Children Struggling with Dysfunctional Family

Technically, you DON'T have to support them.

“I live with my parents currently, we’re looking to move out next year but at the moment living with my parents takes a toll on me at times. My mom seems to judge a lot, and she doesn’t see why it’s a problem, in fact she tells me she’s not judging me. Yesterday my son was in his swing, he’s three months, and my mom had the tv on and my son was trying to watch it so I placed something in the way so he couldn’t see it, for me I don’t want my son having screen time, even if it’s accidental, I know”

“Hi gents, We need to be better examples to our kids. My story: My dad was a serial cheater. Cheated on my mom with multiple women. He has 9 kids with 6 different women. I remember when he was still together with my mom. I was 7 years old at the time. He fetched me early from school because I was ill. When he got there, he was with some woman I didn't know. I remember thinking "This doesn't feel right." I was sitting in the back of the car watching them laughing and having a goo”

“Im 16 with multiple chronic illnesses that leave me somewhat homebound, My dad is getting a tattoo this Thursday and he said that if i wanted to get one too that he’d sign a consent form (this is probably an attempt to finally get me out of my house) but I jumped at the chance to because i’ve been nagging about getting one for almost a year now so i booked an appointment and now i guess im second guessing how i’m going to handle this because my system is just so weak i’m nervous that a tattoo mi”

“You sound overwhelmed my friend. Focus on uni and your own finances so you don’t turn into your dad. You literally can’t help your mom yet even if you wanted to until you get uni finished and finished well with a good job. Focus on yourself, keep your humility and remember this situation, the rest will pan out how it needs to.”

“Please talk to a school councilor or teacher, a coach, a kids help line, a community social worker or mental health worker, tell a trusted family member if you have one, or talk with a friend. I know you feel awful right now but it (life) will get better and just know this is not your fault. You do not deserve to be hurt and I'm so sorry that is happening to you. This situation is not your shame, it is your parents'.”

“This might be hard but can you tell your school ? I don’t know if that’s the best answer but they could help you get out of there? Tell your guidance counselor?”

“My parents fight all the time and are completely done with each other. They are fighting since i can think, my whole childhood is filled with negative memories about them fighting. Back then they could have normal conversations too but that changed a few years ago. About 2 years ago they separated their bedrooms and are sleeping seperately now. They dont have a normal conversation since then, they either ignore each other and dont speak at all or are fighting badly. You could ask why they dont d”

“Im a complete burden on my family, mom and dad work generously to provide us with everything me and my siblings demand My oldest brother is a medstudent his tuition fees is draing my parents along side with me nrusing stdent also in a private uni with my younger brother also approaching college add tons of work and effort for them I wish i could i just die or even finish my degree ans start helping them out bec its fuckin suck seeing your parents not living the kind of life they want and adore j”

“I’m someone who minds my business because I dislike people in my business & I understand that people have different parenting styles, and I try not to judge. However, I find it deeply disturbing when parents hit their children. A few weeks ago, I was at TJ Maxx when I overheard a little girl, probably around 3yo, having a breakdown. Her gma was holding her, and I heard her tell someone else how the baby’s mother spoiled her and thats why she’s crying like this bc she can’t have something in”

“Is this not normal? I'm the baby of my family and my mom had me at about 35 or 36. She was 50 when I was about your age. Weirdly she was 15 years senior to my ex-stepdad at the time lol but she's had about 5 husband's including my dad (whose also same age as her), but that's a whole other can of worms.”

“Yh we do but i feel like she doesn't always share everything that goes on in her mind”

“Same, my parents were 33 when they had me. My earliest memories were mostly funerals. All but 1 grandparent was gone before I was even born.”

“I used to. A client did contact my boss at work about my social postings. My boss just ignored it and told him to f off, he probably agrees with me. I've since made everything private. I've realized I don't need to share those opinions outside of my circle but I could understand how some people might feel that is self censorship. I think I more realized that shouting those opinions to the void didn't do anything anyways and made me feel bad.”

“Hey, so, I might have a slightly different perspective here. Whether it’ll be helpful or comforting… well, I don’t know. I’m 28. I spent the first 10 years of my life the youngest of 2, my brother being 5 years older than me. Parents had him at 24 & 26, me around 29 and 32. They had my sister, who is now 19, at 38 and 40. One of my parents & both my siblings are born in the same month. So, as he turned 33, she turned 19… our dad turned 60. I know where you’re coming from with the sense t”

Never met my g parents either!

“okay so dont come at me for having a brand new account, this is a throw away account because my dad and irl's know my main so for privacy im using this. also I posted this on other subs but I had alot of people comment and it really confuses me so I want like a parent perspective like is this all an accident or is it normal and im reading into it to much but yeah I just need a parents point of view. For context im 16 and a girl, and im homeschooled and basically this starts years and years a”

“I need help right now but I don't know how to tell my family just because of how they've acted in the past. My relationship with my mum is ok now but she has blamed me for her own mental health issues when I was only 14 and I simply don't know how to tell her because of that. I'm scared to tell any of my other family to as they'll just tell other members or not actually help. I need help now as there's only less then 2 months left of the summer and Idk what to do with col”

“- grew up with addict mom and emotionally absent dad . you know instability , fighting , dealing with lapses and all that .. my mom is my best friend but she’s hurt my heart so many times. when she’s herself i am so happy bc when she’s her she is a great momma.. but when she’s drinking or having a moment from detox or whatever she becomes someone else and it hurts to see . i’ve constantly fought to believe that one day it’ll change and it has been getting better over the years but each lapse bre”

“It's been a rough month or so, normally I'm used to being the second favorite parent, but after days and days of whining and moaning from both my girls whenever it's Daddy's night for bedtime (we alternate nights between the girls), it is I who threw the tantrum. I told my oldest if she's so mad that I'm putting her to bed tonight, then I'm just not going to do it, and I walked out while she cried. I know I should be the bigger person, I know that they love me, but da”

“I take care of her father, and yes, we generally get along. The problem is that sometimes he acts inappropriately like touching my thigh or boob and says things that make me uncomfortable. When I distance myself because of it, he starts saying he forgot because he has short-term memory loss. I understand he has memory issues, but it's confusing because he remembers plenty of other things. He even told me I look young for my age and said he thought I was 19. That made me even more uncomfortab”

“Tl;dr - My parents have been unwilling to discuss issues or complaints with my husband and I. The current complaint is that we are not doing enough for our daughter who is likely autistic. Husband felt disrespected and when confronted with the issue my Dad admitted he and Mom feel physically intimidated by him and don’t want to have the conversation in person. I wanted to come to Daddit and ask how would you feel if your in-laws told you something like this? How would you voice that you don’t wa”

“My father has Parkinson's and he's now falling a lot, this last fall has put him in the hospital, with kidney disease and full dementia, he can't talk anymore, or understand anything and I just can't wrap my head around the fact that even though he is still alive I will never hear him say, I love you, ____, or anything for that matter. He doesn't recognize anyone It just feels like I've already lost him once, and I'm going to lose him again. He's in so much pain.”

“My mom is pretty much the same. What makes it even harder for me is that even though she hurts me, my love for her still coexists right alongside that pain. In a situation like yours, it’s completely natural to feel depressed. I honestly don’t understand why someone with such a sensitive and beautiful heart like yours doesn't have many friends. Because you're going through the exact same things as me, and you're even a bit younger than me, I find myself worrying about you and empathi”

“For context, I am 25 years old and I am finally breaking free from the chokehold my family has put me in. I grew up in nyc with an undocumented mother all my life, she never filed for taxes and my father lived in Florida my entire life, he's a citizen and it’s claimed that he filed me as a dependent. my issue is, I do not know for certain. my mother is very ignorant and my father was sneaky. he did not send money, he never raised me and I seen him about 4 times in person my entire life. he l”

“I’ve had issue with my mom since my daughter was born 2.5 years ago. She used to watch my kiddo while I worked for the first 1.5 years. She never respected how I wanted to raise her including: -no yelling in the house. Cuz that’s all my mom did/dows yell scream when she doesn’t have her way or she mad/frustrated/annoyed. Just the other day commented how we talk to her so softly and bland. So …like and adult. -no putting on cocomelon type shows for her. -not feeding her chips and crap. She would”

“I grew up in a family where my parents were always arguing. Tbh, my father usually started it, I was always trying to stay close to them, and I wasn’t the type of girl who yells or gets nervous easily. That changed as I got older. I can’t handle conflict anymore, especially when someone talks about me in a way I don’t like. I lose control, cry quickly, and I can’t stay silent because I feel like I’m defending myself. Even my mother changed. She started telling me that I’m sick. At the same time,”

“TW: Loss, Grief, Depression, Suicidal thoughts I don't know where to start but I'll make this as short as concise as I possibly can. My mum was always my best friend growing up. I had other friends, sure but at the end of the day I liked hanging out with my mum most. I'm in my 30s and have lived with depression, anxiety, undiagnosed ocd and, as it turns out, (now diagnosed) adhd for most of my life. My mum never knew about anything like that so it went completely unnoticed. For years”

“I want to start this post by saying that english is not my first language so any grammar or ortographic mistake happened because of that reason I live with both my grandma and my mother, the both of them tend to accumulate a lot, so my house is pretty much full of things that we don’t even use, and i also have 3 cats, with one of them being a male so my house also really smells like cat pee and sometimes vomit or puke, also since both of my mom and grandma are accumulative people i have started”

“my parents had a huge argument yesterday and my father said hurtful things like i should give him poison and kill him, have him dead that night, he also banged his head against a chair, he started throwing things and banging them. he also banged his hands in fist on the dinner table so hard that things on the table fell and all of these things keep coming to my mind whenever i am sitting alone. how do i get over this ? my father behaved like that many times whenever he had any argument with my m”

“Hi, I'm 17F, and I live with my very South Asian family. Our family is somewhat modern, yet still very backward when it comes to traditions. We're Bengalis, and we moved from Bangladesh around six years ago. We now live in Namibia due to my parents' work. I have a brother who's now 30, and he's been a constant drug abuser since he was around 14 or 15. My mom, my brother, and I used to live alone in Bangladesh because my father was working abroad. It was kind of like my parent”

“I just wanted to share this to see if anyone else is living in a similar situation and get their thoughts on it. I lived in a house until i was about 16, but when my parents got divorced i moved with my mom into an apartment (staying with my dad isn’t an option). And i absolutely hate it. I have no privacy, i can hear every word everyone is saying if they’re in the kitchen or living room, and people outside can hear everything i’m saying. i can’t have friends over anymore because there’s not eno”

“My mom didn’t end it, she passed from cancer. Losing a loved one regardless of the cause is not something you ever, “get over” and her and I had a complicated relationship.”

“Yeah I also had an ex that the dad would routinely “borrow” money from to buy beer. Never paid her back either. Even “borrowed” money to buy her mom’s birthday gifts. Never paid back. He made good money, just no idea where it all went. . .”

“I don't know if this is the right subreddit for this, but what i know is this one is full of dads and i need all the mental supports there is. Lost my dad to alcohol poisoning in Nov 2021 when he was just 50yo. We were very close, i can say he was my best friend. 5 years forward i still find myself crying over small things that remind me of him. I know it'll never get any easier, I'll get stronger instead. But next year I'll have my wedding with the 2nd best man after him. I didn”

“TLDR sorry for the rant I'm overwhelmed with how quickly my parents are deteriorating and my father's wife didn't tell me my dad collapsed and has been in the hospital since Monday. Lesson=keep active Let me preface this with saying my father has a cell phone that he keeps in the top drawer of his dresser charged maybe 10% of the week. I try and keep in contact with him but it's tough. He has no land line. Uses the library to access the internet [which of course he calls "th”

“we live with my grandma because her house is paid off so my mom doesn’t have to worry about rent, but it doesn’t change how broke she is and maybe this is bad to say, but i feel like as i get older, she angers me more and more. she couldn’t even afford me, yet we got a dog when i was six and she had my younger brother too some years ago. she’s not abusive in any capacity, i just hate how she makes these stupid choices she has no financial right to because the stress just rubs off onto me. im exh”

“I come from a Richish family. My father owns everything lots of land & rental properties. Till I was 21, i was never thought the concept of work or getting a job. My dad has consistently been making $100k+ every year since 2005 buying lands in places that make no sense and barely appreciate compared to other places. I don’t blame him he came from nothing got into real estate brokerage and knows nothing else. 2022 i completed my Bachelors in civil engineering. And ive been my dads assistant f”

“All, I would like to start by stating my appreciation to the advice I got from the experts on this sub. You guys are great people. My father is talking to me again, (barely) however there is absolutely no way I am allowed to fix that wall. I just don’t want him to permanently resent me for this. Although I am not allowed to fix that wall, I have a new found interest in drywall and I would like to learn the California Patch. Thank you all. submitted by /u/CharmingRaisin8015 [link] &#3”

“For parents who felt socially isolated and have high levels of stress, what did you do to make it better? Does changing a place helps? Joining clubs or anything like that? We live in a big city where everybody is busy and we meet people very rarely. When we do it is a bit better but again it feels a bit artificial as all we do is discussions about achievements, health, education and staff for the kiddos. Sometimes feels like we put our kids on a race for achievements with other kids or among fri”

“im not a parent with someone at home as an adult who has menatl health issues. But i am the adult child living at home with my parents still at 35 with some pretty bad mental health issues. whcih for me blows in a lot of ways. part of me really wants to be independant and knowing im not capable of it really hurts. From being on his end i can't say much because everyone is different. I still have problems even with medication. Im not a physically violent person. wasnt before my mental health”

“My mom has always been a very volatile person. She alternates between being extremely kind and generous, to being toxic and controlling. If I ever say anything or do anything that makes her feel guilty, she lashes out. An example is that my mom used to always attack and say nasty things about my best friends parents, even though she never met them (she refused to, even though I was around them so much!). When I asked her why she did that, she admitted that it was because she was jealous that I w”

“It’s honestly unbearable. Once he’s smoked, he’s fine. Amazing, even. He’s normal in a way. He’s funny, and actually nice to be around. But when he’s not smoked, in the morning for example, he’s basically fucking batshit. He’s terribly grumpy and just lashes out at anything. There’s been multiple instances where he’s just made a complete mess in the house because of tiny things that have went wrong. For example, once, I didn’t shut like the lid to the little plastic thingy my bar of soap goes in”

“Honestly, I feel like I should be blaming my parents for how mentally fucked up I am. I can't approach a girl, I don't feel like a man. I don't go out nearly as much as I'd want to (and as a consequence I don't meet any new people). I've been taught to always obey and never express my own thoughts. That's probably caused the lack of incentive now when I'm in my early 20s and I also show some patterns which could signal I'm avoidant. But anyways, what made me a”

“Hi guys, To start im 21f, i have three other siblings; 17f, 24m, and 27f. So im basically a middle child. My two older siblings are independent, never had any problems or issues, both work stable jobs. My little sister is going into university, shes super smart. On the other hand i guess you could call me the “troubled” child, i struggle with depression, im fkn jobless cus i can’t find a job for the life of me, and i plan on going back to school the following fall. I’ve had a couple incidents gr”

“OP, set your parents up with a way to do video calls with you. That way you can still live far away but also maintain close bonds/contact.”

“Me and ex broke up more than a week ago. Moved back with my parents. They’re happy to have the baby around. My baby (16months) has been obsessed with my mom. Doesnt care for me much. It fucking sucks. I was a SAHM so I’m still home all the time for now(currently applying to places) but my baby just wants grandma. It breaks my heart. I saw online it’s normal but damn it still sucks. And now that Ill be going back to work eventually and my parents will be taking care of him plus splitting days wit”

“I never thought I'd be writing something like this, but I'm exhausted and looking for advice from parents, teachers, psychologists, or even teenagers who may have been on the other side. My daughter is 17 and in Class 12. Over the last two years, we've caught her lying repeatedly. It started with hiding answer sheets and hiding things from us. We talked to her calmly, explained why honesty matters, and hoped it was just a phase. Then there were incidents involving inappropri”

“I’m feeling really sad because I got my dad riled up after looking like he beat me up when he did not, which I do that way too many times, along with disrespecting my aunt a few times, having trouble listening and earlier, making me feel like god hates me for not believing in him, I know that last part should have been in the religious trauma section but I really do not know why I can’t just be respectful, he full on yelled at me like I did the most horrible thing. I know this sounds like I hate”

“It sounds like you’re stuck in abit of a bad loop and the only way to exit it is to break it even if it does seem daunting like. Your respect for your parents is admirable but when parts of it is negatively effecting you something needs to change Yeno. You need to start prioritising your self you deserve to enjoy life. Do you have the relationship with your parents where you can voice like not being able to connect with people online whilst having anxiety around going out and meeting people is k”

“I'm 17F, I don't know what to do anymore, my parents are basically telling me to go friendless because they saw the convos as me being badly influenced by my friends but in reality I've always been that way. They invaded my privacy just because I always come home tired and cranky (school is 7:30am yet I always leave at 6am because I have to drop off my siblings too, and then I arrive home at 6pm.) So I always have the tendency to become irritable whenever I get home but I still do th”

“My mom was not the worst parent but had/has some issues, exacerbated by the religion she joined when I was young. She was always very critical of what I wore growing up. Any reaction a man had about me was my fault because of what I was wearing. When I was 13 I was wearing long, to the knee, jean shorts and a baggy t-shirt and some random guy cat called me. My mom lost her shit. At me. For wearing inappropriate clothing. Needless to say, I have some major body issues. Fast- forward to now, I&#39”

“my mom has struggled with depression, anxiety, and PTSD her whole life, along with other things. recently, she announced an unplanned trip making a stop 6 hours away before heading to tennessee, which is at least a day’s drive from where we live. she said she’s going no matter if anyone goes with her. she’s also been making a lot more erratic purchases recently, just today she got a package for a paddle board when she’s never ever shown interest in things like that before. i’m worried she’s plan”

“It’s mid summer, so it’s time for my families Bi-annual relocation crisis. ~I say this in jest, but every time my BIL visits with his kids it is always a stark reminder that neither of my brothers are going to have kids, both are…kind of uninvolved (they see my son 6x a year, but its all adults being adults). They don’t help watch him, or really have the skills to do so, which is fine. We find ourselves wondering if we should just uproot and go back to where we came from to be closer to my BIL.”

“Took me a while to learn "family enmeshment". "Grey stoning", is a technique for getting by with difficult people. Do what you gotta do until you can get your own space (physically/mentally). You wont go far on youtube with topics you dont like, and you wont get far following advice that doesnt fit you. As for successful youtubing: find a topic you like and share it with people. YouTube is an audience for a hobby of yours. A hobby of hobbys of sort, not a money making scheme.”

“I grew up alone with my mother! My father was quite distant! I always listened to my mother and I did academically well! My mother who's a narcissist, got praise from my teacher's oh your son is really good, oh your son is better than other kids! As a result, I was put on immense pressure and thus, my self esteem lowered day by day! As a teenager, I was broken ! My girlfriend dumped me, my academics went downhill in high school! All of these things were hitting me! I never reacted to con”

“forgive me for how badly this will be written as im panicking:,) im fourteen and my mom is in her early fifties. my father is not in the picture. i rely alone on my mother solely for a roof over my head, food, etc. earlier today i went on my moms gmail account for a security code and found an email from our landlord, (sent today,) informing my mom that she was in ~16k of rent debt, and that an attorney would be involved within 7 days if the balance was not payed off. i had no clue the rent was n”

“We have a 2yo. I love my baby more than anything. Unfortunately, my wife and I have come to a point where things are reaching an end. It’s unfortunate for our baby. I think for me personally, I am grieving being able to provide a normal upbringing for my child. I am realizing I chose the wrong person to have a child with, and I am beating myself up the most because the warning signs were always there for over a decade. I tried to leave a few times but got guilted into staying. Now that we have a”

“I just cant appreciate a frivolous gift as much right now when finances are so so tight. My parents have been asking me what I'd like as a birthday gift. (Divorced but both are asking). Would it be a horrible social faux pas to just ask them to please contribute money (whatever is comfy) towards me buying a new mattress? Or should I not even bark up that tree? submitted by /u/HeyHo_LetsThrowRA [link] [comments]”