Wedding planners struggle with mothers-in-law sharing opinions

“I want to preface my questions with this: I am 60, I know old wedding planning etiquette, and this is my son's first wedding, and A, I don't want to be "that" mother inlaw, and B, my new daughter in law, doesn't have family, also, although she's been married before, she's never had a "real" wedding and is asking me questions, which is why I'm here. •Bridesmaids & Groomsmen: My son has a groomsman who is a great guy. The problem is his girlfriend. S”

“Hi I need help on how I can make this veil better, I was sorta pushed into purchasing it by my mother and the bridal stylist (don’t worry my mom paid). I plan to wear my hair in a low bun slicked back and I was envisioning myself in a mantilla or Juliet veil. And I thought this veil was a great combo of the two. I know someone who can maybe fix it or create a new veil from the appliqués but I really don’t know what I dislike about this veil. Maybe I need less drama? Any advice will help. I think”

“Ideally, they would give you a blank check, don't invite their own guests, and don't give unsolicited opinions, let you nhar full control, but I have never seen this happen. My parents paid for my wedding in full, but my mom had final say in all my decisions and all of my parents friends were invited. I sometimes have regrets, but at the same time, I felt a lot less pressure to have a perfect day and didn't find myself minding mishaps the same way I would if I was paying for it. &#32”

“My wedding is this Saturday, and I’m getting increasingly frustrated with my mom’s communication style around wedding planning. We’ve gone over the wedding timeline and outfit changes multiple times. I’ve also sent out the finalized timeline so everyone knows what to expect. Tonight, when I reviewed the plan with my mom, she started suggesting that I wear a different dress at a different time so that some of her friends who couldn’t attend the church ceremony would get to see it. I told her no,”

“We just started wedding planning, having gotten engaged in the last month. My mom made a classic mistake of asking if my crazy uncle is invited (after he freaked out at a No Doubt concert because Gwen Stephani had all the guys chant 'i'm just a girl', on account of him being 'a man and shouldn't have to say that''), the answer is unequivocally no. We have a few very liberal friends who would trigger him into combusting. Both my partner and I aren't in contact with”

“TL;DR: for anyone dealing with a difficult MIL, how do I keep her from ruining more moments in this process? My fiancé (29M) and I (29F) have been together for 7+ years and got engaged last September. Before our engagement, I had a genuinely great relationship with his mom. I’m Indian and my fiancé is Jewish, though neither of us is particularly religious. We’re planning a blended ceremony that represents both cultures. We booked our dream venue for a Saturday in October 2027 because that was th”

“Im getting married in a few months and starting to think through logistics of the morning of the wedding. Im curious to know how many people were in your getting ready suite. I'll have my mom, fiancé's mom and grandma, sister (MOH) and four other bridesmaids. Im thinking of inviting the partners of the groomsmen since I am all friends of them (this would be 4 extra people, including my future sister in law). My sister is also bringing a friend as her plus one and im thinking of inviting”

“We placed our order for florals a while ago and the wedding is 3 weeks away, but my MIL is now mentioning that she wants a corsage. My mom hates the idea of it. Would it be weird if only one mom is wearing one? submitted by /u/ssrxo [link] [comments]”

“My wedding venue has a capacity limit of 60 people. For my big Indian family that may as well be a hate crime. I had to cut out A LOT of people, and only invited the people we are closest to. Unfortunately my aunts boyfriend didn't make the cut and she is upset. I understand she may not attend if he's not invited and that's fine with me. What I'm not fine with is starting family drama about this. I personally would understand if someone didn't invite my partner because they d”

“Here's mine: I never thought my parents or future in-laws would be as invasive and demanding as they've been since we started planning the wedding. They have something to say about literally everything...the venue, food, decor, DJ, etc., but won’t actually offer any help to find better options. Let's not forget how they're upset we didn't invite THEIR friends and family members who we haven't seen in years, some of whom we haven't seen since we were kids. Just complai”

“My husband and I got married a couple weeks ago and it was great! Exactly what we wanted. However my MIL wants to host a second reception as a casual open house at her house for the people who couldn’t come to the actual reception we hosted I guess. I think it seems a bit weird, but it‘s whatever. We agreed basically on the condition that we weren’t going to plan or pay for it. However I’m not sure how I should treat it in terms of what to wear. I could rewear my wedding dress or my prewedding d”

“I was planning to have a head table for us and my bridal party. My MOH mom is attending the wedding, she was a huge part of my life for 12 years. Her mom won’t know anyone at my wedding so i know seating will be awkward but the bridal party gets split from their plus ones in my experience. She told me her mom wont go if they cant sit near each other. So now i decided to have my 3 bridesmaids at my head table and seat my MOH and her mom at a separate close by table with other guests. I am trying”

“Update: I appreciate all the feedback and different perspectives 💛 I’ll probably just not say anything and she’ll wear the dress. I’m choosing to believe she asked to check in/because she feels beautiful and confident in it! If it’s still bothering me in a week or two, I’ll take my fiancé up on his offer to chat with her. Thanks! - Hi all - as the title suggests, I’m hoping to get some advice/feedback from folks. My fiancé and I have been together for 7 years, and are getting married in the spr”

“My (32f) mom paid for about 70% of the wedding and I’ve let her have pretty much free rein the whole time. She wanted this photographer, that venue, to invite these people, etc. She vetoed all of my bridal shower desires and wound up throwing the most humiliating party I’ve ever been to (booked a huge venue, against my wishes, and forgot to invite my friends so only two tables out of five were full and it was just my moms friends and sisters). My mom is getting up there in age and has been makin”

“First time poster after months of lurking here. My wedding is rapidly approaching (about 2 months away) and by far the most stressful part has been dealing with my mother. This is a cultural fusion wedding with multiple days of celebrations. I’m also an only child so I’m sure that contributes. Before this, I had a fine relationship with my mom. She is supportive and loves my partner and I’m forever thankful for that. Here’s where it gets sticky. My parents are contributing financially (though by”

“Hi all, I’m wondering if anyone else is going thru the wedding planning process having lost their mom, or being estranged etc. My mom died a decade ago, but the planning and specifically the idea of dress shopping is bringing up a ton for me. I feel like all the parts of planning and finding a dress that should be fun and exciting are just sad. It’s really tough knowing that the person who would be most excited isn’t here, and not wanting to ask anyone else to fill in in those moments because 1)”

“I (36F) am getting married down the cape next summer. We were looking for MOB dresses, and I and the sales woman said my mom’s dress should be long- at least midi length. I then say ‘yes, family should be looking elegant in long dresses, the highest it should be raised is mid-calf’. My sister (50 YEARS OLD) says her dress will be to her knees, that she’s going to wear what she wants (verbatim). I said ‘Well, you’re gonna look stupid’ and later I said ‘What are you 10 years old? Nobody wears dres”

“Getting married this Winter. Thrifted my bridal dress. Only tried on four (point is, I'm chill). My wedding "color palette" is versatile and several of the colors were once my mom's "favorite colors" or "my (her) colors." Anyway, she has Factitious disorder (previously called Münchausen syndrome.) Everything is like this. Especially when it's someone in our family's special day. It's always an inconvenience for her. Nothing is ever perfect. There”

“My mother has made my entire wedding planning a nightmare. To start this off I wanted to get married privately in a nice destination, my and my fiancé agreed on this. But here comes my mom telling me if I wanted to have a private wedding that she would have to fly to where we were going. SO we started looking at venues. She was helping me pay for the venue. Every choice along the way came with criticism, but I didn’t see it like this at first, I should’ve though! We chose a venue at a historic h”

“I’m getting married in about 1.5 months and need advice about my mom and my little sister, who is my maid of honour. We’re having a formal wedding in Europe. The dress code on the invitation is dark suit/tuxedo. My mom: She refuses to wear a floor-length dress and wants a short one instead. She says she is too short for a long dress (she is only slightly shorter than me). I haven’t asked for a specific colour or style, just a formal floor-length dress. I have a good relationship with her, but sh”

“I’m getting married and I’m trying to figure out what the etiquette is when it comes to the mother of the groom and hair/makeup. I’m not having a traditional bridal party, so there really isn’t a group of bridesmaids getting professional hair and makeup done. My current plan is to pay for hair and makeup for my mom and myself. Cost is a pretty significant consideration for me, so I was never planning on paying for a large group of people to have services done. I’m also keeping the actual getting”

“I want to preface by saying I have been trying to be super chill about wedding attire and I have a bridezilla in my life who I swore I would never be like. All we asked is that people make an attempt to meet the dress code which we chose semi formal. We stated it was flexible and anything from dressy casual to cocktail was ok. Unfortunately my mom is a really casual woman and keeps asking me if she can wear outfits that look horrid like sweatpants level formality. I really don’t want to be mean”

“My mother-in-law is driving me absolutely nuts with her concern of how she will look on my wedding day. For context, I’m not super girly so dresses, hair and makeup, etc. is outside of my wheelhouse and I’m fighting for my life out here as it is. Also, I’m not close with my mom and my mother-in-law is a very sweet person who has been a motherly figure to me in my adult life. I love her and am grateful that I have her… but, I think because she is very insecure and anxious, I’ve needed to console”

“As the title says, my mom keeps trying to invite people to our wedding reception. It’s not that I don’t love these people (they’re aunts, cousins, uncles, family friends) but we want a wedding reception with about 100 people max. Important to add: The ceremony is a separate thing. Only immediate family and our best friends (bridal party) will be there. It’s on a mountain away from home and we wanted that to be very small. The reception is a week later and is for our friends mostly, some extended”

“Hello everyone, looking for help with fixing up my centerpieces for my wedding in November. It is at a mansion and when we first started planning my mom offered to do all centerpieces. I thought great one thing off my plate, but they are looking rather DIY for a formal mansion wedding. We are trying to keep cost done and she has already invested so much into this concept that I feel horrible abandoning it. Our vibe is fall hydrangeas, antique, coastal mansion vibes. The rooms will be dark by the”

“So to preface, my future MIL is an absolute angel and I love her to death. We go on vacation together, talk all the time, and she’s been a huge help in planning the wedding (as well as contributing a SIGNIFICANT amount financially). 10/10 person and relationship. She recently asked me who would be doing the readings at our church ceremony, and I said go “well, I was hoping you would do a reading for us!” She is the only truly religious one in both our families, and was really excited when we tol”

“I’m looking over my invitations one last time before ordering, and I am pondering putting “please don’t wear white or red”, not like that specifically, but something encompassing this. My mother said “people should know that” followed by “I wore a beige dress to your fathers cousins wedding” 😑 I know most people know that you don’t wear white to the wedding. At least you’d think that people know. Requesting no red is cause usually that means you were the grooms mistress! Has anyone put any “cla”

“we got engaged in may. we have not booked anything. we have not set a date - thinking next autumn, probably. On sunday my fiance's aunt texted him the colours are lovely! neither of us knew what she was talking about. Apparently, his mother has made a properly designed gamma deck (ik coz the pdf said made with gamma lol) with mood boards, a colour palette (sage and cream), three venue options with photos, a rough running order for the day, and a budget breakdown coming to about rs20L ($22k).”

“Figuring out our seating charts, my SO has about 150 people coming vs my 50. First issue I have and solution I hope is okay/wont be noticed is the tables on his ‘side’ vs my ‘side’ for the reception. No ceremony so no issue. I’m thinking to just spill over his side’s tables over to my side so it’s not awkwardly 6 tables on the left and 15 on the right. Is that a weird solution? Will that work?? The other thing is - the tables fit 8-10 people. I’m trying to keep my family and friend groups togeth”

“Mom disagrees with lots about my wedding; choice of bridesmaids, amount of groomsmen, certain guests, venue location etc. I just know that she’s going my to be unhappy on my bachelorette for some reason or another. She won’t express these things directly though. She’ll make several offhand comments or little digs, where it’s very clear she’s unhappy, but when I try to address it, she will feign that she’s only making an observation and act like I’m perceiving it all wrong. I love her and she is”

“I posted in another subreddit about what advice to give guests so they would be appropriately dressed for our event (a cultural wedding which involves traditional dances). My post was not about specific dress codes or hard rules for the guests. Just 'what few lines of advice could we put on the invites to help people be prepared for this'. Participation in the dance is not mandatory and I tried really hard to make it clear that we are giving this advice to make it more comfortable for th”

“Non- traditional Bride here, complaining about my mom. For some info: we have never had a great relationship, but i thought it was better than it’s ever been. I start planning my wedding, and she always. Has. Something. To. Say. I’m struggling to cope with it. - My mom said that i was fat while i was trying on dresses, fine whatever. she’s always said that abt me, so i brushed it off. And when i found the one, she ended up paying for it even though i didn’t want her to and told her she didn’t ha”

“We just got engaged at the beginning of July. What all should I be including my mom in? We have a venue consultation tomorrow and she thought she was going but I just broke the news to her today that I’d like it to be just me and my fiancé. She is the type of person who has a lot of opinions and is not afraid to share them. It sometimes gets hard to know if I like something because I like it, or if I like it because she likes it. I really don’t want this to turn into her second wedding. Everyone”