Moms Fear Losing Support After Birth

“Not sure if this is the right flair, as I am very open to advice. But I've reached a hard time and would be grateful for support I gave birth on 10/02. Baby needed CPAP but otherwise a healthy, non-prolonged induction. However, baby's blood sugar numbers got dangerously low, and the nurses at the hospital had be immediately supplement with formula and glucose gel. It's now been two weeks, and my milk has not meaningfully come in. My baby started cluster feeding on day 2. We had a ter”

“I wish I was exaggerating, but I'm really not. It's just me (32) and my husband (38). Both of my parents have passed away and I've estranged myself from all my extended family (due to very valid reasons) with the exception of my aunt & cousin who live 800 miles away. My husband's mother married a convicted child-rapist (and hid/lied about it) so we've estranged ourselves from his entire family since then. We moved 600 miles away from home 5 years ago and have lost pretty”

“I’m looking for some sort of support group or platform for pregnant women. I live in southwest Florida and can’t seem to find anything local. So I’m down for something online where I can be real / vulnerable through this experience without being judged or told not to feel that way, like everyone in my circle is telling me. (If Reddit is the best platform for this - LMK). Maybe even some sort of non judgmental guidance through the process too, like an app that supports you through the ebbs and fl”

“I am 4 weeks PP, just saw my in-laws yesterday and my MIL was very very adamant about wanting to come over and help. She has made remarks before like “tell me what you want me to make you for food” and I would respond “really anything at all, any food you make is great and appreciated!” And she would respond with “tell me what to make when you want it” and I feel weird being like “hey MIL, can you make us xyz?” I have always HATED asking people for help. It’s different with my mom because she wi”

“My sister gave bith very recently, she is healthy, her baby is healthy, but it's not easy on her. Our mom is there to help and I have been with them on the weekend to help out doing "night shifts" and next week I'll be going again. I was thinking, apart from taking care of the baby, bringing the baby for feeding so she doesn't have to get up, burping the baby and rocking them to sleep, maybe I could do something to keep my sister's spirits up. So, my question is: what t”

“Hi everyone, really hoping for some practical advice here. We’re expecting our baby soon. My mother feels like normal boundaries just don’t apply to her, she favors boys and we are having a son. She keeps saying “im grandma and he’s my boy” when we try to explain why we are doing things a certain way. When we say "this is what works for us," we get guilt trips, "I’m the grandma, I know best, you turned out just fine," and hurt feelings. It’s stressful enough that I’m already”

“Is anyonle else experiencing this? I feel like no one gives a shit about me anymore. My parents come very often to see the baby and my mom helps cause my husband is gone all day but it's literally always just about the baby. I'm being interrupted while I'm taking so that they speak to the baby, I've been ignored while trying to speak. I called my mom once and she was in a hurry, she asked if the baby was okay she cut me off and said "if the baby is fine i don't have time”

“Hi guys, I’m really struggling at the moment and wondering if anyone can relate or has any advice. I’m a mum of 6, and my last baby is 13 days old. I’ve said we were done before but always sort of known we might have more (we both wanted a big family) but I’m now 33, my oldest is 10 years old and I had complications after this last baby that mean its not recommended that I have any more. We already were very sure this would be our last baby, but after what happened after her birth my husband got”

“I just need to rant and see if anyone has had the same experience. Since I got pregnant, my mom has become extremely overbearing. She texts me multiple times a day asking me how i’m feeling, if i don’t respond for half a day she freaks out/calls me/ blows up my phone, she constantly asks to hang out. I know you’re probably thinking that she just cares for me, is worried/excited, etc but this isn’t new. my mom has always been an overly affectionate, clingy, codependent mother who relies on others”

“Hi im 17wks pregnant today and have never felt more isolated. None of my friends have had babies or they had a great pregnancy. I’m struggling and I don’t know who to talk to. Seeking advice of people I can reach out to or where I should go in Chicago. submitted by /u/gurlinthewurl [link] [comments]”

“Hi there. I'm having a really hard time grieving the experience thought I'd have post partum. My baby was born two weeks ago and off the bat he had a hard time latching. We got home the first night from the hospital and he hadn't consistently eaten since birth, I made the decision to start him on the formula the hospital sent us home with in case. I was scared and didn't know what was normal and there was so much conflicting info from the nurses. the hospital was supposed to prov”

“Hi all! 2.5 weeks post my c-section (second baby but first was vaginal). I see so many ads for belly bands and I’m wondering if they actually help healing or just provide support and comfort while wearing them? I had a 2cm gap immediately post birth and the typical apron. No back pain and I don’t feel like I need something holding me in, if that makes sense. But I’ll get one if it’s going to promote long term healing. submitted by /u/nickyoddball [link] [comments]”

“I wonder if it happened to anyone else? I thought I had a good relationship with my Mom growing up, but in adulthood she started having some criticisisms and red flags. After I had my first baby, this all intensified and she did/said some outright cruel things: - randomly said „I’d love to raise you so you’re not a problem to your mom” to my 7 month baby (not a clueless newborn! And I did not complain about motherhood and she does not help with the baby at all except for some pick a boo when she”

“38 weeks exactly. I love my parents so much but I am constantly caught with them offering us help for the baby that they can’t physically provide. My mom is physically disabled with a bad knee. She cannot kneel, squat, get on the ground in any way, stand of a step ladder, even sit in too low of a chair, can’t hold things while going up and down stairs, etc. instead of being realistic about this she constantly gives me long lists of things she’ll come over and do when I obviously know she is not”

“I’m not sure where to post this but I’m close to giving birth (almost 36 weeks). I was at risk of early birth to due a past pregnancy but so far so good. So we had my mom come here a couple weeks ago and stay to watch our child once I give birth. At our house tbf we don’t watch much tv or screen time so yes it’s boring. Plus we’ve also ALL been sick this whole time and she’s been stuck on the couch sick af. We do have a troubled past in our relationship but we try to keep things respectful as po”

“32 weeks. My mom offered to call the extended family after we tell her the baby is here, so we wouldn't have to deal with a bunch of messages. A genuinely helpful offer. Then she mentioned calling my brother too, and I realized I'd prefered to tell him myself. Same with two close friends. I can picture sending them a photo and seeing what they say, and I don't really want to skip that part. My husband has a few people he's excited to tell as well. We're both fine with our par”

“I’m getting close to my due date for my third baby and I’m getting nervous lol Just wondering how it went for you? Was your labor longer /shorter? Did you have your baby sooner or later than previous babies? Just curious submitted by /u/Legal-Mistake6415 [link] [comments]”

“hi fellow parents !! I’m 21 and almost 10 weeks pregnant, this was a planned pregnancy and I just wanted to share my feelings. I see a LOT of negative on social media like traumatic birth stories, horror stories of colicky babies that never sleep, partners who don’t do anything. I guess it’s scared me very deeply. I found out at 3.5 weeks, and my initial reaction was very excited, which then turned into fear, which then turned into suffering as I got diagnosed with hypremesis gravidarum and pren”

“This is my first post here, I'm a longtime lurker though. I just nursed my son to sleep for the very last time and I'm so broken up about it. I had him at 15 and I struggled with nursing him so much at first and reading other's posts here helped a lot. I've been thinking about all the things I've done with him while nursing and I'm just so proud of myself, as well. I graduated high school two years early and had to take a break from the ceremony to nurse him in the bathro”

“I gave birth via cesarean one week ago, and babe was in the NICU on oxygen/CPAP for a few days. It was a fairly scary birth, but I’m just happy we both are healthy and doing well now. My SIL who lives out of town, is flying in to have her baby shower when my baby will be 3 weeks old. There will be a lot of my husband’s extended family coming, many of whom haven’t met the baby yet. I am having so much anxiety about going. It’s early October, and cold and flu are already going around. There could”

“Hi ladies, I am hoping to find some solace right now, I’m pregnant with my first child and the anxiety is only worsening as I get closer to birth. I’m terrified of my body changing, my brain changing and just my life overall. I know the body thing may sound vain, but it took me such a long time to really learn to appreciate my body and now I’m like, what the fuck. How do I brace myself for impact?! I’m also scared of pp depression/psychosis. I’ve read/seen some pretty gnarly stories and I want t”

My babies are fine, thank you =]

“I'm about 3 days post C section, still at the hospital. Had a baby boy and so far I haven't had any maternal attachment. I definitely feel a sense of obligation to this baby like making sure he is fed, clothed, comfortable, gaining weight and happy but I haven't felt any "love" towards him so far. Honestly, it feels almost the same as when I held my niece when she was born and not anything deeper, like it could be anyone else's baby and I'm just here taking care of”

“little background . I am 36, I’ve been with my better half for 14 years and we have 3 children together . my youngest is 1.5 and i just found out I am pregnant again . i am shocked overall but happy I believe all children are a blessing . I have a very very negative mother , i could tell her the best news in the world and she will find a way to bring me down and complain about it . my whole adult life being pregnant with all 3 children I was scared to tell my own mother because she’s so negative”

“Hello! For background/context i’m a female in my early 20s and mean no negativity or judgement from this post. I unfortunately have grown up without my mom since I was about 15 and we didn’t really have a good relationship to start with anyways so I feel like I’ve missed out on a lot motherly guidance & education in my life especially now that i’m desperately TTC. My mother never breastfed so I feel kind of clueless except from what I read/see online. I want to breastfeed when I have childre”

“I dont have much support in life and just want to put this somewhere. My breastfeeding journey has not been what I imagined when pregnant. I thought I would just breastfeed my baby exclusively from the source and that was that. Things were ok at first l, but then LO developed fussiness at the breast, then breast refusal, then full on aversion. We had her a tongue and lip tie released at 16 weeks and things seemed promising at first. She would breastfeed pretty okay after the release but still to”

“TW: Birth Trauma Hey everyone! I'm wondering if I could get some reassuring info/experiences from people with a variety of birth experiences. For context, I have really really severe health anxiety surrounding medications, things going wrong, etc. When I became pregnant, I knew from the start I wanted a c-section to have something planned and be in a more calm environment (even though the c-section meds and idea of being numb from the waist down/being cut open really freak me out). I think I”

“TW: mentions of suicide Im a mom to a 5 month old boy and it’s been hitting me a little harder lately that I don’t have my mom anymore. I lost my mom to suicide in 2018 when I was 14 and though I’ve gotten through the harder parts of grief it’s hitting a little different now that I’m a mom. I feel like I don’t know her anymore. I’ve changed so much since then and she only knew me as a kid so it feels so weird to think about her, she’s never seen me as an adult. I feel like I never did know her,”

“Hello everyone! I'm currently half way through my pregnancy and wanted to ask a question regarding support. Me, my husband and his friend moved into a new city, I was not in 100 percent agreement but moved because I love my husband. I was able to get my husband a job at night (30 hours max) and his friend is unemployed. I moved back later and was able to get a night job in 2 days but the environment was awful and my body was hurting, Regardless we moved and we can't afford rent, bills an”

“I thought I could manage. LO is almost 11mo now, and thriving. Love her so much. But I feel like the identity shift - my sense of self - moving through this time of matrescence, is finally catching up. I need time to feel like ME again, and I am holding on, white knuckled, to so much of what made up me before being a mom, and I feel like it's just slipping away. I don't want it to. But I don't want to feel like I am failing as a mother because I am not taking care of myself. It feels”

“Hello, As if I wasn’t struggling enough already, I just found out that I’m pregnant, and I honestly feel completely overwhelmed and heartbroken. I’ve posted here a few times before, but the short version is that my husband and I went through pregnancy loss, fertility treatments, and a very difficult journey to have our children. Somewhere along the way, my mental health completely fell apart. I never struggled with my mental health before any of this, and I’ve been fighting so hard to feel like”

“I’m not sure where to post this but I’m almost 34 weeks and my mom kindly came to fly and stay at our house till I give birth which we are so so grateful for. It’s awesome! But the only thing is the smell. It’s a crotch smell and reeks the whole house where ever she goes and the smell just… stays. I don’t believe she thinks she needs to take showers every day (my husband and I do). I can smell when I start to get nasty down there which is frequently due to constant discharge and sweat (tmi) but”

“Please be kind to me, I’m very fragile right now and don’t know where else to turn. I think I’m suffering from depleted mother syndrome. My baby is 10.5 months old. I’ve never felt so tense in my life. Every muscle in my body and face is insanely tight. My head is pounding. The sleep deficit has caught up with me. I also feel like I’m not doing enough. I have a partner who helps me put baby to bed and helps on weekends, which is more than a lot of moms. So I feel like I’m undeserving of having a”

“For context, I'm 39 weeks with my second baby... My first was a 42 week induction and I never went into labor naturally. I'm starting to feel really anxious about the same situation potentially repeating again. My mom texts me right at 38weeks "any labor signs yet?! Maybe you'll be early like I was!" - she had me right around my due date and my younger sister at 38 weeks. Ughhh, it just feels so insensitive of her to say that knowing what my last experience was, but sensiti”

“First time mom. Yall please tell me the anxiety lessens after a while. I know i will worry about my baby for the rest of my life but i am so worried she’s sick, leaving her alone, growing up, she has a disorder, etc. if you can think of it i stress about it. Her eye was jumping today and i got scared something was wrong with that. Literally everything. Hoping it gets better with time 😫 submitted by /u/Old-Kitchen-5377 [link] [comments]”

“My baby is almost 4 weeks old. I don’t have any family nearby besides my brother who is about 2 hours away. My mom passed, my dad is not in the picture. He is basically a parental figure to me. He is very family oriented and loves us a lot which we are very lucky for. I’m having trouble dealing with their visits. I had a 26 hour labor and literally hours after being moved to the postpartum unit, my brother insisted on visiting. I wish we didn’t take visitors that day but he was too excited. Sinc”

“I’m 8 days postpartum so I understand I’m still experiencing the hormone crash, but several family members have said things to me over the last few days that have pushed me over the edge, including: - “No more pics?” - meanwhile I sent a photo on Thursday. It’s Saturday. - “Time for another one!” - I haven’t responded to this yet but I’m half tempted to write back, “My stitches aren’t even healed yet.” It’s literally day 8. - “There’s nothing like breast milk” - from my MIL, who is very ‘breast”

“my mom is staying with us for postpartum care and I am super grateful because she’s really helping with the baby and food and taking care of my diet as well. however she keeps passing comments on my breastfeeding, she has time and again said ”the kid is not satisfied with your breast milk”, “dont know what you feed him he’s always hungry“, ”sit and eat warm food so it goes to the kid”. last week the baby had a little gas and she blamed me for eating wrong and saying because you ate that specific”

“Hey everyone! We are thrilled to be home with our 1 week old newborn daughter. She’s our first born and I’m hopelessly in love. I’m already so fulfilled with fatherhood. But momma is struggling. My wife is so incredible, she recovered shockingly fast from a near preeclampsia emergency during labor. She’s up and moving, breastfeeding as best she can, is so loving and nurturing and honestly batting 1000 with this new mother thing. The problem comes when our daughter being fussy and hard to settle.”

“Am I the only one that didn’t want anyone to know I was in labor? I live far away from people and I didn’t want anyone to worry about me. But now as I’m reflecting by it would have been nice to talk to people especially because I was in labor for 29 hours and ended up needing an emergency c-section. submitted by /u/This_Obligation_5125 [link] [comments]”

“My child is 2.5 now. When he was an infant my mom was still the same mom I always knew. But as he’s gotten older and more interactive I truly feel like my mom is just aloof toward me now. Pre-baby if I went to my mom about something that was bothering me she would always talk me off the ledge and ease my mind (I am a worrier and have a bit of health anxiety). I notice when I go to her now she just brushes me off and makes me feel like I’m being annoying. She totally dotes over my kid. It’s like”

“My parents have been here twice this week and it feels like no one hears bub crying except me. They come with the intention of seeing the grandkids and to offer some help, but not sure if I'm expecting too much or overly sensitive... One visit was just me and bub home and the other our toddler was home too. They did bring lunch and stack the dishwasher so that was good. But on both occasions there was a point at which I was trying to get something done, bub was crying and neither of them eve”

“Not exactly a baby question but more question for those mums that have had loss just before their baby. Since it’s happened to me I know it’s quite common for Mums ❤️ to lose one of their parents before finding out they’re pregnant or having a child. For me, I lost my dad a week before I found out I was pregnant with my first son. Does anyone have any lovely traditions to help their children be involved in their grandfather or mothers memories. Now he’s born I’ve been thinking of what sort of tr”

“My SIL is expecting her first baby in October. She moved here (USA) from Colombia to be with my brother a few months ago. She has made some friends, but her primary support system will be my mom, my brother, my husband, and me. My brother told me she wants me to come over to help as much as I’m willing to once baby is born. She even asked if I could show her how to change a diaper, how to bathe the baby, and how to nurse, so she’s definitely planning to lean on me (they also took classes on birt”

“2 weeks postpartum and I am questioning my ability to be a mom. We live out of state with no family and truly no friends, so my mom came to help for a little but already left. I would’ve loved her to stay longer. She helped with things around the house and took the baby during the day so I could nap. Now that she’s gone, it’s just my husband and I with the baby. I take the entire night shift since I am breastfeeding and haven’t introduced pumping/bottles yet. Our baby wakes up pretty much every”

“My mother died really unexpectedly at the beginning of September. I have so much going on in addition to this: upgrading to my BsN, gastric bypass sept 22, 2 kids (9 and 8), house bills and everyday crap everyone else has. I was supposed to start a new emergency room position Sept 8. I ended up going in for a few shifts. It was hard. I just don’t know if my head is where I need it to be starting this new position. Not sure what to do? Any advice at all would help. submitted by /u/Bes”

“My baby is about to turn 2 years old soonish. I can't help it but just as I did last year, this year I become more vulnerable, emotional and remember how awful it all was. Can you relate? If so, did it stop after a few years? submitted by /u/fiddeldeedee [link] [comments]”

“Hi parents, I'm struggling. I had a rough birth that ended up in an induction + emergency C-section and my baby didn't sleep through the night for 1 year straight and still has pretty interrupted sleep. I've had my fair share of PP. I'm 15kgs over my pre pregnancy weight. Everyone keeps telling me I'm eventually going to lose it. My blood work came out normal, but I am exhausted all the time, dizzy a few times in the week. I've worked out, in bursts of 2 weeks before some”

“I can’t believe I’m typing this out and I’m not even sure how to start this but just wanted to see if any fellow expecting moms ever dealt with this. My dad unfortunately passed away from cancer 3 weeks ago and it’s been an up and down hill battle. I’m currently expecting my first baby with my husband, and I’m now 34 weeks pregnant. My pregnancy journey has not been an easy one in terms of having HG, being anemic, and was diagnosed later in my pregnancy with gestational diabetes. Trying to balan”

“Next week I am going to visit a first time mom and her new baby, she had a very rough end of pregnancy and birth experience so I want to bring something to make her feel seen and appreciated. I asked her if there’s anything she needs and she said more NB clothes. I can’t spend much more (I got some baby outfits, 3 for $20 pretty good deal) which makes it difficult because I want to help in every way I can, but we are on a tight budget ourselves right now.. I’m looking for cost effective things I”

“My mom has been staying over to help with the baby for past few months and she’s returning tomorrow. I can’t help but feeling so sad and anxious too. The house will feel so empty without her. Just want to rant :(( submitted by /u/OutrageousTrain2477 [link] [comments]”

“My mom has been staying over to help with the baby for past few months and she’s returning tomorrow. I can’t help but feeling so sad and anxious too. The house will feel so empty without her. Just want to rant :(( submitted by /u/OutrageousTrain2477 [link] [comments]”

“I feel like I have no support. My sister keeps telling me that I have the normal amount of support it’s just not what I want. My parents don’t come over. Don’t watch my kid unless I drive two hours there. Husbands family is out of state. My friends don’t come over. My family doesn’t come over. My husband’s family never comes over. Nobody’s ever come to help us clean or anything. And it’s not that I expect that but that’s what I thought support was. Am I wrong? My sister just keeps saying that ev”

“Did it hit anyone a certain way when their baby had been out of the womb the same amount of time they were in it? My baby was born at 40w2d. Today she is 38 weeks (almost 9 months). I don't know why, but it almost feels like a milestone for us as parents. Like, she made it that long inside my tummy, now she's almost made it that long outside my tummy. Am I completely crazy or has anyone else felt this? submitted by /u/shinedown_92 [link] [comments]”

“I know it's normal to feel anxious and scared as the due date comes up but I've struggled with debilitating anxiety and panic attacks in the past. I'm terrified of giving birth soon and honestly hearing "it will all be worth it when he's in your arms" or "you'll forget the pain once he's out" doesn't make me feel better. Of course I know it will be worth it but that doesn't take away from the fear of being in the hospital, the pain and being un”

“As the title suggests, I (37F) am struggling with bonding with my emotionally immature mom (61F) during my first pregnancy. I’ve seen many posts with similar titles and am hoping for some advice. Ever since I was younger, my mom has always treated me as a 'tiny therapist'. I was subjected to hearing her talk, cry, etc., about how unhappy she was with work, how unhappy she was with her marriage to my dad, and how much she wished she could "just drive away." I have clear memories”

“My mother is a freaking saint. She came to live with me and my husband from 39 weeks till I was 6 weeks PP since I’m a FTM. She left this past Saturday. I’ve been incredibly sad ever since and crying non stop. For context, I have been clinically diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety since I was a teen so I knew that PPD/PPA was highly probable for me. The PPA came immediately after birth and I’ve been on Zoloft for a few weeks now. My husband and mom were on high alert for symptoms of PPD”

“As I write this im currently holding my 5 week old baby. Shes the most beautiful adorable baby and very vocal but im extremely stressed. I 22f have a bf 23m who's my baby's father. However he has bipolar and he scared me bad an hour ago. Hes currently asleep but what he did is making me want to break up with him and forbid him from seeing her. I dont even want child support from him...my bf was exhausted and frustrated and I had her safely in her pack n play and was grabbing formula. Min”

“First time mum to twin girls and 4months pp. Lately all I’ve been feeling is grief. I so desperately want to be my old self again, I miss her so much! Yes, I know postpartum is considered up until a whole year after birth, and I still have a way to go, but Im having a hard time imagining what I’ll be like at the end of all this. How long did it take you to feel like yourself again? submitted by /u/redpoppy0424 [link] [comments]”