Parents feel overwhelmed by the intensity of new parenthood
34 posts across 6 communities in the last 30 days; 38% from r/NewParents.
“I feel like being a first time mom I’m surrounded by so much worry. Constantly worrying if my daughter is meeting milestones appropriately, if she does something “strange” is it normal? I feel like social media has also made it worse because you see so many other moms sharing…”
“I’m a FTM to a 7.5-month-old baby girl, and I genuinely feel like motherhood has been the hardest experience of my life. I love my daughter, but I feel like I’ve spent the last seven months surviving rather than enjoying being a mom. She was a super challenging newborn and then…”
“So we just had our first a few days ago and I loved it. I had a long labor but the whole experience was amazing. It took us a while to get to our daughter, we went through a year of experiencing multiple early loses. That being said my biggest postpartum fear that keeps popping…”
Multiple parents described feeling emotionally overwhelmed and longing for a 'do-over' of their baby’s birth experience. They express feelings of exhaustion, anxiety about providing for their child, and occasionally forgetting they are even parents. These posts reflect the emotional toll of early parenting.
SOURCES (60)
“I felt it so strongly, the love I had for her when she was born. A tiny sweet baby who wanted nothing more than to sleep in my arms. I was head over heels. I wish I still felt that love for her. She’s 3…”
“My son is seven weeks old. Before he arrived, everyone told me that the second he was born, this magical switch would flip in my brain and I’d feel this overwhelming cinematic flood of fatherly love. My wife had that connection immediately. I just... didn’t. And I still dont. I take care of him constantly. I do the 2:00 AM diaper blowouts, I pace the living room rocking him when he screams, and I make sure my wife is resting. But emotionally, I feel like a sleep-deprived night-shift employee tak”
“Last night as I was getting my LO ready for a bath I was thinking about the phrase "you know your baby best". Which I don't really resonate with. Im a FTM to a 14 week old and every day I don't really know how I made it through, feeling like I'm just winging it and thinking I don't know how I'll manage another day tomorrow. I just do anyway. I think what's stopping me from knowing my baby best is the expectations around literally everything and it is sucking the”
“If you could go back in time and watch yourself being a new first time parent, what would make you laugh? submitted by /u/Luxidaisey [link] [comments]”
“We had a lot of good things and a healthy baby but postpartum hit me hard! I remember one night thinking to myself… for thousands of years, people have gone through this and made it to the other side…but I don’t think I am one of them. Somehow I did. LO is 26 months and those early days really were just a blink. It feels like FOREVER but once it’s gone, it’s miles away. From someone that used to panic at the thought that sleeping through the night is only sleeping 6 hours consistently and feelin”
“Hi everyone, I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy 7 days ago and I can’t explain how I’m feeling. I am extremely grateful for my baby but I can’t seem to sometimes just be annoyed on how demanding a new born is. I love him and I regret and feel guilty even having these thoughts. I gave birth in a different county and I can’t wait to go to my home country to maybe feel like I’m in my comfort zone. Whenever I get annoyed that he isn’t being cooperative I feel like such a bad mom. Newborns are so”
“My first and only baby is 7 weeks old and I'm finding myself stressing over every moment not captured. Any facial expression, movement, stretch not documented. I'm not someone whose first instinct is to record things. We don't have any photos with baby and my husband and I both in the photo. And then biggest of all, we didn't do professional newborn photos because it honestly just didn't occur to me that those are typically taken in the first 2 weeks, I was more focused on pr”
“I find here everyone couldn’t wait to escape it, and yes it was difficult with the monotonous routine of feeding, sleeping, no sleeping, changing, crying. And even in those moments where I had no idea what I was doing as a new mum, and wanted to cry, I adored it. I’m crying almost every day now just going back and looking at videos and pictures from her birth and the first couple of weeks we had her home. I remember the morning after getting her home thinking we’ve got so much time together, yet”
“I feel like being a first time mom I’m surrounded by so much worry. Constantly worrying if my daughter is meeting milestones appropriately, if she does something “strange” is it normal? I feel like social media has also made it worse because you see so many other moms sharing their babies milestones or what they’re currently doing. I honestly hate feeling this way 🥲 submitted by /u/everythingbagelmya [link] [comments]”
“I’m a FTM to a 7.5-month-old baby girl, and I genuinely feel like motherhood has been the hardest experience of my life. I love my daughter, but I feel like I’ve spent the last seven months surviving rather than enjoying being a mom. She was a super challenging newborn and then from around 2.5 months old, we’ve dealt with significant feeding issues. She developed a bottle aversion, and feeding became an absolute nightmare. We’ve worked with feeding specialists, tried different formulas, dealt wi”
“So we just had our first a few days ago and I loved it. I had a long labor but the whole experience was amazing. It took us a while to get to our daughter, we went through a year of experiencing multiple early loses. That being said my biggest postpartum fear that keeps popping up has been not being able to have more kids. Has anyone else experienced this? If so how did you mentally deal with that hurdle? submitted by /u/MulberryHistorical10 [link] [comments]”
“I'm wondering if most first time mums give birth after 40 weeks or before? submitted by /u/No_Heart_2225 [link] [comments]”
“I love being a mom. I love my children, 2 under 2. As hectic as it sounds, it's more beautiful than you can imagine. But the idea that they will grow up, and that I should enjoy every moment, is stressing me more than the hard work itself. Maybe its FOMO, although they are with me all day long. submitted by /u/lunareclipse2209 [link] [comments]”
“My baby turned 12 weeks recently and I’ve been emotional about him growing up so fast. I miss the sleepy potato that he was the first few weeks. I wish I can go back and relive those days and nights. He’s changed so much in 12 weeks and although I love every version that he’s become, I’m mourning how fleeting time is. I’m so in love with my boy. He’s the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. submitted by /u/SawftPawz [link] [comments]”
“We became proud parents of a cute little girl around 10 days back. As someone has well said, becoming a parent is the best feeling in the world. We started living this feeling a few days back. We became parents after 7 years and 5 years of marriage. During the initial years of our marriage, all we wanted to do was live life. After the 5th year, we started getting this craving to become parents. There were a lot of things we sorted before taking such a huge step. It was not easy, we had to really”
“3 months postpartum and I’m still waiting to enjoy motherhood. I don’t like being a mother. I’m agitated, overwhelmed and just feel inconvenienced. I love my daughter but not this experience. Is this normal? Does it get better? submitted by /u/Abject_Willow_2082 [link] [comments]”
“My baby is 8 weeks old now, she’s perfect and everything I’ve always wanted. I’ve always wanted to be a mom, and I’m very grateful. I think I had such different expectations when I was pregnant.. I figured my mom would be at my house constantly because of how bad she wanted to be a grandma. I think she also kinda fed that into my head, saying my partner would get sick of her cause she’d be here so much. She’s maybe visited 4 times since I’ve had her, once because I got 0 sleep and asked for help”
“My baby is 5 weeks old & I feel like all I’ve done is hold her or have her attached to me in some way since she’s been born. I’m trying to enjoy it as I know it doesn’t last forever but I’m feeling sooo touched out. I can tolerate it most of the day but by the end of the day I want to cry and feel so irritated. How do you cope with this? submitted by /u/Exciting-Look6911 [link] [comments]”
“Just had my sweet girl 5 days ago, she roared into the world in 12 hours from the first twinge (4 hours in hospital from 4cm- birth). I had no hardcore pain relief (my preference after a failed epidural last time) and was mainly in the shower/ sitting backwards on the toilet/ spent a few hours in the birthing pool and used the gas and air throughout. Every time they checked her she was perfect in terms of position and her heart rate. Transition and pushing hurt like hell but it was literally 30”
“I was just thinking about how when in the hospital, I was holding my baby while she slept, and I was asking if it was okay to do that feeling stressed about ruining her sleep and guilty for not putting her back in the bassinet. I think I heard the safe sleep guidelines so much before having my baby i thought it was bad to let the baby sleep anywhere but the crib/bassinet. Fast forward to now 7months later and currently holding my baby for a contact nap, which is still how all naps are at this po”
“33 weeks on Monday and the anxiety surrounding parenthood has really hit me. There's always a little one nearby watching you and absorbing your behavior and how you interact with the world. The pressure to be perfect will be heavier than ever. The teaching moments are happening 24/7 even when you're not directly talking to your kid: modeling boundary setting, how to appropriately react to a Karen in the store, navigating difficult family dynamics, how to be mad without being disrespectfu”
“My first is 9 months old and I’m absolutely dreading the fact that his first birthday is just around the corner. I’ve loved every single minute of being a Mummy. I just want to rewind and live it over and over again. I’m truly heartbroken thinking about him getting older. Is having more children just as amazing and does it just feel like this forever now? Just editing to say I love each version the same and more I’m just wanting time to slow a bit. submitted by /u/Fun-Heart2937 [link”
“I really need to hear from mothers who have experienced something similar. I’m about 5 months pregnant, and this pregnancy was very much wanted. Before becoming pregnant, children were one of the biggest joys in my life. I loved being around them, I was deeply moved by videos of children, and I had always imagined having my own child. Everything changed almost immediately after I found out I was pregnant. Instead of happiness, I felt panic, sadness and a sense of emotional disconnection that I c”
“I have a friend who has a 4yo, and I’ve watched her completely change since becoming a mom. Of course, I understand that motherhood comes with an immense amount of change…your lifestyle, your body, your priorities, your interests, your hobbies, your time, everything. But at the same time, I’ve watched her become someone who seems to have completely lost herself in motherhood. She is an AMAZING mom. Her child is such an amazing kid, and I genuinely believe so much of that comes from the way she p”
“FTM to a 5 week old. I love him. So much, I look at him and my heart bursts. But I fear I'm losing myself to motherhood. I used to read multiple books a month, now I'm lucky if I read a page a week. I would crochet fun projects, but now one sits waiting for me to come back and truthfully I can barely remember what it was meant to be. How are we meant to maintain ourselves through this? I'm EBF, so must always be nearby, as he eats every 2-3 hours during the day, and if a nighttime I”
“I wanted a child for so long and I love my son in a way that's almost overwhelming but I swear to god, about 10 times a day I feel like I just can't do it? Like, someone's given me a job I am massively underqualified for? I have had anxiety for most of my life, especially health anxiety, very manageable with therapy but always there. I've only been a mom for 11 months and the amount of anxiety I experience is something else. Like, there is always something I fear is wrong, which”
“First time parents. I don’t even know how to title this and I’ll try to keep it somewhere brief. Me and my partner had a baby 5 months ago. She is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. I’m so proud she’s my daughter and I love her so much. However my wife is OBSESSED with her. She wants to be with her 24/7 and is the best mom I could ask for. She pretty much feeds her, changes her and puts her to sleep 95% of the time. Im starting to get in my own head if something is wrong with me. I’ve nev”
“Genuinely curious question. Before I got pregnant my mom always talked about how much she loved being pregnant. She had three pregnancies, easy deliveries, some minor complications with two babies that got addressed pretty easily. I’m 21 weeks in and I have had about 2 weeks—somewhere between weeks 12 and 14–that I felt amazing. I had curbed nausea and 1st trimester lethargy, got back to working out and felt completely myself again. Everyone said to enjoy the second trimester and I was fully int”
“I had my first baby at the age of 36. I would say I had a fulfilling life prior. Am in a happy marriage and I’m financially stable. I love my baby more than anything but I sometimes feel isolated from the rest of the world. No one prepares you for the responsibilities that comes with caring for a newborn. As a mom you need to be 24/7 present for this baby and your own self becomes secondary. Plus let’s not mention the exhaustion. I’m not someone who ever stayed at home. Now am at home all day ca”
“I still can’t get over how much I love my baby. Staring at her, playing with her, soothing her… even when I think I’ll feel annoyed because it’s 3am and not an ideal playtime, I find myself smiling through the yawns. I hope it never ends but am wondering for other parents who found themselves overwhelmingly in love with their little one(s), did the time come when you stopped wanting to live life just basking in their presence? I’m worried my love for my daughter is a bit unhinged seeing as we’re”
“Hi there, First time mom, 31 years old, and just had a fresh crying session, husband came in to check on me, but how can he understand this push and pull I feel between who I was and who I am now? How to explain this feeling of extreme isolation of being a new mom and being a foreigner in your own life? Like everything feels unrecognisable, me, my life, my world? My relationship, my friendships everything…. I love my baby, and I love being his mother, I love caring for him, I love him so much th”
“As my little newborn is about to turn 1 year, my husband and I were thinking back to our baby registry. First time parents not having a clue what would be important and not important. I would do anythingggggg to go back in time knowing what I know and change that entire registry. submitted by /u/throwaway84583077 [link] [comments]”
“Not the baby. Not your partner. You Once a baby is born, everything ends up revolving around the child, and whenever anyone talks to the parents, the question is usually, "How's the baby?" So take this space to share how you are. How are you coping? What are you struggling with? And do you have any tips that might help other parents going through something similar? I’ll start. I’m 4 weeks PP and I’ve been struggling with feeding my baby to the point where I considered stopping brea”
“My daughter is 9 months. She was wanted beyond all things. We tried for 4 years all together to get pregnant and when I found out, I was overjoyed. When I had her via c-section I expected some Hollywood moment where she would stop crying when she heard my voice. It wasn’t the case. She didn’t really react at all. She’s overall a very easygoing baby. She plays independently, she’s not clingy, she’s a good eater and sleeper. But to me it hurts that she is pretty much indifferent to me. She smiles”
“My experience of motherhood has been so good so far. There have been tears and difficult moments but on the whole I was enjoying it. But the last couple of weeks, since he turned 11 weeks maybe, it's just become so much more difficult. First there were huge issues with gas out of nowhere, but that's not so bad because the cause is obvious, then his sleep got worse and now he will not stop whiiiiiinnning and it is driving me insane. Lots of things make him laugh which is so lovely but ver”
“I used to babysit a lot as a teen. I'm 31 now and six months pregnant and realizing pregnancy feels a lot like babysitting yourself - not the type of babysitting where you're actively playing the whole time, but more like once the kids go to bed, and you're waiting for the parents to get home. Which makes sense, I guess, given there is a baby involved here. Anyone else feel that way? submitted by /u/Successful-Long-6851 [link] [comments]”
“I love being a mom. I spent 12 years working in early intervention before having my own kid and like to believe I’m good at this. We originally planned for 2 kids but postpartum my husband really struggled. He watched me go through a very scary delivery, and felt helpless. He struggled with the lack of sleep and stress of a tiny human. I get it. I want him to be okay and I respect that he’s saying he wishes he could give me more but knows that he can’t handle it. I just can’t let go of this empt”
“When you’re pregnant, you have an idea of what having a baby is like but it’s nothing close to the real deal honestly…especially a newborn. It’s the hardest thing sometimes and the sweetest thing you’ve ever experienced in life all in one. It’s a heavy responsibility but the best responsibility you could imagine. I am 16 days in I think? And I just can’t stop laughing at the fact that I thought I had any idea what this could even kinda be like. First of all just birthing her, I will never get ov”
“I don't know why I'm posting this. I just need to let my emotions out. My baby is amazing. She is the best. She does not sleep through the night (not even close), the newborn trenches were fcking hard and sometimes this new life still is pretty exhausting. But I have never felt such love, pride, happiness, and basically the feeling of everything falling into place before. For a long time, I wasn't sure if I ever wanted to have children. And during pregnancy, I was so scared I couldn&”
“I just wanted to post to remind everyone to be kind to yourselves when going through this hard time in life, and give my perspective as someone who viewed parenthood differently. I felt guilted into breastfeeding, gave it a go, and didn't produce anywhere near enough. Every interaction I had with people in pharmacies/social interactions (ALL were women, mind you) were very pushy and honestly rude on the subject. After a day crying on a wall outside a pharmacy after trying to get help with ou”
“I was happily scrolling back up the photo album recounting 5 months of our baby’s life, then I got to the part before baby was born. Me and wife were living such an easy life, we had zero worries. Literally zero. It made me tear up a little and took a lot of effort to not get more emotional I than I did. I don’t typically cry or feel emotional easily. In the last 5 months, we’ve had to navigate a traumatic birth that was physically and mentally taxing on my wife. Our baby is a high needs reactiv”
“This post is really just the title. I love my baby SO much, it physically hurts to think about being away from him ever since I'm a sahm. He's funny and sweet and stubborn just like my husband, and over the last four months I've felt love like nothing I've ever felt before for him. But I've also realized how much I was seeking and 'identity' by becoming a mom. I was 21 when I got pregnant and felt so stagnant and lost in life. I thought I just didn't have enough l”
“Since becoming a mom, a whole new realm on the Internet has opened up: parenting and babies. Reddit, social media, other forums. Like, a whole new world that obviously existed but to which I was 100% oblivious. One side ”effect” (?) of this is that one gets to see glimpses of what it’s like to raise children in other countries. Both here and on Instagram I see various posts etc about how people ”have to” (have to or want to or I don’t know…) put their babies in daycare really early. Like at four”
“I absolutely love my son (16 months) and I have a job that I love as well. I like having something to focus on outside of motherhood and I am passionate about my career and frankly life is too expensive to not have two working parents in a moderately high cost of living area (in my opinion). However, some days it just feels like nothing goes right. I don’t get to spend as much time in the day with my son as I’d like, I miss something at work, I hit roadblocks with my work, etc. When does it stop”
“My baby is 11 days old. I love her so much. She was and is so wanted. People tell me how perfect she is, and she really is absolutely perfect and beautiful and amazing and all the rest of it. But she also has a terrible case of thrush. She hates eating. She will only sleep when held. My husband is a wonderful person and already a good father, he is obsessed with her. But he also sleeps so soundly he won’t wake to her cries. He defaults to me being the “go to” for all decisions and all actions. H”
“What do you find that is most rewarding for you in the process? What stops you from going crazy when things are hard/seem impossible? submitted by /u/NEON-_-6 [link] [comments]”
“My daughter is coming up on 8 months very soon and I still find myself being overwhelmed by her existence and the reality that she will one day be an independent adult with her own opinions, family, etc. and won’t need me anymore. Sometimes I stare at her and I’m completely dumbstruck by the sight of her, I freeze and I feel like I’m in that scene of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off where Cameron stares at the painting. My wife and I made an entirely new person that nobody’s ever seen before and its our”
“Heya! I spend all of my career working HARD — going above and beyond etc you know the type 😅 Before coming a mother (earlier this year), people would say “you’ll be totally different after” or share their experiences of becoming less ambitious after motherhood. As of now, I still feel motivated to achieve — that being said, I’m very conscious about being a present active parent. I don’t know if this is a contradiction 😭 I’m still early on my journey and recently started working again. I’d love”
“My baby turned 1 a few days ago. Of course I am happy he is developing and growing well. But in a way I am also grieving the time. The baby stage. I just look at him and can’t say I am flooded with love etc. i think I am not emotional in general. But I look at him and think this baby beings are fascinating. They are truly amazing. This baby fat, huuuge cheeks, huge heads, the way the giggle, or kiss by putting saliva all over your face, the way they dance by bobbling their heads, the way they fa”
“I knew having a baby would be hard, I was prepared for that. I love my baby so much, she means literally everything to me and I feel luckier to be her mom than I could have ever imagined. But I feel like she is so challenging at times. I don’t understand how I am supposed to function as a human being, I don’t understand how people just go about their normal lives while having a baby. I don’t understand if this is the norm. Not really looking for advice, I just need to vent. Baby girl is 13 month”
“Firstly I am so grateful and happy to be having this baby. I am in no way unhappy about that fact. I’m grieving what I wanted my life to look like in a way. I cared for my father for a few years which meant relocating back to the UK after living abroad for nearly 10. I was out of work for 3 years and then after he passed away I very slowly clawed my way back I to a job and normality. I started again from scratch in my 30s. I met my partner and was enjoying life so much and enjoying freedom and l”
“I became a mom last Wednesday! Our little girl is only a week old and I love her more than anything else on this earth! It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions, I’m so happy I don’t know what to do with myself! I’ve, however, found myself with a new emotion I didn’t expect! Guilt! I feel extremely guilty whenever I let my baby sleep, all on her own in her crib or on the couch next to me. She looks so content and I know babies sleep a lot so why do I feel so guilty for sitting down with a coffee or”
“I feel like so much of parenthood and what is discussed is survival and trying to “fix” things. I can fall into this trap and have to remind myself that sleep will come and these struggles are temporary. It can feel like a negative experience because of it, but in reality there are so many sweet things and memories too and I don’t want to be that parent that just says “you were an awful baby/sleeper” and like a burden for being a baby. Tell me the good parts about your baby, their personality, w”