Wedding planners worry about family conflicts at celebrations

“My preferred date for our wedding is mid May. I come from a huge family, and this would avoid putting it on someone 's birthday/own wedding anniversary. Summer it's too hot, we have the same birthday issue in the fall (worse, even) and I just don't want to get married when it's winter because everything here is really depressing looking. Unfortunately my flower girl has a gymnastics competition on one of the weekends. (It takes up the whole weekend). So now my dates are running e”

“My estranged brother’s wedding is this weekend. I’ve RSVP’d ”yes” to be polite and keep the peace for the rest of our family. I don’t know anyone else that’s going to be there, except for the family members that could make it - and not even all of the family is coming. My brother is very religious and I am not and I know a lot of his reception is going to be religious/worship music that I’m not going to want to listen/dance to. I have multiple food allergies and the reception is supposed to go o”

“My fiancé and I are planning our wedding for next October. We are keeping it as small as we can without cutting out any family members (90 people), which means lots of aunts and uncles. They range from 50s to 70s and we want to make sure they have a good time as well. There will be more people that age than our own age (29 and 30). We have considered doing moderate volume music after dinner so people can mingle and talk rather than transitioning to party/dance music. If you’ve been an older wedd”

“Hi all, i am getting married next summer and i am curious if what i am asking is fair/normal or not. My MOM is Trying to plan my bridal shower and we figured we would do a combined bridal shower with both sides. As in 1 bridal shower with both families not separate. Instead of having it at my parents we were thinking of doing it at a restaraunt but there’s a 1000 minimum for food + drink and will be about 50 people. Do you think it’s fair to ask grooms mom to split price 40/60 instead of having”

“Pretty much just like the title says my in-laws have kind of lost their mind…. My partner and I have been together for over 10 years and are excited to get married next fall. My partner has a large family who will all be invited to our wedding. In comparison, my guest list is a fraction of the size. His immediate family can also be pretty demanding, and we are just coming off of almost 2 years of no contact with his parents. We are not truly hosting a destination wedding as the location is about”

“I’m currently planning my wedding, it is going to be very small. Each of us will get 20 guests. My immediate family is larger and will have about 15 people before I even look to any friends. Would it be better not to invite married friends because I’ll only be able to invite two. Not that I don’t like my married friends partners it’s just I’d rather have the people I’m closest to there. If I didn’t invite their partners they would still each have people they are extremely close to there. I know”

“My fiance and I are looking to have a small 30-50 person wedding, but we're pretty private, and neither of us is interested in having the day be "all about us." We don't want to recite vows - so we're planning on just doing the simple "i do" - bonus if that part is private. We're also not interested in speeches. We don't really want to have a wedding party or anything, and honestly, we just want to have a private ceremony and then a simple party. The issue”

“TL;DR Has anyone purposefully not invited one half of a couple close to either themselves or their partner? How did it go? Also, outside of a wedding how have you handled difficult to tolerate people in your partner's lives? ----- My boyfriend and I are not engaged, but have talked about the future and are in agreement that we are in it for the long haul. (Please remove if not allowed since I guess I'm not actively planning) However, his best friend's wife sucks. No two ways about it”

“I'm getting married in a few weeks and my parents have raised an issue with the amount of speeches we're planning on having at the wedding. The lineup is as follows My parents together (they don't think they'll speak longer than a minute or so) Her father (mom is speaking at rehearsal dinner) My best friend/groomsman Her best friend/bridesmaid My brother/best man Her sister/bridesmaid My parents are also concerned that the other speeches will "outshine" my brother's”

“I’m getting ready to ask my bridal party for my wedding next year. I will have a sibling, a family member, and a couple of friends. The family member is also getting married next year shortly after my wedding. I recently found out I am not included in her bridal party of 6. I am crushed. When she first expressed this to me I was very calm and understanding in my response. It’s a hard time and impossible decision. The more I sit on it, the more my heart hurts. I always imagined we would be in eac”

“Hey planners, I am a bit confused if this is normal, if I am a bridezilla or what. My teenager year old cousin wants to sing in the wedding, my 10 years old wants to do a choregraphy and dance. This is not exactly common on my soon to be husband traditions, neither in my country traditions and it feels a bit off as I am not going to be seen or hearing the performers in advance to approve/or ask for small changes. Also, I am not particular close to neither of this cousins (I have seen them twice”

“I'm debating how to phrase my dress code and would love input! For context, my SO's family is from Northern Ireland, and I recently found out that they don't really do dress codes over there. Everyone just wears "wedding clothes" (direct quote lol). But we are getting married in the US, which is where my family is from, and I know my family will stress if they don't have a dress code to follow haha I initially just said "cocktail attire is kindly requested", b”

“My partner and I don't come from big families so we were thinking about having a small wedding. He would have maybe 5 to 10 people to invite on his side and maybe 12 on my side (that is family and friends). However on my side, family is a mess and I am not sure my dad would come. Him and my mother separated in really bad terms when I was about 4 and havn't spoken ever since. If they needed to communicate for whatever reason they would use lawyers or give me a letter to pass on. If they n”

“I'm currently planning my 2027 wedding and all the extras that go with it. My fiancé and I are planning a 22 person wedding, inviting only immediate family and my 2 best friends. I'm thinking ahead to my bachelorette party and bridal shower and want to invite people who won't be invited to my wedding. For my bach party, I want to invite some other friends whom I adore but I'm not close enough with to add to my small guest list. For the bridal shower, I'd like to invite some a”

“Like the title says, who would you invite? Who would you consider bridesmaids/groomsmen, and who even gets a seat at your wedding from YOUR SIDE? Not including family/friends from your partner's side/plus-ones. So, strictly your social circle. For context, I feel like I should give a summary of me as a person. I am a very social person on the exterior. I love meeting new people, making new connections, and I love having lots of friends. I have lots of friends who I talk to casually (maybe a”

“Calling all people who have ideas for a non traditional wedding celebration of sorts. My fiancé and I have planned to elope by ourselves though still want to celebrate in some capacity socially. Budget is tight. On my side many family members don’t get along (I will not invite them to the same function for my peace). Do we have multiple celebrations to accommodate? Which could get pricey. Do we say screw it and have one and only invite one side. Do we have a get together with friends? Has anyone”

“Getting married next year and my fiancé and I are talking about how we want the day to be and what we want to do for the different portions of the party. But nothing will be like any of the traditional ways either of our respective countries do it. No wedding party we have decided we don't want a wedding party. We're involving different friends, in different parts, of both the planning and day of. I don't have any 1 friend or sister that I really want to make the maid of honour, and”