Parents Wrestle with Child's Social Development
Parents are grappling with their children’s social interactions and navigating complex situations. This includes concerns about young children expressing romantic interest, managing birthday party invitations when lacking a strong friend group, and dealing with a child's desire for material possessions.
SOURCES (60)
“She's a freshman in high school and had this friend when she was in 6th and 7th grade, he is a year ahead of her. When he went to high school their friendship kind of died down. He quit wanting to talk to her or…”
“My 14 year old daughter told me that an old friend from elementary is planning a drinking party (she isn’t invited so I’m not sure why this girl is even divulging the info). My dear friend’s son is planning on attending. How do I share the information without potentially causing issue with my daughter. I don’t want her to stop confiding in me and she asked me specifically it to say anything. Obviously this is not something I want to keep from my friend for safety reasons. submitted by  ”
“My daughter is 7 and loves her friends. They all met up at the park tonight and I thought they were playing alright so I was leaving them be. A little later on one of her friend's mom came over and told me my daughter (A) and another friend (B) had told her daughter (C) she couldn't play with them and it had made C really sad. I went to ask what happened and friend B said that C was mean to her earlier at recess and wouldn't share the chalk so she didn't want to be around her. I”
“She's 14 now, and has four brothers. She goes to a good school filled with good kids. She has good grades and I'm very proud of her with her schoolwork. Though, I have a couple concerns. She's always had social anxiety and didn't like hanging out with other kids. She never realky grew out of it, and she still prefers to be alone most of the time. Even when it comes to hanging out with us, her family, she never seems to he genuinely enjoying herself. She always puts her headphones”
“My god we are 6 school years in and I have no parents friends because it makes the other parents uncomfortable including me to things as a sahd. Im not invited to sahm group chats or invited to play dates typically (which i do understand not wanting to be one on one with me alone). I am lucky a few of parents are fine with me inviting their kid over now to hang out with mine since last year. But no one i can text regularly or have friendship with. I thought end of last year I had managed to make”
“So I have an 8 year old daughter and she really enjoys going to school. She couldn't wait for the summer holiday to be over because she wanted to go back. Shes extremely social but over the last week or so shes been coming out of school saying she hasnt played with anyone because she didn't want too and just wanted to sit by herself. She doesn't really have a solid friend group as such and will usually play with different people different days, sometimes she'll play with the same”
“My wife and I are very confused why neither of our kids (4th grade girl and 1st grade boy) have any good friends from school. They've handed out our phone numbers for playdates, they are very active in sports in clubs, and we volunteer for PTO events to meet other parents. But sealing the deal for scheduled get togethers is almost impossible. We've only successfully had maybe 3 in the last 5 years. Not sure if we're the weird ones and can't get access to social circles, or there”
“My daughter started high school this year. She made a friend initially with a boy which was good and she likes video games and is a bit 'young' - not into fashion, makeup etc. He left and she made a couple of other friends but they all have new friends now and she's been left out. She's upset and hates school, but part of it is that she just wants the attention of 1 good friend, and doesn't like groups. She doesn't always understand social cues. Lately a couple of kids in”
“I wanted to get some insight from other moms about how much your 11-year-olds are socializing outside of school and organized activities. My son is involved in art classes, martial arts, and soccer, so he does have opportunities to socialize and has kids he interacts with through those activities. But I’ve noticed that he doesn’t really socialize with kids outside of those settings. His soccer is just recreational and only runs for a few weeks, so the kids don’t really hang out outside of practi”
“If your child is 21 and living at home do you expect them to ask permission to do stuff? If they have a boyfriend do they get to go stay the weekend away with them without being married? What are your thoughts on this submitted by /u/goldnldy28 [link] [comments]”
“I maybe need a reality check? I have a 7 year old who started at a new school this year. He has made friends with some kids from school who live in our neighborhood. Which is great! He's had some of these kids over to play, with parents present. These kids have somewhat trashed our house and yard each time. I'm talking dumping rocks out of our landscaping all over the yard, toys getting broken, drawing on furniture, etc. One went inside to use the bathroom and then went onto a different”
“Misery loves company so now you get to join me. My daughter turns 5 in January and we were talking about what she wants for her birthday party and the realization hit me that her turning 5 means her childhood is at least 25% over. 😫😫😭 I can't deal. submitted by /u/Ginganinja_AF [link] [comments]”
“My 5yo daughter has started playing with some of the neighborhood kids (8f, 6m and 4m brothers). We live in a small rural neighborhood, most of the kids are out all summer/ the rest of day after school with little to no supervision. She does fine with the boys and their mom checks up on them often enough, I'm outside 90% of the time my daughter is out playing. The 8f parents are rarely home, she has older siblings (teens) at the home what looks to be constantly but she's never monitored”
“Looking for some parenting advice about my 10-year-old son. He has been part of the same friendship/sporting group for around 7 years, but he is consistently the one left out. The other boys' parents are all very close friends and organise play dates, dinners, weekends away and trips together. My son is never invited. Recently, we were away for a sporting trip and accidentally discovered that all the other families had organised to stay at the same hotel and have dinner together. We weren”
“Hi! My kid is turning 7 soon and we’re having a party for him next month. I want to contact the parents of the kids he wants to invite soon so they can add it to their calendars. He is currently playing with one of his best friends as I write this, but he does not want to invite her to his party. They lose all impulse control when they play (and crack each other up profoundly), and they seem to have fun together, but he mentioned today that she is a bit bossy. I want to set the example that he d”
“My son just proposed to his girlfriend this past Thursday and we are over the moon for them! My daughter just got married last weekend and her wedding will be completely different than my son’s. His fiancée is already involving me and asking my opinions on things. I’m being very careful to have boundaries in place because it is her day and we are not contributing as much financially as we did to my daughter’s wedding, of course. They are looking at an early Fall 2028 wedding. Here’s where I need”
“Kiddo is turning 10 soon. She spends half her time with me and half with her dad and we live in different parts of our city. Last year, her dad threw her a party and friends from both neighborhoods came, but apparently didn’t play together or even get along. Dad makes a lot more money, and has a girlfriend who does the heavy lifting as far as planning, so has usually been the one to host kiddo’s birthday party. This year, she’d like to celebrate separately with her two sets of friends (school fr”
“There was no tag that quite fit the post but looking for advice. My 12 yr old has been having a lot of issues with friendship since the end of last school year. We had hoped the start of school would a fresh start but we are right back where we left off. We are starting to think there might be something significant at school. Is she being bullied and not telling us? Did someone start a rumor about her? Is there something so egregious about her personality that she is off putting? Some details: 1”
“My son is in 6th grade. He has a lot of acquaintance friends at school and enjoys seeing everyone. He has been invited to a few birthday parties. Our son is our only child so we have a lot of the room in the basement for him and his friends to play video games and hang out. the problem is he never gets invited anywhere on the weekends. If we invite another child over the other family is happy to drop their kid off for the day. If we don’t invite kids over he basically has no social life. I would”
“Hi everyone! I’m looking for some advice on the best way to navigate a friendship situation with my 5-year-old. My daughter has a group of neighborhood friends she’s been close with for several years .. they’ve known each other since they were toddlers. As they’ve gotten older, though, I’ve started noticing some behavior from one of the girls that isn’t always very kind. There have been quite a few little things over the past year, so this isn’t just a one-off situation, and I’m trying to figure”
“Hey fellow Dads - My 15 year old has his first high school homecoming dance soon. He was originally going to go stag. But his football teammate made an introduction to a girl on the cheerleading squad, and they seem to be hitting it off. My son is blessed - smart, tall, handsome, well liked. He’s quiet, but opens up when he’s comfortable. His date - she’s beautiful, smart, and like him, quiet until she’s comfortable with you. I say all this because they don’t know each other well yet. They’ve be”
“My son (6) switched schools this year and is having a really hard time making friends. We are about a month in and he hasn’t made a single friend. He’s played with a couple kids off and on, but hasn’t really developed any friendships and is mostly playing alone. He had a ton of friends in kindergarten right away, and we still have play dates with them every once in a while. I want to help him but I truly have no idea what to do. I feel so so sad for him and the thought of him playing alone every”
“I need some advice. My 5 yo got a super short hair cut a couple months ago. She loves her hair and is very comfortable in it but she keeps telling me that kids in school are calling her a boy. Each time it happens she tells me she corrects them immediately but I know it’s starting to wear on her. Today in tumbling class one of the other kids kept referring her as “he”. When it happened she would just look at me and shake her head. I told her after class that she should correct the kid if it both”
“My son’s 7th birthday is this Monday and his party is on Sunday. I suddenly realised last night that I’ve got to decide if he gets my presents on Sunday with all the others, or on Monday morning before school. But if I choose Monday morning, he’s then going to school and afterwards his Dad is picking him up for dinner, so he won’t get home until about 5:30pm. At which point I don’t really relish the idea of having an excited 7yr old playing with his new toys in the lead up to bedtime (which is a”
“We have a son (10) who has some good friends he enjoys playing with. Though it can become rowdy at times as boys will be boys. He basically comes home from school with 1~3 buddies every day. In weekends at least one of them comes over like clockwork in the morning and if not send home they will stay until dinner. And when we do send him home earlier another one will usually show up. I'm happy my kid has good friends to play with but they always play at our house. My kid rarely plays elsewher”
“Hi. My 5 year old (almost 6) is breaking my heart. She’s a lovely girl and is incredibly smart. She gets on well with her peers and has been pretty good at pretty much everything she’s ever done. The one issue is she gets very upset when she thinks about trying something new or something with many other people. She’s in beginner swimming and gymnastics classes, but cries going in every time. She’s delighted when she comes out at the end and has had a great time every time. It’s the same with sch”
“when my daughter was 1-2, she would run around in public places and wave hi at people. everyone loved it and it was so cute 2-3 she would still say hi, but only to family/friends. I vividly remember coming home from work and she would run over and greet me with a big hug when she was 4-5, that kind of all stopped. when people say hi or bye, it seems hard for her to do that. she'll play with her friends and she'll say things to them, but its rarely ever hi or bye. even when we prompt her”
“I need some serious pre teen advice. My 11 year old has these childhood friends who I’m afraid he’s out growing. We used to be neighbors. However we have kept in contact with the family and for birthday parties etc. I never was too close to their mom because she just always seems occupied and detached. I only have 1 she has 3. Her oldest 13 son talks terrible. He curses a lot, and like many adolescent boys references sexual things about everything. It bothers me and Now my son has been exposed t”
“Hello All, I have a 4 year old, who is very sensitive and emotional and I need advice on how to teach him to handle certain situations. He has a best friend (same age) whom we meet often and he loves him a lot. He is constantly wanting to hold his hands or do an activity together and gets very upset when the other kids says no or pushes away (which the kid absolutely has the right to). We are of course teaching him about boundaries and consent and have a talk before we leave on how we do not for”
“My oldest is 14 and while he and I do have a very strong bond he’s been a bit distant and I take it he’ll be like this until he’s 18. I know being a teen boy ain’t easy now so I cut him some slack and I do my best to be the gentle, warm and loving mother he deserves. Something I do so he knows he’s loved and how much I care about him is I randomly give him a hug whenever we’re in the same room and I say stuff to him like: “I love you” “I had you because I wanted you” “You can always talk to me a”
“One of those days. Child (5yo) comes home from school; I'm working from home. He's playing happily with mum. I come out for dinner and he says "let me show you something". There, with his fridge m@gnet letters, he's written "I do not love you". He says "Daddy, I love Mummy most in all the world. Do you know who I love least of all? You." So there you have it. (Censored for metal-to-metal attraction). submitted by /u/Negative-Cause9588 [link]”
“Looking for some perspective from other parents of kids in secondary school. My 11 year old, who has just started secondary school, is a very bright, conscientious kid. He’s quite sensitive, somewhat of an overthinker, and is very aware of rules and fairness. Recently, one of his teachers missed a class, and the students were supposed to go to the study room. Instead, they stayed and became very noisy and rowdy. My son sits in the front and was genuinely bothered by the noise, but he was also wo”
“I have an 11yo daughter who just started 6th grade(late birthday) and it’s breaking my heart that she’s struggling socially. I stress to her to focus on school but I also know She desperately wants to make friends. She’s kind-hearted and is so shy around anyone not in our family. it takes her time to come out of her shell and the past few times she’s come out she went right back in because of the way kids were treating her. I’m at my wits end and dont know how to help her. I wasn’t confident at”
“My daughter just turned 12, and school is very stressful for her. She has friends, but not any best friends. Lots of girls are already getting to be sassy and what is meant for sarcasm, she views as harsh, and she is very sensitive and loving. She doesn’t quite feel like she fits in, but we are working on her self-esteem because she is truly delightful. When bedtime approaches, as many of you know, our brain start cycling all of the things that are still unsolved and all of the problems/stressor”
“I’m at a loss on what to do about friendship dynamics my 9 year old daughter is experiencing. Last school year, my daughter had her two best friends in her class, then a new student was transferred into their class a couple weeks into the school year. My daughter generally tries to include people and invited the new girl into her friend group (which caused a very brief riff with my daughter and her bestie but she felt it was the right thing to do at the time). The new girl is quite assertive and”
“My daughter is friends with Friend, both almost 6. They are starting their second year of school together and Friend lives in the neighborhood. Friend has a complex homelife - both parents have been remarried more than once and have other children, parents are not together anymore. Friend has 4 older half siblings, all teenagers. I feel for her and appreciate that she needs stable friendship. My daughter really likes her and we’ve had her over at our house many times this past year but Friend is”
“I invited several kids for playdates last year and my son never gets invited back. He is 8 and very sad about it. The teacher said he is very sweet and caring. I have no idea what it is. He is invited to large gathering, birthday parties.... But not one on one playdates. We also tried to invite parents as a couple and don`t get invited back. In my other kids classes this is not a problem, there we are part of the group. My feeling is that the kids think my son is not "cool", but I am n”
“Hi everyone. I'm just curious since this was a discussion with another mom I met in my daughter's girl scout troop. Our daughters are 7 (will be turning 8 this school year) and the mom shared that her daughter refuses to play pretend because that's what "young kids do." I found out that she has siblings that are much older so perhaps that influences her perception of things. But it made me so sad to hear. Last night, my daughter was playing pretend with my son (who is 2) an”
“My daughter, 16, walks through another neighborhood on her way to school, and sometimes says hello to some girls who are about 7 and 9. Apparently figured out she lived and stopped by today. They were selling grapes for a couple bucks a piece -- whatever -- they were nice kids and I think a lot of kids at that age have had some silly business ideas that neighbors played along with once. (I bought five grapes.) They asked if my daughter could played and I told them they could talk to her for a fe”
“We have three kids: two boys, 7 and 5, and a 3-year-old girl. They’re all strong-willed kids, but lately I’ve noticed something with my oldest that really worries me. He seems to feel like he’s not good enough. And honestly, that hurts, because I’ve always tried so hard to make sure he never feels “different” in our family. My oldest has a different dad than my other two kids. His dad only has him, so when he’s there he basically gets all the attention, can do a lot more and doesn’t really have”
“My son is in 2nd grade, and I’m trying to figure out if he’s actually struggling socially or if I’m reading too much into normal kid friendship dynamics because I’m his mom and I’m hearing about all of it at home. This year he didn’t know many kids in his class, maybe 5 or so. I actually thought that could be a good thing because it gives him a chance to branch out and make new friends. A few days ago, one of the boys he’s been friends with since kindergarten told him he was “ending their friend”
“Hello all, please bear with me for some minor context. <3 So my son who’s 6, has a friend that lives down the street from us, she’s a very sweet and energetic little girl that’s a year older. We’re very fortunate to live in a neighborhood with a large group of kids that are all in the same age group and go to the same school. Now this girl is nice but she’s had some issues with some of the other kids on the block about saying mean, rude and hurtful things. She threatened one kid and has had s”
“Curious, those of you were only children and how you felt about your childhood. My husband is an only child and says he didn’t mind it. I’m very close with my 5 1/2 year-old son probably suffocatingly so. (I’m mom. Hopefully I can post here). I am already pregnant and we are trying to decide on continuing. He would be six if we do. I worry about my son being lonely and I don’t mean the past stereotypes on only children. That’s just how my son is. He cries when play dates are over and he’s extrem”
“This is young elementary school. I want to preface this by saying I know my child isn't perfect and he is responsible for his actions. I also want to say that he has a very strong moral compass, sometimes annoyingly so, and we have to remind him to be more flexible. He has even passed on friendships simply because they don't listen to the teacher or follow rules. He has also been bullied in the past and is well versed in what makes a good friend. Lastly, he craves friendship. He has frie”
“My 16 year old came home from his girlfriends last night and said her parents have offered him to move in. They've been dating for 3 months, friends for a bit longer. I know i need to speak to her parents as he may be exaggerating ...it could have been a case of "you're welcome any time! You should just move in ha ha ha". But 3 months is incredibly early to even consider that at his age. I just don't know how I feel about this. Yes, legally, at 16 years old he can move out”
“Hi all. My eight year old daughter is my sweet, beautiful girl and I love her endlessly, but I'm at a complete loss on how to talk to her about something that's been driving me up the wall. She interrupts absolutely everything. Doesn't matter who I'm talking to, she cannot let a conversation happen around her without jumping in, whether it's just blurting random noise, adding her own opinion, or peppering whoever is talking with questions. Just in the past hour alone. My husb”
“My son was invited to a birthday party for a kid he knew from his former school. He really likes this kid, along with several others from the school who are likely to be there. However, some of the kids from that school have been bullies to him, and at a recent party he attended for another former classmate, he had a bad time due to their picking on him. He told me he only wants to go to the party if xyz kids will not be there. Is there a good way to ask the mom/host of the party who will be att”
“My daughter (6) started 1st grade this week, and none of her friends from last year ended up in her class. She doesn't have recess or lunch with them so she's feeling really lonely. She's really struggled to make new friends since preschool ended a couple years ago and everyone went to different schools. Even her existing friendships feel pretty surface-level at this point. They didn't play together over the summer, and I don't really know the other moms. I've signed her”
“Hey! My baby just turned 1 and he’s very social and smart, also very sensitive and sometimes it takes him a bit to warm up to new situations. I work part time and with my schedule and his dad’s it makes no financial sense to send him to daycare. I take him to story time at the library and the children’s museum but there aren’t really opportunities more than once a week, and he sees lots of my friends and adults. He loves his cousin who is his same age but they live out of town and we only see th”
“I have a newly 14 yr old daughter (in highschool here in Aus) and I have a rule that if she wants to have a sleepover, I need to meet the parents hosting it. Mind you, if it's during the day etc I'm a lot more flexible, but if it's anything involving a sleepover I ask to meet the parents. I don't think it's outrageous, I want to know she's safe at another person's house who will be responsible for her during the night. I had traumatic experiences as a kid and teen tha”
“My daughter is 4.5 and in TK (transitional kindergarten). She is very mature for her age socially + emotionally advanced. When she talks about kids in her class it seems that it hard for her to make friends because of very normal 4 year old behaviors that she finds annoying. I think she has a hard time relating to them on some level. For context, one of her best friends is 9. I am not sure how to help her gravitate a new school and class when it seems that she is often annoyed with a lot of the”
“My oldest is having her birthday party this weekend, and we just found out that not only is another girl in her grade having a party at the same time on the same day, most of the other kids in her class are going to the other party and she wasn't invited to the other birthday girl's party. Shit happens, Birthday paradox is a real thing, and there's certainly more than 23 kids in her grade, but man... I'm feeling sad for my kid who cares very much if people like her. Any other dad”
“My 11 and 5 year old demand things instead of asking in a sentence. It’s obnoxious and super rude. For example, if my 11 year old wants to go to Dunkin she’ll say “Dunkin” instead of asking nicely. Or if my 5 year old wants another bowl of cereal she’ll just say “cereal.” We absolutely didn’t teach our kids to act like this. We are constantly teaching them manners and reminding them to speak nicely. They don’t do this with anyone else… wtf did I do wrong and how can I fix this? It makes me feel”
“Been a long time lurker here, love the community and support us dads provide to each other. I'm in need for one today, looking for advices on how you handled yours... My 4 years old son just got promoted to an older pre-school classroom. There are many friends who moved up earlier than him, and he knows the teacher too so we expected a smooth transition. I got curious and opened the live cam, and saw him seeming to be very attached to an older girl friend. He was getting real close, like hug”
“The biggest issue I have is her texting me from school, relying on me to help her make decisions she should be making on her own. I HATE that they allow phones in school. Not in the classroom. But everywhere else during the day. “Should I go for geometry help during lunch?” “Ugh I forgot my Invisalign” “I’m so stressed I have so much homework” “Should I email the athletic director and what should I say?” She’s a sensitive kid, very indecisive, stresses a lot, and has anxiety. But a really good k”
“My daughter is almost 11. She started going to a new school last year and has been in a friend group with two other girls. Let's call them A and B. They all got along for most of the year last year. About two months before school ended they were all playing a game that they have played before and my daughter got hurt after she yelled at girl A to stop. She didn't stop and my daughter got hurt. She felt like before this she had been a boundary crosser and this was the final straw. For wee”
“I currently have a 1 year old (boy) and a 3 year old (girl) (22 month age gap). They are best friends. It is helpful that my older child’s friends like my younger child too, so even when friends are over, they all play together. They sit by each other (by choice) at every birthday party, hold hands to go everywhere, comfort each other when crying, etc. They fight occasionally over toys but for the most part play exceptionally well together. It is so sweet to watch. I’d love for them to have this”
“I’d love some advice. I feel like most of my interactions with my 12 year-old daughter are nagging her to clean up after herself. She honestly just drives me crazy because she’s very creative, which I love, but she doesn’t clean up after herself most of the time and has a very blasé attitude. And I also get angry at her because she is pretty rude much of the time too. For example, yesterday she picked up my phone and found a picture of me and told me that I have “grandma cheeks,” that my skin is”
“Hello fellow Dads. I have a Daughter who is starting High School and is getting into the whole boyfriend thing. Which makes me curious what those of you who are in the same boat as i am, or who have been on this boat before. When meeting your daughter’s boyfriend for the first time, or first few times what are you looking for? What big things or small things do you look for, and what is an ideal first impression for you? What are you looking for over the next 2-3 meetings? Dads who have Sons, sa”
“I am at a loss and would love guidance. For context, my husband and I as children were THE poster children. We were not sneaky, not liars and always did what was asked of us. It’s just our personality and I’m aware this is not normal. But because of this, we have no concept on how to address sneakiness in our children. Our eldest child is 5 and for the last year or so he has become more and more sneaky. Pushing his little sisters buttons until she erupts like a volcano and she gets in trouble fo”