Friends keep asking for money, leaving people feeling exploited

“Yep. People try and help people. Then someone fucks it up for others. So until that dude pays me back the $200 he owes that I lent him in August. No one else gets help. Its simple as that. He is holding up help for others. [re: Help! I have an unexpected payment this fri and I'm screwed! Lose my car then my job.... No job no home...any "advice" ! Living in Canada!!!!! Pls help]”

“You're spot on. When friends buy it, part of it is just them being nice, but a total stranger pulling out their wallet... that actually means the thing works. Thanks for saying it, honestly it makes the whole grind of building solo feel worth it. [re: First 62 bucks! My expense tracker just got its first lifetime purchase]”

“In response to edit number 2: I think it would genuinely shock people to realise how many times I get asked for money and NO ONE knows my financial status (other than my husband) and no one knows his. We are very low profile on social media, rarely post, and we don't talk money with friends...and our home is super modest (clean and neat, but modest) in a very modest neighborhood. The only thing anyone really knows is that our kid went to college and just graduated. I finally asked AI overvie”

“If you could stomach asking to borrow money, you can stomach telling her you are going to be late paying her back. It's entirely likely this will end your friendship. this is one of many reasons why you don't loan or borrow from friends or family. Ancient wisdom that the borrower is a slave to the lender. [re: So stupid]”

“I'm not asking for money. I'm asking for advice. Who in their right mind would just start begging for cash from random strangers on the internet?”

Tell them " look it up"

“That makes sense and I wish you the best. I’ve never lended a stranger money, I did one time send a stranger money. This was about seven years ago, before social media was rampant with scammers and bots. It was on a TikTok post from someone who was very privileged, and there was a comment from a mother wishing she could even give her kids half of what this person had. I looked at her page and she looked very humble. I offered to Venmo her for dinner that night, and she was so gracious. But that”

“Yeah, I guess not alot of people around me talks about money. Since I knew about it, I can understand why they don’t want to talk about it. The only friends I’ve talked about money are usually the ones I can converse with about investing, and I guess the ones that waste their money are much more focused on what they can buy next, and when that conversation comes up, I usually just answer with “oh cool it looks good” 😅 But it’s crazy to see that now I see half of my friends growing in consumer d”

“This is just fascinating. Maybe I'm just out of touch, but I just can't imagine having friends like this I feel obnoxious saying that of course (since I'm sure they're otherwise nice people) but some people just have a different mental model of money, and not in a good way at all It's like those YouTube videos when they interview some rando on the street about their finances or debt, and they're casually like "yea my plan is to just put stuff on my credit card and th”

Wow, I hope these people are no longer your friends.

“Never lend money. They don't have money to begin with or they wouldn't be asking for it. So expecting to get something back after throwing into a fire just doesn't make sense. If a friend is in need for like gas money or groceries, then meet at a gas station and pump it or take them grocery shopping. Never give people money.”

“Not to quote Shakespeare but a quote I really like is “Neither a borrower nor a lender be For a loan oft loses both itself and a friend And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.” Essentially, if you loan money to a friend you might lose the money you loaned and the friendship. My rule of thumb? I don’t loan, I gift. I only give my friends what I am willing to lose, and if they insist on paying it back I ask them to pay it forward or donate it to charity. That helps set the limits of what I can”

“If she gets caught, it won't matter if its cash or not. And it sounds like some family members of both her and op would know thats where she is getting money. I could see one of them turning her in if some animosity occurred.”

“Im helping a friend move and mount shelves/tv, build bed etc and she said she would pay me but i feel bad for accepting money from her cause we’re close friends”

Guy or girl

“My friend drives Uber full time he’s broke and never wants to hang out because he says he’s always driving Uber. last weekend I asked if he wanted to hang out and he goes I can’t I’m working and am broke and need the money. I offered him a job at the company I work at and he declined it… An easy $25 an hour starting pay job with .80 cent raise every 6 months WITH a COLA (cost of living adjustment) raise every January last January it was about 3% raise). you just need to show up everyday. Job max”

“Person B isn’t a victim of anything but their own greed and stupidity. “Hey let me run a bunch of money through your bank account, and I’ll let you keep a couple thousand.””

“This. Not to mention, trusting someone else to hold your money when it's not yet due to them and you might need is just begging the universe for trouble.”

“I hate to be that guy, but are you 100% sure he’s your fiancé and she’s just his sister? I only question it because it’s a common scam to have people send money for things like this. I mean if you met him in college or something and he moved back home, sorry for being presumptive, but I’ve worked in banking fraud too long to be trusting.”

“that’s a very understandable concern, but i’d assume the ring and other gifts she’s bought could be sold at some point to recoup at least some of the money. the biggest concern is if she continues this way/falls deeper into the fantasy. i totally understand how difficult it is for her (i’ve been told i have autism but not formally diagnosed), it took me years to learn how to be even semi-social, but learning how to grow those connections in real life will be invaluable to her and (hopefully) bri”

“No, when you help them with money youre being irresponsible. And I know you have never lent them money otherwise you would have preface thar in your previous comment. I will lend money to a friend exactly once, and even then I consider that money gone. If they offer to repay it then I say thanks and tell them to save it just in case they need it in the future. If they start to avoid me because of their debt, then thats money well spent so I dont have friends like you hanging around asking for mo”

“So when I helped them with money I'm a good friend? And when I ask that favor in return I'm an asshole? Brother you sound exactly like those friends.”

“What the fuck? Im so glad these people aren't your friend anymore. You sound like a selfish asshole. Since when is it their responsibility to give you money? We are all running the same race and they have bills to pay too. Just because they appear to be doing better than you dosent mean they are.”

“Hey Reddit should I kick my friend when they are already down on the ground?”

Creep. Willing to sell out your friend for $20

And you lose a friend in the process

Stealing is worse

$100 is not worth nuking a relationship

“Im mot a real friend. They are a business acquaintance. I gave the cards to a mother who's teen is in the hospital. She needed a pick me up”

“Gosh there are so many sociopaths in the comments, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised when we live in a culture of profit over people rather than community helping each other. OP you could just wait until they're doing better? Hell you could even refer people to the location if you like their goods. Or even ask them if they're ok with giving out the gift card to others (who could become regulars). Usually best if the value is lower though imo”

“Buy 500 worth of goods and use your 100 gift card it'll make you feel better and help her at the same time. Then give what you bought to your family, colleagues or homeless people. There! Problem solved! 😂 One day when her businees blooms, you'll be the first person she remembers.”

Bruh?

“The underlying issue I see here is when you said “ someone asked for something I just give it to them. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t logically make sense.” like you feel some weird obligation to give everybody everything all the time or you need to lie or what? Because if that’s the case, you have an issue with boundaries, and I would dig deep into that with a shadow work journey”

“She already has your $100, using them doesn't cost her anything extra. I'd use them and tip cash”

“I would not start giving out money to people because when they realize it won't be a one time thing. They'll come back. It's a good way to destroy relationships”

“Well yeah they are complete assholes always asking for money never paying back and when they are high they always yell at me and they are very mentally abusive when they are high but when they are sober they are pretty good friends”

“Hey. We absolutely do not allow the desperate people who come here for help to be asked for money. It's absolutely against our rules, and our community feels it's about the same as harassing a family at a soup kitchen for money. I'm sure you understand. Please remove this post immediately and read the rules of this community. For everyone reading: Do not send money to this user . If they did not remove this post you can be assured this is a scam and the entire story was written by AI”

“Why are you on here in that case? I've had multiple this week already and I just don't see why they are bothering talking then. Are they expecting me to feel bad and give them it for free instead? It's so frustrating and annoying submitted by /u/lizzytranns [link] [comments]”

“No offense but cut off the sister completely except for actually buying your nieces and nephews things they actually have to have. Your sister is going to continue with asking you for help with money until you make it a priority for you to stop enabling her. You should stand up for yourself and tell them no. You're not an ATM machine or a bank. I'd never just give her money anyhow, if they need groceries or school supplies then gift cards and don't do it repeatedly because that's”

“Hey OP, I would like to talk to you from the other side of that conversation because I was previously like your sister in many ways many years ago. Firstly, she isn’t going to stop asking for money until she is cut off completely. I know you’re very short on time but maybe sit down with both her and her husband and explain no more. As for you, I love that you’re pouring everything you have into your company but if you don’t work on your work/life balance something is going to give. It sounds lik”

“😂 Honestly, if she is constantly asking for money, a fixed allowance with clear boundaries might actually be less stressful for everyone. At least then everyone knows what to expect instead of having the same conversation over and over.”

“My brother asked me for money once. I told him to go to a bank if he needs a loan. When my other brother tried the same, I just laughed in his face. That concluded the topic with them, and they never asked again.”

“Rule #31198 Don't lend what you can't afford to lose. Friendships end over candy bar money. She's established a pattern of asking for/ accepting money from you. If you let it continue, of course she'd be comfortable asking for more. Say you can't. Say money is tight and you aren't able to help. DO NOT let her guilt trip you into giving it or start offering her rides. Your feiend will continue to see you as a financial resource as long as you keep letting her. She and her”

“If she’s not asking you for money, it’s someone else Her issues are not your concern & I wouldn’t even call that a friend”

“Girl what, you don’t need to show your friends bank statements?? Ever! Never mind to justify not being able to gift them money for stupid shit (and financing a car you can’t afford IS STUPID SHIT) Keep your money, pay your loans. If she doesn’t want to be your friend because you don’t finance her life, she was never your friend”

“I was going to say give her a loan with interest, and then I heard "car payment." This person is clearly terrible with money, car payments because you cannot risk being without a car shows that they're willing to go into more debt just to make life comfortable. My wife lost her car and we went without a car for a while taking the bus. If you live in a town with work real far away, someone should consider working closer for cheaper if it means $500 less a month in car payments ($500”

“No. is a complete sentence. She can’t afford to pay her other lenders why would she be able to pay you back?”

“That is her issue not yours. You cannot help her, she’s an adult, should’ve gotten old car, instead she chosen a car which payments she can’t keep up with. Choices have consequences.”

That's no friend, that's a fiend

“Get in a text how much shes borrowed so far, and you cant give more money because she owes you however much. Keep that in case you need to bring her to small claims court.”

Tell her you don't have it

“car payment asking for $600 i drive an old shitbox i fix myself and i thoroughly believe anyone on a budget should do so for the same reason, OP you don’t owe her shit, you’re already in your OWN debt!!!”

“Recently blocked a guy for this, he always had money for weed and DoorDash but not for an uber? Get outta here lol”

“How does she know you have a savings? You never tell anyone about your finances.”

“Hey y'all. I (25F) am trying to be good with my money by having savings and try to pay off my car loan (10k) and student loans (47k). I have a small amount of savings (7k) and I think my friend is asking me for money. She got into a car accident and I gifted her $300 to help her out since her car was totaled...now with her new car she's only had it for like 3-4 months and she's already asking me for $600 because she cant keep up with her car payment. I'd hate to see her car get r”