New Moms Left Without Help After Giving Birth

“Just gave birth to baby almost two weeks ago. I ended up having a homebirth that went well. The first 24 hours were tired as baby didnt sleep and we had to go to the hospital for some shots. I am a ftm trying to set boundaries w my own family (live 2.5 hrs away) and in laws specifically in access to my postpartum space (and future access to baby). Please give me any thoughts and maybe a middle ground train of thought. I started ghosting my family and in laws close to my due date bc they started”

“I’m going back to work after my 3rd week off post birth. My wife had a c section and has been able to walk since day 1 but says she can’t bend down enough to do most baby related items. For example she can’t take her in and out of the bassinet, can’t pickup something that fell etc. I’m worried she isn’t going to be ready when I go back to work. OB has said she’s fine to do that stuff but she’s refusing to. It’s been a really long 3 weeks of doing everything. submitted by /u/allknowin”

“My partner, great guy, loving father partner blah blah blah, but in the typical male fashion....a little clueless. I had my baby almost 6 months ago. My healing afterwards has been slower than I could have imagined. I could barely get out of bed for the first month. I have worked so hard at physio to get to where I am now. I am finally comfortable. My partner had two separate surgeries on both his heels a few years ago. He was also bed bound during the healing phase and the healing process was s”

“I very well could just be being overly emotional about this, if that’s the case feel free to let me know. When I had my daughter, I was induced at night and was given sleep meds and pitocin around midnight. I woke up at 3 am with painful contractions and let my husband continue to sleep. He woke up in the early morning on his own, around 5:30. He stayed awake with me then and I gave birth at 11:30 that morning. I was nursing the baby pretty much that whole day and in lots of pain from that and o”

“I have a 3 month old baby and my husband has been deployed since I was 5 months pregnant. My emotions are all over the place. I am almost mourning my past emotional stability along with the fact that it feels like the early newborn days were the three of us stay in our little bubble was robbed. Does this get better? I want my family together again. submitted by /u/Nic-g2841 [link] [comments]”

“Hello, all. Five months postpartum. I have a lot of support, but this is still really, really hard. I am an artist and small business owner, and before having a baby, I dedicated a lot of time to my work, many crafty hobbies, and outdoor sports. I knew that having a baby would be a big sacrifice, but I find myself wondering if I’ll ever get to enjoy those things again? How do mothers work and make art? Also, I am not getting very much sleep, and I feel myself deteriorating. I am so much less res”

“I had a difficult end of my pregnancy and I had a very very difficult postpartum. Some context is that I'm both physically & psychiatric disabled. I manage alright but it's a struggle everyday. Ive only been pregnant once and my beautiful daughter came from that pregnancy. When I first found out i was pregnant I was scared but eventually came around to enjoying it a little. Mostly because my relationship with my husband had never been better. The thing is that I had spent basically n”

“My LO is almost 9 weeks old. EBF since birth. I'm gonna share some background info for context. Went into spontaneous labor at 38w5d and she was breech since 30w so I gave birth via C-section. No other issues in my pregnancy or birth other than going into labor a week before my scheduled c-section was supposed to take place. Baby weighed exactly 7lb at birth. Latched right away, milk came in before leaving hospital. By the time we left the hospital 4 days later, she was 6.5lb. That weight lo”

“Hi. I’m recently postpartum like 4-5 days ago had my baby. I was expecting the emotional side of the hormone crash but not the physical. I feel okay emotionally so far and have a great care team and husband to look out for any concerning signs as I really struggled with prenatal depression. I’ve been having weird physical symptoms though and am curious what other physical symptoms other people have had. For more context my milk just came in as well. Sometimes when I stand up I’ll lose my hearing”

“I'm feeling very down. I'm almost 8 months postpartum and I can't be alone with my baby for a whole day. I breakdown very easily. I am definitely not complaining about having help of which I know I am extremely lucky - I just feel like a failure of a mom that I can't manage a whole day with my baby. Just to mention I'm on meds for anxiety and depression (I was before and during pregnancy) and I'm in therapy. Just wanted to reach out and see if others feel this way.”

“I don’t recommend it but like many others, desperation takes over sometimes I had to go right back to work after having #2 because I had to save maternity for when his OHS was scheduled. He wouldn’t sleep more than 1.5-2 hours because of breastfeeding and I was working five 12s qualify for time off. I was either going to die or make a mistake at work I’d have the baby monitor pointed at us so my husband could check on us when he was up, baby wore the owlet, and I did the safe 7 but it still made”

“fellow induction/preemie/NICU moms/parents chime in here pls but anyone is welcome to give advice. also i'm too tired to check for typos, i apologize in advance. I was diagnosed with sudden onset severe preeclampsia at 35 weeks to the day. they got me on magnesium and all this other crap and said that i had to be induced. i agreed with this, thats not the problem here at all, but just everything that went down is fucking with my head. now, idk if you've ever had the mag but fucking hell”

“Whyyyyy is part of my baby blues missing the hospital so much? I LOVED my nurses and love my OB. I just feel home sick for those couple days again 😂 My birth wasn’t even what I had wanted at all. I pushed for 4 hours then had a c section & it’s all a blur so I’m not even sure why that is happening. Hormones are weird. submitted by /u/TransportationOk8245 [link] [comments]”

“I’m 9 months post partum and I feel like my heartrate jumps every time I stand up with baby. submitted by /u/greenishfroggy [link] [comments]”

“Friends please give me your anecdotes, advice, good vibes, anything about being a mom of 2, especially with a ~21 month age gap, and especially with c-section recovery while caring for a baby + toddler (I am not eligible for a VBAC). We planned to start trying for #2 next summer, but I guess the universe had other plans, despite our precautions. We are both very nervous, but hope that excitement will follow very soon.. submitted by /u/Still-Humor-5028 [link] [comments]”

“It's been 3 weeks since Baby was born, and my body's feeling physically more recovered, but I still feel so incapable of handling the normal basic activities of life. I feel exhausted with exclusively pumping and trying to help my gassy newborn learn to breastfeed. I feel like I spend all day in my room trying to feed her (nursing attempt and then bottle), trying to burp and calm her upset tummy, getting her back to sleep, and then pumping. Fortunately my husband is home and helping a lo”

“Hello, I have posted here a few times and I want to thank all of you kind people for always offering help. I am 9 months post-partum with my 2nd, and I just still feel like I am so far away from feeling like myself. I have a WONDERFRUL family, and 2 amazing, beautiful and EASY kids who both sleep through the night most of the time. I feel so guilty for having mental health issues, it effing sucks as I never had mental health issues prior to my trauma with my pregnancy losses years ago. I so badl”

“Hi guys I posted a few days ago in another sub about how my boyfriend was in the mental health hospital and I was struggling with anxiety. He's out now, I've seen my OB and been prescribed medicine for PPA but, I haven't been able to start it at all. Now this was an issue before my boyfriend went to the mental health facility but basically, I am my daughter's main care taker which was always the plan as I was meant to be a stay at home mom. My boyfriend has been the main provider”

“It’s taken me a while to find the courage to say this, but I feel like I need to be honest about how hurt I was by my hospital stay after giving birth. Because I work in a hospital, I see postpartum rooms filled with flowers, gifts, and families stepping up to help new moms leave comfortably. Sitting in that same room for three days without flowers, without celebration, and without any visits after the first day was deeply heartbreaking. I felt completely alone. especially with the hospital staf”

“I’ve been on leave for 5 months now. I go back to work next Monday and I’m ELATED. I love my baby. She’s the best. I had a loss before her so I truly feel so grateful to be a mama. But what the f’ing f. I’m tired, lonely, sad, empty, and overall just blah. I don’t ever have an appetite so I’m unintentionally continuously losing weight which I guess is a plus but I’m also pumping so I feel guilty knowing I’m not filling my body with nutrients for baby. I’m not young by any means but I’m also not”

“I recently had a friend give birth via emergency c section and she is out for lunch posting photos on social media less than a week after. Now I don’t want to be green eyed or come across negative as I am genuinely happy for her and glad she is doing so well but on the other hand it makes me feel like such a failure 😞. I struggled so hard after my c section and was crying often from the pain of looking after my newborn and recovering from surgery. Do you think it’s realistic that she is actuall”

“Hello all! I'm getting closer to my due date and I feel like he's going to come sooner than later. I need some help with postpartum care! What's better disposable diapers or postpartum underwear? And with the spray and witch hazel, do I put it in there even if i'm bleeding heavy, and how often do you change it or add more? Im very confused and could use all guidance! Gonna buy some stuff today! submitted by /u/miikarose [link] [comments]”

“In the UK bedrest is incredibly rare. Ive only ever seen one person be on bedrest in pregnancy whereas on the parenting subs here it seems common and I wonder if they are doing this. Like the doctor has said take it easy and theyve heard 'bedrest!' I have a lot of patients tell me their doctor has said for bedrest and I cant help but laugh every time. Our surgeons are NOT happy if patients arent up ASAP”

“Honestly, the first year with my baby has been really HARD for me. I feel like I’m going to lose my mind sometimes. I’m holding on to the thought that better times are coming. I imagine us going for walks, playing and having fun together. Please tell me about some sweet, funny or happy moments you had with your LO between 1 and 2 years old. I need some positive stories right now to look forward to ❤️ submitted by /u/No-Bat2016 [link] [comments]”

“Hey yall! I am 21f and I have a two 1/2 year old and a 10 month old. I had my first when I was 18. Fresh out of high school and barely knew the guy I was pregnant by (my now husband). My pregnancy was awful. His parents were super strict and mine were in the middle of a very long bender. My husband and I were coached into getting married and so you can imagine how that went (we are perfect partners now. just lots of hurdles in the beginning). Mental illness runs rampant in my family, and i’ve de”

“Hi everyone! I’m 6 months postpartum and still not on birth control because of how freaked out I am to make that decision … when I went to the doctors he was really against Paraguard because of the patient satisfaction rating, legit told me 50% of his patients remove it within 3 months.. thinking about the Mirena or the mini pill. I’m exclusively pumping so those are my options.. what have you guys done? submitted by /u/acmcmas [link] [comments]”

“Hate that I am in a position to rant about this.. but it is just breaking me physically and emotionally. I am with my husband and mother to take care of the baby. When I say I need to rest when the baby sleeps, my husband says I have been sleeping all night. He doesn’t even hear the baby cry at 3 AM, and I feed till 4. So he thinks I have got a full night uninterrupted sleep, then I have to justify. Then he makes passing comments to my mother that I do not respond to the baby’s cries, to which m”

“When did you all first take your baby out in public? My girl is almost 2 weeks old and im not a homebody. I feel like im getting cabin fever. It seems to be making my PPD and PPA worse. submitted by /u/Actual-Sprinkles-932 [link] [comments]”

“My husband is a groomsman in a wedding that is in the Caribbean (we are in US). It’s about a 4 hour flight and I’ve been to this island many times so I am very familiar with it. I would be 6-7 weeks postpartum and baby will stay home with my mother. I trust my mom more than I do myself with a newborn, but I know it will probably still be hard to leave her. I plan to get insurance for the trip incase after I have the baby I want to cancel. Has anyone done similar? Am I absolutely crazy for thinki”

“FTM with 7 week old and up until recently I have managed to not suffer from any ppd. Everyone has commented on how calm and natural of a mom I am. My baby has also been such an easy baby to care for. She barely fusses, feeds from breast great, and sleeps great. I started to introduce a bottle once a day and it’s not going great. Firstly, I’m sad and stressed about how this will affect BF, which btw I absolutely love and find comfort in. She has become fussier and has some signs of reflux which a”

“Hiii my LO is 2 months old and I'm staying at home with her at the moment as I'm on maternity and I don't drive. I'm lowkey getting cabin fever lol. And I have no idea how to include my baby in my everyday activities. I'm always up during the day cleaning or making food or whatever, really only sitting down to breastfeed, eat, or rest. I do plan on getting something so I can baby wear but I really want to do more enriching things with her. I read to her, sing to her, have bab”

“hi everyone! Im having a planned c-section in a couple weeks due to my baby being breech. I had a vaginal delivery with my first and so I really wasn’t expecting this at all. I’m hoping to collect as much positive advice for healing post surgery especially from breastfeeding moms. please share if you’re willing! PS I tried everything to get her to flip- spinning babies, chiro, moxa sticks, EVC and nothing worked so really not looking for that kind of advice and not interested in breech vaginal d”

“I’m 4 weeks PP and my husband is going to an out of town wedding for one night this weekend. I had RSVP’d no months ago as I didn’t know when exactly baby would come, how I’d be feeling and obviously did not want to travel with a fresh newborn or have her stay with anyone (including family) that young. My husband was always tentative, but recently decided to go for one night vs the whole weekend. I’ve always expressed I didn’t love the idea of him going with me so freshly postpartum, but honestl”

“Is it possible to get PPD or PPA at 11 weeks? We live in a different state. Everything for me has been survivable back home. (If you saw my other post you may know about my marital issues rn) but back in my home state I was doing well with all things regarding the baby, I had strong systems and routines in place and felt like I was figuring everything out. This week, now 11 and a half weeks pp, we traveled across the country to visit our families in our home town. We are staying at his parents p”

“I have two ultra sweet children and a very nice husband. We have a happy home in a safe area. Like many new parent threads… we talk about the immediate post partum period. For me, that was ok! Happy hormones pumping and then when I stopped breastfeeding at 6 months with both babies - anxiety, worry, boredom, lack of purpose etc all of the above set in. Our babies sleep all night and I’ve gone back to work. Hubs works FT. I don’t know if I’m just a psycho, but I get triggered by everything. My an”

“I am a FTM, currently 33 weeks pregnant. Ideally I am leaning towards a unmedicated/low intervention birth so am thinking about doing some hypnobirthing classes and recruiting a doula, although I will be delivering with an OB at a medical center. I'm looking to get an idea of what to look for in a doula. Additionally, wondering when overnight care would be most helpful? My hope is to breastfeed, my husband will have paternity leave for the first month with my parents visiting between weeks 3”

“Hi all, I (28F) just had a baby almost 5 days ago. I spent a month in the hospital preterm labor alone but with some daytime visitors (husband 29M staying home with our 3 year old). 2 days after the birth I developed two severe infections and was hospitalized again and was in an extreme amount of pain and on 3 different antibiotics. I came home yesterday evening on oral antibiotics and painkillers and still can hardly walk without enormous pain. Obviously with everything I have been through I ha”

“I’m 6 weeks postpartum, recovering from a c-section (had a wound complication too), and exclusively pumping since my baby didn’t latch. My husband just went back to work, so I’m solo during the day now. I’m so anxious about everything with my baby. Holding him, putting him in the car seat, missing a wake window, him being fussy — you name it, I panic about it. I avoid it. I avoid everything. To me I just feel safest in this room, with my baby sleeping. But that can’t be good for me ( or him!) I”

“Has anyone's partner/father of your child(ren) told them they said something to them in early postpartum they do not remember saying? The first 2.5 months of my postpartum was a haze (now 7.5 months out). I don't remember much of it so much so there's pictures on my phone I have no memory of taking. My son's father and I have recently split despite still loving one another. In discussing everything he told me I said something to him that I am shocked to have said. I am so sad tha”

“I am 6 months PP and exclusively breastfeeding. My baby had her first illness last week and actually slept longer stretches during the night (I think because she was so exhausted). a few days later… BOOM my period shows up. I think I’m having a huge hormonal shift because I suspect my supply has dipped (baby is nursing every 15-60 minutes). I knew that could happen, but i have also been having hot flashes and EXTREME body odour! has anyone else experienced this? and was it every time you got you”

“Not necessarily “crazy,” just something that made absolutely no sense looking back, but felt completely reasonable at the time. I’ll go first: my mom came over to hold my newborn for an hour while I went for a walk and got some fresh air. When I came back, the baby smelled like her. She left, and I immediately gave my newborn a whole bath. I felt like some kind of wild animal that had rejected its baby because a human had touched it and changed its smell. Like a rabbit or something. I have no id”

“Please don’t judge. But having some after shocks now. Anyone had fun before the 6 weeks? Any advice? Just an after shock? submitted by /u/AntUnhappy7761 [link] [comments]”

“My husband and I are from very different cultures. I’m East Asian, he’s Northern European. My mom took a leave from work and flew 7 hours to stay with me post-partum for 4 months. We did shifts together, she contact-napped with our baby, cooked for everyone (we didn’t expect her to, but she wouldn’t let us do take-out because it wasn’t healthy), and basically raised the baby with us. I don’t take it for granted, but it was also within the realm of normal in my culture. His parents refused to fly”

“Currently 7.5 months postpartum and I feel like my body is deteriorating before my eyes. And I don’t mean the normal destruction from pregnancy and giving birth, but from actually caring for my baby. Both of my wrists have pretty moderate ‘mommy’s wrist’ so lifting heavy objects or getting up off the floor is next to impossible. My back ACHES and not the classic lower back pain, the most excruciating mid-upper pain that just comes and goes. And the newest development as of today, a popping sensa”

“I’m almost two weeks postpartum. I woke up this morning and got on Snapchat and it looks like my husband made a new account and it was on my recommended. He claims he got hacked or that it’s old. But why now. It’s obviously new and that’s why it popped up. I’ve just been really upset about it. Idk we are young and things have been so good so I’m just disappointed. I gave him head 5 days after my c section. Am I overreacting? He has a Snapchat already it just looks like he made a new one under th”

“I’m wondering if other have experienced this and how it went for them. I had a baby 11 weeks ago. I love my baby more than anything. He is sweet, smart, beautiful. Everything I could have wished for. But I resent my husband. The resentment honestly stems from disappointment and a feeling of being unloved. We’ve been together 16 years and married for one year. We had our baby 11 weeks ago. During my pregnancy he would go out partying every night until 6am. I assumed this was because he was about”

“Hi dads, I’m hoping for some perspective because I’m genuinely trying to understand my husband and not just be frustrated. We have a 1-month-old baby. I had an emergency C-section and I’m still recovering, breastfeeding/pumping, sleep deprived, and adjusting to being a first-time mom. My husband does help and I don’t want to dismiss that. He goes out to buy us food, does the shopping, does his cleaning chores. He is involved and gets things done, but I’m struggling with the overall mindset aroun”

“Hello! I had a baby about 6 months ago (2nd child). I am deciding on accepting a job offer for a postpartum unit - I’ve become very interested in caring for mothers & their babies. I have prior experience in pediatric nursing, but no PP or adult nursing experience. with my first, I remember significant brain fog after going back to work 3 months PP. Like I could just tell my brain wasn’t functioning how I was used to it (breastfeeding, night feeds, probably low iron/ferritin). I do have some”

“I am so jealous of all those couch photos. I just took a 20 minute nap on the hospital floor in a triage room with my duffle bag as a pillow. No end in sight as of now. submitted by /u/vibedial [link] [comments]”

“no sleep, anxiety, and fights with my partner 💔. feels like a loop i can’t escape. submitted by /u/SatisfactionLong1134 [link] [comments]”

“The title says it all. Why is it we are pampered and checked in on and made feel so special when we are pregnant, and once the baby comes, people fall off the face of the Earth… could give two shits. Or they come meet the baby one time when they are a tiny potato and then never come again. Postpartum can be so hard and this is when we need all the TLC and all the pampering and all the check-ins… and don’t even get me started on second or third pregnancies. Nobody cares from the start lol Just wa”

“As the title says, I’m interested in what you wish was available to you after you have a baby. I’m sat here thinking that I wish I had a local group or community I could go to to meet other mums where I don’t have to pay £30 for a brunch & coffee but I can just show up as I am, without worrying about how I’m presenting, and just have a chat. I’m 14 weeks postpartum and bored of walking around shops alone, playing at home with the baby alone. What do you wish you had? submitted by”

“Officially a month pp and I have been enjoying my baby boy. However, it hasn’t been smooth sailing for my husbands and I relationship. I totally expected this to happen but not like this. It seems like he doesn’t have his priorities straight. He’s a huge movie fanatic and at 3 weeks we was planning to go watch a movie but not to our nearby theater but cities away. I reminded him we just had our 3 week old and he had to help me, but the fact that I had to tell him this was absurd. He’s also gone”

“I had a csection 6 days ago with my third baby. Ive got a 4yo and a 2yo so MIL is staying with us to help around the house and my partner took time off work for another week. They both dont want to do much though, no one wants to go grocery shopping so im ordering grocery delivery. Its like pulling teeth to get someone to take the kids to a playground or somewhere so im looking up fun activities I can set up for them at home cause I feel bad they are bored. Im getting very little sleep and have”

“My husbands been on leave since our baby was born. He’s been so helpful, I don’t have a village or my family nearby and I feel extremely worried when he goes back. I pump & sometimes need him to hold the baby while I do it. I’m recovering still from a complicated c section & this is so hard sometimes. I don’t know what to do. Will I be okay? I have to take my newborn out alone. Everything is giving me anxiety. I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing and can’t think straight, if I miss hi”

“I don’t know if anyone else can relate, but I’m 4 months postpartum and honestly, I feel worse now than I did with a newborn. My mood has been really low. I constantly feel down, unmotivated, and irritable. I get annoyed so easily, and I just feel… stuck. Like I’ve completely lost my sense of who I am. I’m also really struggling with my body. I’ve lost all the pregnancy weight, but I feel so soft and out of shape. I’m covered in stretch marks, and I just don’t recognize myself anymore. I don’t k”

“Hi all! I’m an IVF mom, 6 days post c-section and my postpartum anxiety is through the ROOF. I already deal with generalize anxiety but this is the worst it’s ever been. I constantly worry about baby girl and I can’t sleep. Im always checking on her throughout the night and once the sun is up, I feel like can sleep. When I look at her I just want cry because I just want to be the best mom I can be and keep her safe in our little bubble. I think what’s making it worse is that I’m recovering from”

“Hi all, We've recently had our newborn child now for over two weeks. In that time its been a rocky road, one of which I have been helping as much as I can as my partner has been recovering from her ECS. The post-care from hospital and other things have been awful, but we're h I me and thankfully all healthy and well. One thing I am worried about however is my partner. She is a great mother, very gentle and caring and absolutely adores our new baby. Where I've been helping out and hav”

“Hi everyone! I’m due with my first baby, and I’m curious about other people’s experiences with visitors after birth. Specifically, for those who welcomed immediate family to the hospital soon after delivery (rather than waiting or avoiding visitors), how did it go? How soon after birth did you feel comfortable having them come, and would you do it the same way again? Thanks in advance for the input! submitted by /u/Adventurous_Flan6408 [link] [comments]”