Mental Health Struggles & Support
Users are sharing experiences with cheating trauma and seeking support or advice regarding mental health concerns like pornography addiction and feelings of inadequacy. Many express a need for professional help.
SOURCES (60)
“I went to an outpatient program once that had an addiction class. I asked if I should go to it since I don't have substance use issues, and the psychiatrist asked me if I might be addicted to depression. I still don't know the answer,…”
“Don't blame yourself for it. I think there's a healthier way of handling it than shame or embracing it. You mentioned your degree and how hard you work. You have values. You also went through traumas. Stuff like this can influence or accumulate. Do you have access to therapy?”
“I started watching pornography when I was around 10 years old, during my childhood. At that age, I did not really understand the consequences or how it could affect me later in life. Gradually, I started masturbating as well, and over time it became a regular habit. What initially started as occasional masturbation slowly turned into a compulsive habit. I began masturbating almost every day, and eventually there were times when I would masturbate as many as 10 times in a single day. As I grew ol”
“I'm struggling with this aas well im in my 20s and I feel. Like I'm not. Normal even females wouldn't find me normal the urges are just to great I wish i had someone along with and also shame. Is there and biggest regret is I wish i had partner instead of mastrubation all energy I have wasted till now I have done this to. Myself and cannot be recovered 😢”
“Might Bebe helpful, might not. But whenever I get those urges while actively trying to tame them, I just go to the gym. I do combat sports so it’s easy to blow steam off”
“All I can really say is, that the fact you’re aware that this is a problem, and that you’re looking for help, really says a lot about the person you want to become.”
“Thank you. Ik what you're getting at. Getting meds will need prescription though, I can't get it. I don't know if it's a dopamine addiction. It's just like a constant urge to do it, even when I'm not aroused. And even when I don't even want to do it. But thanks. And appreciate the tip. I just need to try harder mentally, i think.”
“Thank you. I understand that tip, it's just that I have a hard time actually following through with things like this. It's like, I can do that, or I can just give in to the urge. Ik it's something only I can fix through more mental will. Glad to know you overcame your addiction.”
“This is your addict brain talking. Please go to meetings and get a sponsor. Addiction rewrites your brain to only focus on getting your fix as you go higher in the addiction scale. Your brain and body are both still growing so excessive use at this stage and still impact your development, health, and increase your chances of a psychotic break. Please be careful!”
“Not sure if youre looking for tips but as someone who has struggled with some addictions in my life for a long time the biggest tips I can offer are: Pushing your nervous system into a different state makes dealing with addiction quite different feeling. Moderate length walks (45-90 minutes) in the woods (city doesnt work nearly as well) is the easiest way to achieve this that ive found. Although meditative breathing (5-20 min), some yoga, and even mixing in fasting can calm the nervous system.”
using grandpa’s work computer probs made it harder to set boundaries
“I'm just venting here. But here goes nothing. As far as I remember, I (F22) discovered porn very young, including very hardcore stuff, maybe at like 9-10. I was also reading too much 'dead dove' sort of stuff in fanfictions and stories on the internet. I had unrestricted access. My parents were scolding me for being on computer too much but both are working, so it's not like they could particularly control it. And it was my grandpa's work computer. I sort of developed an addi”
“You would think I'd get bored but honestly no I don't. I have peace of mind and no one can take that away from me.”
“Look into ibogaine Therapy, it's not a quick fix but it is the best start to quitting any addiction”
“Sure thing, but yes women have a parasympathetic nervous system as well, and it is in charge of engorgement, and everything I said goes exactly for women as for men.”
“You can find therapists in your state or province who offer virtual sessions through Psychology Today's therapist database, and you can filter the search results for your state and filter for ones that offer virtual/telehealth therapy.”
“I had bad experiences with it before too. Usually thats more a problem with the actual therapist in my experience though. Most therapists who offer telehealth also do in person. I now have a therapist who has been the best therapist I've ever had (8 years with around 6 different therapists), and I've never met her in person. I see her once a week on my computer screen. She is based in my state 3 hrs away.”
“Hi, first of all you are so strong for posting here. I'm sorry to hear about this addiction that has taken ahold of you. It seems like you have a good head on your shoulders, and can realize what triggers you, and how to mitigate that. I understand what you're saying. You want to have complete control over your mind and body, and not feel like some addiction is forcing you to do it. It sounds like you're doing everything right. Keep going down this path, and you will see progess. I&#”
“It walked me closely through a minor drug addiction I’ve had for 7 years. Amazing.”
“i actually went through something pretty similar myself so i know how exhausting those urges can feel and how convincing that little voice saying just do it once can become six months clean is a huge thing though and having urges again doesnt erase any of that when it gets really bad try to focus on getting through just the next few minutes instead of the whole night stay around someone you trust if you can and put some distance between yourself and anything you might use to hurt yourself keepin”
“oh! i am too and i had the same problem.. it wasn’t going for as long as you for sure, it was only for half a year or so.. theres no point behind this comment, js thought u should know ure not alone”
“So you initiate sex after porn? Does she ever initiate? If so what happens if you hadn’t just watched porn prior to it?”
“A lot of men in a similar situation out here, youre not alone but its rough. Advice never seems to work but we all gonna make it out.”
“I know how old you are it says, but yeah from reading the article that’s not small that’s average. I don’t think you ruined your life. I think you need to balance your life out more. Maybe start exercising change your diet. You’ll lose weight you’ll get in shape trim your bush down there to make it look bigger like all kinds of things you can do.”
“I'd understand if you aren't able to, but therapy is urgently needed. I avoided therapy for a while for my social anxiety and hypersexuality, but if your a victim of SA- it's serious. Just because you know how corrupt, wrong, and painful it was doesn't sadly mean your unaffected from it. There may be behaviors you urgently need to address that are unfortunate consequences of it. It changed my life.”
“Urges happen, it isn't a weakness or a failure. You don't fix mental health with drugs, prescribed or illegal, nothing will do it. If your partner would get upset with you rather than be concerned for you, maybe your partner isn't the best one to have. I'm not anti drugs, but real healing is about confronting the pain we have using kindness, patience and understanding. Treat yourself as a friend and support yourself as you would of someone else you cared for was in your position.”
“I completely understand what youre going through. You're not the only one, and there is help”
“For context, yes I had a p*rn addiction in the past, for about 3 years on and off but quit around 2 years ago. While I've long since quit it and social media, I haven't been desexualized. Not even a bit, still the exact same. (I dont even masturbate. Not kidding) I sexualize anything nowadays, and anyone. It's annoying, I genuinly havent so much as glanced at someone from the opposite gender yet i get the opposite response long after quitting the fuel? submitted by /u/ta1”
“You’ve done all you can. It’s up to him to help himself. He has to feel it’s a big enough problem to address it. As odd as it may sound, maybe he’s comfortable getting down on himself. It’s better for him to criticize himself than to hear and feel it from others. If it’s affecting you, then you decide if you care enough to stay in this relationship and support him. But if you do, you must set up parameters and options to buffer you from his negativity and self loathing. Or if you think it best y”
“Honestly, the fact that you are worried about becoming like this at 40 is already a good sign. You are 17, you have plenty of time to break these patterns. If you keep repeating the same behaviors, maybe try talking to a therapist about why instead of trying to fix everything alone. You cannot know who you will be at 40, just focus on who you are becoming now.”
“Masturbation itself isn’t inherently harmful unless it starts to get in the way of your normal function and cause you distress. I recommend you record yourself talking to yourself. Just let your opinion on it and your feelings out. When you feel the urge play the video and I think this might help you make it less distressing and less frequent. Just remember to not be too tough on yourself.”
“im struggling with something same and im reading it now hopefully it stops this cycle it has lowk affected my mental health a lot”
I mean, I have a different perspective on this as well. I sent you a DM.
“Tell it like you told us here. A good therapist will listen and not judge. If you find it too embarrassing, screenshot just the text part of your post and send it to them before the session. My therapist has a work phone that I can text them to ask anything”
“Hi Im, P, and I want to confess that I am a porn addict. I first got introduced to it at 15 years of age and since then its been a love-hate relationship. During teens and early 20s it was cool but post 25 its been heavy guilt trip. Post my graduation the distant friends and the rut of new job has made me crazy depressed. And I have been using porn to numb the feelings. I know its not healthy. It has progressed to such an extent that I have started paying to cam girls for small sessions and even”
“Don't start it again who knows maybe this this time you won't stop and it becomes a habit... Don't do it”
“Honesty is key, I did get off a porn addiction, but even before then I couldnt feel a damn thing”
“When it gets that bad mate you cannot just “cut your self off” especially if it numbs your pain. It is a dangerous road your going down. A lot of people have gone down this road and eventually what you see online is not enough. I highly suggest you speak to a GP (Dr) do not mention incriminating things. Mention how your feeling and where you feel it may lead. They will help you. They have an obligation to help you.”
“Respect for reaching out. I'd encourage you to try SAA to get support and friendship from ppl with similar struggles. It's hard to do it alone.”
“Yeah, I've been to a bunch of different therapists for the last three years and I'm currently seeing one as well”
“I know. It sounds funny but porn can really hurt you, more than people think. It really is like a drug and after you get the rush, you end up even more depressed. Think about all the rock songs where those dudes went into whorehouses and ended up broke and drinking away their pain.”
“There are other positive things you could do like exercise or meditate on good things. As you do new actions, it might take a long time but over time you're brain will change/adapt & your reactions will be better.”
“I mean, an addiction isn't classified by how often you do something necessarily, but by how you feel about it”
“Yeah real ones. This is just weird. And 2-5 times a month doesn’t seem like addiction to me.”
“Im a doctor and in my opinion it's just like any addiction and the best way to stop is to try a taper. So basically just cut down a bit each week and also find something to fill your time with. Something that you enjoy and that will keep you physically and mentally busy.”
“Why you watch porn when you have wife,and why are you looking for relationship”
“Has anyone reading this ever got treated for this? If so, what steps did you take to straighten your life out so you aren’t dependent on what just began as a habit? Please, serious responses appreciated. My marriage is at risk. Thanks. submitted by /u/cmooresun333 [link] [comments]”
Give some advice submitted by /u/Fit_Interaction7576 [link] [comments]
“You are very brave for posting this ☺️ None of it was your fault. You are still a kid in some respects (no offence intended),and this guy took advantage of that in the most grotesque way. He belongs in hell. It’s times like this that I wish time travel was possible so we could go back and prevent horrible things like this from occurring. All I can recommend is reaching out to a doctor and a psych if you can afford it. They can help you with coping as well as giving you the proper medication to h”
“Hello im a 15 year old that is heavily addicted to porn. This is the First time that im Talking about it. It is ruining me. I was introduced to porn at about 6-7 years old. Eversince then i would watch porn and masturbate almost every day. The longest I didnt watch porn were 2 fucking weeks. In all of my fucking years of watching porn I only could last 2 weeks. Every one tells me that its normal for teens my age. Is it? Is it normal to spend Hours on the toilet to goon. Is it normal to fucking g”
“Not necessarily. The fact that you're seeking help means you don't get put away immediately, lol Lots of guys your age are in therapy for violent urges. I have a lot of respect for you that you're looking for a way out.”
“This doesn’t feel real, I shouldn’t be writing this, i dont know how things can so horribly wrong so quick. I have a porn addiction and have been struggling with it for 6 years. It has led to anxiety, OCD and depression. It’s my biggest shame, well might be my 2nd biggest after what happened yesterday. I feel sick I’ve barely eaten and slept. I’m 23 years old and I’m so sad and I’m so sorry for what I think I may have done. When you’re trying to feed that addiction, you don’t think, you’re looki”
“So I literally just relapsed, but I don't think it counts and I've been trying to convince myself it doesn't as most of them have barely broken skin and you can kind of count two of them as cat scratches but I'm not sure because they're barely cuts and they're barely bleeding, this is as the only thing I have access to is a mini Flathead like the ones u use for ur glasses and I've been trying with that submitted by /u/Emotional-Bet7259 [link] [commen”