New parents struggle to balance newborn care and toddler needs

“I have an almost 3 yrs old toddler (F) and a 6-month-old baby(M). Right after the baby was born, I experienced a sort of rejection toward the toddler; I identified and validated this emotion and kept it in check—I suppose it’s just down to our instincts, and the fact that we react differently. The problem is that the frustration and anger toward her haven’t subsided over the months: when the baby cries, I immediately feel a strong maternal instinct, whereas when she cries, I feel irritated. I ma”

“My 7 month old is very distracted by her 2.5 year old sibling. She’ll pop on and off to follow him around the room. I’ve gotten by nursing in football hold on a MyBreastFriend pillow and rotating around the room so she can see him, but it’s uncomfortable, exhausting and she’s getting too big for the pillow. Sometimes, I can get toddler to sit and read a book where she can see him, but not often enough. I nursed her brother in a dark room at this stage, but that’s not an option anymore. I really”

“I have a three week old and an almost three year old. My husband is going back to work next week and I am FREAKING OUT. How are we managing two kids this young? How can I do anything with my toddler when my newborn is eating on demand every 1.5-2 hours and needing contact naps all day. I have a carrier that I like, but still. All the advice! Tell me it gets better because right now I just want to crawl into a hole! submitted by /u/Desperate-Estate-733 [link] [comments]”

“If your second baby was a Velcro baby, what was your experience like having a Velcro baby and a toddler? What things did you do to make it easier? submitted by /u/Wise-Process-2506 [link] [comments]”

“How long will it take for my LO (8 mo) to not have so much separation anxiety? If I put her down in her playpen to get things done around the house, she cries. If I put her in her stroller, she cries. If I walk away from her for 30 seconds, she cries. If I take her to daycare, she not only cries, but immediately speed-crawls across the room to try to catch up with me before I walk out of the classroom. It's so hard to leave her, and I basically have to either be holding her at all times or s”

“We have a 2.5-year-old son and a 6-month-old daughter. My son gets extremely jealous whenever I hold or carry the baby – especially when I'm trying to mind them both on my own. As soon as I pick her up, he shouts at me to put her down, demands to be carried himself, or tells me to give her to mummy. My wife doesn't have the same problem at all. I can sometimes hold the baby briefly, or calm her and put her back on the carpet so I can keep both of them going. But it's only ever a matt”

“I have 24 month old toddler twins and a 5 week old. I often nurse on the lounge because I’m still accessible to toddlers (and love a side lay position). My toddlers are still adjusting and often exhibit aggressive behaviors to elicit a response from me, i.e. pulling my hair, trying to pull newborn off breast by yanking limbs etc. This causes my husband to crash out because he says he “hates having to play defense”. As in, if he’s not working he has to entertain the toddlers or take them to a sep”

“My baby used to happily play by herself so I could get things done, take a shower, eat some food, etc. It wasn’t until she got to be 11+ months and she just turned 1 this week and absolutely hates to be put down. Like, can I have 60 seconds to make some food for you with both hands? Literally had to put her in my carrier today so we could be touching so I could scramble some eggs without her hanging on my leg whining and crying. It doesn’t help that she is deep into a mama-obsessed phase so anyt”

“So my husband will be there during days and while I am giving birth but will be with the toddler at nights bc he is a Velcro boy who needs all the support he can get as he is a momma's boy and will likely have a hard time with the transition, so I will be solo parenting at night with newborn. (He's not happy leaving me there but I'd rather he leave and help our oldest with the transition instead of making him wonder where his parents are. He just turned 2) Here is my question. For ev”

“I don’t know.. like the title states, I can’t stand my toddler most of the time lately. I have a 2.5 year old and a 4 month old. I saw a lot of posts where it was the opposite - people preferring their toddler over their newborn. I guess I’m struggling to relate. My toddler overstimulates me and I can’t muster the energy to be fun and engaging with her. She drives me absolutely insane most days and she’s really not a bad kid - she’s sweet and fun loving, but is just so loud and repeats herself a”

“As the title says - how are we managing this? I have a newly 2 year old and a newborn. I was given a few baby swings which I was hoping to use as a safe place to set baby briefly when I need two hands. However, my wonderfully curious toddler is VERY interested in the swings and wants to sit and climb on them, push them around, etc. Any ideas?? submitted by /u/kaypancake [link] [comments]”

“For those of you who have had a newborn and a toddler, when did you feel comfortable taking care of both of them at once? I have a two-year-old and a six-week-old, and I find taking care of both of them by myself so stressful and hard. submitted by /u/Dapper_Mortgage7009 [link] [comments]”

“I have a 2 year old and am due with my 2nd late February. My husband and I both get 3 months off. We have an overnight postpartum doula for 6 weeks, thanks to his work benefits. What other support would set us best up for success? A few specific thoughts: - How often should I have his nanny come while we’re on leave? - When should my amazing family member visit to help support us with cooking, cleaning, childcare, etc and for how long? - Any other paid services I should consider or support to ma”

“I have a 2 year old and am due with my 2nd late February. My husband and I both get 3 months off. We have an overnight postpartum doula for 6 weeks, thanks to his work benefits. What other support would set us best up for success? A few specific thoughts: - How often should I have his nanny come while we’re on leave? - When should my amazing in laws visit to help support us with cooking, cleaning, childcare, etc and for how long? - Any other paid services I should consider or support to make lif”

“When my baby was like 1-4m I could manage household tasks decently well. But now my 5mo early crawler takes has such a short attention span that I pretty much need to be by his side playing with him for the whole wake window. If I’m not right by his side he’s screaming crawling after me to pick him up. But if I’m sitting near him while he plays he’ll be perfectly happy for a little while until his nap (which are usually super short). TLDR I have very limited hands free time during the day to coo”

“My baby's 17 weeks old and plays alone about 30 minutes at a time every wake window. He doesnt really care about toys much, he mostly just spins in circles and rolls himself around the room. But I've been told that he doesnt play on his own enough and I hold him too much. Is 30 minutes not enough? submitted by /u/Suspicious_Box_4898 [link] [comments]”

“My baby girl is my second child. My firstborn was suuuuch a Velcro baby and definitely still has a strong mama preference. He’s 3 now and he loves me so much, also loves his dad, but I’m definitely the one he wants most of the time. My second born is primarily cared for by me, exactly like my first was. My 3 yr old is in full time daycare so he’s not home most of the day. I’m spending all day with my girl but she is definitely feisty, independent, bossy (can’t believe she’s only 10 mos and all o”

“My toddler is feeling left out and I see it in her face she's sad and confused with the new addition. I really try to spend time with her 1-1 but I figured it'd be easier to have her part of the newborn routine. For experienced parents is that a good idea? Toddler has tendency to throw things or just act out as toddlers do when they're confused, so I'm also worried about including her too much. Just want to ease this transition. Thanks! submitted by /u/pickllerickk [l”

“our 16 month old is going through a major phase where she needs to be held at all times or else she loses her mind. its hard to do anything. she hates the baby carrier. and if we just try to let her figure it out on her own, she cries so much and holds her breath her lips literally turn blue its kind of terrifying. now this isn't 100% of the time. but its enough that makes it really hard to get anything done most of the day. she isn't walking yet, but pediatrician not super concerned and”

“My LO is 4 months and obviously she’s not big enough for a high chair or to hold on hip so in order to try to get things done I have to put her in her bassinet or a bouncer/swing for a bit but I feel so guilty that I’m all the time putting her away somewhere. I pump so that makes holding her awkward cause of the pumps. Don’t get me wrong we do tummy time, house tours, I breastfeed her to sleep/nap time, cuddles at home or on the walk when she doesn’t wanna be in the pram but at home I just feel”

“My LO recently hit 8 weeks and suddenly LOVES his play mat and pack n play with mobile. My question is: is there a problem with him doing this independently for long periods of time? We are always next to him but he seems to prefer cooing and playing on his own. He won’t look at us or interact at all when he is on his mat or pack n play. Obviously he sits with us throughout the day, we hold him and talk etc. but he will easily spend upwards of 30-40 minutes solo playing if we let him. Is this fi”

“I am 8 weeks pp and struggling soooo hard with trying to split myself between my newborn and 2 year old. It’s specifically challenging because my newborn is 1,000% a Velcro baby who refuses to ever be put down for a second and will not let anyone — especially my husband — hold her. It’s gotten progressively harder for me to spend any amount of 1:1 time with my toddler, who is also VERY mom-centric and was a super Velcro baby too. I baby-wear a lot and it makes my 2 y/o very jealous and sad. But”