Dads Feeling Overwhelmed by Parenting

“my wife and i have a newly 3 year old and things have not been good for my wife and I for the last 6 months or so. she recently went out of town for work for a week and i cant help but feel like she actively makes life harder. in our day to day my wife doesnt clean much or cook dinners. she also doesnt really like to soend solo time with our son. - in the 3 weeks before she left i cook 4 days a week and do dishes 4 days a week. In that time she has not done dishes nor made dinner. She goes on th”

“I’m the stepdad to a 2.5-year-old, who is with us every other week, and the dad to a 1-year-old. Lately, I’ve been feeling incredibly overwhelmed and burnt out trying to balance everything. I work from home while also handling the majority of the household responsibilities, including cooking, cleaning, dishes, laundry, and yard work, on top of caring for the kids before and after work. My partner works outside the home and has about a 75-minute daily commute. I love my family, but lately, I’ve r”

“I’m the stepdad to a 2.5-year-old, who is with us every other week, and the dad to a 1-year-old. Lately, I’ve been feeling incredibly overwhelmed and burnt out trying to balance everything. I work from home while also handling the majority of the household responsibilities, including cooking, cleaning, dishes, laundry, and yard work, on top of caring for the kids before and after work. My partner works outside the home and has about a 75-minute daily commute. I love my family, but lately, I’ve r”

“i don’t know what to say I just need to vent. I have two boys 3 & 6 months. I’m well aware I’m in the trenches. However I am also aware I am drowning. My relationship has been deteriorating to the point I’m now on the couch and not even being spoken to like a partner or a father. I love my partner more than anything (apart from my kids) I feel she has post partum but she will not accept that and is so defensive whenever I broach the subject. And goes on the offensive. Chastising every small”

“Hey dads, Not sure if I'm here for advice or I just need to vent. My two year old son has always been closer to his mother and I've been fine with that. She's always the one he wants to comfort him. He always wants to play with her more. He has fun during bath time with her and kinda just "gets through it" with me. He eats better with her etc.. I don't want to downplay what we do have. I play with him as much as possible. Lots of tickles and horseplay and funny faces. W”

“Need some advice from fellow dads. My wife gave birth to our first child in early July. We went through a rough period where our daughter wasn’t really gaining weight appropriately so my wife had to triple feed for a few weeks. During this time I was able to stay home and work from home thanks to my boss being understanding. If my wife wasn’t feeding the baby I had her to give her a break and allow her time to pump. I would give a bottle as needed to help supplement. The whole thing was pretty s”

“Hey fellow dads, Dad of two (5 and 7) here. Aside from work and family, I’m active in mountain search & rescue and love touring. For a long time, we had this recurring friction: I’d come home from training or a long day, notice the tense atmosphere, and ask the classic question: "Hey, what can I do to help?" I honestly thought I was being a supportive husband. It took me way too long to realize that asking that question still leaves 100% of the mental load on her. She doesn’t want”

“My kid is 19 months old. All he wants is Mom. If it’s just the two of us, he’s mostly okay. But anytime Mom is around, he gets upset when it’s anyone but her. Doing anything around him is getting to be a lot, because it’s destroying me. All I hear is “no no no no” and screaming when she hands him to me. Bed time is most just fits. This has to pass. It’s starting to cause stress in my marriage too, because she doesn’t seem very empathetic to how it’s making me feel. All I hear is “it’s a stage” “”

“My husband and I just got into a fight and I want some perspective. My husband is on paternity leave working on Saturday/Sunday for 10 hour days from 12pm-10pm. He’s with our two girls (6 months and 3.5) from the time they get up, usually around 9, until ~3:30-4:00 when I get home. Both of us agree that being home with them is easier than our jobs. I am a high school special ed teacher just starting a new school year and trying to manage pumping and students needs On Wednesday and Thursday night”

“Hey dads, I suspect this story isn't anything new, but I'm a bit lost on where to go and who I can talk to. It's been six beautiful months of new parenthood, but in a relatively short period of time, what was previously a seemingly very solid and happy relationship has deteriorated to the point where my partner says she wants to spend some time away from me. I'm keen to hear from people who've navigated relationship problems during early parenthood, particularly around divisi”

“I get alert and alarmed when my baby cry hysterically, I mean when her hands would froze in the air and she’ll let out a long cry before taking a breath and wail loudly. But somehow, my husband could tolerate that and continue with the tasks before picking her up. I cannot. It gets on my nerves when he doesn’t pause whatever he’s doing and pick her up to calm her down. When she make scream sounds for a long period of time before they turn into cries, he would read that as her exploring her vocal”

“So I became a first time biological dad with my girlfriend and my first baby a few months ago, while I’ve already been a step father to her three older kids for almost five years now. This is the first time I’ve ever raised and even taken care of a baby before and I feel like it’s been going well up until recently. A little backstory is my girlfriend had her maternity leave from two weeks before our baby was born up until last week when she went back to both school and work, while I was able to”

“I’m sure it’s just another phase like everything else but this one suuuuucks. My baby just in the last four days has decided he doesn’t want to be settled by his dad. He will cry uncontrollably until I pick him up and he settles almost immediately. He plays with him happily, it’s all fun and games until he decides he’s had enough or when it’s nap / bed time. It’s a high pitched crying, the one I can’t stand. Anyone go through this? Any tips? He’s 16 weeks old submitted by /u/Resident”

“Hello fellow dads, i am a father of a 6MO and currently taking paternal leave. The pregnancy was a very difficult time for us, due to several medical issues as well as private ones. I was at the brink of a burnout 1 year ago. In the end our beautiful son was born without complications in March and since the beginning of July I am at parental leave as my wife started to work a new Job. I am still recovering mentally from all the stress I had the last years, but find myself in a situation where I”

“I have a weird issue. My LO is now a 3 year old toddler and she’s going through the big feelings stage. Ever since she was born, my husband has been complaining how she’s the most difficult child he’s ever seen, other kids her age are not like this, she has too many tantrums etc. (Btw she goes to daycare since she was 1 year old and all her daycare teachers agree that she’s absolutely normal and all kids have this big feelings phase. Her doctor is also happy with her development. ) I feel some o”

“My baby is 2 months old, and I’m struggling with something regarding my husband. My husband was always pretty indifferent about having children. He could have gone either way, but we ultimately had a baby because having children was really important to me. I want to be fair to him: he helps a lot. He does feedings, changes diapers, helps with the baby, and helps around the house. He’s definitely not an absent or useless partner. The part I’m struggling with is that he doesn’t seem emotionally at”

“hey dads - sorry for the long story, just having the shittiest time and need to vent/would love to hear if anyone has a shared experience so i can feel less alone. my wife and i have two children - age 3 and 8 months. during our first child, my wife had moderate post-natal rage for almost the entire first year of my daughters life. it was really quite hard and was a huge hill for me to get over when my wife suggested we started trying for a second. we had had a good period for about a year thoug”

“My daughter is 4 weeks old today and I’m really struggling. I love her, but I don’t feel the bond that I thought I would. I feel awful admitting that. She cries constantly. We’ve tried everything we can think of. She’s fed, changed, burped, read to, cuddled, rocked, walked around with, put down, picked back up. We’ve tried Infacol because we think it might be wind. Sometimes nothing seems to make any difference and she just screams. We’re getting no more than about 90 minutes of sleep at a time”

“basically title. Our 6w baby is EBF and I’m SAHM. Her and I spend every waking minute together until he comes home from work and then he takes over for a couple hours before bed so I can cook, shower, etc. Well last night during my shower she was exceptionally fussy with him. And it really seemed to get to him. He texted me while I was in the shower saying it sucks that she doesn’t seem to want anything to do with him. I explained to him after that she is so little she doesn’t know she’s not a p”

“Hi daddit, I think I am in need of venting and support. I consider myself a rather structured and tidy person who wants my wife and child the best, and I go lengths to make them happy. But ever since my wife got pregnant up to today, two years later, I have felt that she gets frustrated by me, and that I am never enough for her. My cooking is always faulty in some way, too salty, too spicy, too few vegetables served as sides, too wasteful of vegetables served as sides and so on. I consider mysel”

“I’m a 32-year-old father with a young child, and I’m currently struggling quite a lot with my relationship. I’m not necessarily looking for someone to tell me who is “right” or “wrong. I think I mostly need some outside perspective, solidarity, or advice from people who have been through something similar. My partner and I have been together for several years and have a young child. Since becoming parents, our relationship has changed considerably. We both love our child deeply, but everyday lif”

“Hello, M24, my little one is 2 months old. I already felt a little “distant” from my friends before because I'm a person really focused on the future, working a lot on my skills, preparing for my move abroad and having a wife older than me influences me a little too. My friends (tbh I "only" have 3 friends) are still studying and thinking about games etc and it's perfectly fine, I love video games too, I also scroll on X, share memes etc but I see them get worked up over nothin”

“My daughter is 2.5 and I’ve been her primary caregiver, essentially alone, her whole life. Her dad is now much more involved and she’s suddenly all about Daddy. He doesn’t work and lives with his parents. His mother does all the cooking/cleaning and much of the household work, and he can be quite rude to her. They’re also extremely permissive with my daughter... lots of TV, snacks, treats and buying things, very few limits. I’m the one doing routines, healthy food, bedtime and boundaries. We’re”

“I recently took a full time in office job from 7am-4pm which doesn’t allow me to have mornings with my son. I am not able to take him to daycare or pick him up. Ever since, my husband has been super moody and stressed out and I don’t know how to help him. Has this happened to anyone before? I am trying to help him without stretching myself too thin, but I feel like taking this in office job was a mistake. Edit to add: my new commute is about an hour, so I can’t make it on time to pick up the bab”

“My husband and baby are awesome. She’s 1 month today. But I can’t leave her with him for more than a minute without stressing both of them out. I knew she would need to be with me mostly but it’s way more dramatic than I thought. If she’s almost a sleep or sleeping and not hungry she’ll tolerate him or fall asleep on him. But active wake times? No way. submitted by /u/broken-bread [link] [comments]”

“First time dad here. I’ve been having a very hard time with my relationship the past month. I’ve been very sleep deprived, irritated, & it’s been a lot of bickering with only me being the source of it. I help when i can and make sure my fiancé gets enough rest. Me on the other hand, I barely get any rest. Through out the night I stay up so whenever the baby wakes up, I can take care of him. (I work night shift btw) Fiancé gets all of her sleep until 7am when I’m about to crash. Mind you I’m”

“I need feedback from other dads as I am losing my patience and I am feeling like no matter what I do I am falling short and my relationship w/ my wife is going through the drain. Context: LO is 1.5 y.o and just started daycare. I work from home but my job demands me to be online and in calls early in the morning ~ 8 - 9 which causes that we need to rush the mornings but I am also responsible for breakfast, prepping all and giving time to my wife to get ready. Her job is not as strict as mine as”

“Does anyone else feel anxiety over their partner feeling stressed? It’s not like I am fearful of anything bad happening. But when I can tell my partner is getting frustrated with the baby crying I get nauseous and anxious. I’d rather just take the baby myself and deal with it even if I’m tired. I don’t know why I feel this way. The internet seems to think it’s a fight or flight response to the baby crying and my partner being stressed? Does anyone else feel like this? How do you cope? I know I s”

“Hi fellow dads. I'm a new dad to a 5-month-old girl in Japan. Lately, I’ve been feeling really anxious about my parenting style. I grew up with parents who were very negative and often yelled. I am terrified of repeating the same mistakes and treating my beautiful daughter the same way. To prevent this, I go to counseling once a month. My therapist and I talk a lot about my fears, but honestly, I haven't found a clear "answer" yet. I just believe that putting my fears into word”

“Like the title says, out of nowhere my daughter started to absolutely lose it with me (Dad) at night. It started maybe a few weeks ago, I’ll sit her on my lap as I’ve always done in bed and attempted to give her the bottle as it’s the last feed of the night she’ll start drinking perfectly fine, then all of a sudden start lightly crying before she has an absolute melt down. The more I try and soothe the more she loses it, only thing that works is the “colic hold” she settle, and the minute I do a”

“Don’t know whether this is a rant or I need advice. First time dad to a now girl toddler. Super hands on, there every single morning and most nights (depending on work and socials - even then I try and go out when shes gone to bed or at least get bedtime routine ready). Energetic child who is also bossy/knows what she wants - typical terrible 2s. But in order to create balance, I try and set boundaries, say no and give reasons but obviously she’s only a toddler. But my partner doesn’t affirm my”

“My wife and I had our first child 5 months ago. He was born with some health issues that made the first few months really difficult. The first 8 weeks our son would only contact Mai and slept on average only 8 hours a day. His hormone production was deregulated and it caused a lot of issues. My dad was a great dad. He coached my little league team, was very present and extremely patient. However, he just seems completely oblivious to how hard it is to care for a newborn and it’s getting to me. M”

“First time dad to a beautiful baby girl that just turned 3 months on Tuesday. I know all babies are different and learn at different stages but these milestones have me STRESSED out. I feel like she used to roll on her side and now she doesn’t really anymore, which again in turn means she isn’t rolling. She smiles and will babble and has begun swatting at toys with her arms and when we read books she hits her hands against the pages which I think is good…but are her hand movements suppose to sti”

“The last few days have been weird. My daughter has seemingly decided she doesn't like me anymore? I'm not taking it personal. We've been here before. For the first month and a half, she couldn't stand to be anywhere other than with mom. But since then, she has actually been very loving and affectionate towards me. She always gave me big smiles and giggles. If she was upset about something, I was able to soother her fairly easily. She loved when I sang to her and would generally j”

“Hi dads, I've been reading this subreddit for a while, but this is my first time posting. I could really use some perspective from other fathers who may have gone through something similar. I'm a first-time dad to a beautiful little boy who is almost 3 months old. Becoming his father has been the greatest privilege of my life, and despite everything that's happened, he is my biggest motivation to keep going. Unfortunately, my marriage has reached breaking point. The pregnancy was unp”

“Hi there, I (21f) am with my partner (21m), and we have a beautiful 3 month old baby daughter. We are so in love with her and are very much loving life as new parents. However - my partner is struggling, massively. He’s super stressed out all the time. Largely to do with financial issues. But also mainly because he’s struggling to bond with her. She just cries whenever she’s with him, he can’t get her to sleep, she refuses bottles from him. He just wants to help out but she only wants me at the”

“I’m excited to be a new Dad but I’m really dreaded the idea of staying with the mother . I’m fully committed to my child and being supportive during this time but things haven’t been working out for a while . I wanted to break up months ago but she begged me to stay and I gave her another chance . I regret not getting away when I could. She’s not a terrible person it’s just a deep incompatibility. Has anyone been in this position ? I’m not sure how to handle it and could use some advice. What ma”

“Reddit dads…. looking for some reassurance. My daughter is coming up up to ten weeks old and my god, my relationship with my other half is in bits. she absolutely despises me. if I make any comment about my daughters feeding or the noises she makes (squirming, whinging) I am told I’m making her out to be a bad mum. if I ask for a couple of minutes to settle the baby down i‘m told she wants the breast and that’s my slot over with. if I take baby outside of the house for a walk I'm criticised.”

“I’m going to try really hard not to make this too long or a self pity post. I just really don’t know who to turn to right now, so why not the internet. Thats never a bad idea. I’m in my 30s, father of 4 under 6yo. I love my children and I LIKE my children. I’m not here to post about how much I can’t stand my life as a dad or how my kids make me so angry. My kids are awesome. I genuinely love my kids and my wife and my life is really good. I have a great job and feel purposeful. So that’s my conf”

“We are 2.5 months in and it still feels like my husband is uncomfortable with the baby and not bonding like I expected him to. It also feels like he is in disbelief that we actually have a kid now. Even though he has been wanting to be a father since I met him! Wondering if anyone else went through this, any advice on how I can help him? I feel like at this point I just need to lower my expectations and remind myself that our experiences with this season of life are just very different. su”

“I’m just became a father and my baby is now 4 months old. I love him more than anything in the world but there are currently so many challenges beyond the regular baby stuff. I’m in a severely toxic workplace with a manager that threatens to reduce my hours for raising legitimate workplace concerns. I’m living in a tiny apartment which we own and we are now feeling the pressure to sell up and rent a place before he starts walking around. We need to find a home as soon as possible which means the”

“Hello fellow parents! I have a 19m old son and am 1.5 weeks post partum with our newborn baby boy! My toddler since about 12m has been a dadas boy, over the past few months my husband has done most of the bedtime routine and mornings given my pregnancy, our schedules, etc. Lately my son’s preference for my husband has gotten so extreme, my toddler will have a tantrum if I try and do bedtime. If we are all in his room and I try and read him a book, he refuses and brings the book to dada and melts”

“Never thought I’ll come to this point but here I am. I’m sure it’s because my husband is reliant on me when it comes to caring for baby. I know he is trying and maybe he just don’t know how else to comfort baby because baby just won’t stop crying when he is on night shift. We do alternate night shift so that one of us get a good night sleep. But obviously it doesn’t work on me because when he’s on the night shift, I end up getting woken up by baby’s crying most of the nights. So yes, I’m sleep d”

“Maybe once or twice month i lose my mind at my now 3 year old and always feel like shit after. Obviously its an emotional regulation thing and yes i am working on it. Usually it happens when i'm annoyed at my wife for whatever reason and sadly that leads to me having slightly less patience for the annoying but normal shit my 3 year old does. of note, i just raise my voice and maybe redirect with a slightly firmer grip than i should have, but nothing more physical, not so hard that its hurtin”

“Hi Daddit, posting here hoping to get a ‘dad perspective’ to my husbands Postnatal Anxiety. Backstory he’s a firefighter and has PTSD from bad cases with kids. I’m a SAHM, he works full time. Also, both of his parents were sexually abused as children. He’s been experiencing severe anxiety basically since we found out we’re having a girl about protecting her from everyone. He changes diapers, helps with baths, etc. but he’s very worried about hurting her and it makes him think about terrible thin”

“Not sure if I need to vent or if I need advice. My son is 3 months old, and these have been the hardest 3 months. My wife and I lived a great life before becoming pregnant, but after a rough pregnancy with IUGR, a NICU stay, and learning how to be parents has turned things upside down…for me. My wife is an incredible mother, she loves every second she gets to spend with our son through the sleepless nights, continuous crying and needs. Watching her become a mother has only made me love her more.”

“Fellow dads I am at my wits end here. Father of 2 (6yo M, 3yo F). Son is off at Grandma's house for a couple of weeks in between camps so it's just me, the Mrs and the missy. For the last week or so she had been particularly nasty. Between the kicking, screaming and demanding that only Momma can do anything my wife and I are losing it. I don't like yelling at my kids I really don't. But it's gotten to the point where any of my calming strategies are just not working to get he”

“I have a daughter who turns 2 next week and for basically her whole life so far, I feel like a passive observer. That sounds worse than it actually is. I’m a present and active father and partner right along side my wife, but it feels like my daughter just sees me as someone who lives with her favorite person—mama. My wife does more for our daughter without a doubt in my mind but it’s not for my lack of trying. It was easier when she was a newborn from the standpoint that she really couldn’t tel”

“Hello fellow dads I've been having a tough time since becoming a dad 7 months ago and I've found myself constantly stressed and worried about my daughter. It usually revolves around her napping and sleeping. She's a very good sleeper and only wakes up once a night which my wife deals with since she's breastfed, but for some reason if she doesn't nap or takes ages to go to sleep I start panicking and worrying. We've just come back off our first family holiday and oh boy th”

“Father of an almost 3year old daughter and man I just can’t with the temper tantrums. I had to send my teenage son to take her to the park cause I can barely keep my temper in check. It feels like everything is a struggle right now. I’m freaking tired. And I hate that I had to get my kids out of my house on Father’s Day cause I was about to loose it. Now I am trying to hold back tears of frustration mostly at myself for now managing the stress better. I’m just tired y’all submitted by &#32”

“As title states. My wife is currently 20 weeks and she mentions things i'm failing to do emotionally and i'm confused (and she even admitted "i don't know what i want either"). Basically as most of you know at 20 weeks is going to be a anatomy scan to ensure the baby is progressing well and everything looks viable. I'm not worried about this at all, and i'm positive. My wife is worried that the baby could be missing organs, not growing, and a list of other things th”

“Hey dads, I'm 33M with a high-pressure office job. Our daughter is almost 5 months old. Wife is on maternity leave. The understanding was she handles most of the day, and I take over as much as possible in the evenings and weekends. Reality: I've completely quit the gym, have zero time for myself (even basic stuff like grocery runs feels impossible), and the house stays messy no matter what I clean (major cleaning being on Saturday). The one single thing I had left was Friday evening foo”

“I'm 28M, my partner is 28F, and we've been together for 10 years. We wanted a baby, and finally, a month ago, our son was born. Unfortunately, I have to admit it was quite traumatic. My wife went through a major postpartum crisis, and it was mostly due to the blood pressure pills she had to take in the last week. I'm really scared, from not being able to pursue my hobbies to drifting apart from my partner. Plus, the sleep deprivation is really crazy right now. submitted by &#32”

“FTM and I am 2 months PP. Lately I have noticed my husband become less helpful with baby and distanced from me. He honestly doesn’t talk to me unless he has :( I don’t know why the sudden the change. When we first brought our baby home, he told me he never been happier and he was helping sooo much I thought I was being lazy. Even my family noticed the difference in him. Fast forward to today, it’s quite the opposite. He WFHs and has returned to work so I have taken on a lot more, sometimes more”

“My wife has been out of town for a few days and I swear the evenings are twice as long when you’re solo. Last night I was already cooked before 7. Dinner took forever, toys everywhere, and my daughter suddenly decided she needed water from a different cup. Same water, kid. Same water. Then she grabbed her drawing board and jumbo crayons and asked me to draw with her. I almost said no because I was tired and didn’t want to start another thing, but it was just a board and crayons, so whatever, I s”

“Title pretty much says it all. My son is 2.5 and a huge mama's boy. My wife is currently 23 weeks pregnant, so we're trying to get him more comfortable not having mom available on demand before the baby gets here. I've been handling bedtime and bath time for quite a while now, and honestly those both go smoother with me than they used to with my wife. For the last year or so, I've made it a habit to take my son out of the house to give my wife a break. Sometimes we'll go for”

“I’ve read a bit that this is fairly common, but I just wanted somewhere to vent it to. She’s near the end of the first trimester. The last 4 weeks, she has wanted basically nothing to do with me. She won’t talk to me when we’re together. I come home from work, she doesn’t say anything. She sits on her phone. I maybe get a “hi”. She won’t text me or respond to my texts when I’m at work. If I do manage to converse with her, she’s angry. I can’t even ask a simple question like “when do you work tom”

“I am in the middle of 4 sizable house projects right now… Left my toolbox out by mistake, had to snatch my hammer from him as he was about to hit our sliding glass door with it. Absolute meltdown ensued. submitted by /u/Cautious-Set471 [link] [comments]”