Moms grieve the loss of their pre-baby identity

“To those who are missing pregnancy... how are you coping? I had my son in early July and he and I are both healthy (first baby). My pregnancy was easy and I had a c section. Lately, I have just been missing pregnancy so much. I returned to work last week and find myself constantly reminded of my pregnancy... like "oh last time I was doing this task I was pregnant". 🥺 I have a few coworkers who are pregnant now and I feel a mix of sadness/jealousy. Also emptiness, if that makes sense.”

“My baby will be 4 months old in less than a week. I find myself wanting to be pregnant again 24/7. I haven't gotten my period back so I don't know when I'll be fertile again obviously. I'm exclusively breastfeeding so getting pregnant right now would tank my supply, and I'd have to give him formula eventually if I were to get pregnant. Not to mention, our financial situation isn't the best. But all of me misses the joys of it (though the sickness, aches, and pains were ab”

“This is our fourth pregnancy, we have two littles age 5 and 2, and had an early miscarriage between our kids. Pregnancy after miscarriage was hard, not wanting to get my hopes up. It took me forever to buy clothes, decorate a nursery, do anything that made the pregnancy real even with all of the kicks and good scans we had along the way. This pregnancy for our first daughter has been nothing short of devastating for the past 6 weeks. At our 20 week scan they couldn't find the CSP, and though”

“Im a ftm and I love my kid but he was a mistake and we shouldn't have had him. I got pregnant on Bc and at first my husband and I were happy but I had a horrible pregnancy and had to go for emergency surgery at 15 weeks due to an infection and then the birth ended being an emergency c section. I thought it would get better after he was born but at 3 weeks everything just seems to be getting worse,I tried my best breastfeed but he had problems latching and I had to switch to formula and now h”

submitted by /u/Common-Advantage5150 [link] [comments]

“This is my second pregnancy. A very wanted baby, as was my first. But after a miserable, complication riddled first time I absolutely dreaded my second pregnancy before I got here… and it has not disappointed. I am now 16 weeks and feeling absolutely dreadful, every single day is just dragging my feet thru mud to get to the end goal of my complete family. Never again. I wish I could relate to the women who just glow during pregnancy and enjoy the beauty of it. I am so envious of women who have s”

“I feel incredibly blessed to be a (almost) mom of two after going through infertility myself. I wouldn’t describe my journey as the hardest one out there as I know so many people endure much more - but it was “typical”.. still long, emotional, fear, disappointment, tracking, medications, advocating, and all the feelings that come with wanting something so badly. I was also VERY quiet about it. Most of my close friends and family weren’t trying for children at the time, and I honestly didn’t know”

“Just wanted to share my thoughts and random ramblings. It’s so exciting to join this sub again! I feel so excited, also so scared. I want to celebrate but it’s like I have this shadow telling me to not get ahead of myself. Currently feeling the symptoms I had before - like extreme fatigue, bloating, boob tenderness, and some cramping. I have new symptoms that I didn’t feel with my last one - like these sudden hot flashes (I usually am freezing cold most of the time), and vertigo like dizziness/l”

“I feel crazy for even writing this, but does anyone know how to get past the overwhelming sadness no longer being pregnant brought on me? I love my daughter so, so, so much, and I’m so over the moon she’s here with me, but every time I think back to a week ago when she was still in my stomach, I feel sick that I’ll never have that with her again. It’s probably adding to it that I had a HORRIBLE labour of 26 hours that ended in emergency c section, not including the extra 3 days of induction befo”

“I’m 33, my husband is 35, and we TTC for a very emotional year. At a year, they found uterine polyps, removed them, and lo and behold, I got pregnant on the second cycle after that. I couldn’t believe the pee stick!!! Cut to yesterday (I’m between 7 and 8 weeks). I haven’t had a scan yet, but the bloodwork is reassuring and our scan is scheduled one week away. I feel wetness between my legs. I assume it’s urine (weak bladder!!) only to run to the bathroom and see bright red blood, a lot of it. I”

“I really need to hear from mothers who have experienced something similar. I’m about 5 months pregnant, and this pregnancy was very much wanted. Before becoming pregnant, children were one of the biggest joys in my life. I loved being around them, I was deeply moved by videos of children, and I had always imagined having my own child. Everything changed almost immediately after I found out I was pregnant. Instead of happiness, I felt panic, sadness and a sense of emotional disconnection that I c”

“Hi fellow moms, I’m here to seek guidance and friendship as I’m struggling very deeply right now. I’m 21, first time mom and almost 8 weeks pregnant. My fiancée and I planned to have a baby in the next few years, but it ended up coming a lot sooner than expected. I find myself filled with a sense of regret, which then turned into guilt. I was a very heavy weed smoker before finding out, and quit cold turkey, which is deeply effecting my mental health. I’m currently already on an antidepressant,”

“I’m 32F and trying to conceive with my husband 37M and I’ve had a really stressful year. I got a back injury that took me out of the gym which was my sanctuary, I got demoted at work because the company is headed in a corporate direction and cutting positions, our dog has had health issues $$, that amongst regular life stressors has just made me mentally and emotionally spent, and I’m struggling to conceive. All this stress has affected our marriage too. Historically I’ve been this go getter but”

“I know it’s wrong. But I know I don’t want to do this again. It’s hard. Too hard. My health has suffered. submitted by /u/Ok_Win5705 [link] [comments]”

“My wife and I found out we were pregnant in early March. At the time, it genuinely felt like the best thing that had happened to us. We had been going through a difficult period in our relationship before the pregnancy, and my wife had also struggled with depression the year before. She was understandably ambivalent when we first found out, and I tried my best to reassure her and give her space to process everything. Over time, things felt like they were getting better. Just a month ago, she tol”

“Currently about half way through my final pregnancy and I’ve always really struggled with the newborn stage. I mostly just try to survive through it. So I’m looking for some positive on things you miss about having a newborn. What do you look back on and are nostalgic about? What do you wish you did more or less of before this short stage was over forever? submitted by /u/ineedausername84 [link] [comments]”

“I know the title is weird. I’m having an off day today and the tears are rolling and I just need to let this out of my heart. I don’t have anyone I feel comfortable talking to about this stuff, but will be enrolling in therapy again soon. I’m 30 weeks pregnant with our second child. Our first LO is 3. I work in a very fast paced environment and have been for around 5 years. I truly pour everything I have into my family, my marriage and my work. Even when I am at my lowest and most exhausted, phy”

“I’m currently 35 weeks and having some serious FOMO. Not about the alcohol, because I wasn’t really an alcohol person before pregnancy, so that part hasn’t really changed for me. But this summer has been a challenging one. A lot of the plans I had for this summer kind of vanished when we found out about baby, who was an exciting surprise. I’m a FTM, super excited to become a mom, and I already love my baby so much. But I also can’t help but feel the reality of how much my life is changing. I can”

“I really want someone to relate to me. since I’ve been pregnant it’s like idk who I am anymore, I have lost motivation and interest in things I liked before, I want to sleep all day, I ruminate on how I feel all day, I feel disconnected from my family and a shell of myself. I’m 9 weeks pregnant, does it get better? for the record I’m on 100mg Zoloft since even before pregnancy but im miserable submitted by /u/PresMo13109 [link] [comments]”

“I’ve always dreamed about having kids. It’s something I’ve always wanted. In my mind I wanted 2 or 3 kids. Well when we first started TTC I had multiple losses, and it took three years for one to stick. Well our little rainbow baby has just arrived in July and I am SUFFERING. I seriously feel like postpartum is torture. It has affected my partner significantly as well. My delivery was unremarkable, however our baby had to spend about a week and a half in the NICU which gave us a bit of trauma fo”

“Hi! I am struggling with desire to want sex with my boyfriend for almost the entirety of this pregnancy. We have a son who just turned one early August and now we are expecting a daughter early September. So my body didn't get much repair and relax time before I got pregnant again. I've tried explaining to my boyfriend many times that this feeling has nothing to do with him personally. My hormones are going through a lot and I have a high risk pregnancy. My boyfriend and I also didn'”

“Hi all, FTM here. My LO is 7 weeks old at this time and I think I’m at a crossroads with what to do and how to process so maybe this is more of a rant but I would love to hear all of your experiences. During delivery my LO became a vacuum birth and needed to be immediately suctioned. When they put him on me for skin to skin, in my exhaustion and anxiety, I didn’t realize he also needed to try and root/latch. That night he refused to latch and the next morning when visited by a LC she shared it w”

“As odd as it may be, I miss it. I had a great pregnancy, not free of symptoms, but very mild. I had bad reflux, some nausea, pelvic girdle pain, shortness of breath and so on, but nothing that had me hating my life. I was so concerned, while pregnant, that I would never fit my clothes again and I would hate my body. But, since having my baby early by emergency C-section, I miss it. I miss feeling her move. I miss knowing my baby is inside me, though I was always paranoid that something would go”

“Then your answer is to keep it close to the vest for now. I told no one when I knew there was a risk of loss. But when we did IVF and were more confident, I felt able to tell a few friends at 12-15 weeks. I told admin after 16? When it started working to look a little like I was pregnant. But also my classes are really hard to cover and I will be out close to the start of the year.”

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. How far along were you? hugs

“I am a first time mom. I’ve always wanted to be a mom and after 5 years of unexplained infertility and IVF, we finally have our beautiful baby boy. but I feel like a total fuck up. I feel like he’s behind in all his milestones. To me it feels like he is stuck at 6months. He is 10 months old and only sits if we place him in the position. He only wants to roll or lay on his back or belly. It does seem like he wants to move but doesn’t really try to crawl or anything. He doesn’t wave or point. He m”

“Hi, I joined to maybe read similar stories and get some opinions on my own situation. First things first - English is not my first (or even second) language so please forgive my grammar and other mistakes. TW: loss I (F32) was pregnant three times. The first time I got pregnant I was 25, and had to get an abortion as soon as I found out - my ex was an abusive AH and I was trying to get out of that relationship. I have a great partner now and we started trying for a baby in winter this year. I go”

“I'm a FTM to 9 month old and my friend is 9 months pregnant with her second after 3 years. I was lightheartedly sharing with her that the only thing that drives me crazy about babyhood is the naps. I can deal with the waking up overnight but the overtired meltdowns or the fact that I have an older baby that still refuses to nap for longer than 30 minutes if they're not being held drives me crazy sometimes. She just paused and said "See... I feel like that's a first time parent t”

“This is my second (planned also) and I actually am regretting it, I hate my life right now, I miss my old life I should have just had one and done, I’m not mentally stable, I’m bored stiff, I had to quit smoking, stop my adhd meds and before I got pregnant I tapered off sertraline to actually GET pregnant, now I have antenatal depression and I’m back on sertraline. Hating every minute, I want a glass of wine, I am DYING for a cigarette. I’m 19 weeks pregnant and I’m dreading the next few months”

“I’m an older mom. Had my one and only at 43 years old. It was a surprise pregnancy. I lived a decent life before…full time corporate job with full benefits, boat days on the weekends or after work, beach, travel, etc. Fast forward to 1.5 years ago. I had my daughter 11 weeks early, she needed surgery after birth and is special needs. My maternity leave ran out by the time she was a “newborn” and we were sent home from the NICU. Only family nearby is my MIL who still works full time. We are now d”