DIY wedding planning reveals unexpected complexity at every step

“I had a massively DIY wedding. The week after, I posted on here to bemoan the grief of all the things that went wrong. I had my pity party for a couple weeks, but now that I've recovered, I STILL THINK I WOULD DIY AGAIN because I love it so much, but only if I was armed with the knowledge I have now. I had a veritable army helping me, so it could have gone smoothly if I'd been more organized. IT IS MY DUTY TO PASS THIS ON because I know the joy of DIY and want you to be successful! Also,”

“Spiraling because I’m very type A and willing DIY so it how I want it but when it comes to the florals and decor for the wedding I’m realizing I may need to leave to someone else. I need to get ready and enjoy my day and I’ll already have heightened stress with other factors so I’m coming to terms with needing to find a florist. I’m very picky with fake florals so by them time you spend money on fake florals it cost the same amount as fresh plus there’s the hassle of reselling them after to get”

“We technically aren’t engaged because he is looking for a job. But we have a ring, a date and a venue. Our wedding is set for September 2027. He thinks I’m planning too far ahead and that it’s almost a year away. I think he’s joking but he talks about starting to plan in June. Anyway, I have been doing all the research for vendors. I asked him to research photographers, from what I can tell, he hasn’t done anything. He thinks I’m nagging because I want to get engagement photos done now (at least”

“I (28F) and my fiancé (28M) and I have been engaged for 3 years — a long engagement because I was still in school. We recently decided to get married in 3 weeks, just the two of us: a courthouse ceremony with a hired photographer, no guests. We're both extremely close with our families, but both sets of parents tend to get overly involved. If we invited them, a small, intimate ceremony would inevitably turn into something much bigger. So we agreed: courthouse wedding now, and we'll save”

“Should we cancel the wedding we’ve been planning? My fiance and I got engaged in February. Since then, we’ve basically planned 70% of our wedding. We’ve secured the venue, catering/bar, DJ, photographer, videographer, etc. A few months after we got engaged, my father got engaged to a woman who he had been dating for about a month, after getting divorced less than a year prior. He had depended on me for emotional support during the whole divorce process. Since then, we’ve fought worse than we’ve”

“Only three weeks of being engaged and I feel like I spend more time worrying about upsetting someone over formalities than planning the actual wedding! I’m an only child and first of my friends to get married so I don’t have many people to ask for advice. What’s the one formality you didn’t know before planning but felt like everybody else knew? Or what formality either saved you or caused someone to be upset? submitted by /u/Anolty [link] [comments]”

“I’m having a 2 year long engagement. We’re only about 5 months in and I’m already just feeling annoyed I still have so long to wait. Part of me feels so silly spending 2 YEARS planning a 5 hour event. Likeeee what am I even doing this for. This is probably just a personal problem though as I felt the same way between ring shopping and the proposal. Like we know we’re getting married, what’s the hold up just give me the ring 🤣 submitted by /u/Outrageous_Egg_1340 [link] [comment”

“this is partially budget, mostly venting to the void. My fiance and i are paying for our small wedding ourselves. Keeping it under 10-12k i guess? We haven’t gotten his suit and our bands yet, but the big thing currently is flowers. I am getting a fresh bridal bouquet from a professional, along with some boutonnières. Next up are table flowers. Obviously fresh flowers are amazing and wonderful and always number one choice. However, not always budget friendly in some cases. One of my cousins got”

“hi Reddit. I 22F am engaged to 23M. he is very admit about not wanting a traditional wedding because he doesn’t want to spend all the money on it, he doesn’t like the attention. also he doesn’t want to do a first dance or vows because he doesn’t like everyone looking at him. I also am similar to this. initially we had talked about doing an elopement and destination with just family. But now I am kind of wanting a wedding. I also don’t love being the center of attention so I would like the idea o”

“I (29f) am engaged to my wonderful fiance (30m) and have been for 9 months now. I have been battling this feeling that I don't feel all the oh-my-god excitement that I think I'm supposed to feel. I feel really alone and like I don't know how to answer questions about how everything is going- we havent even set a date since none of the venues we looked at feel right. I think I might be stuck in an overthinking loop. As for my relationship, we have been together over 3 years and have l”

“I’m 32F and have been with my fiancé (43) for over 5 years. We’ve been planning our wedding for a while, and until recently I genuinely thought I would marry him. He has been a huge part of my life and has supported me through some very difficult periods. Over the past few months, however, I’ve started having serious doubts about the relationship and whether we are actually compatible for marriage. Some of this coincided with a very difficult period for him — his brother became seriously ill and”

“I made my own bridal bouquet for my wedding that is coming up 2 weeks. The wedding is an autumnal theme, I bought an arrangement of dried and faux plants/ flowers for cheap and made my bouquet from it. This is the best I could do with the materials I have does this look like a bridal bouquet or does it look totally fucked as I am starting to panic ! submitted by /u/Technical_Zombie6030 [link] [comments]”

“So, my fiancee and I are getting married in mid November. Overall, the planning process hasn’t been terribly difficult. We opted to avoid having a wedding planner to save the money, so it was a bit touch and go at times, but we’ve worked well together. As far as our expenses, everything has been fairly reasonable. Hell, the venue was only $3,500 and the catering was only $2,500 (and that’s for really good barbecue, enough to feed 75 people.) Well, today we received a quote for a tent/tables/chai”

“I decided I’m going to DIY my bridal bouquets and bridesmaid bouquets because I refuse to pay a ton of money for flowers that are just going to die (working with my venue to see if they will do the flowers for the ceremony/reception or if I need to make those as well). My mom and I bought all of the flowers we used at hobby lobby (40% florals is such a score) and assembled these! I cannot wait to get to use them in my big day, I’m very proud of the flowers turned out ◡̈ we have 5 more bridesmaid”

“Let me start by saying I do want to have a wedding. My fiancé is in school right now and I work full time and in between is life. At first it was just the crippling expectations of my culture and family. But even my parents have said they’re ok with whatever we do because they think we’ve waited too long so they’ve removed all pressure, I think they think we won’t get married at all lol. Either way it’s working out in my favor. But to be completely honest, I want the wedding but I don’t want to”

“I have always loved weddings, but I am not an event planner. Being in charge of events deeply stresses me out. My fiance and I recently got engaged so the idea of what we want our wedding to be is of course on our minds, even if we have no intention to start seriously planning until after I finish my master's coursework in May. We are in this rough spot where we both want to have a huge party with all our favorite people in one place, but we don't want to deal with all the emotional turm”

“I recently got engaged to my partner and have started discussing wedding planning. I am more of an introvert and do not want a wedding at all. I don’t want to plan the wedding, I don’t want to pay for it, and I don’t want all the attention on me. I know that there is a very good chance I am going to be uncomfortable around his family because they are judgement so I won’t even be able to enjoy the day. I am perfectly fine going to the courthouse with our parents and eloping and having a small cer”

“I originally planned on an elopement or courthouse wedding. My fiancé was worried I would regret not having a wedding and he thought a big reason I “didn’t want one” was because of money (we can afford it, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think the money would be better spent elsewhere) Anyways, we ended up landing on doing a ceremony and dinner on family property with lots of rentals. We’re 9 months out from the wedding and I find myself dragging my feet on planning… I think because internal”

“For me, I think trying to create a vision that I want, and keeping it under a budget, was the most stressful part for me. We also did not hire a wedding planner, and I am very detail-oriented, so it was stressful to make sure that everything is organized and on track. It's basically like a second full-time job. I wish that we had hired a planner, but I thought it was going to be quite expensive so I didn't bother doing research on it. Because one of my acquaintances actually said that sh”

“My fiance and I are really entertaining the idea of no Groom or Bridal party. We’ve been in weddings where there’s so much drama, it’s expensive and added stress of others opinions. On top of it, he has way more friends than me. So - if you didn’t do a party, do you regret it? Or, do you wish you didn’t do one if you could go back? submitted by /u/purple_leps [link] [comments]”

“This is just a vent. I don't need advice. I just want to know if anyone feels my pain. I didn't want a wedding I wanted to elope. My fiance wanted a wedding. We settled on a micro, backyard wedding. No dance floor, no vendors besides catering & photographer. I didn't want a wedding because I did not want to deal with everything. I've just heard a million stories of partners being utterly useless, and even tho I love my fiance and thought they were more competent than an &quot”

“HI! I’m getting married next month and am planning on doing my own flowers for the tables - just little flower arrangements with mixed flowers from Trader Joe’s. But have a couple questions if anyone has ever done this: When did you get the flowers? Do you think 2 days before is doable? Passing a Trader Joe’s on the way to the venue 2 days before. Should I set up the arrangements myself or see if the day-of-coordinator can do it? (I’m a control freak though) Anyone have photos of their DIY flowe”

“I just got quoted $7500 for florals. I'm now thinking of just making my own bouquets and centerpieces. For anyone who has done this, how did it go? How did you store the flowers pre wedding? submitted by /u/No_Fig2900 [link] [comments]”

“This has been a busy summer and I have a decision to make on which major purchase I need to focus on. I (25F) just got engaged to my fiancé (26M)! We are excited to have a small backyard wedding, we’re think $10k budget, 80 total headcount, and hoping for a Summer 2027 wedding so that we can also plan for having children one day. I also sold my car from college. My fiancé and I are now down to a one car household. We make it work fine, there are hardly ever any issues when we both have places to”

“I wanted to elope. Fiance wanted a wedding. So we planned a 30 person micro wedding that's pretty DIY/untraditional. It was supposed to be 24, but there were 6 people who were maybes on that ended up becoming really close to us and helped us through some grief. So now we're closer with those people than the others and invited them bc of such. But now it feels like there's too many people even tho I really want them there. I don't want a caterer even though I'm really excited”

“I 21(F) get married in two weeks and I’m not even excited. Planning and spending all this money has been so extremely stressful and exhausting that both my fiancé and I are just ready for it to be over. Literally my fiancé keeps saying stuff like “it’ll be ok we just need to get through it” and “when it’s all over it’ll be better again”. We’re excited to be married but not for the actual wedding. I wish we just used the money to elope instead of planning a whole wedding. submitted by”

“This is a throw away account. I (42f) am engaged to my fiancé (36m). He wants a big elaborate wedding and I’ve always been upfront about just having something small, eloping or city hall. To make a long story short: there’s family drama on his side. A lot. my family would be coming from the other side of the country which makes me feel pressure to put on an event worth traveling for Proximity to accommodations. We live in the country, will most likely have a barn wedding and it would be 30-45 mi”

“So me and my boyfriend are still not married while I’m seeing all our peers getting married at 26 to 29. It feels strange to see so many posts and feels fake sometimes. I want a calm engagement (20 people both side so total 40 people in engagement) and wedding (50 people both side so total 100 people in wedding) because for me wedding is intimate and not the one with DJ etc. Example - Find the ring ceremony and Engagement on day 1 in morning 10am to 2pm and lunch and people can talk a bit and go”

“I am getting married in 1 week (25th July) and I am so overwhelmed at how close it is. We’ve been planning it for almost 3 years and it’s costing us £30,000. Everything is sorted and all okay, apart from my brain. I am so overwhelmed and anxious about how close it is and I can’t shake the feeling of uncontrollable panic and I really don’t know why. He’s my absolute rock and best friend so there’s no doubts about him or anything. I think it’s just my brain panicking at how close it is and I’m fin”

“My wedding is in a few months. My fiancé (36m) and I (29f), have had such a tough time over the past year. It was never ending family drama. At some points it came in between us and made us question our relationship and whether or not we should have the wedding. I will say that we have worked on our relationship and are back on track to where we want to be and things are looking up. This post isn’t necessarily about my fiancé. It’s more about me and my feelings and what’s happening in my persona”

“Looking to commiserate with brides who have had mental health struggles with their wedding—not just some stress and anxiety, but honestly life-disrupting issues. My fiance and I have been planning our wedding while long distance, and it’s been a challenging engagement… I‘d always wanted to elope or have a courthouse wedding because I hate being the center of attention, but he has a large extended family and they needed to be invited in order to keep the peace. Planning has been difficult, especi”

“My fiance and I are due to get married late next year (fall). We started wedding planning or rather discussing what we want for our wedding last December after getting engaged in November. My fiance is a wonderful partner, I’d marry him 10 times over but I would’ve been perfectly fine getting eloped with our moms in tow then going on a fabulous honeymoon. But he advocated for a micro wedding (40 guests) so we could share the moment with our families, to which I agreed, because why wouldn’t want”

“I swear before getting engaged I had never once thought about chair styles, linen colors, invitation paper, table numbers, or any of the other million tiny decisions that come with wedding planning. Now somehow I’m spending 30 minutes comparing fonts and wondering whether anyone will notice the difference My fiancé keeps reminding me that our guests are coming to celebrate with us, not to judge the silverware, but it’s amazing how easy it is to get sucked into the details. Please tell me I’m not”

“I’m getting married October ‘27 and I just… I don’t care about planning the wedding. Picking out flowers and catering and that kinda stuff is just whatever to me and at this point, my lovely fiancé has been doing more wedding planning than I have. I don’t even want to go wedding dress shopping 😭 Additionally, the thought of the wedding & reception is making me uneasy. I am not a social person and I hate social events where I’m put in the spotlight. Additionally, I don’t really want to have”

“I’m getting married in August this year, it’s abroad because my fiancé is from that country and we wanted to do a weekend event. We don’t have a crazy budget as we are paying for pretty much everything ourselves, so the venue is nice but fairly low key, we have made lots of sacrifices and changes to our wedding plans because of our budget. It will still hopefully be a lovely event. My sister got engaged a couple of months ago and has decided she will get married in the same country as our weddin”

“Okay, So how did yall get your bouquets to look right without a metal cage or anything Im using artifical flowers, and they bend so easy🥺 Im 15 days away, and am literally flooded with tasks I have to manage on my own🫤 submitted by /u/BabyyJewelzz [link] [comments]”

“Hi everyone I'm writing this because my anxiety has finally gotten the better of me. For some context, I 35f and my fiance 29m got engaged this February. We are long distance, him UK and me USA. We've been together for 4 years and known each other for 10. He is amazing, my best friend and the kindest person I know. I can't wait to be his wife. We have started all our wedding planning and I am ecstatic with how involved he is. He has opinions and wants a wedding moreso than I even do.”

“Hi all, I (28F) got engaged to my wonderful fiancé (27M) couple weeks ago. We aren’t starting wedding planning until the end of this year as we have friends weddings coming up etc but we think it’ll be a 2028 wedding. Anyways, the drama unfolds already. I mentioned to my elder sister (39) A YEAR AGO in conversations about engagements weddings etc, baring in mind this is wayyyy before I even got engaged, that I don’t want children at my wedding. My mother was there too and they both replied with”

“After two years of planning and endless hours of stress, our wedding day was one of the best days of my life and I want to pass on some of my key take-aways: DIY flowers save soooo much money but what you’re not spending in cash, you’re spending in time. We ordered flowers from Bloom by Bunches, which is a farm-to-person wholesaler and they were wonderful to work with. With that said, DIY flowers were way more work than I was anticipating and flowers are a lot more delicate than I thought so we”

“I am completely heartbroken. I went to urgent care this Monday and was informed I fractured my second and third metatarsals 33 days before the wedding. I am so mad at myself because I was looking forward to walking down the aisle and dancing the night away. I'll be seeing the orthopedic doctor today but I can't help but wish I just didn't have the wedding anymore. I know I'm being dramatic but this was not how I envisioned our special day. 😭 Looking for positive thoughts or advi”

“Just a reminder to everyone that forever stamp prices are increasing this July! (I think the exact date is July 12 but I'm not really sure so just do it ASAP). Don't forget about needing stamps for thank you's too, I almost did. submitted by /u/EtherealToad [link] [comments]”