Parents Struggle With Childcare & Family

“Hi all, First time mom here in Canada. I'm 7 months into mat leave and have my baby on a number of wait lists for daycares. Before having my baby I was totally on board with daycare but at this point I can't imagine dropping my baby off with strangers for the day. We're also considering a nanny but that also makes me anxious and would cost more I think. My mom was sahm until we were in school, and I'm realizing I would feel way more comfortable doing that, but a part of me would”

“My son just turned 4 and is eligible to start TK this year. The schedule would be Monday through Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. I’m currently a stay-at-home mom, so I don’t need childcare. I also have a degree in Child Development and Early Childhood Education, so I feel confident teaching him letters, numbers, social skills, and other kindergarten readiness skills at home. Part of me feels like 8 to 2, five days a week, is a long day for a young 4-year-old. On the other hand, I don’t want h”

“UPDATE: I have accepted and submitted the enrollment forms! Husband was onboard with preschool before but when I told him we didn't win the lottery and would have to pay for a preschool instead, he said maybe we should just keep our son home. I said ok that's fair we could be saving up more money anyway, we'll just wait for kindergarten. It's why I'm a stay at home mother. Cut to today though, I receive an email from the school district saying there is now a free spot and tha”

“Has anyone had a baby that just couldn’t acclimate to daycare or struggled too much? What did you end up doing after? How did it impact them? Thank you submitted by /u/nature-space [link] [comments]”

“Hey fellow moms! Just a question: where do you meet other moms? I have a 4-year-old son who's starting TK soon. When he was younger and I wasn't working, I went to co-ops and met other moms. Since going back to work, though, I've lost touch with most of them, and the few I'm still in contact with have built close friendships with moms from the kids' groups and co-ops that I can no longer attend. I'm not going to lie, I feel lonely sometimes. I'm originally from Europe”

“I’m a FTM; baby is due later this year. Long story short: there is a three month gap between when I have to go back to work and when we were able to get a daycare spot (despite signing up when I was 8 weeks pregnant!) For reasons I won’t get into, this daycare is an ideal fit long term and worth putting up with the delayed start, but now I need to find care for the three month period. We could afford a nanny, but truthfully I feel like I’d find it stressful and disruptive to have someone else in”

“Hello, looking for getting started advice. I'm pregnant, due in early October and targeting the beginning of February as my return to work date - LO will be 4 months old then. My fiancé and I both work from home, in MA. We're starting to look at care options and I'm overwhelmed mostly with the *process* of finding care. Where do you start? Daycare: Exploring 3-day options. We’ve toured two center-based daycares in our town. We preferred the smaller, non-chain option and are on its in”

“Our little guy just turned 2, so we want to start trying for a second. Currently he attends an in-home daycare that we love , but they will not have space for an infant for another two years. Ideally I would like both kids at the same daycare, but I think a four year age gap is pushing it. A couple weeks ago I looked into facility options and found one I'd be happy with. (A bonus is that my kid's daycare buddy moved to this one a couple months ago.) I'm just struggling with if/when w”

“Hi all! We are beginning the process of looking at daycares in a high cost of living area in the United States while also making middle of the road incomes. The modern version of hell! I'm curious if folks have suggestions about questions to ask the daycares or things that are important to look for when we visit these places. We are looking at both centers and at-home options. Any advice is welcome and appreciated! Is there any research out that about what actually matters and should be non-”

“Hi all! We are beginning the process of looking at daycares in a high cost of living area in the United States while also making middle of the road incomes. The modern version of hell! I'm curious if folks have suggestions about questions to ask the daycares or things that are important to look for when we visit these places. We are looking at both centers and at-home options. Any advice is welcome and appreciated! submitted by /u/SteelJustice [link] [comments]”

“So we are touring day cares this week. Top of the list is a 10 min walk from my house. Plan is to start in September. I wfh currently but will start going to office in October so I figured it would be helpful for her to have her transition period while I wfh so if they have to call me in for something Im 10 mins away. I dont know how to prep for daycare. My baby will be 11 months when she starts. She is sleep trained but badly regressing right now due to teething pain, so I guess we will just se”

“My LO is 7 months old and starts daycare tomorrow. We’re doing a trial week in which I’ll be at home and easily accessible if she’s having a tough time. I was blessed to stay home with her all this time, but it’s now no longer feasible. She’s breastfed, but takes formula bottles no problem, and she’s not sleep trained whatsoever😅 I’m sure putting your child in the hands of someone else is scary, whether it’s your first child or your tenth, but my anxiety is through the roof! How did your babies”

“My son will be starting daycare around 12 mo this fall. He is currently watched full time by family, but they are unable to continue full time care after one year. My family still wants to watch him two days a week and so will need to spend three days in daycare since my spouse and I both work full time. My family also have 1-2 trips that we will need to pay to add on two extra days for 1-2 weeks at a time while they are gone. The problem is one of my family members that will be watching him is”

“Hello fellow parents! My baby will be off to daycare in a few weeks at roughly 5 months old. She’ll be there about 8-530. This is my first baby so I really have no idea what to expect or what she’ll need there. I have so many questions! Any thoughts on any of the following would be so helpful! Did you do anything to prepare your baby? Like changes in schedule, routines, etc? She has been exclusively breastfed except a few practice bottles here and there. We’re experimenting with how much she’ll”

“I’m sure this is kinda silly as so many kids go to daycare and it’s totally normal but with how our situation has been before it’s been bugging me really badly. I hope this is the right place for me to post this. My daughter just turned 2 last month. I am due with our second in mid-October. I recently just transferred to a different position in my company, with a different work schedule that overlaps with my husbands. I’ve always been a working mom since I had my first but working very little. (”

“We send our kids (12 YO twins) to public school - we live in a HCOL city that has very good public schools if you move to the burbs so that has been a big saving over time. A camp they really like is ~$15k for both of them but that has been a relatively recent thing. We spend ~$200k a year, so excluding camp and some buffer would leave $180k for all the rest of our discretionary and fixed spending. Im going to take a swag and say that our kids count as 1 full adult, so of that $180k they would b”

“My wife is pregnant and we’ve been so worried about money. We are well off. We have a home, we make decent money and we have a lot in savings. The only problem is that the cheapest daycare we have found charges $500/week which is $2,000/month. Our mortgage is $1,700 so that’s way more than our mortgage and that’s the cheapest one we have found. We live in a smaller, rural area so I don’t know why it costs so much since a lot of people around here don’t make a lot of money. Neither of our parents”

“When are y’all letting people watch/babysit your baby?? I’m a soon to be ftm and really am struggling with the idea of it. I have to go back to work part time however my MIL is getting all this newborn stuff (including a car seat) and I feel very very unsure. I feel like if anyone expects to watch him they should be over at our place- but idk if I’m being crazy. I almost feel better with him at a daycare part time than with my MIL because I know he would be at the same place the entire time. &#3”

“Just curious what kind of activities do mums do with babies of 1.5 year old not going to nursery and I also don’t have a village in the area? submitted by /u/GroundbreakingCap368 [link] [comments]”

“As the title says I'm sending my 2 year old to daycare for the first time. We've had a nanny but I'm fully WFH now and just can't do it all. He's never been and absolutely loves me so I'm slightly worried. Wonder for those who've done the same thing, starting at 2, and how long the adjustment took for you? TIA! submitted by /u/saraharchie93 [link] [comments]”

“Kids are pretty flexible but it depends on temperament. Try it and see how it goes. I think finding reliable childcare that you can trust can be difficult- but if you can find that and set up a routine it seems doable. It’s likely more for you than the kids- at these younger ages for only a few months the language immersion won’t do much and cause frustration.”

“Hi Everyone. I have a question about childcare expenses. Whether the expenses increase or decrease as the kids get older. I have 2 kids, age 5 and 11. Both kids are active in dance and soccer. While we do pay premiums for their activities, it is still cheaper than what we had paid for daycare. Due to the uncertainty of my existing job, I am considering taking a lower paying job because it would have more security. I am looking to get feedback and stories from other parents if your child expenses”

“In city (Chicago). We are 4ish years ahead: Public schools: Free After care: $500ish a month for 9 months (total) Morning nanny help: $150ish a week depending on days Summer camps: This ranges from $300 on low end to $1000 for overnight camp per week (per kid) Sports/activities: Anywhere from $100-$500 a month depending on what it is (rec soccer vs piano vs tennis etc) Travel: This is the most expensive. I don’t think people realize spring break pricing. Christmas/NYE is even more insane. We ski”

“TLDR: did you send breastmilk with your 1 year old to daycare? My son will start integrating into childcare in a couple of weeks. He'll be almost 11 months and we have 9 weeks to get him settled into 5 hours a day. My partner is off from 12-13 months old and I will work from home during that time so I can nurse to sleep if needed. Currently he nurses to sleep and wake up but sometimes just for sleep. We've only given him 2 bottles of breastmilk and I've never pumped. I don't want”

“Initially very high costs when they were your kids ages. VPK actually really expensive around here and full time nanny as well was not cheap at all. As all the kids started school nanny no longer needed and costs dropped substantially day to day. Vacations slightly more expensive but not near the cost of the full time nanny and our nanny used to come with us on vacations as well so likely near break even. So overall costs I think will trend down for you until teenage years. Activities I haven’t”

“honestly the nanny is the big line item here. once that drops off youll have a lot more breathing room even if camp and activities ramp up we were spending similar when ours were little and now with a 10 and 7 year old its maybe 40k a year on camps sports music lessons and the endless birthday party circuit. vacations definitely get pricier though. plane tickets for 5 plus bigger airbnbs or two hotel rooms adds up fast”

“I’ll be visiting a daycare centre soon for a walkthrough before potentially enrolling my baby, and I would really appreciate some advice from other parents. What are the most important things I should observe during the tour? Were there any green flags that made you feel confident about a daycare, or red flags that made you decide against one? Is there anything you wish you had asked before your child started? I would also appreciate advice about what documents, supplies and information I should”

“Our 3 year old is in a forest type school a few days a week, mainly to get him time with other kids regularly. We just are adding a babysitter at 20 hours a week to help with pick up from school (it’s not close), some household chores, and watching baby or toddler, or both. Seems like a lot but we decided to start there and see how that goes. Mainly I want to be able to spend 1:1 time with my toddler still, and also be able to work out and catch up on sleep. I should outsource cleaning but that’”

“Thank you! Helpful to hear from someone whose kids are also young. What sort of childcare help do you have? And are there other things at home you've outsourced, and if so, what? (Eg cleaning) Does the monotony and drudgery ever get to you? The emotional drain of toddler tantrums, the repetitiveness of newborn care? I'm certain I want to downshift when they are in school, just not totally sure about right now.”

“We have two under 4. Between both of us working full time during the week and doing daycare drop off and pickup and dinner, baths, etc. there is no free time during the week. Weekends are spent catching up and trying to spend as much time with the kids as possible. Realized today, when a fellow daycare parent invited us to their house next weekend (our sons are becoming good friends and it’s adorable), that I can’t remember the last time we socialized with adults (who aren’t family). Is this nor”

“My family is facing a tough decision to change our 20 month old's daycare. She's been at this school since she was 12 weeks old. Up until the last few months we've been pretty pleased with the school, but now I feel like we have no choice but to leave an affordable school to another (more expensive) school. For context, when she was in the baby room she did great and had very consistent teachers. We had quite a bit of illness but I suppose that's to be expected. When she moved up”

“I know this question has been answered many times, but as other anxious mothers, I want to hear opinion of others for my situation. I am lucky enough to keep my baby at home until around 15-16 month. Now we are reaching to the point we need to decide on next step. I already put deposit to a daycare which has really good teacher to toddler ratio (8 kids and 4 teachers- all 4 teachers overlaps between 10AM to 3PM) and good reputation. But as the start day approach I am questioning myself whether I”

“We have our 6 month old in an in home daycare that lasts all day but we only have her there for a half day since my wife is worried about full time daycare at her age. I normally work hybrid wfh so we’re able to pick her up in the middle of our work days and she’s part time as well so this works out. But now I have an upcoming event for work that will last all day, I’ll be gone like 10 hours from the house, and she’s angry that she will need to take care of baby all day. I pointed out that we pa”

“I'd really appreciate some advice from parents who have been in a similar situation. Our son is 11 months old. He spent around 6 weeks in NICU after birth, but thankfully everything has now been resolved, he's doing really well, growing normally. We originally planned to start him at nursery this August (2 days a week), but we're now wondering whether to delay until January. It's not so much about avoiding infections, we know all children catch bugs when they start nursery, wheth”

“Hello! For some context I am a FTM to an 18 month old boy. I have been incredibly lucky that my parents watched him while I worked, up until last week when my mom and I had a pretty bad falling out. Lucky I have found a new job that has childcare for employees but I am so beyond upset I can’t stop crying. I don’t want someone else who I don’t know to take care of him. Im so scared that he’s will get mistreated, though I know he will be in the same building as I am. My situation is pretty ideal a”

“Hi WMs, reaching out for some support as my 2 year old transitions daycares. We recently had to change because we moved 30+ min from the old daycare. He’s been at the new one for a week now. The tears start as soon as we put his shoes on at home and the whole drive there. There are moments he is ok, but mostly he is crying or sad throughout the day. He’s the sweetest boy and it just breaks my heart that he has to feel this much without us there to comfort him. The teachers are doing a wonderful”

“Hi all - Looking for some accumulated wisdom. My almost 2.5 year old has been with a nanny for 2 years and is doing great. It was a share for a while until the other child went to group care. There is still a ton of socialization - she sees the same kids her age nearly every day and has a tight knit group of toddlers and nannies. They do story hours at local libraries, playgrounds, and sometimes bigger outings to museums etc. The nanny is excellent - constantly reading to her, teaching her ABCs,”

“Some background: my husband was let go prior go our baby being born this past April and given how expensive infant daycare is in our area we decided it makes the most sense for him to be a stay at home dad for awhile. We can survive on my single income, though it is tight so we can't add extra things like a cleaner or regularly eat out/order in, so a lot of the housework, if not all of it, will fall on him & he says he can handle it. Baby is 4 months old right now, sleeps well reliably f”

“I can't decide if I should send my youngest to preschool. Both of my older children (now teens) both did pre-K 3 and 4 before kindergarten. My youngest is 3Y4M and I'm not sure if she should attend school in September or if I should keep her home with me and just send her for pre-K 4 next year. We have the option to send her to head start which is 9-3 Monday - Friday for free. For context, I'm a nanny and she comes to work with me. So she does get socialization and we do lots of fun”

“Is there anything out there saying that preschool is MORE beneficial than being home? Both of my older children (now teens) both did pre-K 3 and 4 before kindergarten. My youngest is 3Y5M and I'm not sure if she should attend school in September or if I should keep her home with me. submitted by /u/Brainzap3 [link] [comments]”

“Good morning, Our son (35 months) has been in a home daycare since my husband and I went back to work. He loves her so much and she also goes to the church we attend. This last year he’s become a lot more difficult at daycare. He is one of those kids that needs a lot of movement. She has small babies and so outside time when it’s cooler out is hard. We made the decision to switch him to a center/pre-school curriculum that has a lot of play and lots of space to run around. We got him into the Y p”

“We have a lot of goals: bigger house, daycare so we don’t have our moms watching the kid, and myself going part time. How the hell do people make this stuff happen? We both make good money for our LCOL area. Is it just inflation making everything impossible? submitted by /u/PostmodernistEgg [link] [comments]”

“Hey all! I’m a SAHM to a new 3yo and an 18 month old. We just started sending my 3yo to daycare two mornings a week—— and HONESTLY, while only having 1 kid those two mornings feels like a cakewalk, I’m lowkey already dreaming about how nice it would be to have 2 mornings a week without any kids at all 😂 Does anyone do this?!?!? submitted by /u/Seachelle13o [link] [comments]”

“Hopefully this isnt a controversial post, that's not the intention. We are blessed with a happy 3 month old baby. The ideal goal as agreed on by both parents is to keep Mom home with the baby until Pre-K age before returning to work. Dad returned to a mentally demanding project management position a few weeks ago and tried to work an earlier shift 6a-330p so I can get home and give Mom an hour break from 330-430, which in that time includes some play and a bottle. So for it seems like there&”

“5 year old daughter starts kindergarten next week. Wife got books to prepare her, and it's my wife who is already happy sad about it. Add to that, our son starts preschool. For the first time in 5 years, she's going to be "alone" three times a week. Looking for thoughts / ideas to support my wife through this transition. Appreciate the help in advance! submitted by /u/Froyo-Representative [link] [comments]”

“As my child enters PreK this fall I am also seeing many of our friends and community with similar age children pick up and move to areas with “good schools”. Now I’m starting to wonder what makes for a good school - aside from the obvious, ie high test scores, low student to teacher ratio, safe neighborhood, etc. Is it just the GreatSchools ratings? Nice buildings? Extracurriculars? My problem is that everyone seems to define this differently and no one can articulate it clearly without sounding”

“Not sure what to do at this point. My toddler's behavior is not good and I am horrified. My 2.5 year old has been in daycare since infancy, but his behavior has gotten worse over time. Around 18 months, I had some informal conversations with his teachers about hitting. Nothing seemed to raise any red flags, and they indicated that hitting and pushing was common and often reduced when children developed more language skills. Around 2 he was moved up to the 2-3 room. A few months ago, I met wi”

“It’s not perfect, but we both work M-F. I’m able to do drop off and he does pick up, or if he works late, I do pick up too. I work from home and baby goes to daycare. I’d probably look for an outpatient clinic where you could work PRN if you don’t need to be FT.”

“Hi all, FTM here. I’m taking an abbreviated mat leave which means when I go back my son will be about 2.5 months. I’m really torn whether to hire a full time nanny or put him in day care, both M-F about 9 to 5. I see the pros and cons for both. I love the concept of daycare but worry with him being so young that he won’t get the attention he needs at this stage, versus 1:1 with a nanny. But I also am nervous about the reliability of a nanny (our first option just quit unexpectedly!) does anyone”

“So a bit of a long one, I'm a FTM and I currently have a one year old who is the light of my life. In between that time I have lost three jobs because of daycare. It just seems like he's always getting sick but when he comes home he's all happy and giggling. A bit of a background me and my husband are all we have. Both of my parents are deceased and his don't even live near us. Each one of my siblings are not even in the same state, so when its an emergency, its either me or him.”

“Hi! I am a FTM to a 16 week old. I’m so lucky to have gotten so much time off with him. He will be starting daycare at 20 weeks when I go back to work. We absolutely loved our daycare and everyone we met, and I have a feeling he will do so great. Anytime we’re around other kids he is just so so so happy 🥹 my anxious mom brain can’t stop feeling horrible for having to send him to daycare while I work. Can anyone chime in with positive daycare experiences? Do your kids love it? Thankfully he will”

“I’m a SAHM with a newborn and a three year old. My pediatrician advised it’d be nice for my son to start some preschool at least part time. I’m divided whether to start this fall or wait until he’s closer to four next spring. Reasons to wait: I’d like to avoid cold and flu season especially as my baby isn’t totally vaccinated yet as he’s only six weeks. My son isn’t potty trained yet. Trust me, we have been trying every method and made little progress. Reasons to send now: He loves other kids an”

“Man! I did NOT expect this. 3 weeks down of daycare (only twice a week mind you) 3 weeks of both parents sick and missing office days, having sick grandparents who do the other 3 days of babysitting during week. We pay enough for the 2 days of daycare and I can’t afford to keep getting sick. Should we just be hiring another babysitter for the 2 days LO goes to daycare? This stinks! What would you do in hindsight? submitted by /u/FirstTimeSmokin [link] [comments]”

“Man! I did NOT expect this. 3 weeks down of daycare (only twice a week mind you) 3 weeks of both parents sick and missing office days, having sick grandparents who do the other 3 days of babysitting during week. We pay enough for the 2 days of daycare and I can’t afford to keep getting sick. Should we just be hiring another babysitter for the 2 days LO goes to daycare? This sucks! What would you do in hindsight? submitted by /u/FirstTimeSmokin [link] [comments]”

“Hi fellow parents, my partner and I have a one and a half year old and little to no family help. We have a milestone anniversary coming up and are hoping to go somewhere (pretty much anywhere! We all have passports, thankfully) where we can spend a few nights and enjoy both family time and a romantic, child-free dinner. Not 5 stars but willing to splurge a little. Any recommendations for a hotel or other lodging where safe childcare is provided onsite? TIA 🌴 submitted by /u/mercuria”

“I was laid off while pregant. I just got a job offer and it was unexpected (sourced by recruiter). I thought I would have maybe 3-5 more months with my baby and she'd be a little more independent, but I accepted the job. It just makes sense financially. I'm struggling to know what will be the best choice for us, daycare or a nanny. We can afford both and are actively exploring both options. Assuming you could afford both, why did you choose one over the other? I think I have PPA so this”

“My mom, sister, and I have worked out an arrangement where our daughters close in age will be watched by our Mom at my house. My daughter is 6 months and I'm a teacher. My mom was very interested in watching my daughter full time and we figured out an arrangement. I told my mom I would find child care for my daughter several times but she very much wants to watch her. This is helpful to us because we will be giving her some money, but at a more reduced weekly rate than a childcare center. Al”

“Hi all! My family (me, husband, 1 year old) are planning on moving within the next year or so. We currently live about a 15/20 minute walk from a small downtown area with coffee shops, a children's playground, library etc and are considering moving even closer. (Still have to drive to a grocery store). We do however live in armpit of the South which means is too hot to safely walk for long distances with children for about 3 months out of the year. We plan on adding to our family within the”

“Hello all! I’m looking for information on the best age appropriate approach to help my child learn as a stay at home mom. My child went to a half day “school” a few days a week for the past couple of years and it was extremely beneficial for him, socially and academically. We recently moved to a HCOL area and cannot afford the nursery schools so I will be staying home with him and I am terrified I am stunting his learning. The more you know the better you do, which is why I am here lol. I have t”