Parents Grappling with Difficult Birth Experiences
Several parents are sharing traumatic birth experiences, including emergency C-sections and NICU stays due to complications. They're expressing emotional distress and fear related to these events.
SOURCES (60)
“Hi all, I had a fairly traumatic birth with the plan going completely out of the window and some unfortunate dealings with midwives. I was also incredibly sleep deprived in the lead up to my emergency c section. This has also meant I wasn’t comfortable…”
“7 days post partum and my lord I am LOST. traumatizing c section after a failed induction. Less than helpful husband. And I just feel like …. I’m dreaming? Nothing feels real. My head feels like it’s up in the clouds and I’m watching myself. Not only do I feel like things aren’t real but I also feel like I am failing miserably. Baby lost weight twice. All he does is poop. The worst diaper rash. Who let me be a mom because I apparently am terrible at it. Anyone else feel this way after birth? ”
“I am about a week and a half away from my scheduled c-section for baby #2 and I genuinely like I am going to lose my mind. I have a 19 month toddler and this pregnancy has been hard. Thankfully, i'm not sick or anything but being pregnant with a toddler will really rock you. I have been short-tempered, constantly exhausted, not my normal patient self and just feeling really out of sorts (especially the last few months). I also feel guilty about being pregnant daily and how things will change”
“My birth story was quite traumatic. Hemorrhaged daughter wasn’t breathing much at first and my care team was horrible (gave birth during a nursing strike and the travel nurses were less than empathetic). I got pushed out of the hospital in less than 24 hours and all shit hit the fan when I got out of the car at home. Was weak dizzy and a whole bunch of other shit. And then less than 24 hours from being released my daughter had an ALTE. I thought she was dying so we rushed her to the hospital and”
“I had my first baby in November 2024 and it ended up in a C-section due to a failed induction. I never really laboured but was in the hospital (and awake for majority of it) for 37 hours before they finally called it and brought me to the OR in the middle of the night. The procedure itself was fine but recovery was awful. I ended up being in the hospital for another 4 days afterwards for an abundance of issues (most of which was just poor care but that’s a story for another day). We’re expecting”
“Hi everyone, I had a pretty traumatic birth experience, i had an emergency induction at 36 weeks due to severe preeclampsia, baby girl was just fine thank God but she was very tiny, 4lbs at birth. Turns out my placenta was very small. Then for the first 2.5 months she had severe colic and screamed hours and hours a day, turns out she had cmpa which resolved once we switched formulas. Because of all of this i became very strict and anxious. Constant researching trying to figure out how to help he”
“My baby boy was born very prematurely. He now has a slew of health problems and he hasnt been home for 8months now; only going from one hospital to another for procedures. Latest procedure was for his left pulmonary vein stenosis… which now may have caused seizures. Hopefully not a stroke. He’ll have his MRI soon. I may have already lost my mind sometime during this whole clusterfck. Do I need help, maybe and also I don’t fckn know. I want miracles for my little love, thats for sure. Will talkin”
“Warning: PPH. It took me some time to find the courage to share my birth experience because I didn’t knew this could happen. Gave birth 4 months ago to a beautiful baby girl. The pregnancy was wonderful, no problems at all. Also up until I delivered everything was going well. It was a lot better than I expected. Me and my partner were so relaxed, we were ready and exited to meet our little baby. I had a very long delivery because I dilated fully after a very long time and the baby didn’t want to”
“I had my baby today! I’m so happy, but it was honestly the worst experience of my life. 30+ hours of labor (and no sleep during that time), two failed epidurals, and a baby who turned himself halfway through led to a C-section that I did not plan for but desperately needed for my mental and physical well-being. I’ve never had surgery before and a C-section terrified me because of the nature of the process. What do you wish you knew about healing beforehand, what things did you do to cope, and wa”
“I’m a FTM to a baby boy who was born via C-section because he was breech. He is 6 days old now, and I’m feeling very overwhelmed both physically and mentally but only at night. He is so peaceful and honestly the best baby all day long, but once around 9 p.m. hits, everything seems to change. During the day, he eats every 2–3 hours and takes fairly normal amounts, as directed by the hospital. He sleeps happily in between feeds after a quick burp. In the evening, though, he becomes extremely fussy”
“Wife and I welcomed a beautiful baby girl last week. It was an extremely traumatic birth, with my wife having an actual near death scare. I can’t bring myself to put all the dark/difficult details into words, but it does end with she and I coming home with our baby girl and everyone is doing just fine. But I can’t shake the anxiety - I’m having trouble eating and sleeping, am experiencing intense chest pain, and am in a state of panic most of the time. I feel like I am already failing in keeping”
“TLDR; C-section was hardest emotionally, you should prepare for one even if you plan to deliver completely naturally and are having a perfect pregnancy so far. Focus on the positives. I joined this sub years before I got pregnant and found reading the birth stories immeasurably helpful in understanding and preparing for labor and birth, so I wanted to give back and share my own birth story. My son was breech pretty much the whole pregnancy. He was only head down at one appointment and I don'”
“I previously had a planned C-section, and I found the recovery really difficult. I was breastfeeding, so I was only offered paracetamol for pain relief, which didn’t seem to help much at all. I’m due again in a couple of weeks and I’m planning to breastfeed this baby too, but I’m honestly dreading the recovery. I’ve heard people say that recovery can sometimes feel harder or take longer when breastfeeding, partly because of limitations around certain painkillers and also because it can be diffic”
“Baby is 3 days old and was planned c section at 36w3d. In the hospital he was good about sleeping and was easy to be put down in his bassinet. First night at home homie was not vibing. We could not put him down without a fit. We anticipated rotating who got up every couple of hours but it turned into rotating who stayed awake to hold him and switching every 90ish minutes. I understand his body isn't quite ready to be here and he wants the extra warmth and the bassinet is more open aired but”
“(Please do not read this if you may find the above triggering)🩷 Medical trauma experienced as a child is affecting my pregnancy and birth plan, I know this is probably a bit of a long shot but has anyone been through anything similar at all and wouldn't mind maybe buddying up to support each other? For reference this is my first pregnancy. When I was 13 years old I needed a couple pretty serious operations where I would need to be under general anaesthetic for 10+ hours at a time. When I wa”
“My son is just about to turn five and so many women in my circle have given birth since then. I had a c section, not planned, but not emergency. Apparently the best surgeon at my practice did it and I didn’t have a hard recovery. She said she took her time stitching the layers (my husband remembers this and not me), she gave me real stitches deep and dissolving ones on the superficial layers. I went back after 10 days and she took some out. I expressed vague concerns about my tattoo not being we”
“My son was a large baby, had like a 85th percentile head and was 90% for weight… overall big and I ended up having to do a c-section after failing to push him out (I pushed for 4.5 hours plus they even tried the vacuum and still couldn’t wiggle his head past my pelvic bone). My OB wanted to monitor this pregnancy closer just incase it’s another big one so she could recommend another c-section (if needed). I went in for a growth scan a couple days ago (at 30 weeks 4 days), completely prepared to”
“After two miscarriages my wife and I are very happy to be 11 weeks pregnant, it looks like everything is going right this time. The first two times we barely even had a chance to really think about what life would be like. This time, I’m freaking out. How am I going to know what to do? The internet seems filled with contradictions. How do you know how to keep a kid alive? How do I know what to do with it? I’m worried about the newborn months right now but what happens in year, 5, or 10? How did”
“I’m a FTM, 28F. I had my baby boy 10months last November through an emergency c-section far away from family in a different country. Recently, I have started to feel overwhelmed. I have had a headache everyday for the last month. I am exhausted. my body hurts, my skin is acting up, my hair is falling out, I am constantly on the verge of crying but feel like I can’t get it out but mostly I’m really fucking tired of breastfeeding. I stopped nursing the boy for biting but kept pumping. I have dropp”
“Just had my second baby via emergency section at 32 weeks. Baby is doing really well but will likely need another 4-5 weeks in hospital. My recovery has been slow and painful. My first was born early via emergency section as well but that time I was able to walk to see him in the NICU the evening the day he was born, I was discharged after 2 nights in hospital and had no complications. Baby came home with us after 10 days and it was tough but we managed. I’m now on night 4 in hospital and was on”
“My baby is 3 weeks and 1 day. He was born at 36+2 and came home 10 days later after a stay at nicu for poor feeding on his own. Since he came back, he had been an angel and seldom cried, only when changing diapers or pooping. However, starting 2 days ago, hes suddenly been crying and fussing non stop with gas pain. How are we supposed to handle this? i have help and im still losing my mind hearing him in pain. is this really normal submitted by /u/zz657 [link] [comments]”
“Baby girl and I had a rough start. I labored to 10cm, much of it unmedicated to avoid a c/s. Her heart rate dropped to 60 and didn’t come back up. Room was flooded with nurses. Doctor screamed from behind me “baby needs out NOW do we have consent to do what we need to do?” Of course I said yes. Run down the hall, separated from my husband, and baby girl was out in 8 min. Fortunately my epidural top up worked and I could be awake. Also fortunately my husband made it in time. I lost 1.6L of blood”
“36 weeks today and I am coming to terms with likely needing a scheduled c section at 39 weeks due to multiple complicating factors. Looking for validation, support, positivity, all the things to just feel better about the ups and downs of our first pregnancy that did not go according to any plan. We were so excited to get pregnant after a year of trying. Then 6 week ultrasound showed a 6cm subserosal fibroid. Told at our 10 week appt that I would be considered a high risk pregnancy as this is cl”
“This is aimed for people who knew something wasn't quite right but didn't have the information or support needed. I've read amazing stories and of course there are the horror ones and you truly cannot predict what is going to happen. All you can do is be prepared for whatever scenario arises. Im asking this because I read a story of a woman whose babye head got stuck against the pelvic bone but the constant pushing meant baby kept hurting her head. But she just thought okay were in t”
“Emergency C-Section as a Mythic Descent and Initiation submitted by /u/goldenalien333 [link] [comments]”
“I’m 10 days postpartum with my first baby, and I’m really struggling with everything that happened during his birth and afterward. I’m posting because I genuinely want to know if anyone has experienced something similar and how you eventually processed it. I went into labor and was admitted after my water broke. During labor, my baby started having recurrent late decelerations. They tried different things, but ultimately his heart rate wasn’t tolerating labor and I ended up having an emergency C”
“My son was born at 34 weeks and spent 2 weeks in the NICU. Before delivery, I was admitted for a week because my amniotic sac ruptured early. After birth, my husband and I were managing everything ourselves — going back and forth to the NICU, pumping 8–12 times a day, barely eating properly, and just trying to get through each day. What has been hardest is how much advice everyone gives without thinking about the mother’s mental state. People constantly comment on what I should eat, whether my m”
“I am 3.5 weeks postpartum and had a forceps delivery, with episiotomy, and third degree (3a) tear. Everyone keeps applauding me for having a ‘natural birth’ but I find nothing natural about the whole process. For some context, I have always wanted a vaginal birth, and was anti-induction due to it leading to cascade of interventions. I had scheduled a c-section for week 41 if labour didn’t start naturally. But nature had its own plans. My waters broke at 39 weeks and since risk of infection incre”
“Hi all! I had my baby about 3 weeks ago and everyone is healthy and recovering. I wanted to share my story as I had never heard of anyone going through what happened to me and would be very interested in hearing from people who did have similar experiences. At 38 weeks I woke up feeling very strange, almost like I was underwater. I felt physically off balance and couldn’t focus. still a couple weeks away from my due date i didn’t think it was time yet. I went to work (lol) then came home and pas”
“Hi New Parents, I hope this post is ok here as I am desperate for any glimmer of hope. I gave birth via c-section on 8/30. It was a planned pregnancy, however I did have some ambivalence in the first trimester. After my c-section I was bonding with my daughter and seemed to be doing ok. By about the third day I began to feel sick and not connected to my daughter. It felt like I couldn’t care for her because I couldn’t even care for myself. I was released from the hospital on the fourth day. When”
“I had PPROM and delivered my first baby quite early. I know it’s “not my fault” but I‘m still devastated my body couldn’t protect her and carry her to term. I also know there are long term effects of being born early—cognitive and otherwise. I’m reminded of this multiple times a day—can’t find premie diapers, all her clothes swallow her, apps reminding me of my “due date,” friends and family commenting on how tiny my baby is, constant pediatrician appointments. I feel like I failed at motherhood”
“Last week I gave birth via c section unexpectedly, so I’m learning a lot about recovery as I go. While I’m exhausted more easily than expected, I’ve found my physical recovery is going so much better than anticipated. In the hospital my OB said I should not put anything in my vagina (no sex, no tampons, no diva cup, etc) for six weeks. I understand why this is the case for a vaginal birth, as that area is still very much healing, but why is it true after a c section birth? Relatedly, even if I t”
“My husband and I are now parents to a 16 month old and a days old newborn. With our first son, he was born at 32 weeks, and spent a month in the NICU, so we never got to experience the first couple weeks at home with a newborn. Now with our second son, we have had one night at home and I feel woefully ill prepared. I know every baby is different but any suggestions about how to make this transition easier would be greatly appreciated. submitted by /u/spacequeen03 [link] [commen”
“Hi, I am a FTM. I had my baby via emergency c section last week at 32+4 weeks due to pre clampsia. It was a very traumatic birth. Baby is in NICU. I was only discharged yesterday. In the first two days my midwife helped me harvest colostrum. I managed about 0.7ml each time. On 3 day post op I tried pumping but nothing came out. I pumped twice that day. I then tried pumping again yesterday but nothing came out again. I think I still have colostrum? I thought I would have plenty of time to get to”
“I was diagnosed fairly early, around 17 weeks or so. I was never warned of the risk and didn't even know it existed. This is my 9th pregnancy after 5 losses. I had no idea that a d&c could increase these risks. I was also never given a heads up about how painful this would be. Every symptom i experience I keep thinking, "where's the girl with the list?" None of my previous pregnancies were enjoyable and I didn't miss being pregnant, but the discomfort and pain was toler”
“Background: I had a traumatic emergency c section in which I was put under GA and did not see my son born. He spent three days in the NICU for fluid in his lungs, received antibiotics for 48 hours. I began pumping colostrum as soon as I could before I even saw my baby in the hospital. On day 2 he latched and even by 4 he had surpassed his birth weight by EBF. Once we got home PPD hit me like a truck, and with a 20 month old I found EBF my newborn and my PPD so so hard. We started introducing bot”
“So i have twins that were born 7/6 at 31w6d, 41 days in the nicu, one week home, 4 days admitted to childrens hospital and now home again for just over a week. We are first time parents. To start off, my husband and I sleep different shifts so there is always someone to feed them and the other parent isnt getting crazy broken sleep. I sometimes nap on the sofa next to the pack and play i put them down in between feedings. Is it normal to feel guilty about not holding them? Like if I have to take”
“We took home our beautiful baby boy 4 weeks ago. Born at 28 weeks 5 days after a very sudden and unexpected birth. Vaginal delivery, 12 straight weeks at 2 different NICUs. 8 weeks at one an hour south of us. I don't know what to do. He has been cluster feeding for 2 weeks now. Constant reflux several dozen times a day. Before, during, and after feedings.Then we have to hold him upright for 30 minutes after each feed. By the time that's done he's hungry again 20 minutes later, with I”
“Okay so here is what I have been worried about... In March 2025 i had my first c section but after 5 days of surgery we lost our child... So i didn't experience motherhood with surgery and i didn't get time to physically heal or do anything that you are supposed to do. After surgery now I am 30 weeks pregnant and I am most likely gonna have a c section again.... And people around me have me worried about raising a kid after having a cesarean. So does anyone have any idea about what to ex”
“I had a tough pregnancy, started with a SCH and a 50% chance of miscarriage, then being out casted by my family because I won’t be able to attend my brothers wedding due to my due date conflicting and it being out of state. I feel like as soon as all the exterior calmed down I was so close to being due that I’m now just exhausted and miserable and ready to not be pregnant anymore. I feel so sad, this is my last baby and I don’t think I cherished being pregnant enough. I’ll never feel these kicks”
“I, 40F, am due to have my first baby in 3 weeks via scheduled C section. I chose this option due to a family history of difficult births, putting moms and babies at risk, not because I think it's easier or will have better recovery FWIW. I'll deal with the recovery part as I come to it, and am prepared for it being painful and challenging. I'm seeing my OB this week so I'll be asking about the procedure then, but I'd like to hear some first hand accounts of the surgical proce”
“I’m 5 months pp, I had a placental abruption while being induced for hypertension and lost a significant amount of blood and required multiple blood transfusions. I required an emergency c section under anesthesia and my son spent a month in NICU. Since about May, I’ve been progressively getting weaker and weaker. I got really sick in June month and was hospitalized with what turned out to be due to low potassium, the weakness and muscle fatigue was very intense. However, I never did gain my str”
“Hi all, I had an unplanned c-section a year ago. We’re not sure yet if we’re one and done or will want a sibling for our LO at some point. I had a traumatic birth and am dealing with PTSD and PPD. I’m nowhere ready to even be thinking about a sibling however, it makes me already overthink a 2nd birth. My birth team were very adament that I am a good candidate for a vaginal birth in case of a second baby. I found the recovery for a c-section very fast and positive for the first weeks, but then fo”
“About 4 months ago, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, my second child (7 year gap). He was a planned cesarean birth like my first due to maternal reasons. For a bit of background, my first birth was great. It all went to plan, and even though later on in the night my daughter went to NICU it was all very calm. I felt so supported and taken care of, I left hospital after 8 days and I couldn’t fault my recovery or experience. Fast forward to 7 years later. I had my son at a different hospital”
“I gave birth to a healthy baby boy on October and had a pretty traumatic childbirth. Husband and I had to go to the hospital early morning as I had lost my mucus plug. I know it can happen a lot throughout the whole pregnancy but given that it was the first time that happened to me and that I was 38+5, I was pretty anxious. When we got to the hospital, I was told that I was already 3cm dilated and had admitted us as they have also found that my baby has done a poo inside. My dilation was progres”
“I have a scheduled c section at 37+4 in about a month. I had the same with my daughter 4 years ago and had a difficult time with breastfeeding and pumping, and gave up probably before I should have. Anyone with a planned c section at this time have a positive BF experience? Any tips for establishing a supply would be appreciated. submitted by /u/1843892 [link] [comments]”
“I'm pregnant with our second baby currently, and having a rough time. This is my second high risk pregnancy - pre-eclampsia both times, and I'll be having a second c-section. Our official due date is mine and my husband's 5 year wedding anniversary (Nov 10). According to my husband he wanted to get me this to say thank you for giving him 2 baby girls, as well as all the sacrifices I make for our family 😭😭😭 alexandrite is my first daughters birthstone and one of my absolute favorit”
“Hello, My wife and I just had our newborn about 1 week ago and I just wanted to share his birth story and get some perspectives. My wife was in labor for about 30 hours and the babies heart rate started spiking, so we opted for a c-section. During the c-section the newborn didn't cry and when we asked about this they said he initially was lethargic and it took him a second to adjust to the outside world. He didn't begin crying till later in the day. During the c-section procedure when th”
“Hello, My wife and I just had our newborn about 1 week ago and I just wanted to share his birth story and get some perspectives. My wife was in labor for about 30 hours and the babies heart rate started spiking, so we opted for a c-section. During the c-section the newborn didn't cry and when we asked about this they said he initially was lethargic and it took him a second to adjust to the outside world. He didn't begin crying till later in the day. During the c-section procedure when th”
“hi all, FTM embarking on my 36 week now. it’s been a rocky journey having been diagnosed with early onset IUGR and gestational diabetes. i’m likely being induced/or having a c section late next week, and my anxiety has been through the roof of late. i’m anxious about how my baby will cope with the delivery, whether i’m making the right choices for her, and stressed that she will struggle after birth being so small. i’ve had some comments recently from (well meaning) friends/family expressing sho”
“I think I just had a very traumatic birth experience and it feels like I lost complete control over what can happen and I don't know how to move on. After a smooth pregnancy with 0 issues (not even vomiting), my water unexpectedly broke at 36 weeks + 1. I was then induced and got up to lvl 18 on Pitocin with horrible contractions and asked for an epidural. The epidural itself was extremely painful and didn't work, so I got my dose upped and completely lost all feeling down there. This ca”
“First baby ended up as a C-section as he was big, failed to progress, turned out to have cord twice around his neck and meconium in the waters and I was told he would have been a ‘difficult delivery’. I‘m 26 weeks and was confident I would go for an elective C-section with this one but I met up with a friend who just had a straightforward birth and now it’s got me thinking and I just don’t know. The dream would be an uncomplicated VBAC but obviously you just can’t predict how things will turn ou”
“Hi everyone, I’m writing this because I need to get some perspective and just vent a little. My partner gave birth to our baby boy in April 2026. He was born one month premature. She was on maternity leave until the beginning of August. She looked after the baby during the day, and I took over in the evenings when I got home from work. Now that she has gone back to work and daycare doesn’t start until September 1st, I took three weeks off work to look after our son. He’s now 4 and a half months”
“I had my 37 week appointment and scan yesterday. We were hoping for a natural birth, but baby hasn't turned and is sitting, she is bigger (measuring like 39 weeks instead of 37), so there is not much space for her to turn left, placenta is getting calcified and fluid is down to 6. 9. Doctor told me they will give her 1 more week (next Saturday) to get checked up, if fluid is 5 or less then we need to do C-section that smar day, if a bit above that then we can do it Sunday, Monday latest. In”
“Hello fellow Dad's. As I sit in the hospital I had some time to reflect on the 3 very different experiences we had. The first time we were here ,we had a TFMR at 19 week's. We did not get a chance to meet him or leave the hospital with him which crushed us both. The second time was after a round of IVF and we were so stressed from appointment to appointment we were not prepared to bring a healthy baby girl home and were absolutely broken. We were trying half heartedly last year while we”
“Hello all! It’s been a wild ride semi-traumatic birth at the start of May. No big specific details. It we had month plus NICU stay, so many doctor’s appointments and operations. Not what I thought my maternity leave would be filled with and now I broke my foot! I’ve been getting support from my in-laws while my husband returns to work. I’ve been living here a week and a half 💀 I can now walk a bit, get the baby up and grab food myself so I’m going home. Last full day at my in-laws! So excited t”
“TW: depression, ppd, suicidal thoughts/ideation I will start with saying this I am not medical professional and this is solely a recounting of my own experiences now that I am 18 months into parenthood with a 180 life change. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) and General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) in 2018 when I was 23. In 2019, I started taking Celexa (citalopram) since I started having panic attacks that affected my life. I was also diagnosed ADHD in 2019, but that has less bear”
“Ever since our first was born, things have been challenging. I had a C-section that led to a difficult recovery, PPD and PPA, pelvic floor issues, a colicky baby that wouldn’t sleep for more than a couple hours stretch until 10pm the old. Struggles with balancing work kids and life. Struggles with mental load. Then a diagnosis with a rare genetic disorder. Have I neglected my husband during these years? Yes, but I had almost nothing left to give at the end of the day. My pleas for spending time”
“My two beautiful amazing boys came into this world through c-section on Thursday morning at 36+0 and have been in the NICU since then. We’ve gotten hours each day of cuddling and kangaroo care and skin to skin, and my husband loves their smell, but I swear I smell nothing at all on them and it’s starting to worry me! Is there something wrong with me/will I never get to enjoy that amazing newborn smell I hear people talk about? Has anyone else experienced this? Did you start smelling your babies”