People feel trapped by family requests to move in
11 posts across 6 communities in the last 90 days; 55% from r/povertyfinance.
“I am one of them. But I also know that children can be rough on the house. The older people are sweeties but I cant absorb it if i need to evict for non-payment and there is a parent there. I dont want to enable a situation which could end badly for both of us. [re…”
“I'm with you! However, no new people are allowed to come to their house. They have always been eccentric, but this is a whole new level. Money isn't a problem. Welcome to the world of two people aging in place and living with Alzheimers :( [re: Does else have wealthy extended…”
“Guess they get also resentful and shocked when kids grow up and cut them off [re: My aunt is asking me to move out because I can't afford her new rent demands]”
Multiple users express discomfort with family members' demands for them to move in, one comparing it unfavorably to a date. Concerns are raised about financial arrangements and the potential impact on personal freedom.
SOURCES (25)
“I am one of them. But I also know that children can be rough on the house. The older people are sweeties but I cant absorb it if i need to evict for non-payment and there is a parent there. I dont want to enable…”
“I'm with you! However, no new people are allowed to come to their house. They have always been eccentric, but this is a whole new level. Money isn't a problem. Welcome to the world of two people aging in place and living with Alzheimers :( [re: Does else have wealthy extended relatives?]”
“Guess they get also resentful and shocked when kids grow up and cut them off [re: My aunt is asking me to move out because I can't afford her new rent demands]”
“if you're paying "market rent", you're the one doing the subsidising. [re: My aunt is asking me to move out because I can't afford her new rent demands]”
“My older brother is planning on moving my sister in law and my five year old autistic nephew in with us because she's pregnant and they're struggling with money and work. And soon both will probably be let go of their jobs and since my SIL's health is getting worse due to pregnancy she might even have to quit before they even let her go. For context, I've been living with my parents again for over a year now because I've been struggling with my health too and my POTS has gott”
“its not possible to move out right away. If i can i sleep over at my friends with excuse, that its closer to my work place, but i am actively making plans to leave. The bathroom thing is weird tho, because i lock it but she always tries to get in when im showering for a bit longer than normal and i have to open because she would do something crazy again.”
“Spend some time on this group, there’s no shortage of “my [relative] won’t support me” “I’m tired of supporting my [relative]” posts on here. Moving without having a how much would you support me conversation with brother would’ve been a bad move. Glad you’re not.”
“I wouldn’t move in with dad if that is how he thinks. Your uncle is underhanded and should not have let that happen much less dad. Is this the real story?”
“If they fuck up you’re on the hook to pay for it and deal with family and money which I personally hate”
“"He and his girlfriend"......Holy shit, that's double trouble. Hell no, do not do this.”
“Cold cut decision and make him decide honestly. Tell him I want to get married to you and build a future together, but that’s something without your family. So I need to know. Will you be the manI need you to be and stand up for yourself and cut them off. or will I need to walk away from this relationship? It will be hard but needs to be done”
“I’m sorry you are unhappy with this situation and I can see why. The issue is this must be his decision and his alone as to what he chooses to do. If he’s bound by cultural obligation it’s pretty unlikely that will change. These people are his family so you can’t really judge them as he accepts them. You are really in a lose lose situation. If you pressure him to see your points he will end up resenting you. This is more about you than him and his family. What are you willing to accept to be wit”
“You can’t do anything. He has to cut them off. He can offer to unburden them by taking his brother in. He can convince his dad to give him the money and control the money that goes into the household so they have to ask permission for everything that they spend. Until everyone is OK with them being uncomfortable, there’s nothing you can do for him. He might be the best band in the entire world, but you’re gonna have to decide if you want to marry into a family like this because you will suffer y”
““ They genuinely would be homeless, or at least living in extreme poverty”. So? That’s not your fiancé’s problem, and it’s not your problem. Their situation is a string of poor decisions, and that’s their fault. I have been in a similar situation for most of my life. My father never really amounted to much, and he died 16 years ago. My mother only worked medial jobs, earning minimum wage. My almost 40- year-old brother still lives with her and doesn’t have a job and never has. For a long time, t”
“It sounds like OP needs a counselor or something. People who stay in their bedroom all day have some serious mental health issues going on. Depressed people stay depressed if they don’t seek help. I know of two family members who did this. One of whom is now homeless. Unfortunately there’s no way to help a depressed person if they don’t want help.”
“He yelled at you on the phone. You will then be with him in person. He could get worse and you have to get away from him. I'd stay where I am at.”
“Your brother is just worried that he won't have access to your credit card anymore. Your mom said herself that she wants you to take this opportunity, so she must not be worried about who will care for her if you're staying with your uncle. It will all work out, OP. Sometimes in life, you need to do things for yourself. This is one of those times, and you'll look back on this moment and thank your mom, your uncle, yourself (and possibly Reddit) for helping you make the right choice.”
“He's trying to help you. The entire point is to get you off your butt, out of the house, and socializing in real life. If you turn down his offer, don't whine to him about how hard your life is. You made the choice to live it this way and turned down help.”
“I’m trying to figure out what they did before the brother started working? Was the dad paying everyone’s way? Did the dad just leave because he couldn’t take it anymore?”
“Your uncle is tryimg to help. It sounds like youre depressed (with good reasons) getting some exercise going on campus and socializing would be good for you. Joining a club would mean people with ypur interests and you are more likely to make friends.”
“I have severe anxiety and have been diagnosed with agoraphobia, I’m also physically disabled. You’re going to turn down a better living situation where you have actual independence and won’t be abused by your brothers because you’ll have to switch to hybrid classes (with free travel) and join a club? I know it can be hard to leave the comfort of your home, I completely get it. I was like that too, I would do anything and everything to avoid leaving home if I didn’t absolutely have to and when I”