Adult children seek financial assistance from wealthy parents
11 posts across 7 communities in the last 60 days; 46% from r/personalfinance.
“Absolutely not. FWIW you wouldn't even qualify for a loan if you don't have meaningful income. Have they asked a bank if they qualify? If they can't afford a house, they don't get a house. No shame in renting.”
“The reactions here should tell you a lot about how very financially successful people view your post. 1) You can't have a credit rating "north of 850." 850 is the max. I once achieved a 849 for 1 month but typically I am 810-825. 2) Was the "SA" by an ultra rich man with whom…”
“I think most of us Gen X that stand to inherit are already doing ok. “Generational wealth” starts trickling down prior to our parents dying.”
Multiple posts detail individuals requesting substantial financial support, specifically a home purchase, from their affluent fathers. The requests range from direct solicitation to seeking advice on how to approach the situation.
SOURCES (47)
“I think most of us Gen X that stand to inherit are already doing ok. “Generational wealth” starts trickling down prior to our parents dying.”
“Right. I also feel like if their parents can give them 100k, they know how to best handle it. I doubt the parents are clueless about how to navigate this.”
“I mean, unless you become a billionaire and money is no object at all obviously this is a ludicrous thing for anyone to ask.”
“Absolutely not. FWIW you wouldn't even qualify for a loan if you don't have meaningful income. Have they asked a bank if they qualify? If they can't afford a house, they don't get a house. No shame in renting.”
“A parent who would do this is a parent who would try to use your id to get credit cards etc. Check your credit history for unknown accounts”
“And, I don’t think it’s a good idea to move such selfish, unreasonable parents in with you.”
“If they are committed to fully being responsible for a house that would be bought in your name, they can research how to buy a house in whatever their peculiar circumstance is. If they are still unable to purchase a home independently, then it’s a consequence of the choices they made previously. There’s nothing wrong with continuing to rent at their age. It seems their goal is not to become financially intelligent, so what does renting or owning matter to them at this point?”
“+ I'd bet those special programs require that the home be the borrower's primary residence.”
“As someone who did this for their father, I’d say don’t do it. My childhood home was foreclosed a few years back and my dad didn’t have the credit necessary to get a reasonable mortgage to buy HIS childhood home (long story there) and I was guilted into doing it because I love my dad and wanted to help him out. He was very promising that he’d make all of the payments and he did make every payment on time (may not be the case for you) so I got lucky there however I did lose my opportunity to get”
“They're not financially responsible since they're asking you for this. It's a terrible idea”
“Lock down your credit. Something tells me a solid NO won't be the end of it. They don't sound easily deterred.”
“Make sure you do a credit freeze just in case they decide to run a app or some sort of sketchy deal using your info.”
“Please do not buy a house or co-sign for one for your parents. A house is a big responsibility and potentially a legal liability. You do not owe this to your parents or anyone else. If you wish to give them a cash gift when you late in the financial position to do so, please consider this, but not a house. Until you have a fully funded emergency fund and are completely debt free, I wouldn’t even consider a gift.”
“my parents have been renting their whole life and are finally thinking about buying a house, but for reasons I won’t disclose, one of my parents is afraid they won’t qualify for a loan to buy a house so they asked me if I’d buy the house for them when I get a job, assuming they don’t qualify. I said I wasn’t comfortable because even though I don’t know much about homeownership, I know it can be risky and is an enormous responsibility. this parent got clearly upset and started to get passive aggr”
“It's ok your father will just marry you off most likely (jk). Just let him know, I don't think he'd really care unless he loves his car more than you”
“Do you live with your parents in this house that you’re paying the entire mortgage for, or is this a house they financed for you to live in by yourself and you’re paying the mortgage?”
No i think i misunderstood its not. Paid im paying for it
“They don’t own you though, they can’t stop you. You’re paying for their mortgage but they still own it, how is that fair?? They could sell it anytime and leave you with nothing.”
“Location: Kentucky, USA Husband and I are looking at possibly buying his parent's house. It's not the perfect house for us and feel like we would need to do some remodeling to suit our needs better. They have set a price for us and what they want to go to market at if we don't buy it. I'm not sure how they came up with pricing but honestly it seems appropriate for the house and area. We have a pre-approval letter from the bank but have not signed any contract yet nor have we talk”
“We already have a fully furnished home with appliances etc, and in the interest of not getting into consumerism, we really don’t want random trinkets. What’s a good way to word this? submitted by /u/cupcakeAnu [link] [comments]”
“Neither of those are very good reasons for owning Nor do your financials suggest you can reasonably afford owning”
The US is mostly a third world country with pockets of extreme wealth
“Sounds like you can’t do anything. As the saying goes: you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink. Also, you can refuse a gift if you really want to - a deed requires acceptance by the grantee, so a deed transferring property to your name is no legal if you don’t want it to be.”
“You do you boo. When it comes to purchasing property of any kind, I will have a lawyer involved”
“You don’t need a lawyer to create a purchase agreement with a gift of equity. What a waste of money”
Yeah, sort of one of those "where do I even begin" posts.
“I guess this post is a cautionary tale for fat fire families with children. Train them early and often to be self reliant and not sorry for themselves. Otherwise, you'll end up with a kid posting on Reddit about why they aren't "entitled" even though they expect dad to buy them a house. There is a lot of Ai slop on this sub. I sure hope this post isn't real but if so... golly.”
“If you are going to ask for help, the better approach is to do the work on the front end to figure out how much you could afford to pay toward a mortgage each month, show your dad that you come up with a reasonable budget, and ask for the down payment as a loan. That shows you are taking responsibility for yourself and not just asking for a giant handout.”
“Working with wealthy clients for years I would ask for a loan. Most patriarchs and matriarchs are willing to make loans, and end up forgiving payments, or principal, or both either during their lifetime, or at death. Also, consider a "business plan" and "skin in the game" approach. Say: I found this house is a good neighborhood and it looks like a good investment, it costs $500K. I have researched utility, insurance, taxes HOA fees, etc. and I can afford to maintain it. I hav”
“The reactions here should tell you a lot about how very financially successful people view your post. 1) You can't have a credit rating "north of 850." 850 is the max. I once achieved a 849 for 1 month but typically I am 810-825. 2) Was the "SA" by an ultra rich man with whom you were in a relationship? I suspect you are a physically attractive woman. Correct? 3) Did you carry a bipolar diagnosis before the PTSD? 4) You should realize that your father is unlikely to just”
“I think the volunteer part is just virtue signaling. She's saying despite me wanting a house, I'm working and I'm a good person volunteering too. Well, that's how it comes across to me.”
“Not to rain on your parade but there is no such thing as getting your inheritance earlier most of the time lol. At this point it's still their money. Tell me how are they as parents? As from my earlier statement, my mother, she's the matriarch, and she is toxic af. All of us would rather tear our nails out before we ask for money from her. If you talk about inheritance in advance, she'd tell you to fuck off. It's her money.”
“If I were your dad, I would say no. There are things you learn when you're struggling for a few years. You can stop volunteering and figure out a way to make more money, so you can afford real estate. If you really want a house, then improving your housing situation should take highest priority over volunteering and giving back to the world. That's a decision you made, to prioritize stupid crap first, and you want your father so support your poor decision making.”
“does your dad know you're struggling with money? that would seem a better way to ask than reddit m'dear!”
“I think everyone is “entitled” to some extent. Ever felt like you deserved something? Yeah, that’s entitlement.”
“Not necessarily. I just want to get my inheritance earlier. Which I believe is what he also got. He denies it, because most wealthy people like to come across as self made, however I do know he got his inheritance earlier to start his business.”
“I have a great relationship with my dad. I’ve never asked for a cent. I think I mentioned that abuser was an ultra high net worth individual because it annoys me that karma doesn’t exist.”
Keep in mind I’ve been volunteering for years, way before my year of hell
“TIL there's only one ultra rich person in the world and it's OP's father. I see what you're saying but no one was confused by OP's choice of words.”
“Is the backstory on what a traumatic year it’s been for you part of why you want a house or feel like it would make sense for your dad to buy you one?”
“"I’m not “entitled” per se" Your entire post reeks of entitlement. You describe wanting hundreds of thousands if not millions from your dad, for free, and describe this as "the only thing, something basic" A non-entitled person might have asked "whats a fair rate of interest on a loan I intend to request from my father, which will be secured against a home I will buy" or similar.”
“Wanting some advise on how to respectfully ask my father to buy me a home. I’m currently spending 75% on my salary on just living due to insane rent prices. Had a tough year due to an SA, illness, a mental breakdown caused by PTSD after my assault. What makes it more distracting is that my abuser is ultra rich too. Basically I had a month long manic episode where I thought I had the perfect life and spent a decent amount of money. I’m now medicated and in a job I really love. Perhaps I’m just af”