Teammates Go Around the Project Manager on Decisions
12 posts across 6 communities in the last 90 days; 50% from r/projectmanagement.
“TLDR; My colleague ("Todd") is stealing my projects without communicating and I need to report it to my boss but I have no time to talk to her without the risk of Todd overhearing my conversation due to our office's thin walls. How do I find a way to talk to her without Todd…”
“My only annoyance with this, and I'm very similar in approach, is that NOBODY reads Minutes - you can't change people”
“Ask your boss directly if it’s normal. Follow with email. If it continues to happen, email HR as a concerned employee, as it could be seen as a hostile work environment. The issue will be resolved.”
Several project managers are experiencing communication bypass, feeling excluded from important conversations and questioning their role within the team. This leads to frustration and a desire for direct confrontation or escalation to management.
SOURCES (25)
“I stopped doing “tasks” that came in as emails then when it was inevitably solved I just sent a reply to all with “You’re welcome.””
“TLDR; My colleague ("Todd") is stealing my projects without communicating and I need to report it to my boss but I have no time to talk to her without the risk of Todd overhearing my conversation due to our office's thin walls. How do I find a way to talk to her without Todd hearing? I work in a small office with thin walls. Problematic colleague ("Todd") never leaves the building other than to go to lunch. His work bestie also sits directly on the other side of our boss&”
“my last boss complained i wasn’t proactive but never replied to any messages i sent”
“Always trying to loop me in and will just stop their work on a thing until they get me involved. Headphones are helping a little bit.”
“That's me dude. I'm probably not your guy, but that's me for someone else I guess. Im sorry. I put more importance on all the things you pointed out. And hoped that would outweigh the unprofessional attendance. It's difficult for me to have to show up same time, every day. I know why we as a society have decided on this, but it doesn't work well for me. Would you mind sharing why you hated him? Maybe it would help me make a change if I could get an honest view from the other”
“It's hard to comment on this post without a bit more detail. Can you give us a rundown on what your project communication looks like in a typical day and week? Do you also do standup meetings or any other type of meeting where the team communicates project status?”
“Us spinning our wheels on an assignment was a waste of time. I meant that as in we should speak to our manager and work on other things while we wait. THEY GOT MAD AND AREN'T SPEAKING TO ME RN MWAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHHA how am I supposed to deal with this day to day if we're meant to be more than coworkers?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAJAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA It's about power it's about drive FreeNBAYoungboy! submitted by /u/EchoOfDoom [link] [comments]”
“Red flags: You saying you played multiple contradictory roles to a PM Saying someone has god complex and no social skills Having responsibility and no authority You pushing back on strategy “Winning” arguments Yea, I can see why you got let go”
“Maybe he knows she doesn’t want public praise, it makes some people uncomfortable”
“My only annoyance with this, and I'm very similar in approach, is that NOBODY reads Minutes - you can't change people”
“Boss’s favorite guy… wrote select queries on a large tables without limits, used ai to step on my toes and broke everything i did the last few months and reimplemented stuff i already did without asking me anything and caused collisions everywhere, then asks me to fix it, trying to act like he knows more about what i was working on without never even talking to me about it, i cleaned up the ai mess, didn’t bother starting fight over this. he thought this is a big project, and he can steal my tas”
“I made a huge blunder on an excel file. In my defense it was a new process. When one of the coworkers spotted it, the three of us had no idea who did that and even I didn't know. Eventually they found out via file history. I apologized and corrected everything and sent the updated file. I am already very embarrassed and on top of the coworkers with whom I had good relationship suddenly stopped talking to me and their tone became very professional. I admitted my mistake multiple times and eve”
“Oh those thisng make me very angry!!!! First, NO, you aren't overthinking! That's a pattern you are describing here: he talks directly to your male peers and routes everything about your projects through your boss. When something happens to everyone, it's culture. When it happens only to you, it's a choice!! I won't guess at his motives (because I would be rude all day long....) could be bias, could be some weird discomfort, could be an old assumption about hierarchy nobody e”
“Do you have peers this also happens to who report to your boss? Might be the boss telling others not to directly reach out to the team - happens when team members are routinely taken advantage of or when they want to get a sense for what someone is being asked to do. Might be that the individual has overstepped enough times that the mgr is trying to protect you. Or it might be any of the other things people here have said.”
“It is a lack of respect but the thing to do is not react. If you do then in his mind his actions will be justified. As long as your boss is working with you then just manage it slowly. Work with your boss to make sure that next time he comes to you and that message should come from your boss.”
“So we agree then. Talk to your boss first, figure out why, then if there is descrimination, talk to Hr.”
“Maybe he has a better relationship with her boss, why would you involve HR? Talk to your boss first. The boss is the acomplice here.”
“Um wow thank you for recognizing that - it feels validating to know it’s not completely due to my lack of experience in project management.”
“Putting your boss on the spot is crazy. You catch more flies with honey. There’s a more tactful way to handle this.”
“Ask your boss directly if it’s normal. Follow with email. If it continues to happen, email HR as a concerned employee, as it could be seen as a hostile work environment. The issue will be resolved.”
“Open up to your manager or boss about it and tell them how it is affecting your work. And no, you are not overthinking, I would have thought the same thing and quickly try to resolve it, especially if it affects my efficiency with work. That is too much hassle when communication is not direct.”
“I totally get it and you’ve been so helpful already. This is more than enough to get me started in the right direction to learn more and hopefully, over time, get better and succeed. We shall see lol but I’m gonna try my best because that’s better than giving up”
“PM mindset is to be direct. So, just ask the person directly. It'll put them on the spot to be honest if there is some issue. If they don't take the opportunity to come clean, it gives you the chance to tell them to please direct matters with your projects to you. Now the expectation is clearly known. I would not go to your boss first. They want to know you can handle the role. [Edit] And, after you've had that conversation with the avoidant lead, THEN go to your boss, update that yo”
“Ugh dude thank you for this! I think I already know that the answer to this is “No.” But, Do you think I should first send to my boss first so she can give input on it first? She said I should be assigning people roles at the start of any new program idea and that she can help me identify who the key person would be if I cant figure it out myself but that everything else should be handled without her”