Children Experiencing Parental Trauma

“So I (23F) have been dealing with a relapse with depression for around 1.5 years now. I’m on medication and was getting better but started going downhill a few months ago due to pressure from approaching the end of my college years, worrying about finding a job, etc. So I had a bit of a panic attack today thinking I might fail one of my classes cause I skipped some practices when I couldn’t force myself to go and I talked to my bestfriend (24M) about this and he helped me talk to the teacher, ex”

“Where do I even start, well I am on the autistic spectrum, and have struggled with depression and anxiety for a long time. I had a very shitty upbringing and never really had any secure parenting, even the people who raised me were deluded and I still resent them. I am married but we recently decided to eventually separate, we met about a year after I got out of the military and I became very ill a couple of months later, which sped up our relationship and were married within a year, but sadly I”

“Im 15M Nothing in my life has changed, ever. I got S.A when I was 8 by my own Father, I get bullied all the time when I’m in school, and I’ve never been complimented, asked out, hugged or anything like that in my entire life. All im saying is knife and staples. Thats it. If that doesn’t work and I wuss out, im going to my bridge, and you already know what means. I’ve wrote everything down if someone does find me. Im terrified for what im doing but I have the urge to genuinely do it. The big ques”

“The combination of two unstable people is astonishing in how many ways it can damage a child. For me, nothing good came from it. I think a lot of who I am today was built from surviving things I was never supposed to experience in the first place. Sometimes I wonder how much of my personality is actually mine and how much of it was created as a response to the people around me. I once heard a quote from The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer by Jennifer Lynch: “My life is whatever the other person in”

“please get help. I didn't and it culminated in me being chased by police then taken for a mental hold in a phyc unit. I wish I had tried to the outpatient iop group i was placed in after that stay before it had gotten so bad. I had to give up breastfeeding but it was so worth it for my kids to still have their mom. I know it can seem overwhelming but you being alive for them is so much more important. look into postpartum support groups definitely check in with your provider on meds which th”

“I am a fat girl and my mother fat shames me a lot, she says no one will marry you and because I don't have a job I have to stay at my parents house and no one in the entire world understands me. I have friends but I can't share these things with them. Earlier she used to say, my thinking was like it's ok she is saying for my benefit only but now my mental health is affecting a lot. She complains to my father that she didn't workout today. I sleep around 1-2 am and wake up at 10-1”

“So this is a very difficult topic for me, idk why in writing this but if someone is reading this: you are loved and strong. Anyways i never really talked about it with anyone until about a week ago und Also didn't wanted to think about it until then. I was sexually asaulted by someone in my family a few years older multiple times when I was about 9-11 years old. I don't want to go into detail here but I'm a dude and she was a girl (that's also why I'm afraid to talk about it”

“I have never shared this with anyone because I find it so embarrassing but I feel I need to discuss it. I am a 25 year old gay dude who had a very rocky childhood. My mom was a teen mom and my dad was a drug addict. They divorced when I was 3 and since my mom ended up homeless, my dad got full custody. After that, I never had a mother figure. As a kid I always got attached to my female teachers. Even as a teenager I was attached to my English teacher because she was strict but caring. Now as an”

“If even one person here could relate that would mean the world to me. 15 year old here and: I can't even walk. It's a chore to walk. I can barely get up from my bed to the bathroom, due to the constant stomach, rib, back pain from my nerve and digestive disorders. It's also due to my mental health in the gutters, I'm miserable from how long I've been sick. I have no mental will or ability to do basic activities like draw even. Opening computer tabs even feels tiring dude. whe”

“I went out with my mom and sister today. We do this often because we don't live with her. Normaly my mother insults me at least once but today she just...didn't? Its just so weird. I can't figure out why she didn't do it today. She did it every time she saw me for years. I was so nervous the whole day just for nothing to happen. I can't even put my feelings into words. Am i uneasy? I can't realy tell. submitted by /u/dokufreak01 [link] [comments]”

“[Not looking for pity, just needed to finally say all of this somewhere] When I was a child, I suffered from an abusive mother. From around age 3 to 12, I was beaten almost every day. Bruises becoming black or violet felt normal to me. Sometimes I got hit because of my siblings' mistakes, and I honestly never understood why I seemed to be the biggest target. All of us suffered, but I probably took the most hits. My father worked two jobs and was often gone until past midnight. He tried to st”

“This is about my brother who assaulted me all the time as a kid and you know he gets to live and enjoy life and be so normal and loved and well adjusted while I'm the one who gets to suffer and continuously try to die and be the weird person who can't get over their brother. I got everything taken away from me because of him and he won't even spare me closure it's not fair it's not fair at all. Why is it only me who gets to be like this why can't he be too?? All I can thi”

“I hope it’s okay to ask this here. I’m 23F and I’m trying to understand something I’ve noticed in myself recently. My mother is an alcoholic, so I’ve always been scared of ending up with the same issues. I’ve had a tendency to depend on alcohol to make social situations easier for me. Recently I’ve realised I’m basically only social when I’m kind of drunk. I like the slightly tipsy version of myself best. I’m more comfortable, more talkative, and I feel confident interacting with people. But now”

“I (31FTM) have had a very strained relationship with my father. I always admired him until i realized he was not someone I wanted to grow up like. He is emotionally abusive and will only try to make amends when he needs me to do something for him. I never get an apology for his actions but If i draw a boundary for context I am Hispanic and there is a lot of machismo and homophobia. He has never liked me being gay and when i did come out to him before moving out almost 10 years ago he said “A hug”

“they told me to take pills but my mom didn't want to, actually she was paying for them but just to be seen as a good parent in front of the doctors”

“TLDR: My oldest daughter fabricated wild lies about me to her school counselor, and got CPS and law enforcement called on me. Then admitted she lied, and didn't care one bit about it. This is long, so forgive me... and it is mainly just me getting stuff off my chest since this is something my wife and I aren't wanting to broadcast openly IRL... but fuck, fellow dads. I have 3 kids - my 16yo stepson, 11yr old daughter, and 5yr old daughter. My 5yr old daughter has multiple brain tumors (b”

“I yelled at my kid a lot when she was one and two years old up until maybe like 2 1/2 not when she was a baby but when she was a toddler only. So now that i am trying to escape depression and give her boundaries instead of letting her watch tv all day i get hit a lot. When she starts i sit her down and if she comes running to me ran into me and slap me i push back so she sits on the floor. I am tired of this dynamic. It is stressing me out and once again I am finding myself depressed. Everything”

“i grew up wanting to die since the age of eight. i didn't know why because i thought my parents were great, and just occasionally abusive. and only at around 15-16 their abusiveness really hit the ceiling and i started realising something is wrong, but i thought i could live on autopilot and just move out one day. and only now at 19, when my parents have mellowed and i am studying abroad, that i started self-reflecting, and that's when all my insecurities came to bite me in the ass. i&#3”

“Idk if this makes sense but as time goes on I have this gut feeling that something traumatic happened when I was around 4-7, I can remember some school small things but in particular my mom had a bf and I cannot remember anything that ever happened when he was around. I know it’s normal to not remember that young but before even knowing repressed memories were a thing I behaved as if I had been through something and that is the age (according to others) I suddenly got irritable. If something did”

“I am 24M currently a medicine student in university. I come from a bit of a troubled family. We often had money issue and dad would sometimes take his anger on me using physical and verbal abuse as discipline. I grew up feeling unloved and scared and often bullied at school. Had Two heart surgeries at 8 and 16 year old. At 18 I moved to the city with my dad to go to university. I was overwhelmed by the amount of people and anxious too. I didn’t talk much with my peers because I was afraid of the”

“My mom knows, she was the one who went to the police, but she insist on therapy. She thinks it’s the cure for everything in the world, not sure if I agree”

“Single parent living with an elementary school kid here. I’ve been renting this place for six years after leaving an abusive relationship, but yesterday my landlord told me he’s looking to sell and we might have to move soon. Logically, I know moving shouldn’t be too devastating since we live in a small city (I’ll try my best to stay in the same neighbourhood), and we’ll create new memories together, but the thought of leaving this chapter behind still makes me bawl my eyes out every chance I ge”

“basically my mom abandoned me for some fuck ass man n i live with my grandma now (there’s a lot more to that but that’s the jist of it all) now onto the vent….i don’t understand how she can have me inside of her body for 9 fucking months “raise me” (she really didn’t do that) and still abandoned me after 16 fucking years all i wanted was a mom to love me and care for me yes i have other women figures in my life but that’s not the point the point is how can someone have a child and just push it o”

“I’m 14f and constantly , CONSTANTLY argue with my parents. Every day it’s something. They twist my words they gaslight me they manipulate me. I have no energy to do anything. Ever. Like I’m in so many extracurriculars as soon as I get home and do homework I’m exhausted. I have struggled with mental health for a long, long time. My parents don’t care until it starts affecting them. My room is messy, I don’t do laundry, etc. that’s usually what the arguments are about. they’ve told me multiple tim”

“Hi everyone , I am a 33 year old female and have been interested in therapy recommendations . I was emotionally abused (think black sheep) , raised by an emotionally absent mother and absent father , domestic violence household , heavily bullied in school and have never experienced romantic love. I suffer with autoimmune disease, deep loneliness, sadness , and heavy self esteem issues. I have tried talk/cbt therapy but I am very self aware and also feel like I need something more in depth that e”

“You were a kid reacting to being hurt, you can't hold that against yourself forever”

“Just today my mom saw the cuts on my forearm, some hours later I found her crying in the bathroom, when I asked her about It she said: "I failed as a mother". I comforted her, but now im questioning myself... Why do I suffer? Just to make my mom cry and question herself? There's nothing so serious happening, just pressure from university, research, exams, realizing no one other than my mom thinks im the special one, that person that when you hear the sound of notification you alrea”

“Hi! I'm experiencing an issue when it comes to fight/flight/freeze response. I came from a home that was quite hard to navigate around, and in general abusive. my entire life i was on constant fight or flight basically. But a year ago, i moved in with my wife across the world away from my entire family. I have absolutely no reason to be in fight or flight around my wife, its like im finally safe. The issue is that in certain times she will ask me something, or ask me if i did x thing, and i”

“I have a very roguely abusive father. Very abusive as much as any worse you may see on the street. He is the worst and always finds ways to abuse and make u feel little and ugly about yourself. And a mother who was already evil, and now evolved equal to my father to cope with his abuse. I lost my partner to suicide this year. he helped me a lot while i came separately to live with him but the residue evil i had in me from growing up in such an evil and ugly family, killed his light. I feel the w”

“Growing up as a single child, I was raised with tough, authoritarian parenting. Elders were always right, I was always wrong and disobedient. All the beatings and scoldings I got have left deep scars inside me. My extended family has been involved in legal issues and I never really knew my cousins, elder or younger. I found solace in being alone. But now as I try to raise my own daughter, I am trying to be more mindful and intentional about how I raise her. But I have little to no reference for”

“Hello. So I don't know where to start but my mom is having mental problems. She has been feeling down lately, well I don't know for how long. But I remember she would say when she's old, she wants to be alone/isolated and live in the mountains. Now I always thought that she just wanted a peaceful lonely quiet life, so I was fine with it and I got worried because she would follow up with that she would send letters or messages sometimes. Anyways earlier, she told me that if she disapp”

“Sorry if this is not the right place to post this, as I’m technically not a parent. I (M26) recently got custody of my 13 year old brother after he was removed from our mother’s care. Without going into all the messy family details, I’ve met this kid maybe 3 times in my life and I was just about the last option before foster care. He’s been with me for 2 weeks and I think we’re both completely lost. I have no idea what to do with a teenager, let alone a traumatized kid who’s never had stability”

“I am 19 F and have been maladaptive daydreaming for the last 13 years. While my family played a huge role in this but i think so, me myself is more responsible for it. My dad was born in a poor joint family. Siblings of his own and 20 other people.Farmer dad who would never speak up for his wellness and children future and narcissist mother who never cared about son only care about her daughters and grandchildren. Poor background and all this turned my dad into a narcissist , judgemental , emoti”

“TL:DR version, insurance decided not to pay for my sons (admittedly horrific, and low chance of survival) birth, had to sell my home to cover all the 55 day NICU stay and moved in with my parents as a stop gap until we could pay everything off. I have evidence of my female family members abusing my wife and son. I'm try to find a way to get them on a psych hold without getting them arrested and put on nasty DV charges. My dad is is dying of cancer and needs a caretaker as well. The long vers”

“My home life during high school is the definition of my mess. Since my dad is toxic and refuses to acknowledge any wrong doing. I can't just write it in the additional information section. He's gonna helicopter me in college apps. and will make sure that he gets to see everything I put down. I wanna know if my highschool counselor can send an email? submitted by /u/IBelongInFiction [link] [comments]”

“Thanks op!! Don't be sorry. My mom and I have pretty much resolved that matter. And she did say sorry to me later. It's just that despite that I can't get those words out of mind. It's like a broken cd player keep repeating in my mind.”

“I have experienced physical abuse for years in childhood from a close extended family member. and there was no emotional support at that time from anyone both my parents were living far away from me.I told people about it before, but I never really expressed everything I felt. Now, when someone in my family speaks to me harshly, my body shakes and my voice trembles. I don't understand why I react this way, and I want help processing it. And a way how to deal with this feeling so I became com”

“I was Sa’ed when I was age 5 to age 11, alot by the same guy. Because I was so young it took me a very long time to process what truly happend to me, it wasnt untill I was a teen that I really came to terms with it. And the fact I really went through this, I tell myself it doesnt effect me. And it was so long ago, I dont have the right to really care about it anymore. I can tell myself im over it, and be a really happy person. But then there are times, when I will go into my room and bawl my eye”

“I just had a fight with my dumbass of a mother. I don't even remember what lead to the fight but to cut it short she thinks thai people aren't asian. I did some research and it said thai people originated from China a very very long time ago and then they migrated. Thailand is from south-east Asia it said so by literal common sense thai people are in fact asian. Asian doesn't just mean Japanese and chinese people it means every sub culture and ethnicity in Asia. If you're chinese”

“This happened almost a year ago when we had a huge fight and I called her a bitch bc she was intentionally keeping me isolated with everyone and since then I stopped talking to her but then currently my situation is really bad financially that I had to talk to her again. She has always been abusive towards me but it got out of hand when I caught her punching and throwing stuff at her own mother. A lot happened last year and now it's a very awkward relationship between me and her. She has bee”

“Over the last two years my body has changed drastically. Im a 16 year old trans boy and ive had several eating disorders over the years. Between the ages of 11 and 12 I was pretty restrictive in my eating, then from 13 to 15 I was binge eating, and at 15 1/2 I went on a calorie deficit. It worked pretty well, I was eating 500 calories a day. But it just got to expensive buying salad kits so I couldn't keep up. Im 16 now and ill be turning 17 in November. The last time I weighed myself I was”

“When I was 9 years old, my mother and father broke up, my mother became severely depressed (a fact I didn't realise until I was around 18). I sort of was left on my own, looking after my brother who was 2 years younger than me. My dad was always supportive, we didn't talk for a year or so because my mother sort of turned me against him and lied to me about things he had done (my mother is much better now and she has apologised time and time again and we're very close now). I have an”

“Idk why im posting this I didnt tell her first but my mom (if that woman even deserves the title) found out and slapped me. Her first reaction is always to slap me since childhood when major things happen. Real great. Pretty conservative family and everyone has anger issues. She's had therapists and meds but doesn't believe in them. I'm just tired of the hassle of telling someone all of the stuff so I don't invest in that. I think I need it though. Stress is taking over a lot. I&”

normal among asian parents

“literally do whatever the fuck u can to cope until ur 18 and then get therapy. if it gets too bad, call cps”

“Hi everyone, i don’t know if this is the right place to post but i need help and i don’t know who to ask. I lost my mom due to lung cancer last month, the past year has been very difficult and losing her has been the worst but i wont get into that. I am mostly worried about my 12 year old sister because i dont know how raise her, she has a shaky foundation because my mom was sick the past years so there wasnt much (positive) attention on her. Now i need help with discipline, safety and everythin”

“I had an experience where I was yelled at for it basically. It doesn’t change anything it just creates resentment between parent and child. I’m sorry your parents reacted like that, when you get older remember you get more of a choice of who you keep in your life and near your heart ❤️”

“This is more of a vent post. Maybe someone out there can relate to my struggle. Ah yes family trauma and feeling of isolation has hit me like a truck. I knew for a while that 98% is really bad but sometimes it makes me feel a sense of grief. For context, I had to cut off all my family except for my parents due to various reasons such as betrayal or toxicity. My relationship with parents is also a bit complicated especially with my dad. I feel like I lack support and have no one to go to when thi”

“I have a really complicated relationship with my father. He can be extremely ableist and wasn’t very supportive when I was diagnosed with Graves or anything at all having to do with my mental illness. He almost died in June because he was anemic and his levels were so low. He has since had multiple infusions and taken iron pills and feels much better, but it’s recommended that he gets a colonoscopy. He has a history of alcoholism, GI issues, and I remember a brief scare on prostate cancer. He go”

“My life could have and should have been prevented. Nothing about me is normal or good, i was an accident, i wasn't even born normally, it was by C-section. My parents split up after my birth, strange huh? Don't remember doing well in kindergarten, got bullied in my early school years for being different, did bad in every subject. Didn't have many friends, everyone looked down upon me and saw me as an idiot, which looks to me that i am. Had to do summer school in math, the only one in”

“It's one thing being schizophrenic but it's another to get abused or emotionally and verbally abused by your parents and sister. The thing is all my life i wanted a family that loved me. I got parents that never said: " wow son u worked hard on this" instead they kept saying i could do better each time. Don't get me wrong my parents were good providers but whenever I had problems I was ignored. So emotionally and supportively I had no one. The thing is despite me having a m”

“Where do I begin, I have to deal with my horrible narcissistic mother that seems to care for only herself and not for any of her kids. She hounds me for not doing anything even though I graduated and blasting out my resume but she yells at me saying that I’m lazy. At this point, she’s using me to vent her frustrations. My middle brother has anger issues and has nearly assaulted me and my family put the blame on me when I wanted him to keep calm. The whole family turns a blind eye and when he doe”

“I was 14 when this first started(17 now). I’ve always been into MMA and training, and it’s still my passion that I can’t pursue at all, however I was training when I was 14. It was perfect and everything I’d ever asked for. One day, I got a call saying my grandfather passed away a couple states away, the same grandfather that raised me when my mother couldn’t. I went up to Jersey to attend his funeral and what not, and after I came back I was in the darkest place I’d ever been in. This event cau”

“I got in a car accident when I was younger and developed brain damage as a result.I cant do anything by myself because of the pain,fatigue & memory issues i have. I cant cook,I cant clean or take care of anything. Im so upset all the time at my situation that I spend most days crying around her or asking reassurance questions due to ocd i deleveoped later in life as a result of the accident. I just dont know what to do,shes said many times that her life has been awful since I got sick and cr”

“I’m 19 and I live in the uk, a few weeks ago we got a emergency alert on all of our phones to do with wildfires but unfortunately the message was sent in Welsh first and not English and so my parents who cant read Welsh, thought we were going to get bombed and die and afterwards when the English version of the message came through they were still talking about it and treating it like a joke. I really want to move out and live with my boyfriend sometime but I don't think its realistic for me”

“I am 23,M my mother and father never appreciated for anything I did. Not even for my grades not even for the money I made not even for the things I have. They consider this is just a waste. I really feel bad why I am doing all this. There is not even a single person to appreciate me for the things I have done. Not even single I feel very very much lonely I am just doing things what I can focus on making money. But I never got appreciated for anything I do everything is considered waste. What sho”

“my relationship with my brother is much better now, fortunately. both of us worked toward improving ourselves and our relationship. this kind of thing is impossible without effort from both sides. i sincerely hope your situation gets better. that's a rough spot to be in.”

“Its not your fault you were exposed to any of this Dare i say it was your parents because they didnt care enough”

“Hi, I really need to talk about this because this is genuinely deteriorating my mental health. Im starting high school next week, and all my mother has done all summer and all last year is just kick me while im already down. I am not over exaggerating when i say every single conversation we have had has been related to school, getting good grades, or about my looks. I am genuinely so done. Not once has she told me she loves me, that she’s proud, that she will be there to support me. I feel scare”