Wedding planners are pushing unwanted family members on couples

“Basically I’m not close with my sister and don’t want her to be my bridesmaid. Honestly, I don’t even want her in my wedding but everyone in my family I’ve talked to about it says I’m the bad guy if I don’t. She’s rude and loud. She’s constantly screaming at my nieces in public over nothing. Not to mention just mean to them but keeps having them. Doesn’t have a job, relies on the state for no reason other than pure laziness. She’s dramatic and overweight so whenever she’s “hot” she’s just a rude”

“I wanted to elope. But we decided to do a wedding. When we announced our engagement, his mom made it about herself and caused problems within the whole family. His SIL never defended us and when my fiance questioned her, she defended her mom. Context: she’s in her mid/late 20s like we are but still acts like a middle schooler. Before our engagement announcement, his mom would purposely not even say hi or bye to me and ignore me even though she just greeted her son and I’m right behind him. This”

“Please be kind. Before we got engaged, my fiancé and I decided we wanted a child-free wedding. Now we are engaged, and my fiancé’s brother and his girlfriend just had their baby. I want my FBIL to be present for my fiancé, but understand he is a parent now and his kid comes first. I also foresee comments using this as responses. I don’t want to risk an 18-month-old causing disruptions on a day we are spending a lot of money on. I have heard equal amounts of stories saying toddlers are wonderful”

“My close friend is getting married next week and I am helping her by being her coordinator the day of. Her in-laws are the ones paying for most of the wedding and she has mentioned a couple times of things that her MIL has suggested and insisted on that the bride herself does not want. But because they are paying, she feels obligated to give in, especially because she’s very shy and non confrontational. I agreed with her that I will do my best in blaming myself for some changes in decoration sin”

“Me and my fiance would like a child free wedding.however I have a sister who's child has special needs and requires care.how do I inform her of our request?our reason for child free is so our guests can enjoy themselves without having to be mindful of their children.most of our guests are local if that matters.tia submitted by /u/WriterCreative7746 [link] [comments]”

“Basically me and my fiancé decided to elope with just closest family in a scenic area. I’m still going wedding dress shopping and stuff like that and open to having an engagement party etc but we can’t afford a traditional wedding. My parents are very poor and live below the poverty line. My adult siblings also still live with them and barely contribute to the household expenses. I would love more than anything to have a wedding but it’s just not possible with cost of living expenses and student”

“My FMIL is insisting we invite someone that we don’t want there. How do we politely tell her that if she’s not helping pay for anything, she doesn’t get to make these choices. I’m frustrated with everything else so I feel like how I say it will come off really rude. submitted by /u/Snow_bunny_9891 [link] [comments]”

“I’m so frustrated right now and just need to vent. My fiancé and I really love to travel, especially for alpine hikes, and we are also really into fine dining and wine. Those are pretty much our favorite things. We planned a marriage celebration that combines all of those elements. Our budget is pretty limited because our house needs serious repairs. So, we decided to spend what money we do have on our dream trip. We want to fly to Europe, climb a peak that’s been on our list for a while, say ou”

“So I’m in my early 30s, as is my fiancé. We both have extended families we are close with between those family members alone that’s about 40 people ( Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and Cousin’s spouses). Adding all of the children together, it’s over 65 individuals, 20 of whom are under eight years old. We of course not close with all cousins from both of our families. I used to live in the same town as some of my relatives and their children. I have two as I call “ baby” cousins who are ages four and”

“So my partner and I decided that we just want to get married and deal with the stress of the reception later. I knew if we got married our parents would obviously want to be there at the signing. So we decided to just have a little dinner at a restaurant after we sign the papers. The plan is to have our parents, brothers and their partners, grandparents and one friend each. This comes out to 14 people. The issue: my one uncle is coming with my grandpa because he has special needs and they live t”

“Me and my partner are getting married and we’re both having drama from both sides of the family. We’re having 50 people to the ceremony and immediate family only for kids and choosing 50 due to the budget and also we would like an intimate wedding with the special people that mean the most to us. My parents in laws are avoiding us and causing arguments due to my partners half sisters step daughter not being invited (7 years old) his half sister makes no effort with us, makes no contact and hasn’”

“We are having a small micro wedding(less than 50 guests). 85% of the guest list is immediate family and the rest are our closest friends we invited. My future MIL asked a year ago if she can invite a female friend of hers to the wedding. We basically said no but ask us after rsvps come in and maybe we will reconsider. RSVP's are not in and wont be for weeks, but she brought up to my fiance recently that she went to rsvp and "didn't see a space to put her friend down", and is up”

“My fiancée (29M) has two aunts that are very dramatic, mean, hateful and will find any way they can to bully someone. I don’t want to invite them to our wedding due to this from added stress for myself, him, his mom (their sister) and his grandpa who gets very anxious when they are around. He said we should invite them to avoid the fallout (they will accuse his mom or grandpa of them not being invited). What should we do? I have no issue talking to them both about it and why we don’t want them t”

“I want a medium sized wedding with maybe 60 people or smaller. My fiancé, on the other hand, would invite every person he’s ever met if I let him. He wants a wedding with 100 people. Maybe more. The issue is that he has WAY more family and friends than I do, and he feels obligated to invite basically his entire family because both of his parents have passed away. There are some people on his side that I genuinely don’t want at our wedding because of differences and history, but he feels guilty a”

“Basically, my family is huge and there are a lot of children. I want to only invite the kids I know the names of to my wedding. For example, my cousin James has 3 kids that I’ve met maybe once. But my other cousin Leo, has 2 kids I regularly see at family gatherings. My other cousin Tim, has 2 kids I used to babysit. Can I invite Leo’s and Tim’s kids but not James kids without seeming rude? James will be invited. Edit: issue is most kids are around ages 10+ which means I would have to pay for an”

“My parents are calling me "unreasonable and overcontrolling" for setting boundaries on wedding +1s/guest list. Am I in the wrong? My partner and I are planning our wedding and hit the inevitable guest list conflict with my parents. Because my parents are helping fund the wedding, we’ve tried to be as accommodating as possible. They initially asked to invite a few of their friends, and since we had the capacity and a personal connection to them, we happily agreed. However, they’re now p”

“Please help. I am getting married next March. My fiancé and I have each selected our bridesmaids/groomsmen. Mine are my sisters and his sisters. His are his brothers in laws and some of his closest friends. I have 5 gals, he has 6 guys. Well, my dad keeps insisting that we include my brother and stepbrother as groomsmen. Keep in mind I am not super close with my stepbrother, which, in turn, means he’s not either. They’ve spoken maybe a couple words to each other. My brother is 18 years old and o”

“My FH and I are getting married next fall away from our home state. As a result there’s a lot of planning and organizing behind the scenes. I come from a family that doesn’t ever call unless something is seriously wrong or someone died but we have active family group chats. FH’s family calls all the time and shares every detail with each other. Because my family is a little more private and wait to share news until we see each other in person, it’s been a bit of an adjustment. My future FIL is a”

“My fiancé and I got engaged recently and had decided we wanted a very simple, almost courthouse wedding, and we wanted to do it in a couple of months. We had talked about that for some time before we got engaged and agreed we both wanted it to be small and intimate. When we got engaged, his parents asked us what we were thinking for the wedding. I said we wanted to do it in a couple of months and keep it to immediate family, dress up and take some photos, sign the papers or whatever needs to be”

“I come from a very small family. No siblings, no cousins, no aunts or uncles. All grandparents are dead. Don't speak to my father. So when it comes to family, I really only have my mother and step father. As for friends, I only have 2 - I'm autistic and don't make friends easily. My partner is the opposite, he has a huge family, loads of friends and wants to celebrate with them, which is fair enough. But it's going to look ridiculous when I can only invite 4 people. At a push I c”

“Hi everyone. I'm writing to share my experience planning my wedding. My partner and I will be getting married in September. We're organizing the wedding ourselves without a wedding planner, and my mother is helping me. The problem is that my mother is increasingly raising our expectations, bringing her own ideas into the planning and creating needs that weren't there before. It's all become very complicated, and I can't stop it. This is causing me so many problems that now I”

“My fiancé and I chose our own wedding party together. We decided not to make his sister a bridesmaid for reasons that made sense to us based on our relationship over the years. Instead of asking me why we made that decision, my fiancé’s mother spoke with my fiancé about it and also called my mother. During those conversations, it was communicated that another family member will not attend the wedding unless his sister was made a bridesmaid. I was surprised because no one asked me for my perspect”

“My fiancée (25F) and I (23M) are planning a wedding. Both our families keep giving input on who we should be inviting. We always wanted a small to medium sized wedding. We agreed that we don’t want to give anyone plus ones unless they are already engaged or married. My parents having been giving there opinions so I should give a specific family member a plus one since they have a long term boyfriend/girlfriend and if I don’t it could cause tension in the family. We aren’t even giving siblings pl”

“She’s married to my fiancés brother and they have been together for 7 years. She has been a mean girl to me the entire time I’ve known her. Shes tried to exclude me from the family or “other me” in a way. Shes comes across as if she wants me to know she’s big dawg (embarrassing). It especially rubs me the wrong way because I’m black and the rest of my fiancés family, including my sister in law is white. Shes a hateful person towards me and my fiancés sees it too. He thinks it’s very weird. I hav”