Parents Struggle With Childcare & Family

“My 4-year-old has been at the same center since he was 3 months old, and we recently found out it is closing in two weeks. We have lots of solid options and one front runner. I, however, am struggling to feel like anywhere is safe and secure again at the moment. I was pregnant when we chose his last daycare, and it feels a lot harder now. His last daycare was nothing over the top security-wise. App accessed front door, fence around the playground, and I actually have no idea if they lock the pla”

“Our son is 10 months old and we are leaning towards switching to a new daycare. There’s lots of reasons – the new place is slightly less expensive, diapers and wipes are included, it’s closer to our house, they have livestreaming cameras, and our current dc is really inconsistent about communicating with us. This is just one example but they once sent an email about the center being closed due to a power outage two minutes before they were supposed to open. Still, I am nervous about making the s”

“We are a bit older as first-time parents (both around 40), so our own parents aren't the youngest anymore either (all between 65 and 72). We have a 2yo toddler, an amazing boy whom we truly love. However, there is some misalignment between how I imagined family life would be and the reality. I was trying to discuss it with my friends, but they are in widely different situations. Are grandparents your guests, or are they actually helping you? Ours are 100% guests. We need to clean the house t”

“I’m going to really try not to sound pretentious here because we know having a full time nanny or part time nanny is a total luxury for this reason, but my husband and I are strongly considering one because losing our “free time” scares us. We also don’t have any family nearby to help us. We want a child for the “right” reasons and expect the child will be the focus, and know its the biggest responsibility of our lives, but we can’t get over the fact that we’ll never have time for ourselves. We”

“I’m probably maxing out my allotted number of posts in this thread about the same topic and should have added this to my earlier one😂. But for anyone who started their baby in daycare around 12–13 months, how did the transition go? Was it as hard as you anticipated, or am I making it way worse in my head? Would love to hear your experiences! submitted by /u/PossibilityClean8458 [link] [comments]”

“Hi everyone! I'm a first time mom to a 2.5 month old baby, and I'm already stressing about going back to work when she's around 6–7 months old. I'm trying to decide between daycare and a nanny. I'm worried about how often babies get sick at daycare, especially since it's not easy for us dentists to cancel patients last minute. But I'm also nervous about trusting someone I don't know to care for my baby at home. We don't have family nearby to help. I'd love”

“In case anyone is in that period where you are stressed about putting your kid in daycare/preschool, I'd like to assuage your concerns by sharing some delightful little moments with my kiddo recently. These probably wouldn't have happened without her school, and I am always so thankful that she is in an environment where she is learning and being stimulated! At least once a day, she demands that we stop and she takes us through her "stretches" which are essentially just a toddl”

“Hi All! I will be sending a 13 month old to a small daycare in a few months. As this is all new to me, I’d love to hear some advice on the following: 1.) I plan to start two weeks before returning to work so we can ease into it. Any suggestions on how to best do this 2.) While my job is full-time, I think to start I am most comfortable with 8:30-3:30 or 4. Is this too long for a 13 month old? 3.) work is really really busy or really slow. Even when it is slow, do you suggest I still send her fiv”

“I have an opportunity to work full time from home with a 90 day hybrid start. My baby is 5 months old and I left my previous education job before she was born. I’m having a hard time deciding if it is worth leaving her and signing her up for daycare part time and the other days with her grandparents or if I should work part time doing private music lessons through a local music store that has a higher hourly pay and I could do part time, while working around my husbands work schedule. Here are s”

“My daughter's daycare closed last week because the workers went on a strike. It was so sudden that I got so worried how we were gonna get through without daycare as my husband and I are both working. Waitlists in Toronto can be as long as 2 years, so when I got a spot for my daughter just in 3 days of looking, we felt so happy! My daughter already started going to the new daycare this week. However, yesterday, I got a call from another daycare saying they have a spot for my daughter as well.”

“FTM here, getting ready to go back to work when my baby turns 3 months old. I work from home and my job is pretty flexible. I don’t have many calls, and most of my coworkers are moms, so everyone is pretty understanding. However, there are usually one or two days a week when I really need to focus and get a lot of work done. I’m considering hiring a responsible high schooler to come over for a few hours after school to help with the baby while I’m still home working. Has anyone done something si”

“ftm to a 5 month old, we were looking at day cares but nothing fit with our part time schedule so the next route was interviewing babysitters to come to our home. i got so many applicators but one girl was a mutual friend, had a LOT in common, works with animals which we have a lot of at home so that was a nice thing to check off and works at a day care part time already, so she was top of my list. I’m trying to set up a time to officially meet her, i admit with my busy life i don’t always text”

“My child is 2y4m and has been in 3d/week daycare since she was 3 months old. We moved cities last year and established with a branch of her previous daycare even though it’s a bit of a drive. We were meh about it until she switched rooms last month, and it’s like day and night a far better, more engaging experience. No more crying at drop off, and when we pick her up she says “I had a happy day!” This daycare is 11 miles from our home. There is always traffic and it takes about 20-25 min each wa”

“Hi all! I'm a FTM, currently 15 weeks postpartum. My son will be turning 6 months beginning of January and will attend daycare 5 days a week, as I return to work full time.my husband also works in consulting full time. Mum guilt is really starting to hit me. Is it selfish of me to go back full time? Won't I miss so many milestones and will my little one miss me? Is 6 months too soon? I'm a senior manager at 3w so worked very hars to be at this point in my career and love it. At the s”

“Hi! I’m (FTM, 35) here looking to hear everyone’s experiences on going back to work and sending baby to day care. I think I need some reassurance to be honest, as I’m really struggling with this. I’m in Canada and only took 1 year. I know we’re very blessed compared to many other places in being able to take that long! I’m now gutted and wish I could be off longer with my daughter but it’s not really a financial option for us (I don’t think). I don’t really have the option of working PT at my jo”

“I've been wondering this for years and curious if anyone has thought the same or if it's been studied: are there differences in kids' social behavior based on the kind of early child care received? I'm not looking to peg daycare/nannies/SAHParents against one another, I'm curious if kids who are looked after by caregivers who are not their parents exhibit more extroverted qualities or maybe extrovert is too fine a point but are they more socially developed? I've spent a l”

“My LO is 4 months old and going to start daycare when he will be 5 months old. Currently I work from home and have nanny so it jas been relatively easier for me to jump in if nanny needed any help navigating if he is sleepy/hungry etc. For context, my LO is on no particular feeding/napping schedule yet. Infact right now he is playful all the time and hardly wants to eat. He is too distracted and hungry at the same still finishes 1/3 of the bottle, if any. He averages 20 oz a day which his doctor”

“Okay, this might be a little unhinged, but I got genuinely pissed off today after reading a BBC article about how many kids starting school aren't even potty trained. I'm sorry, but what the hell is going on? One area apparently had close to 40% of incoming kids who weren't properly toilet trained. How is this even a conversation we're having? And obviously I'm not talking about kids with disabilities, medical issues, etc. I'm talking about otherwise typically developing”

“Little bit of a vent, little bit looking for advice. My wife and I have a 17 month old that we absolutely adore, he is the light of our lives. We don’t have a village at all. We have been completely alone in this since he was born and my wife and I have been away from him together 3 times since birth. A total of around 6 hours. So it’s pretty safe to say that we are having an extremely hard time coming to terms with him starting daycare November 2. He is going to be full time once he’s 18 months”

“I know I’m very lucky to have my parents who are retired and able to care for my 12 month old and 3 year old all the time! My issue is they genuinely cannot respect my parenting decisions regarding food and screen time. Apart from a visit to the park, my kids are sat in front of the TV and pumped full of sugary treats and fast food. I’m talking constant offers of juice, ice creams, oreos, lollies etc while watching absolute garbage like baby lia cha cha or these little russian children that act”

submitted by /u/waterpuppy84 [link] [comments]

“Needing some seasoned mom advice 🤍 I’ve been going back and forth on this for months and honestly don’t know what to do. We have a 2.5-year-old and want to grow our family, but childcare has been so hard. We’ve tried nannies and daycares, but my job starts early and my husband is a firefighter with a rotating schedule, so nothing has really worked. We also don’t have a support system nearby. A big part of me wants to stay home while my kids are little, but I have a teaching job I really like, a”

“I am just at a loss of what to do. The daycare situation for my almost-3 year old is giving me a headache. Currently we pay a nominal fee ($150/week) for our neighbor (71F) to watch him during the day along with a few other kids. We need to switch him to a regular daycare because she refuses to enforce potty training, and doesn’t really take them out or let them jump up and down much - we live in an apartment building. Do we: A) put him in a decent daycare (almost $1600/month). The director has”

“I have a 20 month old who was enrolled in a Head Start facility provided by my job/then economic situation. They are an amazing resource and seeing my son given the attention he needs has been heartening. Unfortunately, I'm starting a new job and the facility only does half days which doesn't work for mine nor my wife's schedules. We've been on the hunt for new daycares but man is it breaking my heart knowing that the care may not be the same. We're privileged enough to have”

“My 7 month old is starting daycare in WA State. Our state requires vaccines and to provide proof of vaccines directly from the doctors office. I of course did this, but it got me thinking about exemptions and how many students may be unvaxxed. The daycare, thinking I was antivax for asking, told me yes all I need to do is fill out a form to be exempt. Yikes. I told daycare I was asking so I was aware of the level of risk my baby would exposed to. I asked how many children at the daycare were unv”

“My baby will be starting daycare at the end of the month. LO will be nearly 6 months old. I have some logistical questions. Some of these might sound silly. Do you bring your baby with a bag everyday? This is for things other than her bottles. Do we bring a bag back and forth, or do people typically leave those at the daycare? I know she will need extra outfits, pacifiers, etc. How many extra outfits do you recommend packing? What do you typically dress the baby in? IMO pajamas seem easier to de”

“How the heck do you find a reliable in-home nanny for your LO? Do you go through an organization? Or look for individual contributors via online forums etc, and vet them yourself? I’ve seen Facebook groups which seem promising other than the fact that it’s Facebook 😅 help! submitted by /u/togadiz [link] [comments]”

“Hi everyone, I need a quick reality check. My daughter is 8 months old and has been at a licensed home daycare for about a month now. My older kid went to a traditional commercial daycare center around the same age, so I keep comparing the two experiences and I can't figure out if my expectations are off, or if this environment just isn't the right fit. On paper, the home daycare is great. Communication is amazing because they send constant photos and updates, and they follow her nap and”

“I have been a SAHM for almost five years. I have 3 kids (5, 3, and almost 1). This youngest baby is most likely our last. My oldest two go to a school that starts at 1 year and goes until 5th grade. It's a WONDERFUL nurturing place and I feel like they're an extension of my family. My oldest two are absolutely thriving there. I just applied for my youngest to go there next year when she's 22 months old. I've found in my experience that I absolutely love being a SAHM to my kids wh”

“i’ve been work from home with my LO since she was born, with some help from family (she’s with her grandma thursday/friday). even though i’m not meeting heavy (IC marketing) and with her all day, i’m starting to feel like i’m not giving her enough enrichment throughout her day. we’ve been thinking about daycare but… i’m scared? lol scared or apprehensive. i think it’s mostly the horror stories of LO’s getting sick. she is fully vaccinated and had her RSV shot when she was born in march (it was n”

“I'm going to start leaving LO with grandparents for a few hours a day or two in a week. They are set in terms of a crib and pack and play. What all should I store at their place and what should I send every time? LO is 15 weeks, formula fed. Grandparents babysit now as well, but they have always come to our house. submitted by /u/dr_sm_a [link] [comments]”

“PTO, family, friends, combo, etc? How far did you move and for how long did you have interim childcare? Thanks! View Poll submitted by /u/dms2628 [link] [comments]”

“You will get to spend more time or more high quality time with kids no matter what kind of help you want (we have two full time with two kids under 3) if you want to be a good parent. You will get more quality time with yourself. You will have more family time or higher quality family time. So overall, your family and part of you will for sure benefit. There maybe a small part of you that still crave curtain things, which I dont have an answer. But it will be worth it in the end.”

“Background information: I work from home. My mom has been our primary childcare for 2 years. She watches both of my children 2 and 15 months. We pay her what is pretty typical for an in home daycare in the area. Someone I know was looking for temporary childcare and I asked her if she would be up for that for 6 weeks. I told her I was fine with them being at our house and give her the opportunity to make some extra money. That’s all fine. However our schedule has been 7 am - 4 pm with an hour lu”

“I'm at a loss. Do I swap daycares or stick it out? Context: We recently moved cross country (big life change) and I started working 25 hrs/week from being a SAHM (another big life change). We aren't close to family anymore (another change). All's that to say, my kids (5 and almost 2) have been at a local daycare for a month now. My 2yo cries and fusses for mom/dad most of the day and won't play. My 5yo complains (normally a chipper kid) but doesn't cry. The daycare is nice. T”

“My LO is 16 months and started daycare a couple of months ago. While at pickup the other day I heard two parents talking about getting on preschool waiting lists (they were parents to the 2 year old class). After the daycare search I was so stressed out and drained that I hadn't thought about preschool and then school. I was a public school kid from a very poor and dysfunctional family, so school choice wasn't something I thought about until I had my LO. I started looking and it is so OV”

“TLDR: For parents who both work 9-5 especially those with wfh days option, what has helped you the most to be able to work with a baby? Daycare? Nanny? Would like to hear others experiences. (Don’t have family member who can watch baby during work days). Hi - ftm to a 5 week old and having trouble deciding what would be best, day care or finding a nanny or other option I might not have thought through yet. For context - my SO just returned to work (9-5) so I stay with baby for now until my leave”

“Okay BIG DISCLAIMER. This is BY NO MEANS a judgement post for any parents who have to, choose to, or need to use daycare for their kids. I have NOTHING against the concept and see it happen beautifully every day for my nieces and nephews. I just struggle with it mentally for me and my son. Once again before anyone gets pissed this is NOT a judgement post. Honestly looking for some different perspectives that could be helpful to me mentally I personally for me and my baby have no plans on using d”

“I'm a sahm looking at returning to work. But if I have another kid, I did the math and effectively I'd make like $12/hr. How do people afford multiple kids in daycare? submitted by /u/abbiyah [link] [comments]”

“My LO is 10.5 months old. Between grad school and clinicals I was able to be the primary parent during the day between 4-5 days a week her whole life with a relatively flexible schedule. The time has now come for her to go to daycare because I got a job that has traditional working hours. When I tell you I was sobbing daily about daycare…I was so guilty for being excited about going to work and having time where I can connect with other adults. LOs other mom (we are a two mom household) has dayc”

“Hey y’all, Two kids are starting preschool and I switched jobs: It’s now an hour at the start & end of my workday to get my 6-month old from his current in-home daycare. I don’t want to complain to my wife about a new spot (she’s found all of them thus far) and would like to bring her solutions instead of problems… For once. (In this area specifically!!) I’ve done some preliminary searches - But is there a preferred vetting site y’all would recommend? I’m upper midwest / US. Lurkin’ moms hop”

“It’s just 3 days a week and the daycare is going to be like a second home to your baby. You will feel better after time passes and you believe he is loved and in good hands.”

“I’m in Canada, for context. My 20mo son has been attending an unlicensed daycare for about 6 weeks. He’s doing well! He seems to like the lady. She’s had a daycare for over 20 years. We chose her after a friend of ours had sent their daughter to her for over 3 years. He’s a little rough around the edges (not politically correct at all lol) but seems to know how to wrangle 5 kids and my son has no issue going. We pay $50 a day. He’s fed 2 snacks and lunch… although she’s quite vague about what sh”

“My 20mo son has been attending an unlicensed daycare for about 6 weeks. He’s doing well! He seems to like the lady. She’s had a daycare for over 20 years. We chose her after a friend of ours had sent their daughter to her for over 3 years. He’s a little rough around the edges (not politically correct at all lol) but seems to know how to wrangle 5 kids and my son has no issue going. We pay $50 a day. He’s fed 2 snacks and lunch… although she’s quite vague about what she feeds them which bothers m”

“We had a nanny for 18 months with our first. I worked remote as a Graphic Designer and could keep bf and be there in case of anything. I think it was awesome for us but god financially it killed my whole paycheck. My hubby was able to cover the rest of the bills though. At 18 we switched to daycare and that was a little over half price. My boss was super flexible as we transitioned and I loved that flexibility that we had. That job is out of the picture, unfortunately (it did pay a lot less) and”

“Hi everyone! FTM looking for some reassurance (but also honesty!). My daughter is 11 months and we have started her transition to daycare. I am in a very privileged position that I don’t go back to work until after Canadian Thanksgiving so I have over 3 weeks to ease her in with shorter days and working up to longer. I’ve already been struggling with a lot of Mom guilt about the fact that I chose to go back five days a week because the job I changed into had less workload (went from a classroom”

“I am looking for some advice, or what you all would do in our situation. Baby is due 1/4/27, but I will likely be induced on 12/28/26 unless she decides to come earlier on her own. My son (3.5 years old) came two weeks early. Basically, since I've been living with my husband (even before marriage in little apartments), we have hosted holidays for his family because his mom is a hoarder. We currently live about 2.5 hours from her in the mountains where we get pretty heavy snow. She does not f”

“We have 2 children who will be 18 months and 5 next school year. We're planning to enroll our son in Chinese immersion next year, which is out of our feeder pattern. There's one daycare in the feeder program that is about a 10 minute detour for my ~30 minute commute. From what I’ve read, it’s a family owned center that had a lot of tuenover under new ownership last year but mostly stablized. He’s kind of sketchy though, clearly chasing after some “best daycare” vanity awards or businesse”

“I've heard it said here that pre-k/daycare is beneficial starting at 3 but is there any research on how much is beneficial? Our options are partial day part time, partial day full time, full week part time and full week full time. Would love to hear any reasoning on if any of these are better than the others. submitted by /u/Cynoid [link] [comments]”

“Went back when he was 1 and I don't mind it completely. Of course I miss having as much time with him but he really enjoys the childminder and his friends there. It's not a bad thing to have to do I feel like he is gaining a lot out of the situation and transitioned really well. Also, I feel like I am getting a bit more me time even if it's at work (luckily I quite enjoy my job). I had maternity quite hard with sleep deprivation. I feel like now I can be there for him with my whole a”

“Looking for opinions and experiences. My first was with me and nanny until 2.5 yo. Transition to daycare was rough. With the second one - should I start at 9 months or 12-15 months? I dont think I have ability to do nanny for as long as it was with #1. submitted by /u/pillow_should [link] [comments]”

“Our daycare has started a parent/teacher committee which I’ve joined along with two other moms. The main goal is to increase parent engagement, build community and support new parents. Does anyone have any ideas for how to do this without adding too much of an extra burden onto parents? Any ideas from your own daycare that have been successful? submitted by /u/Cool-DogMom [link] [comments]”

“I’m a FTM of a 2 month old baby girl, I’ll be going back to work when she’s 5.5mo. Right now when I have an appointment or errand to run, my parents or in laws watch her for a few hours at my house. They’ll be watching her 4 days/week when I go back to work also. When did you let your LO be babysat at someone else’s house? What about being driven in the car by someone else? My MIL has mentioned taking my daughter to her hair appts and stuff and I just don’t see the need for her to take her anywh”

“Hello everyone. I (26F) am expecting my first baby next year and trying to figure out the most practical daycare set up once I return to work after maternity leave. I live in one city but commute about 45 minutes each way 4 days a week to another city for work. The commute is not bad at all and is mostly interstate. I work 7:00a-3:30p and leave home about 6:15 every morning. My question is whether it makes more sense to put baby in daycare closer to home or closer to my work. My husband’s work s”

“Hi! Curious to hear from people who have extra “village” help, or don’t but can weigh in. My husband and I have a three month old and live a couple of hours from my parents, so no family in town other than his brother. When we got pregnant, we considered moving to be closer to my parents, but ultimately decided being close to our friend network, most of whom have small children, was more important for the time being. That being said, now we’re starting to rethink this. I’m strongly considering u”

“I’m weighing the cost of childcare, and wondering if me and my husband could tag team taking care of our 3 month old since we both work from home. Problem is, my job is very demanding and requires my full attention, so I’m not sure how much help I would be. Anyone else have this same setup? submitted by /u/lil_gingerale [link] [comments]”

“Our now-18 month old was terminated from his previous daycare for failure to acclimate after six weeks. It was an in-home setting with mixed ages, six kids. After some scrambling, we've decided to try one of the larger chains. We hope that with two teachers and all kids around his age, he'll have an easier time adjusting. He starts tomorrow and my stomach is in knots! I'd appreciate some good vibes and success stories from moms whose children have made this kind of childcare switch.”

“If your nanny can take your kid out to things like library story time, kid activities going on, and have a playdate at least once a week, a nanny would be by far the better option than daycare. I say having 20 years experience with children and did the first four in daycare. You have one or two teachers, depending on age and how many kids, per 10 kids by the time they're 3. A child will get way less attention and care once you go to a daycare, instead I would increase socialization at home.”

“My daughter found a person like you describe, but she started off as a nanny. She is an older woman with adult children, so she can handle both taking care of toddlers and also doing random things like taking a car in for service, as well as pickup/dropoff of the kids for school and activities. My daughter has also had younger nannies and au pairs, but has found older more mature people are capable of a broader range of tasks.”