until the end. Anything you’ve done to mourn your puppers but move on appropriately? submitted by /u/oakleaf_ivy [link] [comments]”

“I’d call it puppy blues but it isn’t, I love my puppy and none of this is his fault. My boyfriend and I decided to get a cattle dog puppy as his 9 year old kelpie was showing some pretty bad signs of arthritis so we knew it’d be his time to go soon. Two weeks after we got the puppy, the kelpie got a cancer diagnosis as well and now has to be put down this week (we have spent 8 weeks with him loving on him as hard as possible since the diagnosis, per the vets suggestion) The cattle dog puppy has”

“I am getting ready to initiate a divorce, but I am very worried about how this is going to affect our 11 year old dog. We adopted him together as a puppy and we both work from home, so our dog is very used to the three of us always being together. My husband and I temporarily separated a few years and I let him keep our dog with him for a few weeks. When I finally got to see him again, our dog didn’t greet me at the door or even respond to my voice. I had to look around the house and find him, w”

“My reactive dog passed unexpectedly earlier this summer and it’s been so hard for my partner and I. Since she passed, I’ve been spending more time at crowded places with lots of other dogs. Like a farmers market or on a park bench. And I hate it! Because soo many people yank their dog by the neck, shake them by the leash, refuse to let their dog sniff anything, yell, slap, hold their dogs mouth closed, etc. I know I’m judging other owners more harshly because I’m grieving but I just don’t unders”

Hey everyone, I’m posting here because I am at my absolute breaking point and really need some honest, judgment-free perspectives. I feel like a horrible owner, I’m drowning in guilt, and my…

Hey everyone, I’m posting here because I am at my absolute breaking point and really need some honest, judgment-free perspectives. I feel like a horrible owner, I’m drowning in guilt, and my…

“Sorry for the longggg post but I’m hoping to get some advice/reassurance from other people who have been through adolescence with their dogs because I feel like our dog has suddenly turned into a completely different dog over the last 2–3 weeks. 😂 He is a male cockapoo/poodle mix, born in December, so he’s 9 months old now. He’s always been a really sociable, friendly dog and, until recently, we could walk him off lead quite happily. He’d greet other dogs, but he was generally sensible about it”