Parents Struggle With Childcare & Family

“My 20mo son has been attending an unlicensed daycare for about 6 weeks. He’s doing well! He seems to like the lady. She’s had a daycare for over 20 years. We chose her after a friend of ours had sent their daughter to her for over 3 years. He’s a little rough around the edges (not politically correct at all lol) but seems to know how to wrangle 5 kids and my son has no issue going. We pay $50 a day. He’s fed 2 snacks and lunch… although she’s quite vague about what she feeds them which bothers m”

“We had a nanny for 18 months with our first. I worked remote as a Graphic Designer and could keep bf and be there in case of anything. I think it was awesome for us but god financially it killed my whole paycheck. My hubby was able to cover the rest of the bills though. At 18 we switched to daycare and that was a little over half price. My boss was super flexible as we transitioned and I loved that flexibility that we had. That job is out of the picture, unfortunately (it did pay a lot less) and”

“Hi everyone! FTM looking for some reassurance (but also honesty!). My daughter is 11 months and we have started her transition to daycare. I am in a very privileged position that I don’t go back to work until after Canadian Thanksgiving so I have over 3 weeks to ease her in with shorter days and working up to longer. I’ve already been struggling with a lot of Mom guilt about the fact that I chose to go back five days a week because the job I changed into had less workload (went from a classroom”

“I am looking for some advice, or what you all would do in our situation. Baby is due 1/4/27, but I will likely be induced on 12/28/26 unless she decides to come earlier on her own. My son (3.5 years old) came two weeks early. Basically, since I've been living with my husband (even before marriage in little apartments), we have hosted holidays for his family because his mom is a hoarder. We currently live about 2.5 hours from her in the mountains where we get pretty heavy snow. She does not f”

“We have 2 children who will be 18 months and 5 next school year. We're planning to enroll our son in Chinese immersion next year, which is out of our feeder pattern. There's one daycare in the feeder program that is about a 10 minute detour for my ~30 minute commute. From what I’ve read, it’s a family owned center that had a lot of tuenover under new ownership last year but mostly stablized. He’s kind of sketchy though, clearly chasing after some “best daycare” vanity awards or businesse”

“I've heard it said here that pre-k/daycare is beneficial starting at 3 but is there any research on how much is beneficial? Our options are partial day part time, partial day full time, full week part time and full week full time. Would love to hear any reasoning on if any of these are better than the others. submitted by /u/Cynoid [link] [comments]”

“Went back when he was 1 and I don't mind it completely. Of course I miss having as much time with him but he really enjoys the childminder and his friends there. It's not a bad thing to have to do I feel like he is gaining a lot out of the situation and transitioned really well. Also, I feel like I am getting a bit more me time even if it's at work (luckily I quite enjoy my job). I had maternity quite hard with sleep deprivation. I feel like now I can be there for him with my whole a”

“Looking for opinions and experiences. My first was with me and nanny until 2.5 yo. Transition to daycare was rough. With the second one - should I start at 9 months or 12-15 months? I dont think I have ability to do nanny for as long as it was with #1. submitted by /u/pillow_should [link] [comments]”

“Our daycare has started a parent/teacher committee which I’ve joined along with two other moms. The main goal is to increase parent engagement, build community and support new parents. Does anyone have any ideas for how to do this without adding too much of an extra burden onto parents? Any ideas from your own daycare that have been successful? submitted by /u/Cool-DogMom [link] [comments]”

“I’m a FTM of a 2 month old baby girl, I’ll be going back to work when she’s 5.5mo. Right now when I have an appointment or errand to run, my parents or in laws watch her for a few hours at my house. They’ll be watching her 4 days/week when I go back to work also. When did you let your LO be babysat at someone else’s house? What about being driven in the car by someone else? My MIL has mentioned taking my daughter to her hair appts and stuff and I just don’t see the need for her to take her anywh”

“Hello everyone. I (26F) am expecting my first baby next year and trying to figure out the most practical daycare set up once I return to work after maternity leave. I live in one city but commute about 45 minutes each way 4 days a week to another city for work. The commute is not bad at all and is mostly interstate. I work 7:00a-3:30p and leave home about 6:15 every morning. My question is whether it makes more sense to put baby in daycare closer to home or closer to my work. My husband’s work s”

“Hi! Curious to hear from people who have extra “village” help, or don’t but can weigh in. My husband and I have a three month old and live a couple of hours from my parents, so no family in town other than his brother. When we got pregnant, we considered moving to be closer to my parents, but ultimately decided being close to our friend network, most of whom have small children, was more important for the time being. That being said, now we’re starting to rethink this. I’m strongly considering u”

“I’m weighing the cost of childcare, and wondering if me and my husband could tag team taking care of our 3 month old since we both work from home. Problem is, my job is very demanding and requires my full attention, so I’m not sure how much help I would be. Anyone else have this same setup? submitted by /u/lil_gingerale [link] [comments]”

“Our now-18 month old was terminated from his previous daycare for failure to acclimate after six weeks. It was an in-home setting with mixed ages, six kids. After some scrambling, we've decided to try one of the larger chains. We hope that with two teachers and all kids around his age, he'll have an easier time adjusting. He starts tomorrow and my stomach is in knots! I'd appreciate some good vibes and success stories from moms whose children have made this kind of childcare switch.”

“If your nanny can take your kid out to things like library story time, kid activities going on, and have a playdate at least once a week, a nanny would be by far the better option than daycare. I say having 20 years experience with children and did the first four in daycare. You have one or two teachers, depending on age and how many kids, per 10 kids by the time they're 3. A child will get way less attention and care once you go to a daycare, instead I would increase socialization at home.”

“My daughter found a person like you describe, but she started off as a nanny. She is an older woman with adult children, so she can handle both taking care of toddlers and also doing random things like taking a car in for service, as well as pickup/dropoff of the kids for school and activities. My daughter has also had younger nannies and au pairs, but has found older more mature people are capable of a broader range of tasks.”

“Hello! I'm looking for some advice from parents who may be, or have been, in a similar situation to me. I currently have a 15 week old at home. As of right now I'm still on maternity leave. My husband is currently working full time and going to school full time to get his MBA. I love my son, but with my husband working full time and getting his MBA I am basically a solo parent 99% of the time. I have no idea how to get anything done. Right now I can find smaller pockets in the day to get”

“I'm returning to work part time in Jan next year. I'll be starting 2 days in Jan ( baby will be 6 months) and 3 days in March. I have the option of Monday, Thursday, Friday or Wednesday, Thursday Friday. For me personally the midweek break feels like it would be good. But I could earn more working the 3 consecutive days as Wednesday has longer hours. What would be best for for baby? She'll be in care from 8-6 on those days. submitted by /u/choc_mint217 [link] [comme”

“Our nanny is incredible. It’s the right thing socially for our toddler to go a daycare next year, but we’ll miss the nanny so much. We found her through a local Facebook group.”

“Not everybody want to spend all the time with kids even when they love kids so much.”

“I work from home most days so I do pick up and drop offs. I'm 9 times out of 10 in workout clothes or sweatpants, dry shampoo and hair in a bun. (I'm luckily not client facing). Is this weird? In the two months my kid has been in daycare I've only seen one other parent dressed like this, but the rest looked like they were going into work. Do other work from home parents get fully dressed for daycare? submitted by /u/Main-Requirement-45 [link] [comments]”

“My oldest child is 3 and is going to a new school for preK next month. She’s been at the same daycare since she was a baby. Her sibling is there and we’re attached to the teachers and families. The new school does not offer aftercare, so we will be doing aftercare at a different school close by. The aftercare facility offers transportation and will be driving her from location to location. She will have a couple friends at the aftercare. I don’t think we know anyone at the new school. I know thi”

“Our daycare search is very limited by the proximity by walk and by their availability. Every family daycare we visited seems to have some issue, how much weight do parents give to these? D1 - Some orange flags during a visit including daycare saying they dont allow/discouraged parents to do drop-in checks although its a law in our state. Said something like kid has to be sleep trained before joining which seems harsh for a 5 mo old needing a bit of rocking for naps (D2,D3 said needing assistance”

“I am a SAHM but I live at least an hour away from everyone I know with kids remotely his age, and they are relatives not interested in hanging out with me. I get it, I had my kid late and I never hung out with them before because I didn't have kids! 😅 I can't seem to find any moms around here either. But I see a LOT of ads in my community group for in-home daycares. I thought, maybe this is the way to get my son used to other children and help him socialize? He's 15 months old. Or a”

submitted by /u/Planty_Ground5164 [link] [comments]

“I am thinking about sending my 21-month-old to daycare. Our nanny situation didn't work out as expected. I work from home, so she's been staying home with me. She does have a little bit of stranger anxiety when she's around new adults. She can eat mostly independently, but I have to be there to encourage her. Otherwise, she would just eat the veggie, rice, and fruit. I also have to feed her meat/fish first, then veggie, rice and finally fruit. I can't put everything in the same p”

“I am considering putting my son in 3/4 day a week daycare when he turns 1 next month. We recently got a subsidy from our county so it would be free. Currently my grandparents watch him the two days I go into the office. I went and looked at a place today. I really liked it but since he would be in the toddler room it seemed like they were expecting him to be pretty independent. He’s not walking yet, he can feed himself a bit but not 100%. He still does about 24oz of formula. The center doesn’t d”

“Looking for advice/experience from anyone who has gone from a center to a home daycare/preschool for an older child. My family is planning to relocate and we have identified a few daycare options for our kiddo. We are weighing between a center-based daycare (preschool group age 3-5, class size up to 20) and a Montessori-inspired home daycare (age 2-4, group size up to 8). Our LO has been at a center full time since age 1 and has thrived, first in a 1-3 yo group of 10-14 kids, then a 3-6 yo group”

“I’m just so irritated as a whole because I have a kid in preschool and an infant in need of a daycare. I live in NYC where you think childcare would be of abundance — but not for working parents. My husband and I both work and our oldest is currently in preschool. The daycare not far away doesn’t accept private paying parents and we don’t qualify for any childcare assistance because we both work. Our only option really is to switch our oldest to a different preschool in an area in which there is”

“Good morning Daddit Looking for opinions from level heads because I know my emotions are high. My son is in daycare. Overall, it’s amazing. We love the place and especially the new teacher. However, the new teacher was out yesterday and someone else was watching my son’s group. My son was there for 8 hours and came home in the same diaper. In itself, a wet diaper isn’t a major thing. However, it leads to the question of what else was neglected. My son directly asks for a dry diaper after every p”

“TLDR: does anyone have thoughts or perspective on when daycare may be better than a meh stay at home parent when kids are past the baby stage. I’m the breadwinner and earn 4x what my husband could. Husband has ADHD and even treated, it’s still really apparent. Two kids 4 and 1. I WFH and am off at 230p Husband started staying at home when my oldest was 11 months after some really rough childcare experiences. Then oldest dropped all naps at 15 months (15m nap would mean 10p bedtime and he was hap”

“Hi! My 4.5 month old will be starting day care soon and (like every other parent I’m sure) I’m incredibly nervous and honestly having a hard time coping emotionally. Even though I do really like the daycare we picked out I’m so so worried about how he’ll do not having me 8 hours a day. Would love to here any advice/recommendations about the following: - did you do anything in particular that you believed set your child up for success in daycare before they started? - did you do anything that you”

“My baby is almost 2 and just started daycare instead of having grandparents watch him. We struggled to find a daycare that we could afford, but we found an in.home daycare that is lovely. The woman who runs it has 3 older kids that go to school but still count as part of her numbers so at maximum she can only have 7 kids, so it's a nice small group. We have to pay whether or not he goes every day so my husband and I decided we should send him every day since we are paying for it. I know that”

“Does anyone have advice on finding and keeping babysitters when you have a high energy toddler (most likely has adhd like his mama!) and a baby? We’re offering more than market rate and making it very clear he’s high energy but still struggling to find a reliable sitter for one weekend day a month. We have our family room totally toddler-proof and lots of outdoor toys. We are a screen-free family (we don’t even own a tv) submitted by /u/Western_Geologist_12 [link] [comments]”

“My son is 10 months old. I know him to be a very happy baby. He started daycare at roughly 6 months old and hasn't fully adapted yet. His naps are not good and the daycare says anytime they lie him down he wakes up within 10 min. They also jokingly complain that he always wants attention and doesnt like if their attention is diverted away from him. I try to be very attentive to my son. I like to play with him and especially since I am working full time I try to give him as much of my attenti”

“I'm on the (very long) waitlist for the top daycare center in our area. They're doing an expansion and there may be a spot for my baby in a couple months. Recently, we started LO at a home daycare. Initially we were concerned because the house seemed kind of cramped (but she does school pickup/drop off, goes to the library, the park, etc), so they're out of the house a bunch. The most kids she will have during the day is 5, but then she has other kids before/after school. She obvious”

“I'm seeking some advice/reassurance for my son who just transitioned over to a new preschool. He's 20mo and has been in daycare since he was 7mo. His last daycare was nice. It was with an older woman, in her house. She had no more than 5 kids at a time, with most days it just being 3-4 kids. My son had a tough time when he first started there but was fine after a month. Even so, the crying was minimal. We recently (2 weeks ago) transitioned him over to a Montessori preschool which is a l”

“Or do you work opposite schedule of your partner? Family helping us isnt an option so daycare or nanny would be the only choice, but salaries around here are so low that a part time job wouldnt pay for daycare so, I really dont understand how people do this. Would love any insight! Thank you submitted by /u/maeasm3 [link] [comments]”

“Our first child started daycare at 3 months a few weeks ago. There are 8 babies in a room with 2 adults. Everything seems fine, it's 3 minutes away, everyone seems nice, they send lots of pictures, etc. It feels like they could use a little more one on one attention, but obviously they're pretty busy with 4 to care for at once. We were expecting sickness but didn't expect it this much. She got sick the first week (and gave it to us), the third week (and gave it to us, just as we were”

“Okayyy so we are starting in a home daycare after a failed center based daycare was not the vibe. I’m optimistic but want advice on a system for communication. Our nanny has always used a whiteboard to write down milk/solids/nap times. The center based used an app. What’s a reasonable solution to ask the home daycare provider to do? I really like to know how much milk she drank at each feeding and when she slept/wokeup. ETA: my baby is the only baby - the other kids are older toddlers and don’t”

“Hello All! I currently stay at home with my toddler and have another baby on the way. My husband and I both agreed that I'd stay home with the kids until both of them were in school and, after that, I'd head back into the work force. My husband is a very motivated man who is incredibly smart, talented, and dedicated. He's found a field that he's not necessarily passionate about but it keeps him on his toes and he's fabulous at it. He's wanting me to find the same and is a”

“Hey Daddit! Long time lurker first time poster. My wife and I are expecting our first this winter. We have started looking for daycares and I wanted to get the community’s perspective on what your daily daycare commutes have been like. We’ve narrowed it down to two places, one is cheaper, in home, but seems perfect in all other regards and is a 10-15 minute drive (about 2 miles in Chicago). The other is about $200 more per week, but is a 6 minute walk, is a center, also seems like a great spot.”

“My husband and I both work and are moving to a new town soon. Our baby is in daycare in our current town. We spent a lot of time touring daycares and asking questions and we were even on waitlists before we got into this one. Now that we're moving, it feels like we have to start all over again, but we don't have as much time. Also all the wait-list are 6+ months long and we need to move in 4 months. What are we supposed to do in the meantime - nanny? We can't quite afford it...”

“Looking for any sort of advice/wisdom/sage counsel. I'm a mom to two - a 4.5-year-old and a BF'ing 13-month-old. I'm a SAHM, but I WFH part-time for my friend's company. It's very flexible, but I do have to work most weekends and post-bedtime hours to finish the bare minimum during busier seasons. I don't have any regular childcare set up, mostly because it feels like my work needs are too irregular and... my paycheck would literally *just* cover the cost of childcare. I&”

“My son is 16 months old. He has been with his daycare for quite some time. We know and have known that his daycare tries to follow a fairly strict regimen to make sure that they are developing and as successful as possible. My husband and I both work full time in demanding jobs so we really appreciate this. One of the things that they are strict with is utensils. By 16 months, they need to be able to scoop food and bring it to their mouths and if they drop the food or spoon or whatever, the staf”

“I’m a first time mom to be, so i’m just curious if New parents have struggled to find Community offering in the evenings and weekends that are supportive of parents who also have to work a 9 to 5 job. I’m sure this varies in Community to Community.. I live in a fairly large city, and in my preliminary search is for things like exercise classes that are focused on supporting of moms and babies, they are only offered during the work day. I get that the providers want to have nights and weekends fr”

“If you added up all of the time you’ll get with parents before they age, it likely won’t be as much as you think. Any opportunity to be close to them and have your child know them will be irreplaceable. Seattle and Cali aren’t going anywhere and being FI gives you guys a lot of options.”

“My little one is scheduled to start daycare in a couple of weeks when my maternity leave ends. I’m just wondering how you send in all the stuff like diapers and clothes? Do you send in a labeled diaper bag with everything? Individual gallon ziplock bags that are labeled? Also how much do I send at one time? Do I send like a case of diapers? Just enough for a week at a time? How do ya’ll handle that? submitted by /u/More-Suspect6738 [link] [comments]”

“My baby just started daycare and they don’t have cameras there. I am freaking out a little because I heard a bunch of horror stories, and I need to know my baby is safe and well taken care of. I was thinking about planting a mini recording device in his daycare bag, and wanted to see what everybody’s thoughts are about it. Thanks submitted by /u/One-Squirrel-4563 [link] [comments]”

“Slightly emotionally charged post so I’ll try to keep it short but I need answers so bad. We’ve been on a waitlist for a year at our preferred daycare and they have an opening, baby is 8 months old now and has been at another facility for 4ish months and likes all of her caregivers. I’m torn at if moving her is the right choice because it would upset routine, her bonds with staff, etc BUT there have been several occasions where I’m so mad at the staff I want to quit my job and never bring her ba”

“Slightly emotionally charged post so I’ll try to keep it short but I need answers so bad. We’ve been on a waitlist for a year at our preferred daycare and they have an opening, baby is 8 months old now and has been at another facility for 4ish months and likes all of her caregivers. I’m torn at if moving her is the right choice because it would upset routine, her bonds with staff, etc BUT there have been several occasions where I’m so mad at the staff I want to quit my job and never bring her ba”

“I feel terrible for not starting her in K4 with half days. I highly suggest doing so, for anyone who reads this, especially if they've never done daycare. Instead, she was thrown into the full-day grinder for her first school experience. She has cried nearly every morning as I take her to the school doors, and when I ask her what's wrong, she'll say "I won't see you for a while and I'll miss you." Breaks my heart.. Often she will wake up on her own before 6:30am, bu”

“My son recently switched over from daycare to “the best” preschool in our area. Had to do a 9 month parent and tot program to get him in. Before drops offs he always asks to go to other school and asks for his daycare teacher and friends from daycare. It’s breaking my heart. At the same time he’s happy going into the classroom and I haven’t heard him struggling. He turned 3 over the summer. Should I switch him back or give it time? Anyone experienced this? submitted by /u/HotProgramm”

“How are you finding reliable, safe, experienced people to watch your kids? We recently moved to a new city and don't know many people yet. I want to get someone to watch my 2 kids (3.5yr & 1yr) once or twice a month for an occasional evening work event or a date night with my husband. Any advice on how you found your trusted babysitter? submitted by /u/whatthewaaaaat [link] [comments]”

“Hi everyone! I’m privileged enough to be able to stay home with my baby until he turns 6 months old (he’s 3 months now, and I’m slowly transitioning back part-time with family helping out, but full-time daycare is fast approaching). I have all the standard daycare anxieties, but one of my biggest worries right now is feedings . At home, he is fed strictly on demand. He’s a frequent snacker, he prefers smaller, more frequent meals rather than giant bottles. When I pump for trial runs with family,”

“Hi moms, we’re in a middle of switching our 1.5 old from beloved nanny to daycare and it has been rough for her. Our nanny was absolutely best and made such a special bond with my daughter, but her new daycare is nice and seems to be neighborhood favorite and we were on waitlist for 2 years since I was preggo and recently our spot opened up so we decided to make a switch since she is old enough and logistically it made more sense so we don’t have to wait another 2-3 years on waitlist. If you had”

“I've been talking to a lot of working parents lately and kept hearing the same story — they're on 5+ waitlists, months deep, no movement. Then I started digging. Talked to a few people who actually got spots, and a pattern came up: t hey weren't at the top of the list. They just kept calling. One mom told me she called a center every week "just to check in." Got a spot in 6 weeks while others had been waiting 4 months. My theory: daycare directors are busy. They're not”

“I have lots of experience working with kids, but they're mostly 3-8 and I don't have them for very long compared to parenting. I feel like there's a lot I'm prepared for and a lot I'm clueless on. I would love any tips about feeding, sleeping, schedules for both, naps, potty training is a big one, tantrums, child proofing and keeping him safe, all of that. I do have a great support system and access to a lot of great resources, but I'm a bit stressed about when it'll”

“Hello! I have a 15 mo toddler and I’m have two job opportunities available to me. I’m already struggling to manage working full time and manage family so I’m struggling to decide which position. My husband has a demanding big job that requires a lot of night meetings. We are struggling with the realization that one of the jobs open to me right now has a lot more room for long term career growth, but a lot less flexibility for me to manage baby. I won’t be able to do daycare drop or pickup and it”