Brides feel pressured to include non-bridesmaids in the wedding party

“Hi everyone 26F getting married in fall of next year and I have some questions. I have one matron of honor and not sure if I should make my other friend a maid of honor, and then I have one more bridesmaid too. My dilemma is recently the person I’m not so sure if I want to have as a maid of honor is making things about herself here and there ever since I got engaged. I’ve been friends with them for longer than a decade, they are probably my closest friend but recently it is just not the same and”

“Hello! I (26F) don’t have many close friends, so I thought about asking my cousin-in-law (27F) and my aunt (35F) to be my bridesmaids. I’ve thought about this since we started planning the wedding in late 2025, but I wanted to wait until it got closer to the date before I asked, just in case something changed. Both my CIL and my aunt live out of state. My cousin is ~5.5hr from us (Illinois), and my aunt is ~11hr from us (Virginia). On top of that, we don’t talk very often, but when we do we get”

“TLDR: better to do two big bridal parties, or just stick to only doing MOH and no bridesmaids? My fiancée (28F) and I (29F) are planning our wedding for summer 2027, and we are really stuck on what we want our wedding parties to look like. We both have one sister, so we’re both pretty solid on wanting them to be MOH. For our bridal parties, we are blessed to have a lot of close friends in our lives that we’d want to include. A lot of these friendships are from medium-sized friend groups, where I”

“Hi, guys! I don’t know if this counts as “wedding planning,” but I could really use some advice. My best friend, whom I love dearly, is getting married very soon. She’s a semi non-traditional bride and doesn’t have the usual bridal party setup with bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls, etc. She has me as her MOH, along with a few family members and friends (girls and gays) who will be part of her bridal party. There might only be five of us at most. She doesn’t have the best relationship with so”

“I’ve been her friend for well over 10 years now and want to still support her and be a guest, but the idea of being a bridesmaid makes me feel a massive amount of anxiety as she is the only person I know. I kinda know her fiance, i don’t know any of her other bridesmaids, and i don’t know any of the other guests. We haven’t been as close these past few years and even then we mostly communicated every now & then. I said yes at first because she is a dear friend to me, but the more i thought a”

“So I have a lot of very important women in my life from very different areas of my life. I have a close circle of 6 friends from vet school, but my “earlier life” friends/ sister have already filled 4 bridesmaid spots. I want them at my bachelorette though. It would be ridiculous to have 10 bridesmaids, so would it be hurtful to invite my vet school circle to the bachelorette but not to be bridesmaids? Also, I plan to keep my bachelorette ~$250-400 per person no matter how many attend. Is that a”

“I'm really struggling with how to approach the whole bridal party situation and would love to hear from anyone who has done something less traditional. My fiance is having groomsmen, but I don't really want the traditional rigid group of bridesmaids setup with matching dresses, walking down the aisle, standing up during the ceremony, etc. But I also don't want to completely skip having my closest friends involved in the day. Ideally, I'm picturing something more relaxed/casual wh”

“I was a bridesmaid for three of my friends and now that I’m getting married I’m debating on also making them bridesmaids. I know some people get really offended and upset if they aren’t asked and I really don’t want to upset them. I know for sure my MOH is going to be my best friend, and then 2 family members and 1 future SIL as bridesmaids, so 4 total. I just don’t know if I should add 3 more to make it 7. I want to keep my bridal party small because we put together a guest list of everyone we’”

“I have 6 bridesmaids and I am in the process of booking hair / makeup services. Many of them have expressed wanting to do their own hair and makeup and have opted out of getting one / the other or both done. I asked if it was a cost thing because I have been considering paying for hair for all girls (especially as none of them feel comfortable getting their makeup done) as a gift but many are still not interested. I am planning gifts instead but I keep seeing things saying skip out on the gifts”

“i’m having a small destination wedding next year and have 7 bridesmaids who i genuinely thought were some of my closest friends. my birthday was yesterday, and honestly the whole thing has made me question some of these friendships. one of my bridesmaids is someone i actually hadn’t known for very long before i asked her to be in my wedding, but for some reason i felt really close to her and wanted her there. looking back, i think part of what makes this so confusing is that i didn’t actually kn”

“So a friend asked if she was going to be a bridesmaid about a day after I got engaged. In my excitement and people pleasing anxiety I just said “yeah” immediately without thinking it through. She’s spoken to me a few times since asking about my bachelorette party. She is a nice friend but we have grown distant over the past couple of years and don’t actually see each other that often. I want to keep my bridal party small and don’t think I actually want her to be a bridesmaid but feel like an awf”

“Asking because I am currently in this boat. I feel like I am being asked to do all the things a bridesmaid would do but not given the title. And ofc all the things are last min planned 😵‍💫 Seeking a bride’s perspective. I was told no bridesmaids because there wasn’t “room” at the venue but I don’t buy it. submitted by /u/Flashy_Aide3640 [link] [comments]”

“Hi Reddit! First time poster as I'm recently engaged, we're planning a May 2028 wedding with around 175 - 200 guests. I've always wanted bridesmaids and have a lot of close friends from different stages of my life that I've culled down to 10 women I'd really like to ask. I could cut it to 8 if I absolutely had to, but I genuinely love all 10 and they've each been important to me in different ways. I have too many people I care about, and I know some close friends may be h”

“I get married on Saturday, 5 days away. I have 5 bridesmaids. One lives 3 hours away, one is in another state, one is 15 minutes away, one is 30 min and my sister. The friend who is 30 minutes away is 4 months pregnant with her second child. When my bachelorette party came around, which was 2 hours away, another bridesmaid and my mom reached out to her to have someone pick her up so she didn’t have to drive. To my other friend she started to complain about how far I planned the party, the day of”

“I'm the maid of honor in my best friend's wedding and my bestie said that she would want my dress to stand out more then the bridesmaids. I've been searching and found these two dresses that I like but I'm so indecisive though and I am torn between these dresses which one should I choose? 🤦🏽‍♀️ Also if anyone have any other links of dresses in this shade help a girlie out please. 😩 For reference I'm 5'10 and weigh 135. submitted by /u/Icy-Progress5630 [link”

“My husband and I had a rush elopement earlier this year because a family member was very ill and we wanted her to be there. We are throwing our reception next year. Since our elopement was so last-minute, we kept it very very small and only had a maid of honour (my sister) and a best woman. I have two longtime close friends from high school and university whom I would have asked to be bridesmaids had we gone about everything more traditionally. Is there a way to make someone a "reception-on”

“Anyone else second guessing their bridesmaid picks? My fiancé and I decided to do co maid of honors and best men because we both had two people in our lives for a long time that we wanted to include. Unfortunately, one of mine has been completely unsupportive. Anytime I bring up wedding stuff, whether to get opinions, vent, or just share because I’m excited I get met with uninterested responses. I stopped sharing anything wedding related because of this. Yesterday, i really needed someone to ven”

“Hi ! I wanted to get some insight as I’m finally planning my wedding! For my bridal party, I have already picked out. There’s 4 in total (including me as the bride) I have 2 best friends who ive known for like 10+ years now. We all met around the same time as we’re all a year apart but all our younger brothers played sports together. I pictured them by my side on my special day since the moment I met them as I knew these girls would be my ride or dies. Would it be weird if I did this? Tbh I can’”

“I'm planning to have my wedding in fall of next year and I can't decide whether or not I want to have a bridal party. I have a good number of friends who I could ask, but part of the challenge is that I live away from almost all of them. And I don't feel picky about wanting everyone to match and wear the same/similar dresses. Another thing I think about is that my fiancé might not easily have the same number of groomsmen. We're both a bit older (late 20s/early 30s) and don't”

“I am an April 2027 bride and thought I picked my best bridal party and maid of honor. I think I need to promote a bridesmaid (Liz) to matron of honor but don’t know how to. I sent my bridesmaid proposal boxes about a month ago and my maid of honor (friend since 6th grade, went to college together, great friends after too) calls me all freaked out that she thinks I’m gonna hate her cause she’s extremely type B and can’t plan anything and doesn’t want to take initiative for MOH stuff. At the time,”

“To keep this short and sweet, I’d like ideas for a wedding in which we have no bridal party. I have a few female friends, about 4, who I want to feel special, because we’ve been close for a long time. I’d like them to have some involvement in my wedding even though me and my fiancé both agree that we don’t want a bridal party. I like the idea of it being “just us” on the altar, and it feels a lot more intimate. In addition, my finance doesn’t really have any men close enough to him that he’d con”

“I’m getting married in a couple of months and one of my best friends is a bridesmaid. All of my bridesmaids have been given a plus-one, so I absolutely want her to feel like she can bring someone and have a date at the wedding. Three of the other bridesmaids are in serious relationships/engaged, and my sister is bringing her best female friend. The issue is the person she wants to bring…. She has had a situationship with this guy for probably 4-5 years. We went to college with him. They’ve hooke”

“Hi all! When I started my new job, I became friends with a coworker who was engaged. We hung out quite a bit and she asked me to be a bridesmaid! I was honestly quite surprised since I’d only known her for a few months at the time and the wedding was happening relatively soon (met March and July wedding). Throughout the time leading up to the wedding it became clear that her opinion was that bridesmaids should be in each others weddings. I hadn’t really heard of that before. Now, 3ish years have”

“Hi! 19F getting married in a couple months. Just dawned on me I don't really have any friends I'd give the role of maid of honour to, and I only have my little sister that I want as a bridesmaid. I have no childhood friends or any particularly close friends, and the few friends I do have probably won't be attending the wedding. I'm kinda sad that I've ended up in this position with nobody I want there but now I only have a little while to work out a plan submitted by &#”

“Hi everyone! My wedding is coming up very quickly, and I wanted to get some thoughts. I have a close guy friend who I have been friends with for almost 10 years. We met in college and he is one of my best friends in the world. I have 8 bridesmaids and my fiancè has 8 groomsmen. He did not expect to be included in the wedding party in any way, but he’s been so supportive of me during the planning process and is coming on my bachelorette. I would love to include him in a special way on the day of.”

“I am hoping for some honest advice/insight. I am getting married and am choosing my bridesmaids. I have some close friends in mind (3) but am having a dilemma. I have 1 sister (only sibling) and we have never been close so I would have never chosen her to be in my bridal party. Conversely, I am quite close to my sister in law who has asked me to be her bridesmaid at her wedding. I would be more than happy to have her as my bridesmaid. I know everyone says it’s your day and do as you please, but”

“I know variations of this dilemma are posted frequently, but I'm still struggling and could use some advice. I'm having a small wedding, and have a small social circle in general. I will have 3 bridesmaids. The problem is picking a MOH. One of my bridesmaids is my best friend from childhood. Since we were children, we have always promised each other to be each other's MOH and she's stuck by me through thick and thin. The other candidate is my sister. We've become extremely cl”

“I feel so much pressure since being engaged. I’ve chosen 4 bridesmaid (1 sister and 3 friends). 2 of my bridesmaids are older friends - I was a bridesmaid for both of them, and I wanted to return that honour. However I’m now worries about some of the girls I hang around with more frequently now… a couple of them keep asking me about “who’s planning the hen do” which is obviously a bridesmaid role, and now o feel too scared to tell them who I’ve decided on. We only have a small amount of rooms at”

“I'm at an impasse about how to proceed with this. I have a group of 3 friends, 2 girls and 1 boy. One of them, Maria (fictitious name), has become a terrible friend over the years. She has a terrible habit of being late for everything (3 to 4 hours late, not 20 or 30 minutes) and always insists that every meeting must be at the place and on the day she wants. For many years, we gave in because she has many problems at home and lives in a dangerous area, but it got to a point where we were sa”

“My fiancée and I are planning our wedding. We are not going to do traditional wedding parties. Honestly, we’re not doing a lot of traditional things. His best friend will be our officiant and I have about 7-8 girls in my life that I adore. I want to still do a first look picture with them but otherwise I just want them to enjoy themselves. Is that weird? Is it okay if I just tell them to come to the wedding in whatever makes them comfortable? Or like come in a midi dress. We plan on telling our”

“I’m the maid of honor in my friend’s upcoming wedding and would love to give her a gift on the wedding day. I’m wondering what’s customary, is it normal for the maid of honor to give the bride a personal gift, or is this usually something all of the bridesmaids pitch in for together? I don’t want to make the other bridesmaids feel like they’re expected to contribute if that’s not normally a thing. What have you seen or done or expect? submitted by /u/AcceptableSometimes [link]”

“I've got my wedding booked for next year and I'm trying to decide on bridesmaids. I've already asked my sister to be my MOH. I don't really have any close girl friends and was thinking of asking two friends from university. We were close at uni and they are lovely supportive people who would be great on the day. The issue is I only manage to meet up with them 2/3 times a year since finishing Uni just as we're all very busy. We exactly talk a lot in between either. Is it weird”

“Me and my partner are starting to plan out bridesmaids/groomsmen as we are getting married abroad and want to ask people in advance. I’m very close to my sister and a few of my high school friends and I’ve always known I’d have them involved. My partner has three sisters who I get on with fine but don’t talk to outside of seeing them and don’t really have anything in common with them. I think I’m swaying more to not having them as my bridesmaids. The thought of having events with my friends who”

“Needing advice/outsider perspectives on how my partner and I can form our wedding parties: I have 5 friends I want as bridesmaids. My fiance has 4 friends to be groomsmen. He has 1 sister. We want to involve her in the day -I could include her as a bridesmaid, which would make our parties 6 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen. Or should my fiance have her serve as a “groomswoman,” thus making it 5 on each side, as I’m technically not super close with her (we get along though, we just have a pretty large”

“I (26F) am currently planning my wedding for spring 2028, it's around 100 people and relatively casual, so I'll be asking a lot from my bridesmaids and thus have a small bridal party of just my closest everyday girls who I feel really confident calling on. This does not include one friend of mine who has been a best friend since we were kids. She moved 8 hours away right after high school, so a good few years now, but she and I connect so easily every time we see each other again, and we”

“So newly engaged! I'm still taking my time on deciding this, I've also looked through A LOT of the posts made on this reddit, and like a few of y'all on here I have 2 best friends that both mean a lot to me and have known me on 2 different walks of life. Friend A: I've known since elementary school and she's been a rock to me through our school days and have been recently reconnecting as she's out of the military but doing school now so I can only see her during breaks wh”