Parents feel guilty about early childcare placement

“Hey all, my baby is 3 months on Saturday and is starting daycare on Monday. Problem is, she’s extremely clingy. She doesn’t need me to hold her all the time or anything, and is most of the time content being put down. But the minute anyone else tries to hold her or even look at her while she is in her bouncer or something she freaks out. I have no idea how this is gonna work. I’m starting her a week before I go back to work so I’ll be available but I HAVE to work. I’m a single mom. I won’t be ab”

“I’m returning to my old company after a year home with my daughter. I tried to return at 4 months and lasted about a week when I realized wfh with a baby and a high pressure job is not doable. We are signed up for full time daycare, and I was granted the ability to work at home, aside from occasional meetings. This was important to me as it makes me feel like I can have access to my little one if daycare calls, if she is sick etc. I know I have an extremely fortunate situation. While the job can”

“My baby is 3 months old and starting daycare T/W/Th and will leave to be dropped off around 5:30am. Baby has been sleeping through the nights 8:30-7:00am and we are so grateful for that and wanting to maintain our routine to give baby good sleep. Baby currently eats 6x around 7:00/9:30/12:30/3:00/5:30/8:00. On days baby goes to daycare, should I add in a 5:00a feed? Put baby to bed earlier and cut the last feed? Try to maintain the same schedule 7 days a week? Let me know any thoughts! sub”

“I have a 10 month old daughter and we just moved states. I quit my last job and have 3-4 weeks off until my new job starts, but we put my daughter in daycare right away. We got her a spot not knowing when I would find a job and didn’t want to lose it, but also I was working a very intense job and am really enjoying having some time to myself to get our house unpacked and settled, catch up on errands and chores, and start a workout routine again. I know it’s good for me to have some time during t”

“Hi! My 9 month old is starting daycare. He's going just 1 hour per day this week. According to what they told me, he plays for a bit and then just cries the whole time he's there. They have him in arms, but just stops crying when when I pick him up. Then he asks for the boob and immediately calms down. I give them my breast milk in a 360 non spill baby cup, he drinks it but I think he just wants the boob and that's why he cries. At home he eats solids very well, but still asks for th”

“I’m an RECE and I work in the infant room at a daycare. When I went back to work, my baby came with me. I returned when he was 10 months old, and he’s now 16 months and getting ready to transition into Toddler 1, probably within the next couple of months. He is completely ready for the transition and I know he’s going to do amazing, but I’m honestly having such a hard time with it. 😭 I feel almost heartbroken, like he’s leaving me or something, even though he’ll literally still be at the same d”

“Just started my 4 mo old at a daycare. I chose it bc newer so the best ratio I’ve seen (my state require 1:5, they are 1:3-4 usually. When I toured it was 1:2 in two classrooms), nobody was crying in any of the classrooms when I toured, and great state inspection and rating reports. My concerns - Day 1, baby refused bottle. Since she hadn’t eaten in 4 hours, I dropped by to try to bottle feed her. They miscommunidated. An old bottle was supposed to be in sink but wasn’t, they told me that was th”

“Hi, my daughter is just over 12 months and we’ve had a nanny at the house since she was 3 months old. I’m a first time mom. Baby loves the nanny, but we’ve always planned to put her in a preschool/daycare setting around 18 months old and due to some recurring issues with the nanny, we would like to put her in daycare now. Husband and I both work from home so baby sees us throughout the day and has a major mama preference. I’ve tried leaving the baby at the daycare at our gym a few times and she”

“My son is 16 months old. He has been with his daycare for quite some time. We know and have known that his daycare tries to follow a fairly strict regimen to make sure that they are developing and as successful as possible. My husband and I both work full time in demanding jobs so we really appreciate this. One of the things that they are strict with is utensils. By 16 months, they need to be able to scoop food and bring it to their mouths and if they drop the food or spoon or whatever, the staf”

“My baby’s 10 months old and as I am returning to work he is enrolled in a daycare. We had 3 settling-in days in which (some of) the babies attended with their parents, us parents fed them, got them to sleep etc. He did fine but I could tell he was quite cautious, much less excited than usual, explored less&sat with toys more than at home etc. Today was the first day when he attended by himself, a shorter day at 9.30-12.20pm. I picked him up and they said he cried the whole time - as in, he w”

“I’ve learned from my eldest how hard the transition is but he was 18 months when we started daycare. for my 2nd born we’re starting him at 6-months. I can’t help but feel so much guilt cause he’s much younger and I’m just supposed to hand him off to basically strangers. so for those that had their LO start daycare at 6-months please drop some words of encouragement and comfort. Will really appreciate it. thank you submitted by /u/h0pya123456 [link] [comments]”

“I stayed home with my kiddo for 10 months, but it wasn’t realistic for me to stay home long term financially. I also just don’t know that it’s the right move mentally - I’ve gotten pretty low emotionally when I had a stay at home job in the past. He’s been in daycare about 7 months now. I’ve been mostly okay. It was a hard transition but after a few weeks he LOVED his teachers, played well with friends, we still had so much fun when home and were intentional with bedtime and spending time doing”

“How on earth were you able to drop your baby off at daycare for the first time??? I’m reviewing daycares to start at the end of October when baby will be 3.5 months old and just the thought of leaving them with someone else makes me tear up. It definitely doesn’t help that I’ll be working for the first time in 2 years and I’ll be on 12’s 😭 my husband will thankfully be picking baby up mid afternoon but I honestly don’t know how I’m going to be able to do this. submitted by /u/Equiva”

“Our baby is 11 weeks, me and my husband were thinking we would leave our baby with my mother overnight. She raised three kids, she is really close with our baby, helping through the day from time to time. We feel pretty safe about it, but i’m still not 100% sure. When was the first time you left your babies overnight and how it was? submitted by /u/Senior_You2336 [link] [comments]”

“My 21 month old daughter just started daycare, a few days a week for full days. Before that she’s been home with us (parents). She doesn’t cry or have behavioral issues at daycare (yet) but just wondering how long the eating and napping transition takes? At home she usually does need a decent amount of help eating but it’s because she’s so busy playing that she’d rather you feed her while she runs and plays and then comes back for another bite (I know it’s not sustainable or the best set up). Pl”

“We did halfday. Provider said he wasn’t upset too long. He played, ate, and pooped. Short nap. He was back to his normal chatty self when we plopped him in his carseat at pickup. He was as normal as can be back home, chatty and on the move. I kept it together. Felt super jittery but that’s it. Had coffee after dropoff. Did some chores. Then picked him up. I told him it didn’t look like he missed us (i’m a little hurt lol). I just put him to sleep an hour ago. Sat on the couch with my husband, wa”

“We hired a babysitter for the very first time for 3 hours to go for dinner. Baby (8mo) was already asleep and usually doesn’t wake up those first few hours. The sitter already knows him as she’s a daycare assistance at baby’s daycare. We get home at 10:30 and hear him scream before we even open the door. The sitter is literally just sitting there and tells us “oh yeah, he’s been at it for 40 minutes. I tried to give him a bottle but he wouldn’t have it”. She was all smiles and polite and didn’t”

“My LO is 8 months and woke up last week with crippling separation anxiety. It was expected because he’s just started childcare. He’s been brilliant adapting to it to the point where he’s happy going in and will even nap independently there. We used to have an amazing bedtime routine from about 5 months. Whilst he’s never been a fantastic sleeper, he would sleep in his own crib. However now, the minute you start lowering him, he screams and there is absolutely no settling him until you pick him u”

“i so stress my mommy sign my baby up for daycare in summer & school say baby get first priority few day before school start lady call my mommy & tell her baby on waiting list so whats it mean if say she get first priority but on wait list & i didn’t understand but my social worker explain me everything but i happy first bc i rly scared her start school & i want tell my mommy i don’t want her go but she make decisions bc she take care of baby . when mommy first sign her up i start”

“Can anyone give me success stories about sending their 6 month old to daycare??? My maternity leave is up- we only get 6 month of some reduce pay here and we can’t survive on one salary. It’s also not really an option to work part time when we crunched the numbers. Last week my girl has her first transition week to daycare- and both times I picked her up she was balling crying. Both times being comforted and I’m sure the daycare had done nothing wrong and it was just the new environment for her.”

“Just looking for solidarity. I’m a first time mom to a 5 month old. I went back to work about 6 weeks ago. My daughter goes to daycare full time as my spouse and I both work. The daycare illness has caught up with her and I am so anxious. She’s been sick all week, she is not acting herself, I can’t focus at work because I’m worried about her… it’s exhausting. She’s also up more at night because she is sick. I’m sitting in her nursery holding her as she sleeps right now and just praying she gets”

“I will be returning to work and my son is 23 months. We have huge childcare shortages in the area and we felt lucky to secure a spot with a home daycare 4 months in advance of my return to work- what a dream. I loved that she was super positive, seemed to genuinely love being with kids, playing right on the ground, doing crafts, teaching great skills before kindergarten. I started seeing her around our small town taking the kids on lots of outings and my concerns started. *** She has a big, jump”

“We had our 3 months of parental leave and then had an issue with daycare starting a month after our leave ended. This is mainly because I was highly picky in what daycare our baby attends. Her start date would be September 28th. I returned to work on August 24th and dad took two weeks of PTO to be home with the baby. I was really worried about the transition because she’s a little velcro baby. It was rough for one day and then she figured it out quickly enough. After the two weeks was up, my bos”

“My baby just hit 12 weeks and I go back to work in 3 weeks and she will be starting daycare. We feel confident in our care, with positive experiences coming from other parents we know and careful review of the facility. I am already beginning to mourn the loss of all the positive experiences that have come out maternity leave and getting to care for my baby 24/7. I wish there was another way I could go back to work, but it’s simply not in the cards for us. Seeking some positive stories and suppo”

“I start work on Monday after 7 months with my LO. She started daycare this week and I am struggling so much. She seems to be doing well at daycare and is so happy to see me when I pick her up. But when I drop her off all I want to do is cry. The third day I spent the whole day on the verge of tears and when we put her to bed I sobbed for an hour. Just reminiscing over our time and all the ways she’s changed and everything we got to do together. I love our slow mornings and her gummy smiles in th”

“I don’t know what I’m looking for and I will be reaching out to my therapist about this but we have been doing daycare 3 days a week since my 3.5 year old was a baby. We have had a great experience, and the teachers have been there since my son was a baby and we have a great relationship with them. I don’t know why but I’m feeling super triggered. My SIL who is a SAHM sent her son to a part time prek this week for the first time ever. It’s a program that is 2 says a week for 2 hours. She said th”

“My daughter starts daycare next week and turns 1 the following day. She has a very secure attachment to me & her dad and seemingly has had stranger danger/separation anxiety from a young age. We do not have any family or friends nearby, so when anyone visits, it has usually been a month or more since she’s seen them and she cries if anyone tries to hold or touch her, but immediately stops once we pick her back up. I have been home with her full-time since birth and we’ve had two different si”

“We kept her home for 3.5 days last week due to a cold. It was a holiday weekend so she was out for 6 days total. She struggled the first 2 weeks but eventually was thriving and stopped crying when we dropped her off. Today was a setback. We had a feeling this would happen. I even told her teacher if the day was rough to go ahead and give me a call and I can get her. I didn’t hear from her daycare and assumed she was fine. My husband picks her up and tells me her teacher told him that she had a r”

“my little 8 week old is starting daycare tomorrow and I’m a mess? Like a complete mess. I’m packing his daycare bag and just crying. Holding him and just crying. He’s so small and just starting to become a person and I know he will be fine but im a mess. We’ve met the infant room staff and toured the facility and done orientation but he will be the youngest one in there by a few months. He literally only sleeps on me and is breastfed (he will take a bottle no problem but I often get him to fall”

“Our son is 15m and has been at a center based daycare a few towns over from us since he was about 7m old. which was the only place we could find for him to go part time (he goes twice a week) For the most part he likes it there, but drop off and pick up he’s always hysterical and crying horribly. Usually he has a good time while I’m gone as far as I can tell, we get pictures and progress reports often and we also have an app we can connect with them on to see when he eats or is changed, etc. We”

“My 9 month old just started daycare and at drop off I’ve been hanging for a minute and then once she’s interested in something else I just kind of.. leave lol She’s only been 2 days so I’m just figuring out if I should actually say goodbye or if that will make her more upset and confused at this age. submitted by /u/thinkin9outloud [link] [comments]”

“My 15-month-old daughter started her settling-in period at daycare this Monday. She has never been cared for by anyone else, and since our family lives very far away, she doesn’t really know anyone other than her parents. She is quite shy around strangers and cries if anyone other than Mom or Dad picks her up. My husband and I try our best to respond to her needs: we don’t let her cry it out, and we accept that she still sometimes needs to be held a lot. Yesterday was her first hour at daycare.”

“My baby is 2 months old and i feel like we did everyrhing wrong that could possibly go wrong and its eating me. 1. We left baby sleeping in another room and watching by camera, but baby somehow managed to put sheet over head unfortunately and that could go like that for 2-3 hours since i last checked on camera, so he potentially could be withouth oxygen quite some time it could be for 1 min,10minutes or 2-3 hours 2. He slipped my boyfriend when he was putting baby in next to me crib, so baby did”

Got guilt? Here’s your weekly thread to share what you‘re feeling, whether it be guilt around working, parenting, daycare, personal life stuff or just being a working mom. Any other posts pertaining…

“FTM to a 10-week-old boy. I interviewed while pregnant and got a job offer I really wanted, starting when he’ll be about 3.5 months. I said yes, but feeling an anxiety spiral come on. Some context: we moved back to London recently after years in Singapore, where maternity leave for foreigners is basically nothing, so getting settled work-wise felt urgent. I’m mid-career and I know from watching colleagues how hard it is to come back after a long gap. The plan is that my parents and my mother-in-”

“Does anyone do a 6th day of full-day childcare? 40m FTD here with 14 month old. I’m struggling with moderate-to-severe PPD, and have been for nearly a year. When I returned from 8-week paternity leave a year ago, I got notice that I would be losing my job at the end of 2025. The stress and panic of that, in addition to sleep deprivation and everything else, broke my mental health. I thankfully did find a new job six months ago. I’ve been finding it exceptionally draining to have to both parent a”

“My baby will be starting daycare soon at 13 months. I am gutted and terrified to leave him at daycare and so scared to trust him with strangers, but I love my job and want to go back to work. The centre he will go to has lots of positive reviews and I know a few other families that go there and speak highly of it. However, i can’t shake this feeling. Please spam me with positive stories about sending your babies to daycare to ease my nerves ❤️ Edit: wow I wasn’t expecting to get so many response”

“I’m pretty anxious about it. It’s tough that he can’t talk yet so I won’t know if he will hate it. But he absolutely had the best time on our tour, so it felt like he was ready. I already warned them that he takes an iron supplement and has horrifying black poops. I had to buy him shoes since we have been almost strictly shoeless so far because i don’t want to mess with his foot development. How many diapers should we pack? He’s currently breast fed and I’m on a break from work so I haven’t pump”

“Hey everyone, looking for some perspective from other parents or daycare providers. My 7-month-old recently started at a home-based daycare. Overall, I’ve been super satisfied—the owner and teachers are incredibly caring and super communicative. They’ll even give her contact naps if and when she needs them! The main issue/confusion I'm having is around her sleep schedule while she’s there: Wake Windows: At home, she was comfortably on age-appropriate wake windows (around 2.5 hours, stretchin”

“We are having some dilemma about our daycare The teachers are very friendly and look supportive. Our baby was having hard time adjusting himself to the daycare setting- he has been crying on and off the time when he’s there. But everytime when I picked him up, he’s always carried by his teachers. His teachers also told me what they have done to calm him down and how they have tagged team to always be with him or cuddle him. He’s also a contact napper at home and wouldn’t nap on his cot. The teac”

“I need every parent that has ever sent their babies to a daycare or babysitter to shed some insight please. My 2 year old went to daycare for the first time Monday. I fed him breakfast, and brought lunch with him because I wasn't sure how their feeding schedule worked, and i was worried about him not wanting to eat what they had. I was told they serve breakfast until 9:30, and lunch was at 10:45. But I was told I couldn't leave what I brought him for lunch, because "don't worry,”

“My 25 month old son started daycare last week. Happy as anything for the first couple of days as it was new and fun. Now in the second week he's started crying when we drop him off. From photos etc during the day he looks happy enough. When we pick him up he runs to me (not Mum so much) and is obviously a bit emotional and mostly happy...not crying. I understand that this is pretty normal for starting daycare and we just have to make the drop off process quick and routine and he should get u”

“It’s not like I have this serious debilitating anxiety, but I am definitely worried about my LO getting sick at daycare when she starts mid-October. And I know she will, that’s been clear. What is it like when babies get sick? What should I expect? She will be about 4 months old. Is it that bad or more just like colds? submitted by /u/Natural_Art4568 [link] [comments]”

“tldr: age old story of mom doomscrolling about first daycare My baby is no longer 'new', he's 17 months old, but we've had the incredible, incredible, privilege of him being raised by my mother for the first 17 months of his life. At 17 months he's showing intense interest in other children, a desire to learn skills/do some things independently, and overall is incredibly inquisitive of the world around him. His energy level is also rapidly outpacing my elderly mother and all”

“I was laid off in August 2025 and just went back to work last Monday (tough market). My son is 19 months and started daycare for the first time. Naturally he got hit with his first daycare cold last Friday which was pretty extreme. Terrible congestion, split nights/constant wakes. Incredibly clingy. I switched a WFH day to Monday in case he needed to go to the doctor. Split night Tuesday up from 12-4am. Worked from home Wednesday to let him sleep in before daycare. On the other side of the cold”

“our boy has been in daycare for about 3 months. he had really bonded with his first teacher, and drop offs were actually happy finally. 2 weeks ago he moved up to the next class, new teacher but a lot of the same kids moved at the same time. he has not been adjusting well at all. drop offs are super emotional again, and he cries as soon as he realizes we’re leaving. yesterday they texted me to tell me he seemed off and not playing or talking, and asked if I wanted to pick him up. I did because I”

“My son will be 14 months old by the time he starts daycare. We haven’t signed up yet but are just about to. I’m a stay at home mom. Where we live, we get 5 hours of free daycare. My son is extremely active and just not into toys at all. He could be outside playing all day long and still come home to being bored and wanting to play. He doesn’t like sleeping or eating or basically anything that prevents him from exploring every second of his life. Obviously it’s quite exhausting which is why every”

“Feeling the guilt of my little one starting daycare next week. It's costing us an arm and a leg but we don't have much of a choice. My maternity leave is over, I can't afford to take FMLA, and my income covers food, some utilities, and debts. It's around $400/week and we live in Arizona, Phoenix metro area. "Financially we'll never recover from this!" The slightly less expensive daycares just didn't smell right. Any suggestions on how to work through this transi”

“I have three kiddos. 5, 3 and 8 weeks. My third is such a chill content baby so smiley. Only ever cries to be fed or changed or cold. I feel bad bec I want to hold him more but I am literally up and down with my other kids. Then he's in the car a lot between appts for me or my other children and school pickup/drop offs. My first was Velcro and colic. So she was held 24/7. My second actually liked to do tummy time so she did a ton of floor time and It felt very balanced. I do try to do tummy”

“My 9 month old baby just had his first week at daycare. I am a bit nervous about the care there as I noticed there are 2 instances where babies crying while they are crawling but the teachers who were available didn’t attend to them. When I asked them about it, they said it’s their way to settle the baby. I am not sure if those are just 2 exceptions as I did saw the teachers comfort and carry crying babies around. The teacher said my baby was crying on and off which is expected. He also gone fro”

“I’ve been having terrible guilt and anxiety about sending my first baby to daycare. We toured one place today and my anxieties went away, the director was so knowledgeable and understanding, and the teachers have been there for years which is very important to me. I just got that good feeling from it that I didn’t quite get from others that we toured. The other that we toured is less expensive but had one questionable review. No state violations though. I feel like I can’t expect perfect from a”

“My almost 4 month old started going to a sitter last week for 2x/week due to both my husband and I going back to work. It’s an in home sitter and she only has our son and then 4 boys of her own but all but one is in school. Our son has been having a really hard time taking naps there despite the sitter trying multiple things and it sounds like her boy is playing with him non stop and maybe messing with him. When my husband picks him up he just screams for hours because he’s exhausted and will no”

“My almost 4 month old started going to a sitter last week for 2x/week due to both my husband and I going back to work. It’s an in home sitter and she only has our son and then 4 boys of her own but all but one is in school. Our son has been having a really hard time taking naps there despite the sitter trying multiple things and it sounds like her boy is playing with him non stop and maybe messing with him. When my husband picks him up he just screams for hours because he’s exhausted and will no”

“My boy just turned one 3 days ago. I decided it was time to go back to work as I was a SAHM before. Whenever I have to say bye bye my son cries for me so much. And he looks so confused on why I can’t grab him. I feel so bad I’m contemplating quitting. I don’t need to work its more so for extra spending cash. In my mind this is my only child I don’t want to waste his early years not being here. But he has a happier mama when I have extra cash. And more cash means more fun things for him. I also g”

“I have anxiety about sending my potentially 9 month old to daycare; I may have a good job opportunity but I am scared to end my maternity leave early and send my baby to daycare. What do the babies do all day? How do they get naps in during the day for the babies? What if my baby doesn’t nap? Will they play with him? Will they cuddle him? submitted by /u/partypeaches [link] [comments]”

“My baby is about to turn one and I’ve been lucky enough that my husband and I were able to take his first year and split the time watching him! I’m not ready to send him to daycare due to emotional reasons and also it’s expensive. I’ve decided to leave my full time job (that I took a pay cut to come back to after maternity leave at 3 months) and get a job waiting tables 2-3 nights a week to supplement with bills. I used to bartend and wait tables in my 20s and I made pretty decent money. This wi”

“My almost 11 MO will be starting nursery when she is 12 months old and we are currently doing settle sessions. She is EBF and very very clingy/attached to me (mum). Even at night she often won't settle for Dad. Doesn't take a bottle so never really been left with any other caregivers apart from my husband (her Dad) and an hour or two with my parents. I have been expecting the nursery transition to be brutal bc I've been on maternity leave alone with her for almost a year and she is s”

“Heading back to work Monday and feeling a lot of things. Baby starts daycare and is doing two trial days this week. On one hand, so grateful for the time with my perfect baby boy. On the other- he had a very early birth and spent the first month of my unexpectedly early leave in the NICU. Lots of doctors appointments and navigating preemie issues during the early days home. Finally in the past 2 months (my leave was 4.5 months long) I finally feel like we hit our stride and could have more fun.”

“My 22 month old will start daycare in a week, on Monday. He’s been with our amazing nanny since he turned 6-7 months old. I also had the grandmothers visit and take care of him. My question is what should I expect first day, I know my son will be crying a lot… and he’s so at her to his dad. Like all toddlers, they’re also very expressive lol what if he doesn’t stop crying? Wouldn’t that traumatize him especially the next day when I drop him off again? Help me please, I’d like some pointers or ad”