Writers Seek Feedback on Early Chapters

submitted by /u/AdvantageHonest7148 [link] [comments]

“Short version: Children are being raised on a robotically run spaceship with the goal of being sent down to an alien planet to colonize it one day. Does this story seem too dark? It involves ejecting children into outer space if they do not meet strict developmental goals. At the same time, I think it fits this dark/unforgiving environment of "we don't have the resources to spare on someone who probably wont make it in the end." Also having trouble deciding if this story would make”

“I've just finished my first novel-length project, about 64,000 words of upmarket psychological fiction. It's the longest thing I've ever written, and I'd like real readers to tell me what works: whether the characters develop convincingly, how my prose and pacing land, and where it drags or confuses. The story: Eleanor, a late-diagnosed autistic forensic engineer and single mum, falls for Kaveh, a clinical psychologist who seems to understand her completely. As her mother is dyin”

“I really liked it for an opening to a cosmic/sci-fi/fantasy/romance novel. The writing might be wonky or too direct and squared. submitted by /u/Puzzleheaded_Wash366 [link] [comments]”

“After three days that had lasted mere minutes for Eren and Emilia but months for everyone else, the group finally left Zulk'har behind. Following Iris's earlier suggestion, they had begun a four-day journey toward the lands of Almirah in search of peace, comfort, and a place away from danger. Silence prevailed for most of the first day. Whenever Eren and Kaelen exchanged glances, Eren could clearly see the anger and hatred in Kaelen's eyes. Kaelen still held him responsible for Vex&#”

“Hi, so I've been writing stories for few years. I used to give it to my friends to read and somehow their friends and people i never knew started reading my stories too. After that i started posted in wattpad and got quite a few readers. But things happened and i never got to finish that story. So i planned to write an actual book. The progress is very slow but i'm trying my best to finish this book. It is still my first draft and needs a lot of editing. But would appreciate if you can g”

“Here's one I just wrote. What do you all think? (I like to keep the technical stuff simple and don't answer everything or even anything. It's just the style I like to write stuff this short in and it keeps stuff moving, onto the next idea.) Why Did You Leave? ‘Jerry, wake up. It’s time for school.’ ‘Mum? Is that you? Mum?’ Jerry jolts awake, ‘no! Wait. Mum, come back! It’s been 6 years, I’m 20 now, it’s not getting better. I miss you, why did you leave?’ ‘One day I’ll see you both ag”

“hi! i've been writing for about 10ish years, but just now have started seriously sharing things on reddit/social media. i'm mostly looking for people to share feedback on my stories, just to help me get better at writing and to fuel my desire to write more. i have two stories posted on different subreddits you can find on my reddit page/profile (i still don't really know how all this works) if anyone would like to read and give feedback, that would be wonderful! i also am writing the”

“Only about 1,000 words so far but would appreciate any early impressions or feedback! Time En Passant 1. e4 c5 As the five of us were preparing to leave, I’d insisted on bringing a chess set. Not a fancy one, nothing antique or bespoke, just the standard twenty-dollar club set you can buy anywhere. Plastic pieces, a rollup sheet of sixty-four squares, and a convenient little carrying case. Classic, durable, perfect for a long flight. Ninety-nine years later, I’m glad I did. We’ve exhausted the s”

“I've been working on this novel for a while now - please note that despite this being three drafts in, there are still some names that are place holder names (such as Old Kingdom & New Kingdom, these will be changed in time, but for now they exist to separate the two) My concerns: I don't think my first line has enough 'punch' per say. I also feel that despite not directly discussing the weather, it still feels as though its starting with the weather. I'm wondering if it”

“Hello! hope I'm doing this correctly. Asking for feedback on the opening chapters. Especially around ch.2. Checking for Engagement. Would you put it down or keep reading? Is it too dense? Or is it not enough? I have the first 5 chapters ready with a google doc link for anyone interested. Just let me know! submitted by /u/Odd_Preparation4608 [link] [comments]”

submitted by /u/DarrowOlyk [link] [comments]

“(This is the whole of Chapter 1) Also, I'm looking for beta readers to send the full manuscript to from mid-November. It's near-future fiction. Let me know if you'd like to read it! Thanks so much x submitted by /u/nonaof [link] [comments]”

“Hey, fellow writers! I'm looking for a few critique partners or beta readers, and I'm more than happy to return the favor. I've finished my first novel, Our Lives Between Worlds. It's about 84K words, an adult psychological relationship drama with sci-fi and explicit erotic elements. It's character-driven, a slow burn, and definitely not your typical space adventure. Here's the thing. I'm not asking anybody to commit to reading an entire novel. Hell, let's start w”

“This is what I have so far. I am looking for Feedback; I know it is not that normal grammar or sentence structure and may confuse a fair bit of people, but that's fine... It's unconventional. Contains: Body Horror & Mutilation, Blood & gore, Disturbing Imagery, Physical horror, Partial Nudity, Disturbing Imagery, Existential themes and hopelessness, Swearing, and Smoking ​It Sleeps That morning he awoke, awoke at the place he was spending continuance in, awoke with everything as”

“I haven't really received any positive feedback on my writing. So far I've been told I write like English isn't my first language(I may be from the south, but redneck is at least a form of English), I have too many Info dumps, and my prose are generally hard to parse what they mean. I have been working on this story for years and am reaching a point where I have to decide finally if I should continue. I know this is only a couple of pages, but I genuinely haven't heard anything g”

“Prologue —Trapped… a feeling all to familiar to Isaac. Who was watching the Night sky, while sitting in opressing darkness, the only light source being the few stars, shining at the nights sky. „a full moon again…how much time has already passed?“ Isaac thought to himself… “and how long do I have till sunrise”? Isaac began to search the night sky for… something, “where is it… it’s almost time… there you are!” Isaac said keenly with a warm smile on his face, “and punctual as always friend” as Isa”

“hola hola! I am looking for somebody who is well-read in literature or has clear proficiency in the creative and technical aspects to evaluate my writing. there is a preview on my profile, but for somebody who would be genuinely interested (I understand it may feel jaded here) I would like them to evaluate my work on substack or archives I have on my devices. I am not traditional by any means, and am highly unorganised in my delivery and process, so I would love somebody to objectively assess an”

“I have been trying to improve my writing recently and would appreciate some honest feedback. Thanks. submitted by /u/Zestyclose-Item-825 [link] [comments]”

“Hi! i was tasked with writing a short story and would really appreciate some honest feedback on the writing, pacing, and emotional impact. Any suggestions are welcome! --- The sea was in a forgiving mood that afternoon. It lapped gently against the shore, whispering secrets to the sand before retreating, leaving behind a thin sheet of silver that caught the sunlight. The sky stretched endlessly above them, washed in pale blue, with clouds drifting lazily towards the horizon. Even the wind seemed”

“I’m a little bit out over my skis already and I’m going to finish it. I just tried to find a snippet that best has my style in it, that relies on the least amount of context. The context for this is pretty simple. My protagonist killed some campers in the woods and needs a car. She found some keys in one of their pockets. —————————— As she neared the end of the trail, it opened into an enormous parking lot. There were rows and rows of spaces, enough for a hundred cars, but only two waited beneat”

submitted by /u/xX-BarnacleBob-Xx [link] [comments]

“I posted a draft of this a few days ago if any of y'all remember. It was titled "toying with horror". Well, I got it done! Here it is! That's the completed prose, this is my first time getting something like this out there. So if you stopped by on the first pass, thanks for coming back! And if you're new to me, thank you for stopping by! I hope everybody enjoys the piece! submitted by /u/LingonberryOk5927 [link] [comments]”

“Chapter One Pasha Victory, as Pasha had found it after so many years spent with the crew, often smelled like blood in the morning and onions in the afternoon. The blood upon the deck had barely enough time to settle between the damp planks before the men set about washing it away with seawater. Pink streaks still lingered in places by the time the smell of roasting mutton and onions began drawing most of the men towards Puchero’s fire. They had put one of the sheep kept aboard as provisions on a”

“This is my second time posting on this sub, last time I did, I got some really good advice/feedback so I decided to post again. I wrote this as part of a teen writing project in my friend group where each girl choses a genre and writes a short novel and we share our thoughts on it. I really like writing contemporary and literary fiction, so I started writing this story after roughly outlining everything. I'd like some constructive criticism and advice on the first two chapters of my novel. [”

submitted by /u/electrovert [link] [comments]

litfic submitted by /u/astroguy15 [link] [comments]

“https://drive.google.com/file/d/1tbyW-8qCgd8jPCZBHa0A0-Hz\_RwFRDCE/view?usp=drivesdk *I updated the link bc for some reason it was reading as unavailable for me. If this doesn’t work please let me know Aspiring Writer Title: Statues (the PDF says student showcase because I wrote this for a showcase) Genre: Fantasy. In short, it’s about a prophet that has been finally reborn after hundreds of years of being missing. This is a conspiracy of the Church and State but is the central PLOT. It all culm”

“Here is my chapter 1 and my first snippet/interlude. I have these interludes between every chapter. All are in world documents. This is 2nd draft btw submitted by /u/Few-Lock-5109 [link] [comments]”

Yes I know Prologue is misspelled at the title. Fixed it after the Screenshots. This is second draft 😊 submitted by /u/Few-Lock-5109 [link] [comments]

“An Eye For An Eye - link to the story I've been working on! submitted by /u/ImLiterallyArat [link] [comments]”

“Hi everyone, this is my first time writing a story. I wrote a first draft and Looking for honest feedback on — does the tension work? Is the main character cold/calculating enough? And is the double-cross at the end clear? Thanks in advance. He wants to get up, but his body won't let him. It's in pain. He doesn't have a choice. If he's in pain, why get up at all? Because he is not in a state where he can listen to his body. His mind and his body are not the same. He knows he must”

“This is the start of a middle chapter of a novel I am writing. I would like to know: Is this engaging? Would you read the next page? Is it obvious that it was not written by a native English speaker? Any other feedback is also welcome and highly appreciated. This is my first time sharing my works. I am a bit nervous but please don't hold back punches if it's bad. submitted by /u/predator8137 [link] [comments]”

“Looking for if you are intrigued to keep reading. This is more or less just an idea I had in my head. Got it out quickly, this is hopefully going to be book 2 in a series I'm working on. Yes, I know there's typos in here. Wrote this one REALLY quickly just to get it out. submitted by /u/Erica_Park_94_Writer [link] [comments]”

“I’m not here to promote my book. I’d genuinely like to hear what other writers think about this premise. My first-contact sci-fi explores a situation where humanity encounters civilizations it doesn’t understand — and begins creating laws for how humans should interact with them. But there’s an obvious problem: How can humanity create laws for something it doesn’t even understand yet? That contradiction is one of the central ideas of the story. As writers, what do you think of this premise? Woul”

“Looking for some feedback on my rough draft of the first chapter, of the novel I'm working on. I have dyslexia so grammar and spelling is something that won't be perfect so no need to point it out, I promise I'll get to it. I'm wondering on how people feel of the character Mani, and the flow of the fight scene near the end. Thank you. - Signed Dragonfly submitted by /u/Strict-Market119 [link] [comments]”

“I know it’s slow but I wrote it that way on purpose if you enjoy slow methodical turtle like expansions in plot and character progression, let me know what you think about half of chapter one submitted by /u/mmrteo [link] [comments]”

“This is a side project. I am currently editing the first draft of my primary project, and just work on this book when I get burnt out. I have about 6 chapters written so far of this and just recently wrote the prologue. It’s more of an experimental thingy. It’s from the pov of the main character as if she’s writing the book from the distant future. I’ve done minimal editing/rewriting, so be nice please. Prologue One breath. A single day suspended in time that haunts your life. The memory stays f”

“Hey there! I'm developing a novel called Mystery Escapes and I'd love some reader reactions to the premise. I'm not looking for line edits at this stage - I'm really interested in whether this makes you want to know what happens next. Jenni Porter needs an escape. She just never expected one to arrive at her door. She's won a mystery flight. No destination. No explanation. And one small problem. Jenni never entered the competition. What follows is a journey of cryptic clues,”

“A short story I wrote over the weekend, only went through a few editing passes but looking for additional feedback. Thank you in advance. submitted by /u/dbsupersucks [link] [comments]”

“Below is my WIP story, heavily inspired by the Eric Nylund Halo novels and Cyberpunk 2077. It is in the very early writing stage and I would like any and all applicable feedback :3 Chapter One: Inducted Donovan, a grizzled old man, knelt down to Freya, his meaty hand outstretched towards Freya. Donovan grabbed his nameplate from his chest and gave it to her. It was a gold-and-blue emblem with the words "AMF Fleet Admiral Donovan." Freya reached out and touched the gold accent. Freya’s”

submitted by /u/Tricky-Menu-5183 [link] [comments]

“It took me about 6 weeks or something, a lot longer than I would've liked but I am very prone to procrastination. I'm just so happy I've done it!! It sits at 3,957 words and I am so happy with it! It's still the first draft so it'll probably be going through a lot of changes when I finish the whole book, BUT I DONT CARE!! I FINISHED A CHAPTER DAMMIT! Genre is adult epic fantasy if anyone's wondering :) What are some of your small celebrations? Let's share together!! &”

“This is a work of experimental literary fiction. I'm planning to structure my novel with mini, almost micro/flash fic kind of chapters/sections. I was inspired by this style of collaging from novels like Jack the Modernist and Observatory Mansions . I would love feedback concerning structure (and any other aspects that you think can be improved). I would also love any impressions!! submitted by /u/No-Lead737 [link] [comments]”

“Hey there. Long time reader, rare poster. I finally finished the sequel to my first Scifi novel, Calico. Im working on editing the 1st draft atm before I get another pair of eyes on it, but it has been deemed "Mastiff". I self published the first book and it looks like its almost impossible to publish traditionally with a sequel, so I decided that ill be better off just self publishing the series. Trying to have third one done (pre editing) by next November. Keep an eye out maybe? One”

“Hi fellow writers, and readers, This is the first chapter of my completed literary fiction novel. For context, this story stemmed from the fact that in West Africa where I'm from originally, being gay is still frowned upon. I was lucky to escape that when i moved to the United states. But over the years, I've watched as some close friends caved in from societal pressures to conform, marrying the opposite sex even when they're clearly not wired to do that. So, i decided the write this”

“This is the opening to my novel. I’m calling it literary fiction because it’s a bit experimental and weird and sometimes is dense with allusions and philosophy. I’m curious how people feel after reading this? submitted by /u/aut0nymity [link] [comments]”

“Hi im looking for general feedback on my writing and if it is enjoyable to read Im Awakening to the seagulls crying above, Jack felt his eyes pinch under the intense light. The waves washed over his feet. Feeling his head throb, he slowly stood up, his hands in front of his eyes. Wobbling towards the nearest tree, he fell two steps short of reaching it. Finally, under its shade, he saw the scene of wreckage. Piles of scrap metal were buried in the sand. Pieces of wood were scattered along the co”

“I’m curious how people react to my first page. I consider the novel to be a mix of literary fiction and ‘coming of age’. Thanks for reading submitted by /u/MunkeyGoneToHeaven [link] [comments]”

“This is a story I started working on this last Sunday. Any feedback or reactions you had while reading would be appreciated. (Be warned it’s slightly under 8k words long I believe). This is also NIT FINISHED and I’m giving you only 1 sub-chapter into chapter 3 to show you what comes next. Where Does The Easy Wind Blow? I When it was all said and done, what was left? Was it the people? Sure, if you’re cliche. Was it the trees? Hardly, the trees have all rooted. Then what was truly left; when it w”

“Im looking feedback on the story and if it is enjoyable to read Awakening to the seagulls crying above, Jack felt his eyes pinch under the intense light. The waves washed over his feet. Feeling his head throb, he slowly stood up, his hands in front of his eyes. Wobbling towards the nearest tree, he fell two steps short of reaching it. Finally, under its shade, he saw the scene of wreckage. Piles of scrap metal were buried in the sand. Pieces of wood were scattered along the coastline. Memory fra”

“Would you keep reading? If not, where does it lose your interest? What needs improvement? What is done well? Is anything confusing? Thank you for reading! submitted by /u/KestraNarassi [link] [comments]”

submitted by /u/AdWorldly556 [link] [comments]

“The Peculiar Man A man appeared on a gravel road. It was a normal man, nothing too special or particular at first, second, and third sight; at the fourth sight you still, most likely won’t see anything abnormal. His greying, curly hair swayed with the swirling winds like a tree's branches and leaves would. The bitter yet crisp air bit at his skin. Snow covered the naked trees and swallowed the once green grass. Other than the howling winds, nothing could be heard; other than the trees and sn”

“Hey Everyone! Just wanted to drop this here and request if anyone's interested in beta reading the following 3 chapters of my manuscript – premise below with the first 300 words: Premise: Drenched in vintage designer, TJ spends his mornings reciting his affirmations about his beauty and success; at night he closes his eyes and visualises weight gain and fatal accidents for others. As everyone’s favourite extra on The Chelsea Diaries , TJ sees every setback as proof of his destined stardom. S”

“I’m writing a short story about a character who is somewhat emotionally detached and naive about how the world works. He doesn’t know much about animals or medicine, but he has an almost childlike faith that if something is hurt, a doctor should be able to help it. While waiting for a train, he notices a bee lying between the stones. It is still moving and struggling, but seems too weak to fly. Without really questioning whether this makes sense, he picks it up and takes it to a veterinary clini”

“Let's go over this one last time. The target should arrive in twenty minutes or less. Any more than that and I might be forced to drop this whole thing altogether. Maybe I could work with thirty minutes but it hopefully wouldn't come to that. The risk was simply too great. It was my freedom at stake after all. "Nnngh!" If he came on time then I would subdue him as quickly and quietly as I could. I was much stronger than him and I’d have the element of surprise. It shouldn't”

“I’ve been rolling over this story for near on 3 years now, an ambitious project for me (especially as a first timer) spanning several books. I recently decided to try my hand at changing the perspective from first person and this is a mockup I made in like 5-10 minutes based on the beginning of the first book and very off the cuff. I’d love any input, but my main wonders are if it’s interesting, could potentially hook you and if I’m working with 3rd well. Obviously there’s grammatical things I’m”

“Hey, so im just make first chapter and i'm curious what do you thing. English it's not my native language so i used obvious tools only to translate it. Unless you prefer original language...? Joking ofc. :D I have tried to keep it a little darker, im mean narrative. And tried to find Elara's voice in hole storry. Idk is she convincing as main protagonist so far. Story is about Elara who's druid and also and werewolf and in urge to hide that from the rest of the world and vampires”