People Lonely, Can't Form Friendships

“Very interesting how you look at loneliness! As a leader, I always so it as a challenge and was looking to resolve it through joining mastermind groups etc. Thank you for hsaring!”

“Hi! The post might be a bit messy as I was writing my thoughts out as they came. What I mean is that, I feel like I might be thinking too much about myself. I don't have unconditional relationships, but such don't exist anyway, what I have is some of my family, a friend whom I'm trying to understand even though life throws obsticles our way that makes him hurt me (it's not his fault tho, just the situation that makes him hurt me) and collegues. I don't mean that I'm overl”

“She does listen to me and I don't think she's a bad person. She told me that conversations about politics and world events make her so anxious that she feels close to having a panic attack, so she avoids them, also that its not worth her mental health to read about it and stuff.. I understand protecting your mental health, but I still struggle with the idea of completely avoiding learning about issues that directly affect people you care about. That's where my frustration comes from,”

“I'm an introverted guy. Software developer. My social skills are perfectly adequate, I had plenty of friends in high school and university, I just… kinda let all but one of them drift apart. After university I was already living with my now-wife, and socializing with her and with a few couples friends was enough for me, you know? With my remaining free time, I preferred my solitary hobbies rather than hanging out with more friends. Now, being 35 with 5 y/o and 3 y/o kids, I both recognize ho”

Hi, how you holding up?

“I totally understand you. I feel the same, even though I'm in a relationship. I've completely lost hope that things will ever get better. :(”

“My wife 45f and I 46m have zero friends. I had a really close friend since childhood, but be died last October. She's never had a close friend. We don't even have family that comes over. I have an older son who is 19 that comes over every other weekend since he was little. My wife isn't bothered by this at all, but I feel like it's not healthy for our 7 year old son. He has a friend that lives a few miles away who comes over but not often. Today he was invited to that kids house”

“Between working full time and coming home to take care of my daughter, I feel like I've completely lost myself. Every day is work, mom mode, sleep, and then do it all over again. I love my daughter more than anything, but I miss having people to talk to and feeling like I'm more than just an employee and a mom. I realized recently that I haven't texted anyone I'd consider a friend in almost 2 years. Somewhere along the way life got so busy that I lost touch with everyone, and now”

“I’m feeling kind of bummed about one of my friendships, which has seemed to morph into us just deep talks and emotional support over dinner and drinks when it used to be a mix of activities, and travel with the occasional deep conversation. It started when my son was just born and then kind of became the status quo once Covid started since we weren’t able to go out to clubs or concerts, even though my son was finally sleeping through the night and I felt ready to get out again. I appreciated tha”

“After finishing highschool literally my whole friend group just unfollowed me collectively even though i said i was there for them. Like we even had plans on doing vcs and all that but idk what went wrong, its just annoying that they didn even say a thing, they just left like that. And im so tired and drained thinking about them, because ik they werent right for me anyway. I used to feel so left out with them yet they're the ones who ended up leaving me first after highschool”

“Taking a short break, visiting family. But its 1am, and I am alone and crying. So, not good”

I sure hope so. Life has been hella overwhelming lately and Idk why.

“I made alot friends from 2018 until now because I felt fulfilled. I've always been the one comforting people, I'm not saying "I was there for everybody but no one was there for me". I mean that I never allowed anyone to be there for me because I always kept my sadness to myself. I don't like venting and crying I genuinely feel disgusting and weird for doing that. But when other people do that I'm like "omg it's okay you can vent/ cry ur eyes out". I don&#3”

“I (16F) used to be so nice towards everyone, it felt like a burden sometimes but I tried my best. I was so resilient and religious. I suppose I let people talk bad at me because I was (and still am) too scared to stand up for myself. Now I just feel nothing towards people. I can joke and laugh but I don’t feel anything deep inside. My head is a mess, just a bunch of scattered thoughts just for me to feel numb or sometimes aggressive towards my family. I have such horrid brain fog, I don’t have a”

“Everyone, including my own family, reinforces that I’m essentially “not allowed” to date or experience love, that I’ll end up the weird rich uncle. To them it’s a joke but to me it feels I am missing out on a fundamental part of the human experience. The fact that no woman will ever love or find me attractive is a depressing and debilitating thought. Everyone around me, including younger relatives and acquaintances, have completely surpassed me in this respect yet treat it like nothing. The fact”

“It do be like that sometimes. But seriously your way of going about it is not ideal and might result in your kidneys being stolen or something. From my experience friendship isn't something that you can force. It just happens. You probably won't find lifelong friends on reddit. I've had a similar problem trying to desperately find friends but all that got me was shame and pain. I realized that I'd reached a point where not even I would want to be my friend. Then I found out I can”

“The question is...how do I fix it”

“I'm not sure, I recently read a lot about anxious attachment so some traits are matching ig”

I think this is symptoms of anxious attachment

“Some people get a lot of benefits from helping and support others, you might think it’s a burden, but (some) people feel genuinely happy and great for being there for others.”

“I'm just a guy trying to exist and every woman I talk to is so COLD and unfrendly. My friend says oh they're probably just having a bad day. Every day is a bad day apparently. That's not an excuze. I'm out here smiling at people and nobody smiles bak. I smiled at a woman at the grocery store last week and she just looked away. Unbelievible I held the door open for a woman last Tuesday. She walked through without even LOOKING at me. I did a nice thing. I did a REALLY nice thng. I”

“Posting this just to see if anyone understands, I like rambling anyways. I have never been able to see others as human and it's seriously affecting my life. I cannot make friends because in order to be seen as a human in my life you have to occupy part of my mind, they never get the shot. I'm either terrified of other people or see them so far beneath me I can't fathom speaking to them. I KNOW how that sounds Ok ^,^ don't flame me. It's just that there's people I bet woul”

“Hey I’m 18m, I’ve been really struggling. I’ve only recently started wanting to talk to people again after 2 years of isolation. Tonight I’ve been messaging people on reddit (ik it’s not the best place to find people to talk to) but nothing seems to stick. The conversation gets stale really fast no matter how much I try to keep it alive. It’s Been really hard and I feel like I’m unable to find connection. I don’t really know what I expect out of this post. Possibly advice. Thank you for reading.”

“you can vent to me if you’d like!! you can tell me if you want advice or just an honest opinion!”

“Your problem isn't a money problem, you're gonna have to figure out where you feel better in the world and where you can find your tribe. It's not easy - thinking of who my closest friends are: one group is people that are from my home country so we have lots in common from shared experiences during our childhood, a language, a culture, food, etc. Another group is from one of my hobby (a team sport). You could definitely meet with plenty of other foreigners and create a group of frie”

“Today when i was walking home i saw my crush... but she was walking with the guy i hate(let's call him trevor). I've always had these antisocial desires toward him. And now my psychopathy is getting filled more and more. I can't even tell here what my brain tells me to do. I can't help it. I mean... that girl was my crush of 9 month. She even gave me signals Idk if there is a way to stop it without a doctor submitted by /u/Danileansow [link] [comments]”

“Guys is there something wrong with me? I have been lately isolating myself and. My mood swings get worse genuinely I am the most talkative and cold person you ever know. I have different personalities to different people I know sometimes I do wish I could just stay the same. But I don't even know who I am and I get these feelings after school I feel drained and tired. Lately and have been getting mad at small things and yes I admit I'm lazy also and ALWAYS on my phone. But I came from a”

https://discord.gg/6YNeDgtV8K submitted by /u/sufinomo [link] [comments]

“I relate to you I really do. I’ve been isolated from the world for the past 8 years now. Haven’t been able to go out to events or do anything really. I been stuck inside of this cocoon I put myself in really. And what makes it worse is I put myself in that. What’s funny is you wouldn’t really expect this from me if you saw me in real life. I just wish I could stop feeling this way. I’m doing a bit better now but the past still lingers in my head. What’s makes me tear up at night would be the mem”

“You can have friends & still feel incredibly lonely, especially if they don’t actually show you support or are there for you when you need it.”

“Sharing your life with someone else isn’t always the solution though. Why do you feel like that’s what you need to feel better?”

“I always feel lonely. Then again that’s what happens when you have no family, no support & you can’t count on your so called friends. I’m older than the original poster. So I can understand how they feel to an extent. Since they are male, obviously I can’t completely understand being a female. I do know that things are a lot easier for men than they are for women. Just like it’s much easier for males to make friends than it is for females as well.”

Make some friends. I’ll be your friend

“I can only imagine. I am sending friendship and love to ya 💕 ✌️ sorry I am not there IRL but, I hope you feel it! 🤗”

“She goes to therapy. She takes medication. She has a loving, kind home. We do the "right" things. But MAN OH MANNNNNN... She has no friends, or at least none that she hangs out with. She went to sleepaway camp and it was the most relaxed I've been in ages because I didn't have to worry about her rotting on the couch for 8 hours at a time, or having to repeat myself, or having to set yet another boundary, or breaking up another fight where she tries to control her sister, or rem”

“I know this topic gets posted alot, but just having a tough go today. I feel so alone in life. I'm no longer closer to my friends and my wife and I have grown a part. TBH, i would feel better if we separated-- we havent really been close in almost 2-3 years and live like coworkers. She's a great person, but just not mine. I just cant seem to develop any close relationships with anyone an the ones i do just let me down. I feel like i'm just too much or demanding. It probably stems fro”

“You’re not doomed to be stuck alone even if it feels like it. Your friends are still figuring themselves out the same way you are. You’ve got time to find your people and grow into yourself.”

“Happy b'day mate. I don't want to sound depressing but tbh it's a life lesson that you're learning on your bday. Your circles radius keeps reducing as you age even though you've met more ppl. You absolutely dont have to do that. It's normal, accept it, expect less. Celebrate if you want to alone or with someone you like irrespective of whether they greet you. Everyone's a human lately, they may forget or they may knowingly do so for so many reasons like anger or perso”

“I’ve maintained a few of my friendships since the worst of my issues started but for the most part I’ve just closed myself in. I need to be able to go to the bathroom at any given moment, I’m not going to wear diapers and I’m certainly not going to do so in front of others. I’m too prideful. I haven’t been outside my home in over 2 years, with the exception of hospitals/doctors. Even then, it’s less than 25x outdoors. Sitting up in my wheelchair leaves me in such ungodly pain. Trying to get anyt”

“I’d love to know too. It’s hard to be so lonely sometimes”

“I understand how you feel.But let me tell you something, there are still people out there willing to help, I hope you find them.Sending hugs and love.”

“Appreciate this man, just wondering, how did you get out of it? If you don’t mind me asking. Thanks for the advice though.”

“Incredibly long story short. Over the last ten years I fell in love with my best friend. There was a lot of back and forth, but in the end they do not feel the same way about me. We’re drifting apart now (they don’t need me like they used to) and I’m losing my best friend AND the person I’ve been in love with for ten years. I cannot stop crying and it’s been six months. I don’t know how to keep going feeling the enormous weight on me. I lost my job. I lost my friends. I’ve lost everything and I”

“I somehow keep fucking up everything speaking, I regret almost everything I say and I can’t even applogise for it. I dont know why I keep doing it. For example I respond with some sarcastic comment but I immediately regret it afted, idk maybe I’m just really bad at talking, and then I think about how mean I sound like who tf?? I feel like ive become someone I dont like, I mean i lowk sound like a bitch i think i should work on dat😭😭✌️ submitted by /u/General_Move_6671 [link]”

“Currently and for the past week, i’ve been feeling this way, lonely. I feel as if no one is here for me. I've been involved in way too much drama with friends. Whether I've caused it or just ended up caught in it, I know I need to take responsibility for my part, and that's something I really want to work on. The hardest part is that whenever people see me in a bad light or think badly of me, I take it so personally to the point that my mind jumps straight to believing I'm a terr”

“For me options from other people are kinda important and I don't know why and I can't stop it. Im at the point where is hinders me from doing certain things like trying out new hobbies or hairstyles because it could be that other people around me find it weird or don't like it. How can I achieve the mental state of "not giving a shit about what other people think if i have fun with what im doing". Or what helped you getting to the point where the value of others opinions ar”

“I’ve been pretty chronically overwhelmed the last 5-6 years dealing with my health issues that have left me disabled. I have trouble maintaining connections through that and have lost friends. I’ve said as much to folks but I still struggle. I am fortunate that I still have some people who are there and understand, but how do you manage staying connected? I’m in therapy too, just looking for info from folks who get it. Thanks. submitted by /u/RosieRunnin [link] [comments]”

“For the deep parts that are hurt. I dont believe anyone can help. I believe only a partner with actual love and care can touch those parts. But I dont believe people dont care. Its just everyone is hurt and you cant help or save everyone. It would drain you of everything. Its energy, love is energy, love is a medicine 💊 that heal the soul if its pure and true. But thats rare I think sadly. I know that was off topic but the idea is everyone need something and everyone feels they are alone in it.”

“It’s love, just in our 20s I felt loneliness before. All my teenage years, I dreamt of having a person by my side whom I will love and who will take my love as it is. I was the most emotionally unstable person. However, I kept going or better said crawling, day by day, to school, to college and now to work. When I turned 20, I was so confident that I understood life, there was no need for any objective basis. I was wrong, cause who are we at 20 years old. Just kids who think life is in high scho”

“I really don’t know what to do anymore. My very close friend is REALLY going through it and I just want to help. I met him about 3-4 months ago and we clicked really fast and we hang out almost everyday. Not long after I met him, I found out that he had a date set, to yk what. At first it seemed like a joke because him and our other friend talked about it so casually but the date is now one month away and it feels really serious. Me and him have had deep talks, last night in particular he opened”

Saying you're not alone makes me feel even more alone

“I was thinking about volunteering for things I care about, maybe I will find my people there”

“You need to develop a routine that is about YOU. I’m fully remote too, but I don’t suffer from loneliness. I exercise in the mornings, Walk the dogs & do chores before/after work. Take relaxing naps at lunchtime sometimes! You can’t depend on others to add value to your existence. You alone are responsible for your mental health.”

“Does anyone else feel dread whenever they have anyone read their personal statement? I felt it before, but I think now, my feeling has compounded. I had a pretty safe personal statement a few months ago that was about a significant struggle in my life, but it was alright yk? Like okay to share even if it's a little embarrassing. My college counselor (private firm, not school one) read it and called it "strong but vanilla." So yeah, it was too basic, so I had to rewrite the whole th”

“Title. I feel so dumb about it because we’re both in long term relationships although both long distance. To be clear i do NOT want to fuck up my relationship or his, i’m actively trying to get over it but it’s very hard to when i see him everyday and he’s still his sweet kind self. I also know it’s one sided because he’s nice and friendly to everyone not just me. help how do i get over this it’s literally been only 2 weeks!! submitted by /u/dontufuckingdare [link] [comments]”

“Why am I not active? Let me put it this way: as much as I try to appear like a repulsive character who doesn't believe in love or friendship, I truly see each of you as a friend, an acquaintance. Now, let me tell you a story I love to share in friendly circles: "One day, a warship appeared on the horizon. As this ship drew closer, it first turned into a fishing boat, then an empty skiff, and finally, a simple piece of driftwood washed ashore." I take breaks so I don't grow tire”

“You are not alone. I feel the same way too. I've (47M) been divorced for 13 years and not been in a relationship. I've been working on myself and appreciating my worth, but with the world in a crazy place right now, hope feels a far reach on every path of happiness. I am just taking each day as it comes and staying grounded to earth. I miss the perks of being in a meaningful relationship, especially the human connection, the hugs and affection that is reciprocated etc. 13 years of sheer”

“Because I could literally die. That's it! If your friends don't check up on you during a major physical hurdle that could kill you or disable you, are they even your friends truly? It's not just about having a baby or becoming a mother. Which by themselves are major life events too. It's not about the baby showers. It's that I could die and some people won't even show they care how it goes down for me. --Realizations after a friend reached out to me 4 months postpartum &#”

Hi friend